My Sunday Thought for 080518: Raging Against the Dying of the Light

"Do not go gentle into that good night,

Old age should burn and rave at close of day;

Rage, rage against the dying of the light."

-- Dylan Thomas (1914-1953), poet

That I should sit still and accept what end awaits me, is to give up at the very time when one has accumulated so much which needs to be shared or, perhaps, it is simply evidence, an admission or perception, of time wasted; at the very least, misunderstood.  No, I cannot sit idle; I will not wait, like so much wheat in a field, for the coming of the reaper.  Life is still too rich, the soil too fertile, to go silently from this existence into the next.

When the end of this existence is truly at hand I will, in all probability, have failed to learn control over the final disintegration of my physical being, the shutting down of this mortal shell.  Time has no meaning, however, and I will not be deprived of savoring every moment, good or bad.  When the moment comes, only then will I willingly re-board the boat for my next port of call on my journey to infinity, having milked this current stop for all the experiences I wish of it.

I willingly move forward with unyielding faith that I will learn to control the corruption of whatever physical form I will take in future, mastering the ability to determine, for myself, when I shall leave an existence.  We leave, all too often, before we have completed labors of love to some point where others can accept the responsibility to move the project forward, or find peace in resolution.

“Whatever condition we are in, we must always do what we want to do, and if we want to go on a journey, then we must do so and not worry about our condition, even if it's the worst possible condition, because, if it is, we're finished anyway, whether we go on the journey or not, and it's better to die having made the journey we're been longing for than to be stifled by our longing.”

-- Thomas Bernhard (1931-1989), novelist, playwright, poet

It is my fondest hope, many years from now, to pull a "Mellon" on someone. Richard Mellon was the multimillionaire President of Alcoa who had a 70 year running game of "tag" with his bother Andrew.  On his deathbed he motioned for his brother to come close, at which time he touched him and whispered "Last tag!" as he passed on.  How much fun is that! Poor Andrew must've had a good laugh when he, himself, died and was able to see his brother again. Imagine the look on Richard's face, in the afterlife, when he feels someone touch him from behind and yell, "Tag, you're it!"   I can hear his startled exclamation, "Oh, crap!"  And, the game continues.

I will be no friend of death; I will not welcome it into my house.  Nor will I, when the moment has revealed itself for me to take my final bow, deny my fate.  Thus, having admitted such fate is inevitable; we must try our hardest to ensure the universe knows we have fought tooth and nail to prolong said fate to that inevitable end.  When this time arises I will relent and go willingly with the unyielding faith that it marks only the end of a physical shell enabling me to walk upon this rock and experience all of God's wonders.  Life itself will continue unto forever.

“The world is so exquisite with so much love and moral depth, that there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence. Far better it seems to me, in our vulnerability, is to look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides.”

-- Carl Sagan (1934-1996), astrophysicist, astrobiologist, cosmologist 

Carl Sagan offered that "there is no reason to deceive ourselves with pretty stories for which there's little good evidence."  His statement denies a higher power in the universe.  It denies a faith in such a power to see him through his cancer.  Would such faith have provided him evidence, or would it simply have been man's intervention through medicine?  But, even the intelligence to cure is denied as a gift of the Almighty by those who would demand proof from the faithful.  Perhaps the gift of his proof had to be presented in person.  Happy birthday, Carl!

If we believe people of spiritual faith deceive themselves, so too are the atheists who have no spiritual faith.  For neither can provide proof one way or the other.  If one looks for a silver lining in atheism they will find nothing.  But, if you look for the silver lining in the "pretty stories" of faith, you may find another universe awaits you in this world and, perhaps, in the next.

It is not death that a man should fear, but he should fear never beginning to live.

-- Marcus Aurelius (121-180), Roman emperor

Even for those who feel life has dealt poor cards, through faith they can still find reason to rise above.  Why does the end of one's mortal shell have to be the end of consciousness?  If we sleep, do we not dream?  And, for some, we may dream of lives which make no sense to our current reality.  Past lives, perhaps?  I would certainly hope so, as this would provide a proof of possible things to come.  Why not, then, end misery early to speed up our journey forward?  Because, little would be learned from your journey except, perhaps, that your detour was a loop which simply brought you back to where you were.  If both options require death, why not stay the course and work for more favorable outcomes? 

“I have wanted to kill myself a hundred times, but somehow I am still in love with life. This ridiculous weakness is perhaps one of our more stupid melancholy propensities, for is there anything more stupid than to be eager to go on carrying a burden which one would gladly throw away, to loathe one’s very being and yet to hold it fast, to fondle the snake that devours us until it has eaten our hearts away?”

-- Voltaire (1694-1778) writer, historian, philosopher

Carl Sagan also offers that we should "look death in the eye and to be grateful every day for the brief but magnificent opportunity that life provides."  I have a better idea, how about we ignore death, until we can ignore it no longer, and pad our bet by having faith in an afterlife.  Yes, Carl, I'm saying we shouldn't listen to a physicist who offered no proof that a God doesn't exist because there is no proof that he does.  I think we should have faith in life, not death.  It detracts nothing from us to have faith.  Faith gives us hope and, at time, hope is all that sustains most of us.  If you know you're going to die a disbeliever, how much you would have missed if you are wrong.  If you going to die and you're a believer, if there is no afterlife you won't care, you'll be dead!  As for me, I would rather have a modicum of faith than to risk having none at all.

I will look death in the eye, and I will smile when it blinks.  When I am ready to leave this existence Death will be the first to know, but until that moment comes I shall continue to examine philosophies concerning life after death.  There is much to be learned from all major religious philosophies about an afterlife, and not necessarily about a heaven or hell.  I find it interesting that anyone can believe life simply ends.  We have thousands of years of anecdotal evidence concerning life after death, alternate universes, and such.  Show me the contrary anecdotal evidence that this is wrong.  An ultimate power in the universe is not a new concept, and the creation of man by an ultimate power is a story not only found in scriptural Genesis.

While I thought that I was learning how to live, I have been learning how to die.

