Questioning Motivation, Evil, Honesty, and Relationships

“I have been finding treasures in places I did not want to search. I have been hearing wisdom from tongues I did not want to listen. I have been finding beauty where I did not want to look. And I have learned so much from journeys I did not want to take. Forgive me, O Gracious One; for I have been closing my ears and eyes for too long. I have learned that miracles are only called miracles because they are often witnessed by only those who can see through all of life's illusions. I am ready to see what really exists on the other side, what exists behind the blinds, and taste all the ugly fruit instead of all that looks right, plump and ripe.”

 --Suzy Kassem

How would you react if you woke up in a padded cell and your roommate is a pretty woman with long blonde hair, blue eyes, a cute face, and a fit body and she tells you she is in there for sex addiction and wants to have wild sex with you?

I’ll let you know when she’s done using me.

How can I find the motivation to live if I feel and am alone in life even in the presence of my close family? (No religious answers please.)

The selfless donation of time to help others is my recommendation. There is nothing like volunteering to get you out among people and discover charity. As the pastor for several years at a local medical center, I will tell you that “religion” won’t help you. You don’t want to hear it, and I don’t want to waste my breath. Giving of yourself is my advice. Expect nothing in return, and you will be rewarded, in time, with what you seek. By that time, what you seek will seem selfish to you.

What made you realize that no one really cares what you do?

I retired.

What is the best way to deal with regrets of the past in life?

Either go out of your way to make them right or recognize them as past history that you’ve learned from so you don’t have regrets again. It isn’t the mistakes or failures that are important, it is what you learn from them. When I was in the Intelligence field, we always said, never let a good mistake or failure go to waste. It is an opportunity presenting itself so we can learn.

Have you ever tried to understand something about any subject, for curiosity, and felt a headache because you never found an answer?

Quantum mechanics, and to a lesser extent, time.

"What is mathematics?  This question, if asked in earnest, has no answer."

-- Salomon Bochner

How do you know if you screwed up an interview?

You don’t get that, much desired, call back.

When do our feelings block the consequences of our actions?

During the “denial” phase.

What degree of failure can actually push a person to success?

It isn’t the failure, it’s what you learn from it. The more you learn the more apt you are to attain your goal. but, even the smallest aspect may be the key to the goal, as long as you take the time to learn.

My friend always used to say bad things about femboys, yet he was later caught having sex with one of them. How can this be possible?

The man doth protest too much, methinks.

What should I do about my current relationship? My(f48) bf (m38) has an issue with commenting. He cheated and I forgave him. I ask him about our future and he can't promise anything to me.

He’s 38 and you’re a “forgiving” 48. Of course, he isn’t promising what he knows he won’t give. He’s got life by the 48-year-old. Lucky him. You? Not so much.

“Some people view love and romance as a sacred bond between two individuals. Other people see love as a game, where the goal is to manipulate another individual and gain emotional power over a partner. People who view love as a game are much more likely to have multiple love interests; cheating is just another way to gain control over one's partner.”

-- David Reeves

My girlfriend took pictures with her male friend and has him as her lock screen and profile picture plus she recently post him a lot. Is she cheating?

You’re asking the wrong question. Is she your girlfriend?

What does a guy get out of a relationship? Women get their bills paid, free labor, get her floor redone with his money, get free food, get a free car, a free house that is "her house", etc.?

Not in any relationship I’ve been in. We always split up the bills equitably. I don’t care how good she is in bed, this is using you for all the wrong reasons. Is there a good reason? I doubt it.

Why are people so evil to ugly people?

Who is truly “ugly” between them? 

Is it already decided by God whom we marry?

Nope. The only thing given to you by God is free will. You mess up your own life and don’t try to blame God because your winky did your thinking.

Why is forgiveness considered more powerful than revenge?

Revenge is not our purview. Revenge incites bad karma. Forgiveness is what we are supposed to show. Bad karma will hunt them down and make them pay, sooner or later. 

“Forgiveness is not about forgetting. It is about letting go of another person's throat......Forgiveness does not create a relationship. Unless people speak the truth about what they have done and change their minds and behavior, a relationship of trust is not possible. When you forgive someone you certainly release them from judgment, but without true change, no real relationship can be established.........Forgiveness in no way requires that you trust the one you forgive. But should they finally confess and repent, you will discover a miracle in your own heart that allows you to reach out and begin to build between you a bridge of reconciliation.........Forgiveness does not excuse anything.........You may have to declare your forgiveness a hundred times the first day and the second day, but the third day will be less and each day after, until one day you will realize that you have forgiven completely. And then one day you will pray for his wholeness......”

-- William P. Young

Why can't the mind take care of two thoughts at the same time?

We call this "multitasking."

How should I tell my girlfriend I love her without saying it?

Oh, for God’s sake. Say it.

Why do racists say clouds look nice white, and not brown?

I’ve never seen a brown cloud. I’ve seen brown smog, but not a brown cloud. I’ve seen grey going into black clouds, but not brown. I had no idea we were looking for racism in meteorology. What’s next? The newspaper? Too much white and not enough print? 

Does cheating on your partner indicate a lack of love and respect?

Ya think?

What happens when you lie to someone you love?

When does it stop? 

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Why should we tell the truth always?

You won’t have to remember your own bullshit. 

How can I ask my neighbor for her phone number?

You: “If I ask you for your phone number, would you give it to me?”
Her: “Why?
You:  “Do you like pizza?”

The rest might be history in the making.

What makes you instantly not trust another man?

He’s in bed with my wife.

Is it true that poor men only want a wife when they want something from them and rich guys want a woman so they can spoil her and want nothing in return?

They both “want” a woman, one so he can get something material, one so he can give something material. Is love involved here, somewhere, or are these just selfish pricks?

What should I do? My wife loves another man.

What are you doing? Watching? Time to divorce her and move on to greener and much better pastures. She has made her heartless decision, it’s only too bad she had to totally screw up your life to realize it.

“Cheating and lying aren't struggles, they're reasons to break up.”

-- Patti Callahan Henry

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com