Questioning Sacrifice, Expectations, Truth, and Respect

 

“I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

-- Winston S. Churchill

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A note to my readers: I'm continuing to update the statistics for those who'd like to follow with me and we'll see where it levels off, which it doesn't seem willing to do.

The following was touted by the site I answer questions on as being "featured" in over 100,000 individual reader digests (as of the previous report it was shared in only 10,000 digests). The answer was posted on March 30, 2022, and, to date, has been viewed by over 252,300 people and upvoted 3,458 times, and counting. I assume because it was "featured" this is a big deal, whatever "featured" means. I will contine to share it for those who haven't read it:

Did you ever get a request for a favor from a neighbor who never showed any respect or interest in you or your family? What did you do? 

The guy next door. He asked if he could cut down a rotting tree the raccoons use. Wanted to bill me $2000 for a $500 job. I told him not to touch it. He cut it down anyway, when I wasn’t around, then billed me $2000. My legal team, lawyers from Louisiana and Mississippi, both advised me to tell him to go f*** himself. You have to love Southern lawyers. I cleaned the language up and sent him a form letter concerning trespass, ignorance, and the fact that he wouldn’t be getting any money out of me. (Last lines have been updated) We don't talk, not because I'm not willing, but because he seems to think he's all that. He flies a Marine Corps flag. So far, I'm not impressed.

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What are some of the benefits of self-sacrifice?

True happiness comes from the knowledge that you have done the right thing for the selfless sake of doing the right thing. Any other benefit would be more self-serving, than selfless.

What would you do if you had the power to manipulate luck?

I would call it the manipulation of life. Luck is what you make of it through choices and decisions. I manipulate luck every day, and usually in a good way.

What is something you are guilty of being bad at?

I am so guilty of being bad at having patience. In particular, I have no patience for drivers who don’t pay attention to their driving, especially the ones who sit at stop signs, texting, oblivious to you waiting behind them.

What does "X walked so Y could run" mean?

A misunderstanding of the algebraic equation?

Are people weird or just different from those who judge them as 'weird'?

Everybody is “weird,” in one way or another, even those who judge others as being weird. Judge not, lest ye be judged. I’m not a big fan of man’s interpretation of scripture, but, occasionally, solid truth wins out.

“Some are born weird, some achieve it, others have weirdness thrust upon them.”

-- Dick Francis

What was the first monthly income amount that made you feel very accomplished and like a hard worker?

I think it was, like, $90. It wasn’t much, but I was in Air Force basic training in 1973, as an E-1. We were really being paid to learn the military way.

What does a 4-year-old do better than a 40-year-old?

Play.

I come from a poor environment but hung out with settled or rich people. I made a decision for my life based on rich expectations but I failed. I am kind of lost. What should I do?

Try deciding to work your ass off without expectations. You can’t hang out with rich people, learning how they made their riches, but they are not you. You have to find your own way, your own path, and follow it. Failure is the best way we learn, so learn, and go back to try again, and again, until you get it right.

What makes you not want to help your coworkers?

When the coworkers slack off and think you’ll do their job for them. We all pitch in or someone burns, and I have no problem setting the workforce on fire. Loyalty is a two-way street.

What are signs that someone has completely failed in life and is at the point where there is little chance it can be turned around?

For me, it would be homelessness. In my role as a pastor, I helped feed the homeless with a private group in Olympia, Washington. Most of the homeless were satisfied with their lot. Some were trying to get a leg up. Talking to them, those who were satisfied had given up. For them, it is what it is. Oh, I’m sure the League of the Perpetually Offended will come down on me like a ton of shit, but you had to listen to these homeless folks, their stories, their expectations, to really get a feeling for what you never wanted to experience. This, for them, was life, and failing at this life would really suck.

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.”

-- Winston S. Churchill

How would you define a value worth fighting for?

God, country, mom, and apple pie. Patriotism is worth fighting for because it holds the most intrinsic value in life.

Should I say sorry if I’m a boring person to know?

Why would you be sorry for who you are? If you wanted to be someone else you’d have done some self-introspection and worked on whatever makes you boring. One assumes you are okay with it, so, again, why apologize?

When did you realize you are not anybody’s favorite person?

Wha... What? You mean, I’m not? Holy crap!

Is looking up to a person for their individualities the same thing as having a crush on them?

I look up to many people I don’t have a crush on. I simply respect them for their opinions, beliefs, or sense of ethics.

Can financial freedom be achieved while humans have a difficult nature to be satisfied?

If they’re trying to satisfy their “difficult nature,” the greed will win out. Financial freedom and greed are strange bedfellows.

“As a woman, you are better off in life earning your own money. You couldn't prevent your husband from leaving you or taking another wife, but you could have some of your dignity if you didn't have to beg him for financial support.”

-- Ayaan Hirsi Ali

How do I give up on women? I have already accepted the fact that no woman will ever like me and I am not changing my mind.

If you’re not changing your mind, Eureka! You have given up on women.

Fact and truth, which is upheld in life?

If a fact is a lie, it really isn’t a fact. It may be the fact as we understand it, but that doesn’t make it the truth. A fact is “a thing that is known or proved to be true.” So, don’t believe facts that are not known to be true, and uphold both in life.

Is it weird that I am more attracted to older men than younger men?

No. They are more set in their ways and tend not to wander. They also are more appreciative and tend to show it.

How can I be a nice and respectful guy but also confident and sexual with women at the same time?

One has nothing to do with the other. You can be nice and respectful, and, if the woman is in agreement, you can show your confident and sexual side. I suppose you could say your question answers itself. If you want to be confident and sexual with women, try being nice and respectful. But, be nice and respectful anyway. It’s simply good manners.

Is it possible to find a girlfriend if you're not the most physically attractive?

Many unattractive people do. Personality has much to do with attraction.

“Have you ever been tempted to adjust your appearance, your attitude, or the way you behave in an attempt to fit in with someone? You may think you admire this person, and that's the reason you are considering alterations that are very unusual for you. But could it be, that you actually fear this person? Not in the physical sense - but perhaps you fear that this person won't have a high opinion of you if you behave like... well, like yourself? If so, take back your identity. Be proud of who you are, and don't let anyone intimidate you.”

-- Nitya Prakash

Is it normal to seek praise for doing something nice for someone else?

If that’s why you’re doing it, but it crosses the line into selfishness. Do something nice because it’s a nice thing to do. They may not praise you, but they know. Praise just may not be who they are.

What is an example of how can jealousy and envy be the same or not?

Jealousy is the showing of envy.

Is it right for someone to say to another person, "I am the best thing that will happen to you"?

Talk about an “in your face” slam. That egotistical ass is the best you’ll ever do? I would bank on the fact that you can lower the bar and still do better than them.

If consciousness is a dream, then how is anything truly real?

Good question, so let’s assume the person who said it is bonkers. But, even if they’re right, what you experience in the dream is as real as the dream. Therefore, what we experience as reality in a dream is different than what is imagined, even in dreams.

What happens when a narcissist is faced with reality?

Denial.

“The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears.”

-- Erich Fromm

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com