-- Leonardo da Vinci (1452-1519), inventor, painter, sculptor

We spend our time on this physical plane learning lessons about life.  We learn these lessons to expand our awareness of reality, and we expand this awareness for a reason.  If we learn our lessons well, we will ultimately realize an understanding of death; that death is simply and end of our physical moment on the plane.  Hopefully, we will learn the faith required to move from this plane into the next, and the next, and so on.

There is a reason for a lack of evidence for or against the existence of a deity or the afterlife.  This is the stuff of faith, and it is this faith which is at the heart of our reality.  It is also at the heart of our graduation into the next existence.  As for my personal belief, my unyielding personal faith in something for which there is little or no proof, I will continue to keep an open and active mind to those mysteries of the universe.  I will continue to listen, read, discuss, and debate, for each and every moment I can milk from this existence.

I will rage against the dying of the light!

I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.

-- Robert Fulghum, author, minister

"Follow Me" at https://congregationforreligioustolerance.blogspot.com/

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

My Sunday Thought for 072918: Even a Worm Will Turn

“We wander in our thousands over the face of the earth, the illustrious and the obscure, earning beyond the seas our fame, our money, or only a crust of bread; but it seems to me that, for each of us, going home must be like going to render an account. We return to face our superiors, our kindred, our friends--those whom we obey, and those whom we love; but even they who have neither, the most free, lonely, irresponsible and bereft of ties,--even those for whom home holds no dear face, no familiar voice,--even they have to meet the spirit that dwells within the land, under its sky, in its air, in its valleys, and on its rises, in its fields, in its waters and its trees--a mute friend, judge, and inspirer.”

-- Joseph Conrad(1857-1924), novelist, "Lord Jim"

Note to the reader:  I never post things concerning others without clearing it with the subject first, unless the others are simply acting like poorly.  In this case, I had to clear it with my daughter as a bit of it deals with her personal emotions, our earlier relationship, and such else.  She gave her approval because, in her words, "I think it’s all things I already knew, but other people might need to hear the message."  I do so hope she is right.

*************************************

My daughter was approaching 30 when she sent me a page long, typewritten letter as explanation of who she was and why she felt the way she did about the judgement of family, people around her, and things happening, or not, in her life.  It was a letter I didn't need to read, but one she felt had to be sent.  It discussed so much of what I already knew she had to vocalize in order to move forward.  You can only hold so much inside.  I knew all of her emotion because I had lived it, and then some.  If this post is to be seen as anything other than my usual weekly rambling for "My Sunday Thought," it might be viewed as the long overdue answer to my daughter's letter, and my apology for not being there to warn and mentor her.

Bullying isn't just a peer group issue.  It can sometimes appear in the form of perceived unreasonable job related or parental expectations and neglect, as well as physical or mental abuse, and the parent or system which turns a blind eye to the bullying occurring around them.  Our perception of something doesn't make it real, but if we perceive it as being so that is enough for those experiencing it.  Bullying can also appear in the form of "privilege" in a case where parents dote way too much on spoiled brats who are sorely in need of a reality call.  Enabling is as cruel as bullying, in my view, and many bullies are simply children who have been cruelly enabled to believe what they do is acceptable by some twisted societal standards.

When you're quirky and the smallest kid, your classmates can be the things of nightmares.  They are the bullies, the girls who won't talk to you and the multitude of others who ignore you.  You're not the last to be picked for sports; you're never picked for sports.  Your nemesis is the persona of a coach who schemes to keep you off his football team, and not because you aren't the fastest or most agile, and certainly because you can't take a beating.  It isn't that you aren't a winner, and it isn't that you aren't faster than the bullies who would beat you up; it's just that you're never given a chance to show your potential or have your potential groomed.  Crying alone becomes a skill set at which you are very efficient.  You see your classmates as the bane of your existence and, for some kids, a reason not to live.

I was the weakling, the kid with thick glasses, awkward, shy, and I had severe stage fright for which I teased - I froze when up in front of class.  Most of the kids who looked like me at least had some brains, some higher intelligence, which made up for quite a bit of their physical shortcomings.  Not everyone who ignored me was a bully, but it makes you wonder if they knew what was going on around them, if they said anything, or if they cared.  I would like to think they did.

I wasn't intelligent; I struggled in school since, well, what was the point?  But, I was soon to discover who and what I truly was.  I would discover an untapped potential, and I would find that intelligence was to play second fiddle to the smarts I was learning from all of this experience being visited upon me by people, coaches, teachers, and classmates, who sold me short.  I would discover, however, they were, in fact, doing more for me and who I would become, than I had dared imagine.

The change for me happened one afternoon, I think I was a junior in high school; I was walking through the woods with one of my two friends and an acquaintance of his.  I'm not sure why my friend liked this clown, other than he lived a few house down.  Friendship by proximity, I suppose.  The guy was an ass who took every opportunity to get under my skin by constantly finding fault with me.  This was the day I had a mild psychotic break, oh hell, this was the day I snapped.

This day, his string of personal assault was met with a baseball bat sized  tree branch with which I fully intended on beating him to death.  Luckily my good friend was twice my size and pulled me off of him before I did any severe damage. I guess you could say that was my first "Aha!" moment, that instant I went from victim to non-victim and immediately realized my "go to" protector in high school, the giant huggy-bear Dennis (may he rest in peace), wouldn't have to protect me anymore.

In fact, I started placing myself between other helpless victims and their antagonist so much the occasional beatings were hurting less and I was learning a psychological tact of embarrassing the bullies in front of their girlfriends, which didn't lessen the pain but did make it bearable.  I would ask if he really thought beating someone smaller made others see him as a man, and then I would tell the girl that, if this piece of crap was the best she could do, she doesn't set her bar very high considering how pretty she was.  This was the double zinger of attacking his machismo while also hitting on a girl of which I stood no chance in hell.  But, she knew I didn't have to take this beating, and he knew she knew it wasn't my fight, but I had made it my fight.  You could tell by the look on her face that she was re-evaluating the self-defining putz she was with.  I thought the beatings would increase, since I was volunteering to take an ass whipping for others, but the guys started walking away in order to save face.  Here, I figured we were both learning a lesson:  Pride is as elusive for some as humility is for others.

