Questioning Looks, Grief, Society, and Sadism

 

"The whole body is susceptible to pleasure, but in places, there are wells from which it may be drawn up in greater quantity. But not inexhaustibly. How long is it possible to know pleasure? Rich Romans ate to satiety, and then purged their overburdened bellies and ate again. But they could not eat forever. A rose is sweet, but the nose becomes habituated to its scent."

-- Jesus Ignacio Aldapuerta 

******************************

Note to my readers:  "Congratulations, your content crossed 1,000,000 views!"  This was the headline I was greeted with this morning, but, before I became "tickled," I thought I might check it out.  In reality, my content crossed 1,007,371 views.  Now, put into context, I've been answering questions since 2019, so this number really works out to about 5,856 views per week, or 304,512 views per year..  Holy crap!  Sorry... I almost impressed myself.

******************************

 

Can you take a reaction before your turn?

I had no idea I had to hold up my hand and wait until called before I react. I usually get called to explain the reaction written on my face over some bullshit I just heard at the podium. So, I suppose I take plenty of reactions before my turn. Of course, I have to clean up my opinion concerning my reaction, but I’m used to that.

Is there anything you know you should let go of, but haven't yet?

My ex-wife. She admitted she never loved me after 25 years of marriage. I hated her for everything she did to me and our marriage. I hated myself for my reactions to her. But, after 20-plus years of divorce, I still love her for giving me two great kids who so don’t take after her, and a couple of grandchildren who are terrific. I should let go of her, but what we created together will forever be with me.

Should one embrace volatility coming into their life?

Only if you have to. This is like inviting drama into your life. For what constructive purpose?

Have you ever walked into your kitchen and known something wasn't right? What happened?

All the time and my girlfriend of 20 years still can’t put the cooking utensils back where they belong. I walk into it and immediately know something is amiss. Drives me nuts.

How can an unforgiving person change to become a forgiving person?

Understand that everyone makes mistakes, even you. What you selflessly give will be returned in kind.

“To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.”

-- C.S. Lewis

How do you inform your boss that you don't have work?

“Hey! Boss! I finished all my assignments and don’t have work. Any thoughts?”

What has a teacher said or done that changed your life?

In high school, a liberal, socialist, hippy, English teacher took down the U.S. flag and stomped on it to make some mindless idiotic point. A football player asked her to get off the flag because it didn’t deserve to be disrespected by her. He picked it up and took it to the office. He was applauded by the class which infuriated the teacher. I had to ask myself who I had more respect for, the patriot or the socialist. To this day I have no use for the League of the Perpetually Offended. They perpetually offend me with their actions and mindless banter. I spent 23 years of my life defending my country from socialism and communism.

What do you call an actor with no lines?

An ad-libber.

How would you react if your manager is talking with you about all the important initiatives that you need to drive for the next year a week before you have decided to submit your resignation?

“Well, boss, unless you’re going to give me a significant raise, I was planning on resigning at the end of the week. But, it would seem you value me more than my current paycheck would reflect.” 

What is it called when your manager treats you unfairly?

Unfair treatment. 

“I decry the injustice of my wounds, only to look down and see that I am holding a smoking gun in one hand and a fistful of ammunition in the other.”

-- Craig D. Lounsbrough

How can I identify the psychological tricks my boss is trying on me?

If your boss is stooping to “psychological” trickery, perhaps it’s time to look for other employment with a boss who is a bit more mature and honest with you. If they’re after something they need to ask for it, not play games. It says much about the person they are, and the direction the business might take. A more ethical company might be a better prospect for you.

How can an unforgiving person change to become a forgiving person?

Understand that everyone makes mistakes, even you. What you selflessly give will be returned in kind. 

How accurate are the five stages of grief?

I answered a similar question, asking what about the 5 stages of grief is wrong? My answer is still valid, for me”

“Let's look at the five stages – denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. They seem pretty straightforward if we approach it by qualifying the “five stages” as a general rule, but there are many exceptions.

I didn’t deny my father was dying after his fourth stroke. He had beat the strokes, and death, on more than one occasion, therefore, I wasn’t angry or depressed, but I was acceptant of his time to move on. I prayed for his mother, Mama, to not let him suffer. I didn’t bargain in this, as it was the right thing for her to do. He lived for less than a week. God bless Mama.”

Has society become more and more informal?

Well, in the United States, we have no border, courts don’t prosecute the guilty, we allow crowds to become riots and allow the rioters to burn down cities, police are being assassinated which is cause to defund them for a “gentler” approach (refer back to the court system), yadda, yadda, and yadda. So, yeah, our society, and the government they vote in, has become more informal and idiotic.

Am I sadistic if I only enjoy inflicting physical pain while having sex?

If you “enjoy” inflicting pain at any time, you are sadistic.

“You're about to become the thing you hate. Let the games begin.”

-- Nicholas Bella

What's the best way to approach a celebrity?

From the front.

Is something wrong with me for feeling this guilt and deep heartache about how things ended months later, especially when I wake up? For not being able to let go and move on? I still replay things in my head seeing how they could’ve been fixed.

Nope. Failure is the best way we learn and your guilt is forcing the issue. Find something or someone new to focus on and all will fade into the past. Fade, not disappear. The memory of the past mitigates repeating our mistakes.

Would you like to know you better?

Oh, hell no. I already know myself better than I’d like to. 

When someone asks favors often that cost you time and money, is it ever appropriate to ask for a favor in return before you grant theirs?

No, but you can let them know that you can’t afford them. You don’t have the time or the money to assist them at the moment, and you'll work your way down to their silly-ass problem in due time. Meanwhile, they can try handling it themselves for once. Tell them it’s a concept worth their time looking into.

How do you deal with employees who think they know it all?

Demonstrate that they don’t. There is nothing better than clarity, except teaching clarity.

“You certainly are Lord Know-It-All this evening, aren’t you?”

“Only when necessary. Otherwise, I try not to let my brilliance overshadow my giving and loving nature.”

-- G.A. Aiken

What happens when you don't deal with grief?

If you don’t deal with grief, grief will deal with you. Dealing with grief can be a relatively quick process dealing with acceptance. Grief dealing with you, on the other hand, can be an insidiously long march through an emotional quagmire that will, probably, involve everyone around you, to some degree. 

What happens once you satisfy every need from Maslow's Pyramid?

Retirement. 

If you’re not successful, does that mean you are not smart?

No, it means you made a mistake. Ask yourself why you’re not successful? Find the mistake or bad choice you made and remedy it, then try again. Failure is worthless unless we learn from it and press forward.

Perseverance is the key to attaining any goal, and true success is the ability to be truly happy always and in all things regardless of your circumstances.

How can I build a high level of rapport and trust with prospects?

Be knowledgeable, dress appropriately, and treat them ethically.

Why do some managers always hold on to certain mistakes of their employees and never move on, and never forgive?

They’re bad managers. Managers should be assisting employees in moving forward, not dwelling on their mistakes. They should point out the mistake and have them work to remedy it. Mistakes and failures are the best way we learn, but some managers miss the point. Very sad.

"Your past mistakes are meant to guide you, not define you."

-- Unknown

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com