Now, don't get me wrong, not all of my classmates were bullies.  The problem with fear is that you build walls that don't differentiate between friend and foe.  With the enemy constantly at the gates, best to just lock everybody out, unless it's an emergency, like a potential butt whipping.  I look back on those few, however, and all I can remember are their faces glancing around like wound springs.  Was it to be the trashcan on the "senior lawn" or pants run up the flagpole?  I always thought I was too small to fit in a locker; luckily, I never found out.

To my way of thinking, what most students, myself included, seemed to forget is the reason why we were in school?  We were there to learn, not to socialize.  We were there for an education, not to be accepted or tolerated by others, and certainly not to pass judgment on the weak or the helpless.  Our agenda was supposed to be going to class and studying.  If your agenda is judging others, or worrying about how anyone, except the instructors, judges you, you have totally missed the point.  And I really never grasped the whole mopping the halls with testosterone, making it with the varsity football team, or being crowned prom queen.  Well, not until I took a course in the psychology of abnormal behavior.  Ever read "The 120 Days of Sodom" by the Marquis de Sade?  Neither have I, though I understand it is quite illuminating.

We all make up for our shortcomings in different ways, and we make others suffer for our emotional issues in a fruitless attempt to transfer them, which really doesn't work, anyway.  That doesn't work, though.  Other people are in misery and all you do is compound your deep seeded issues for later.  But, I digress, yet again...

It didn't matter that I studied high school college prep courses but couldn't grasp the subject matter; it did matter that I applied myself, even to no avail.  And it wasn't about a lack of intelligence as much as it was studying the wrong subjects.  They really didn't interest me.  You can have issues grasping the most basic of knowledge and still be a wiz when it comes to physics or math.  To this day I know some very stupid intelligent people, some with multiple degrees from those "institutions of higher education."  

Anyway, I soon graduated from high school, basically because God blinked.  I'm still not sure how I managed that little feat, but my grade point average squeaked by and I found myself in college as a psychology major with a 3.2 grade average by the end of the first semester.  I wasn't being bullied, I wasn't cracking a book to study, I was meeting girls, and it seemed I was finally hitting my stride.  I was looking forward to entering Stanford with professor recommendations.  And then, God started paying attention again; I was number 9 on the military draft lottery for that little unpleasantness across the pond in Vietnam.  I hit basic training at Lackland, in San Antonio, just a couple of weeks before they ended the draft.  Yes, ending the draft after I joined up was God having a bit of humor at my expense, yet again, and it would be the best 22 years of my life.

Basic training was just an exercise in basic psychology foisted upon the recruits by what I saw as bullies with stripes and permissions.  This was a no brainer for me, however, as I psyched the hell out it.  Basic training is simply a game at which you have to win or draw, not lose.  It isn't difficult to draw, you simply have to learn and follow the rules.  I saw the rules and regulations, more as "guidelines" setup to see if you are good enough to follow the rules, or good enough to interpret the rules, good enough to win.  The difference between a draw and a win is a recruit's ability to walk the fine line of understanding the unspoken interpretations.   When the mission is everything and time is of the essence, regulations be damned, you have to ignore dissecting the minutia, consider the big picture, and make a decision.  Ignoring minutia required that you actually knew the rules and regs.  When the dust cleared, my two years of psychology landed me a job in Air Force Intelligence.  I never looked back.  

The Intelligence field taught me public speaking and briefing skills, debriefing and interrogation.  I learned how to train the untrainable and how to become a good leader.  And, I learned judo and how to shoot and kill.  The ability to kill was no longer a question in my mind, and neither was torture.  We would devise torture in our spare time at the office; a blackboard and chalk can be the devil's playground for the sadistic.  Yes, we were a twisted bunch but, then, you had to be.

Going through training, I found my "legally blind" eyesight was no barrier to me qualifying with various firearms.  I discovered a preference for knives over guns, and I've always been concerned with what that preference for razor sharp pointy things said about me.  It concerned me more than a possibility of having to torture someone.  I supposed that's where the knife would come in; up close, personal.

I also learned about survival and evasion, and I learned resistance, if captured.  I learned how to screw with people's heads (and again, for me, not a big stretch).  I went from planning bombing missions for fighters to nuclear planning for bombers, with a smattering of unmentionables in between, and learned that it isn't so much about the Top Secret clearance you have as it is all of the caveats which follow and define it.  And, as a side note, If you don't think planning the possible nuclear destruction of millions of innocent women and children, whom you affectionately refer to as "collateral damage," won't give you a mild, yet insidious, case of PTSD, well, think again.

From the moment I made NCO I was annually put in for the SAC Intelligence NCO of the Year Award, and I always came in second.  I finally found out, from a friend at HQ SAC, you had to be political, to pucker up a juicy wet one, and kiss some serious butt in order to win.  I don't kiss butt.  If I deserve a kudo for being good at what I do, just tell me I did good.  I requested they stop putting me in for the award.

Prior to my retirement my unit was asked to assist proving low-level conventional bombing capabilities for the B-52, moving it from a high altitude and nuclear platform into a new role in order to save in from being mothballed.  We succeeded and I was offered either Air Force One or Area 51, as an award for a job well done.  I turned them both down.  I had done my job, enough said.  But, sometimes the really good are pre-positioned just in case the shit hits the fan.  As my award I was sent to create a one-man Intelligence shop at a joint base in Sicily.  I would soon discover I'd been setup, yet again, this time to be the enroute stop for Intelligence updates and initial debriefings for aircrews flying aircraft downrange to the Middle East in support of Operation(s) Desert Shield and Desert Storm. 

I one of the best at what you do is draining if you do it for too long, and after 22 years of focus, I'd had enough.  I was burned out.  I retired as a Master Sergeant with two kids and a marriage that was in tatters.  The marriage eventually dissolved and, for all the misplaced blame, I had to own the lion's share.  My life had become the job at which I had proved to be so very adept.  My family had suffered for it and that was all on me.  I had become all I could be and, in the end, I found myself wanting.

“He no longer loves the person whom he loved ten years ago. I quite believe it. She is no longer the same, nor is he. He was young, and she also; she is quite different. He would perhaps love her yet, if she were what she was then.”

-- Blaise Pascal (1623-1662), theologian, mathematician, physicist

I speak of all this to put what would come next into some context.

One year after the divorce was my 30 year class reunion. I didn't even consider it. By this time I admitted I really had nothing in common with any classmates, other than I was also still alive. I cancelled the alumni newsletter because it seemed more of a periodic obituary, constantly reminding me of the fragility of life, than anything of real interest for me. The fragility of life is what nuclear deterrence evidenced for me.  I didn't know my classmates anymore than I knew the enemy to be bombed.  I might recognize a face, but even most of the names were unfamiliar to me. Maybe my attitude was being driven by years of worrying about things of so much more importance, like life and death.

“Social media is like reunion, but the catching up is done through the comfort of your own bed. Scrolling through photos and statuses are too easy to not be done. You know about their social life and where they’ve been last weekend. Then you wonder why they have such flawless hair and makeup. How could they look so effortlessly awesome?”

-- Marcella Purnama, writer

Needless to say, I don't go to class reunions. I went to one early on, and remembered why I didn't want to go - even several years after graduation, I really I didn't remember anybody, even though someone thought we should wear name tags just to drive that obvious point home, and as for those I did remember, I still had little in common with. These were all strangers who rarely, if ever, noticed me, sat with me at lunch, or gave me the time of day.  My few friends were usually seen together; safety in numbers?

Back then, I suppose even the victims considered bullying as something to be dealt with, more as a rite of passage, at least that's what dads would tell sons; you had to learn to fight, or learn to deal with it and remain silent.  I always wondered who the real cowards were, dads who didn't have the balls to confront the parents of a bully, the bully proving to his peers just how stupid and thoughtless he is, or the victim hiding in the restroom stall.

In the news you would hear of a few kids committing suicide.  I'm not sure if bullying was ever mentioned as a cause or just silently assumed.  At that time in our history it might have been the "sin" of youthful homosexuality and the requisite bullying of the effeminate individual they knew wouldn't, or couldn't, fight back.  To this day I don't understand how intelligent people think a child would willingly choose to be something which they know for a fact will visit upon them beatings and relentless bullying.  Good sense should have hypothesized it really isn't a choice for those so young.

Regardless, though, I remember viewing bullying as a proof to saying, "survival of the fittest."  How wrong was that?  A good question, perhaps answered when one considers we have been raising our children in a "kinder, gentler environment" thanks to Dr. Benjamin Spock.  Since the mid-1950's the suicide rate among young adults has tripled, and is still rapidly growing.  Gee, let's see, I'm going out on a limb here and sacrificing intelligence for a bit of good sense:  Dr. Spock's theory of gentler child rearing, sparing the rod, came out around the mid-1950s.  Imagine that?  It would seem to be the same time suicides in young people started go on the rise.  We are, in reality, loving our children to death, and denying it.  We are sparing the rod and killing the child.  Bravo!

I am sure 2021 will usher in my 68th birthday as well as the 50 year reunion for my Class of 1971.  At my age it will offer another narrowing opportunity to revisit a part of my life for which memories hold little value.  The thought of going to this stressful waste of time flashed across my mind as I was doing my tri-weekly 45 minutes on the treadmill and weight machines.  At 65 I am diligently exercising and down to 172 pounds.  I have a BP of 132/80, and feel like I'm 40.  I have two semi-auto weapons, a shotgun, a butt load of knives, and still have no desire to mix with people from 54 years ago whom I never really knew and, still to this day, have little to nothing in common with.  I think my worst fear, graduating in a little town an hour south of San Francisco, would be finding myself as the only conservative in a room of liberals full of alcohol.  Well, let's see, California... pass me a "fat boy" and I'll be just fine.

The military showed me friends are those who have your back in a fight, comrades in arms you would gladly follow into battle and die for, or send into battle and grieve for.   Who would have thought a helpless "victim" would take back control and be given a chance do all of this?

I'm no longer the smallest or the weakest, and I have come to understand that I never was. Victims are usually better than those who treat them badly or ignore them, and if these folks say they didn't realize they were doing it, my point is sadly made. Whether the protagonist is consciously aware of what they're doing, is of little matter to the "victim" of their ignorance, non-acceptance, and/or abuse. Unfortunately, there will always be "clicks" and there will always be those who are, or feel, excluded.

It is an insidious part of growing up, and the painful lesson to be learned by the shunned few is, we are victims because we choose to be victims. You've only lost the fight when you give up. Never give up and never surrender, but you can strategically retreat to regroup and live to fight another day.  There is no such thing as failure unless you choose to fail.  From the Tao Te Ching: 

Nothing is weaker than water,

But when it attacks something hard

Or resistant, then nothing withstands it,

And nothing will alter its way.

As the lead chaplain for a regional medical center, I have the opportunity to weekly address people suffering with PTSD, abuse, and addiction.  My message to them is about why they chose to be there, and about having faith in themselves to rise above consequences in their lives.  There is no assigning blame to others, and there is certainly no going backward.  We make a choice, and we can choose to either live with the consequences or rise above them.  The blame for our poor decisions, if blame is to be assigned, is ours and ours alone; we must own the choices we make, embrace the consequences, learn from them, and boldly take another step forward.  Apply, review, learn, adjust, repeat; there is no failure.  Each adjustment brings us closer to success.  Master Yoda would say, there is no try, there is only do or do not.  We are, all of us, in a constant state of adjustment until we succeed.  We always need to have faith in ourselves that we will, sooner or later succeed, as long as we never give up.  This is our test.  

Each and every day is a new day in paradise and another day to excel in life.  What you want to become is entirely in your hands, no one else's.  There will always be those who will try to hold you back, and these folks must discover for themselves who they are.  These folks must discover they are truly smaller than their victims before they can ever rise above what they are and move forward into the light to become more than what they were.

“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.”

-- Maya Angelou (1928-2014), poet, activist

Am I bitter about my childhood and bullies?  Oh, hell no.  Did you read all I've accomplished?  The people in my life, good, bad, and indifferent, were the impetus behind a great military career, and the career which would follow with the world renowned Western Institutional Review Board.  All of these people are a great part of why I follow my path.  For some I am a spiritual mentor, a chaplain, and a person of faith.  I have no bitterness for the "gifts" people have bestowed upon me.  Everybody has purpose for their existence, and I think I have accomplished mine, up to this point, with few regrets.  I could not have done that if I had not been through everything I have; my childhood and youth set me up for what was to come.  My children made me, eventually, grow up.  My failed marriage taught me forgiveness.  And, through all of this, I made a difference in the world, which I might not have been able to do otherwise.  No, there is certainly no bitterness.

To victims of bullying I can only offer this:  You are more than you have been led to believe; you have more ability and more potential than fully half of those who would hold you back.  You have this because of what you've been through, not in spite of it.  It is the answer to why; why you are, why you exist.  Do not be perpetually offended by those who wrong you, for they may not be smart enough to realize what they do, much less why, and they certainly do not realize, again, who you are or why you are.  You need to move passed their actions, forgive and rise above their attitude, for their judgement is not your purview and you have so much more to pay attention to than the shortcomings of those people who, if they even acknowledge you live, dare to always judge and find fault.

“You are not a victim. No matter what you have been through, you're still here. You may have been challenged, hurt, betrayed, beaten, and discouraged, but nothing has defeated you. You are still here! You have been delayed but not denied. You are not a victim, you are a victor. You have a history of victory.”

-- Steve Maraboli, speaker, author, behavioral scientist

As for those very intelligent people or the "girl most likely to," the valedictorians, the entire varsity football team, and those members of the student council, kudos to them for packing so much into such a short time.  For all of us who aren't, or weren't, don't stress too much over it.  If you're still in touch with your old classmates, great!  If you aren't, then they really didn't matter that much to you anyway, and if it didn't then, why should it now?  Why someone is not in your life should be of less concern to you than to them.  If you can look in the mirror and know who you are, own your life, and still be able to smile in the knowledge you have done right each and every day by those around you, what others feel about you is so very inconsequential to why you exist.

If intelligence doesn't seem to be your forte and you find yourself struggling in school, I would be more concerned about how smart you are.  If you are smart and also intelligent - that is simply icing on the cake; learn the difference.  Be able to differentiate between right and wrong, good and bad, innocent and guilty.  Believe nothing that is written or said unless you thoroughly vett the information.  Know the yin and yang of reality and you will find some measurement of wisdom.  Concern yourself with accepting others, being tolerant, and reasonable.  Be more concerned with who you are, and especially why you are.  God does not make mistakes, so understand that you "are" for a damned good reason.  You are important and necessary, and you have a path to walk.  Live for today, for the moment, because this moment is all we truly have.  And discover your path, for each of us has our own path to walk and only you can walk yours.

“You might be poor, your shoes might be broken, but your mind is a palace.”

-- Frank McCourt (1930-2009), teacher, writer

You will eventually discover your purpose, that activity at which you excel and enjoy.  When you do, be the best you can at whatever that is, even if it's sweeping the streets or washing windows.  My advice for after you graduate - don't stay.  Move away, travel, and experience the world.  Learn about other cultures, meet other people in their own countries, and learn to communicate even if you don't know the language.  In this, you might just forget everything negative that went before.  If you embrace this, you may find that your now is so much more enriching than your past. 

The image I used, at the beginning of this post, to depict the demons which haunted my youthful dreams, show the demons looking up toward the observer.  And this is where all our demons should remain - looking up to us, just out of reach, unless, of course, they wish to take a "social risk" and accept us.  How nice would that be?  What great stuff it would say about them if they were to take the risk and step away from their "perceived" station to realize we are all the same, yet different.

“A good head and good heart are always a formidable combination. But when you add to that a literate tongue or pen, then you have something very special.”

-- Nelson Mandela (1918-2013), revolutionary, political leader

Spend your now enjoying the journey along your path, following your path into each new day, living for the moment.  Be the evidence, to anyone who cares, that you are more than the victim you once chose to be.  You will find that many in your universe will discover their own unique capability and capacity for love and understanding.

Author Joseph Conrad wrote, "...even those for whom home holds no dear face, no familiar voice,--even they have to meet the spirit that dwells within the land, under its sky, in its air, in its valleys, and on its rises, in its fields, in its waters and its trees--a mute friend, judge, and inspirer.”  And, once you have met this "spirit" you must let it go lest it corrupt your soul or become your crutch.  I firmly believe you cannot go home again.  Things change, people change, and if you've grown beyond, as many do, going back can be a painful reminder of that growth.  And, if you never threw caution to the wind, what growth has truly occurred?  What remains, for those who left, other than the only constant in the universe?

If it is really true that beings go home to die, then strive for more.  If you must strive for something, strive to be a light for others to follow, a voice of tolerance and reason, for others to hear.  Mother Teresa, Saint Teresa of Calcutta, once wrote, “Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”  Well, if not today, when?

Let us begin!

"To whom do lions cast their gentle looks? Not to the beast that would usurp their den. The smallest worm will turn being trodden on, And doves will peck in safeguard of their brood."

-- William Shakespeare (1564-1616), "Henry VI"

"Follow Me" at https://congregationforreligioustolerance.blogspot.com/

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

Well, Bless Your Heart

Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit! There are many sayings which can be attributed to the rich Southern heritage of our country, yet none as recognizable as, "Well, bless your heart!" This one genteel sentence, uttered at the end of an otherwise, rash, thoughtless, or derogatory statement, which can negate any negativity intoned in said statement while keeping the truth alive.

I'm a native "Son of the South," born in Biloxi, Mississippi at the Keesler AFB hospital.  At one year of age I was kidnapped by my parents for a sixty year forced education in the "real" world.  So, in reality, I have only lived in the South for five years and have no little real knowledge of what I speak when it comes to Southern culture, other than what my Southern mother brought to the table for me.  I have jumped into the culture with both feet, keeping my eyes as wide open as my mind, and asking questions of everyone, especially those around my age and older.  So, understand that the following is simply my observations which could be so far out in left field as to no longer be considered part of the ball game.  But, with this in mind...

The double negative as stated in the opening image (above) is when she already covered her thought, for most southerners paying attention, as she said, "Well bless your heart."   She need not have clarified the statement with, "You know, back in the day we used to call people like you 'touched in the head',"  because, depending on the inflection of the voice, this simple statement, on its own, can speak volumes to those folks in the know.  

For instance, referring to the first example below, when you say, "Well, bless your heart!" it need not be clarified by "What a sweet baby!" as your inflection and expression might have already transmitted your true feeling that the "Kid looks like south end of a pig headin' north."  The implied kindness of following up with "What a sweet baby!" is often simply a generously cordial politeness, a warm fuzzy with which to stroke the receiving party and make them feel better about some negative which has been noticed.  Unfortunately, this "negative" is usually a consequence of their own making, like the baby.  So, let's begin:

Well, bless your heart!

• "What a sweet baby!" (Kid looks like south end of a pig headin' north."
• "You are wounded!" (Shot yourself again, did ya?)
• "That step is a bit high." (And you are seriously lacking any grace.)
• "Do you require some help?" (You didn't think this through at all, did ya?)
• "What happened to your eye?" (You playing catch with Billy Bob's fist, again?)
• "Let mama kiss it." (She probably kissed it before she said this, and in front of your friends just to teach you humility.  It is what mamas do.)
• "Is that supposed to be upside down?" (The Lord forgot to give you brains, huh?)
• "Are you confused?"  (You look like a pig starin' at a wristwatch.)
• "That outfit looks... just fine."  (You are proof that a potato sack on a model is still a potato sack, or... those pants don't make your ass look any bigger.)
• "You've cut yourself!"  (You're not as sharp as the knife, are ya?)
• "Aren't you just the sweetest thing?" (Okay, this is either a "thank you" or a "what were you thinking giving candy to a fat woman" response.)

Down at the fishing pier I'm usually met with, "Well bless your heart!  That's a mighty fine catch!"  Unfortunately fishermen can't bullshit fishermen, we can only try not to offend.  What they're really saying is, "Nothin' bigger biting today, huh?"

Ya'll might wanna watch out for ""Well, bless your little pea-pickin heart!" This is a case of being mildly derogative while, hopefully, voicing a heartfelt show of concern; a "pea-picker" being a derogatory reference to a poor migrant laborer in depression era America.

"Well, bless your heart!"  It can reflect a one person's true concern toward another, and it can do so while also quietly passing judgement or being rudely derogatory, or both.  It seems to be a Southern thing, this way of being blatantly honest while back-dooring one's true meaning, and doing so while allowing the speaker to remain the outward epitome of Southern polite grace and culture by showing others a modicum of respect by not directly speaking your mind, yet getting the point across to those who understand.

The South refers to the Civil War, the War Between the States, as that "little unpleasantness" which only the North seems unable to put behind them.  Like true members of the League of the Perpetually Offended, the North will continue to whine, complain, and try to rewrite history until they crush the spirit of the South and foist upon them the new racism and divisiveness of the North.

The South has always offered a lifestyle so much more laid-back than the North, probably one of the reasons why Northerners always came, and still come, south for the winter.  The North always questions the intelligence of the South, but this is simply jealousy of Southerners being smarter, as the North knows in their heart those po' folk almost won that "little unpleasantness" against the richer, better armed, and more numerous "blue bellies."  Does this mean that Southerners are not, also, intelligent?  Absolutely not, but Southern intelligence does not make them forget the good sense which makes them smart.  One must always remember from whence you came, and who you are.  Intelligence without smarts is having an idea and not understanding why.  It can make you sound as confused as a fart in a fan factory, or like Congress.

Whereas the South has embraced equality, the North continues to fight a long forgotten battle by punishing the South with a history which lacks the needed substance of truth.  The reasoning for this is their knowledge that truth will always win out, and this is frightening to a country which constantly pits brother against brother in a silent one-sided battle for control of minds.  When truth becomes what you make of it, when you have become ideologically worse than that against which you fought, you have lost.

Bless their hearts; the North will continue touting their intelligence while acting like a sack of rocks to those with more good sense.  It is, after all, what they do.  The South will continue to abide as statues come down, flags are changed, and the overt racism of the Northern states is all but written from history.  The North won the cotton, the sugar, and the right to enslave the minds of ignorance to do their bidding.  Ignorance is becoming smarter than the insidious intelligence which keeps its boot firmly on the neck of the masses, however.  Ignorance will have their "Aha!" moment as they begin to learn the "new" North hasn't changed much from the old North -  intelligent... just, not all that smart.

You'll notice where most Northerners still come for the winter, and to retire?  Like refugees, they pour into the South, bringing with their subconscious desire to mold it from the laid-back free spirit into that mess which they have left.  Where will they run to next, after they turn their new home into a cesspool?  When their perverted version of truth catches up to them?

Bless their hearts.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

My Sunday Thought for 072218: An Animal Sense of God

“Religion is a formal attempt to establish optimality and balance in life. People need such a formalized program, because we have free will and therefore the choice to be balanced or imbalanced. 

Animals, as far as we know, simply follow a path of instinctual obedience to their "fitrah," their nature. As a result, one could say that they don't need religion. Or, as I would prefer to phrase it as a theist who believes in design (albeit, unfolded through a gradual evolutionary process), their "religion" is hardwired into them. 

They are instinctively in a state of balance and obedience, following an optimized, least action type trajectory through life. Humanity "fell" / diverged or rather gained the ability to choose to fall/diverge from this Edenic state of balance when a spirit with awareness and free will was first breathed into a hominid body by God.”

-- Cyril Anderson, General seeker of truth

I don't know the qualifications of Cyril Anderson to intelligently address an animal's sense of God.  Hell, I question my qualifications for most of my own opinions.  I use his quote as the opener to this post, "An Animal Sense of God," simply because he gave me an "Aha!" moment by describing his answer to someone else's question concerning this same subject.  I have had ridiculous difficulty in putting an explanation of what I thought was simple in my head, into an equally simple description on paper.  His explanation religion, instinct, choice, and especially simple conclusion of "hardwired" was what I was looking for.  It was this simple idea of "hardwired" which kept eluding me.  I have no problems giving credit where credit is due, and I must thank Cyril for kick starting my brain.

There are those who would argue that animals are just animals, and animals do not reason through to a God figure, or a lack of one for that matter.  I mean, you would logically have to consider God before you could deny God, right?  But, scripture has many references to God's influence over the creatures of the earth, and of an animal's sense of "angels" which man does not immediately sense until the angelic being wishes it; scripture indicates an animal's ability to see the angel regardless of the angel's approval.  Perhaps this sight was an ability taken from mankind for their offense in Eden or, perhaps, an ability lost due to selfish preoccupation with less spiritual matters, or a general loss of faith.

Nine animals, other than humans, have any measurable degree of self-awareness:  Orangutans, chimpanzees, gorillas, bottlenose dolphins, elephants, orcas, bonobos, rhesus macaques, and European magpies.  As far as we know, these are the only species which have demonstrated self-awareness, as far as we know.  Pet owners would declare cats and dogs to be on the list, as well.  But, then, when you consider the list at hand, where does it really end?

The "mirror experiment" has been one of the tests for proving self-awareness.  For a good laugh, I invite you to view the attached video of a small child putting itself through the "mirror test" in a department store (re: Loopsy Laughs).  And if you've availed yourself of an opportunity to view the "mirror test" performed with an elephant, the similarity of their responses is telling.  The fact it seems to take the child longer to catch a clue, might be due to how long it takes the human brain to mature and why we stay in the nest so long before striking out on our own.

I found a fairly basic description of self-awareness on Wikipedia called, aptly, Self-awareness.  I especially found the five "potential prospects," listed by Philippe Rochat, to be of interest:

Individuals become conscious of themselves through the development of self-awareness. This particular type of self-development pertains to becoming conscious of one's own body and mental state of mind including thoughts, actions, ideas, feelings and interactions with others. "Self-awareness does not occur suddenly through one particular behavior: it develops gradually through a succession of different behaviors all of which relate to the self." The monitoring of one's mental states is called metacognition and it is considered to be an indicator that there is some concept of the self. It is developed through an early sense of non-self components using sensory and memory sources. In developing self–awareness through self-exploration and social experiences one can broaden his social world and become more familiar with the self. 

According to Emory University's Philippe Rochat, there are five levels of self-awareness which unfold in early development and six potential prospects ranging from "Level 0" (having no self-awareness) advancing complexity to "Level 5" (explicit self-awareness). 

Level 0: Confusion. At this level the individual has a degree of zero self-awareness. This person is unaware of any mirror reflection or the mirror itself. They perceive the mirror as an extension of their environment. Level 0 can also be displayed when an adult frightens himself in a mirror mistaking his own reflection as another person just for a second. 

Level 1: Differentiation. The individual realizes the mirror is able to reflect things. They see that what is in the mirror is different from what is surrounding them. At this level they can differentiate between their own movement in the mirror and the movement of the surrounding environment. 

Level 2: Situation. At this point an individual can link the movements on the mirror to what is perceived within their own body. This is the first hint of self-exploration on a projected surface where what is visualized on the mirror is special to the self.  

Level 3: Identification. This stage is characterized by the new ability to identify self: an individual can now see that what's in the mirror is not another person but actually him/herself. It is seen when a child, instead of referring to the mirror while referring to him/herself, refers to him/herself while looking in the mirror. 

Level 4: Permanence. Once an individual reaches this level they can identify the self beyond the present mirror imagery. They are able to identify the self in previous pictures looking different or younger. A "permanent self" is now experienced. 

Level 5: Self-consciousness or "meta" self-awareness. At this level not only is the self seen from a first person view but its realized that it's also seen from a third person's view. They begin to understand they can be in the mind of others. For instance, how they are seen from a public standpoint.

You can almost see the elephant progress through levels 1 through 3, and even into 4. I would like to know if a test was conducted to see if the elephant could pick out a younger photo of itself after looking in the mirror, which would nail down level 4.

Level 5, for me, is a little more difficult to consider. First of all we have to start from the premise that the elephant has no "self-consciousness." The mirror test only shows an awareness of self in a mirror, a "that is me" moment. The fact that the elephant recognizes itself in the mirror should evidence a first-person consciousness of self. I can't say "that's me" unless I'm already aware of me; I have simply never seen me in a mirror. The story of old elephant's recognizing each other from their circus days, many years after being separated, should also evidence recognition in the third-person, as they remain in the mind of others. This memory has also been witnessed in their homage to fallen comrades as they gather to remember while passing the place where those members died.

We constantly study animals which have structured societies.  They evidence hierarchies of who eats first, who leads, who finds food or raises the young, who protects the group, and so on.   Members are loved, cared for, taught, challenged, admonished, shunned, banished, and forgiven.  They have self-awareness, the "capacity for introspection and the ability to recognize oneself as an individual separate from the environment and other individuals."  It would seem, some animals also have a consciousness of self, "being aware of one's environment and body and lifestyle, self-awareness is the recognition of that awareness."

If we can agree to define "self-awareness" as "how an individual consciously knows and understands his/her own character, feelings, motives, and desires," then shouldn't we also be able to agree they have some capacity to consider the existence of a deity, a God, something more than themselves?  Then, consider these same animals as food and ask if it is any wonder they fear man.  If an animal can fear what they consider as dangerous or evil, why can't we assume they also have a concept of friendly and good?  Besides, we were told to eat the trees, not the critters:

And God said, Behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the earth, and every tree, in the which is the fruit of a tree yielding seed; to you it shall be for meat.

-- Genesis 1:29

It might be that the critters are closer to God's heart than we, and they know it.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.

My Weekly "Chaplain's Group"

"Thank you, God, for another glorious day in paradise and another chance to excel in life!"  This is the way I greet every morning when the new day begins, and the way I greet each group I talk to every week at the medical center's S.T.A.R. (Stress, Trauma, Addiction, Recovery) Wellness Program.  The people I address range in age from around 20 and on up.  Why are they in the unit?  Their reasons are as varied as the folks who sit before me.  They are every color, men and women, active and retired military, civilian, gay and straight, religious, spiritual and not so much.  For each group I let them know, right from the start, I cannot teach them anything, I am only there to open their minds to possibilities; to help them to think.  Thus starts my hour with them and my goal for getting each of them to go from, "Why am I listening to this guy?" to being engaged in listening and participating.  This can often be the challenge, and I love a challenge.

Most of them do a mental shut down when they discover I'm the lead chaplain for the medical center.  They roll their eyes and prepare to be browbeaten with religious scripture, hell and damnation, the vengeful God, and about how they have failed God, and other such rot as may come to mind.  They don't know me, obviously, but they will before I've finished.

We talk about faith.  We talk about their faith in themselves and in others.  We discuss that you can't have true faith in others, or in God, without first having faith in yourself.  But, aren't you suppose to get that help to find faith in God?  Think about this question.  You want to give God faith which you are asking God to provide.  How about finding faith and then offering it up unto God?  Doesn't this make more sense?  You can't try to heal others without, first healing yourself.  You can't truly love others without, first, loving yourself.  Faith is a lesson we all must learn before we can really acknowledge we have it.  And so, we also discuss faith as being a belief in something for which there is little or no proof, to begin with.  We can find faith and lose faith, question faith strengthen faith, and we can also help people along by sharing our faith, especially the faith in ourselves.  When we show the faith in ourselves we stand as a beacon of truth which others can learn and draw from, it increases our credibility to those looking for honesty and assistance.    

Many have stopped believing in themselves, stop having faith in themselves, and given up on being more than they are or in being happy in life.  Life, for many, has ceased to have any good meaning, and many are many are constantly judged.  The question I often hear them concerned with is, "What happened?"  The question I tell them they might want to ask instead of this is, "Why?"

Our lives are the product of our circumstances caused by our choices.  Our choices, good or bad, are often associated, in some manner, with time.  We discuss the misguided focus we often have with time and how time is a human construct we developed to give life structure, structure which usually does more damage than good if not understood.  I think that, in order to understand this structure we need to first understand how we fail at time.  We talk about time wasted, and the time we think we have left, and why we need to understand that our "life" does not end when our time expires at the end of this existence.  And herein lies some of what we miss.

"Time," as many of us have come to understand it, ends when our shell expires.  Many of us feel, as we get much older, our lives have been wasted in many different ways, and this may be very true for this existence.  A bonus for people of faith is the hope of a life after this, heaven, reincarnation, another plane of existence, and the like.  Basically, it's another chance for us to be more, another chance to excel.  If we truly wrap our minds around the concept, we truly wrap our minds around a faith which will guide our lives from one tick of the clock to the next - we learn to live in the moment, not for the moment.  Living for the moment is planning for the next moment - what will be, will be.  Living in the moment - it is what it is, so deal with whatever it is.  And, the past is simply memories of lessons which assist us in the now.  The choices we make in the now are what will affect any future which presents itself in the now.  This concept of leaving the past behind, not concerning ourselves with the future, and focusing on simply making better choices in the now seems to have great effect on my audiences, and the conversation usually switches to the idea of "living life between the ticks of the clock." 

Many in group expect some judgement from me, and they are happily disappointed to find this is not why I am there.  "So, don't you want to know why I'm here?" they might ask.  "Not my circus, not my monkey," is my usual answer; as long as they know why, that is all that's important.  I want to make sure they don't dwell on what they already know happened, and start focusing on why it happened.  The "why" of things usually adjusts targeting from everywhere else back to where it belongs, on us, and on the choices we made.

We make the choice to hang out with people who do us no good.  We stay in jobs and relationships which make us unhappy.  We make our debt by purchasing that which we cannot truly afford.  All of this, and more, are choice we make that have dire consequences.  What is the best thing about life?  Tomorrow is a brand new day, and a chance to correct things in your life which really suck, badly.

I think some of my success in group is the honesty and frankness which I bring to bear.  I am not afraid to say sonofabitch, dumbass, moron, and such.  I call a spade a spade and color very little with the bullshit brush.  I have been in supervision, management, and training, for most of my life.  During all of this, by virtue of my career with military intelligence, I was a briefer and public speaker.  I have found that people tend to respond better when they're not being talked at but, rather, talked to.  They like it when you level the playing field, approach them as equals, and them their opinions and, most importantly, listen to what they have to contribute; speak, listen, respond, follow up, and then repeat.

By the last ten minutes of group, many want to hear my view of God and the Bible.  I give them a history of scripture from before 10,000 B.C. to the King James Version, including the multiple interpretations caused by languages which do not translate directly into each other, and the hidden agendas of governments and church hierarchy in controlling the faithful.  I usually end this segment, given all I have presented, with some questions for them to ponder:  Is Holy Scripture really the undeniable WORD of God, or is it simply God inspired writings?  Does it really matter?  And, where is the proof we base our faith on, if not scripture?  Isn't it more important to simply have faith, a belief, that there is something greater than us in the universe?  Does it really matter what we call the ultimate power?  My favorite question of late is, "Who has the responsibility of proving the existence of God, the faithful or the atheist?"  This can get everyone's juices flowing.

One or two in each week's group arrive with a sleepy eyed unspoken message that they will be asleep in the back for the hour I am there.  These are the proof of my success if, when I'm done, I have reached out to them so they leave shaking my hand and giving me a critique.  Usually I hear no one has ever discussed these issues which concern their lives the way I have.  They come expecting a sermon, and take away some ideas for a better way to live.  This is my success, when it occurs, to touch minds in such a way as to open them up to constructive possibilities and opinions, especially when they form constructive opinions their own.  Hopefully, they learn each day is a new day, a other beginning in an infinite existence, another chance to learn lessons which will help us to excel in this life and all of those yet to come.  Yesterday is behind us, tomorrow is a mystery, and this current moment is to be lived.  In the words of Saint Teresa of Calcutta, "Let us begin."

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteers as lead Chaplain and Chaplain Program Liaison, at the regional medical center.