Questioning Reactions and the Unexpected

“There is only one kind of shock worse than the totally unexpected: the expected for which one has refused to prepare.”

-- Mary Renault

What technology cannot get any better?

The moment we say it "can’t" is when someone will come along to prove us wrong. All technology can improve. Change, after all, is the only true constant in the universe.

What's the best example of "not going down without a fight"?

The Alamo.

What would your reaction be to someone laying on the ground, faced down, in public?

“Has anybody checked for a pulse? No? Is there a good reason you’re all standing around gawking and no one has taken their thumb out of their ass to check? Ah! Humans. I forgot. My bad.”

“I looked at myself in that window, oblivious to all the people around me and I stared and smiled that particular smile. You know that smile that seems to knock you and tell you how pathetic you are? That's the smile I was smiling.”

-- Markus Zusak

What are the steps in managing cross-cultural conflict?

Knowledge, understanding, and legal recourse. 

What is more challenging to successful public speaking - fear, or being unprepared?

I briefed and did presentations for my 23 years of service in military intelligence. Being unprepared isn’t a challenge as much as it is being stupid. If you’re well prepared, fear will dissipate. If you think you’re well prepared, go over it again until you know you are. Practice, practice, practice, and then practice again, and ensure you practice at least once in front of someone sitting in the back of the room you’ll be presenting in. Check the equipment, lights, audio, and practice while the HVAC in the room is running. The “white noise” will drown you out.

When do we say a problem exists?

The moment you realize a problem obviously exists, and if you see it coming a “heads up” might be in order.

"One of the true tests of leadership is the ability to recognize a problem before it becomes an emergency."

-- Unknown

What’s one good thing you do for yourself on a regular basis, perhaps daily?

I thank God for the gift of another glorious day in paradise and another chance to excel in this life, and I strive to be happy always.

How do they destroy my credibility and mental status?

Who are “they” of which you speak? Nobody ever elaborates.

 What does the statement “my legacy can never be undone” mean?

They are issuing a challenge for someone to undo it. Laws are flexible and no one is perfect. We have founders of our nation whose "legacy" is the Constitution but, oops, now their legacy is being touted by the perpetually offended as being “slave owners.” Have we forgotten that the people who sold Africans into slavery were, wait for it… Africans? Why keep the conquered village people for your own slaves when you can sell them to the Portuguese for beads and knives?

A “legacy” seems to be only as strong as everyone else wants it to be, their ignorance of the culture of the times notwithstanding.

“The evil that men do lives after them;
The good is oft interred with their bones.”

-- William Shakespeare

Which is a better motivator, pain or spite?

Spite is usually driven by the emotional pain someone has inflicted on you, so they are really synonymous. You left “desire” off your choices. Rarely does anyone desire pain or spite, but they might just desire motivation.

Why is it important to know what to do in unexpected situations?

I’m on the third floor and the building is on fire. Gee, I didn’t expect that. Good thing I know the emergency procedures for this building or I might just burn to death while I run around with my hair on fire.

Why am I living a hard depressing life living with honesty and hard work while my other colleagues get by easily with deceit and cheating?

What your colleagues do has no bearing on your personal code of ethics. Stop being depressed and strive to be happy in the knowledge that you are able to look in the mirror and see the one person who is truly living life with hard work and honesty. If your bosses don’t see this, they are truly ignorant of your worth. Maybe you should be looking for different circumstances instead of being depressed about being alive. Strive to be happy always, and ignore those that cheat their way through life.

"Opportunities are usually disguised as hard work, so most people don't recognize them."

-- Unknown

What if we don't have a hero?

Become one. A hero is someone who does good in the face of overwhelming odds. It doesn’t have to be a soldier. More often it is a first responder. But, they can actually be a mentor, teacher, or foster parent. Anyone who has a positive effect on someone else's life. Age, gender, and the like, are not requirements to affect positive change.

Are Americans currently on the right path?

If, by “right path”, you mean another “Apology Tour”, then, no. We are on the left path to socialism, which has never worked out. If we were on the “right” path we’d all be celebrating the Constitution that made us all free people with God-given freedom of choice. Awaken to the fact you used to live in the greatest country on earth. Let’s find our way back, shall we, and not cheat doing it?

Why am I always ready to fight? Since I was a child, I felt like boys bigger than me was a threat. I am 41 now and I am always on high alert, for no apparent reason.

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) would be a likely cause. Find a PTSD support group to get involved with.

“Trauma is personal. It does not disappear if it is not validated. When it is ignored or invalidated the silent screams continue internally heard only by the one held captive. When someone enters the pain and hears the screams healing can begin.”

-- Danielle Bernock

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Questioning Forks and Perception

 

“The worst place is at the fork. You can’t keep going the same direction as you came. You have to choose one or the other path. Whatever the choice, at least, it is movement. Otherwise, you are just forking around getting nowhere.”

-- Donna Goddard

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Just a thought:  Almost 12,000 people read my answers this week.  One wonders if they get anything out of them?  I know I learn much about myself by answering even the most mundane questions.  I'm glad most of the people reading these don't really know me, though.  I'd hate to meet them in some dark alley because something I said put their panties in a bunch. 

It's bad enough I have to constantly be on the lookout for those real members of the League of the Perpetually Offended.  And, not because I care what they think, but because they think I care what they think.  They tend to "think" just to piss people off.  Better that they simply don't try to think, in my view.  It wastes our precious time, our precious oxygen, and they seem to go out of their way to learn nothing from the exercise except how to curse and call people names.  Not endearing qualities, in my humble opinion.  Just saying.

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What if there was a fork in the road, and you had to take one path and another version of yourself had to take the other path, and you got to meet up later to discuss how things turned out?

We would order up a couple of bourbon on the rocks, and cigars, and discuss how things turned out.

Does someone always have to win?

Yes, and no, and not necessarily in the eyes of supposed “competitors.” If two masons build a brick wall, finish at the same time, and have no animosity toward each other. There is no competition. After several years, one wall is having issues and the other is standing strong. Different technique? Different mortar? And, does it really matter? Only to the people who own each wall. They determine that one mason is superior to the other.

In order to be able to think, do you have to risk being offended?

Being offended would mean you actually care what other people think about what you think. If this is the case, best you keep your thoughts to yourself. Personally, I’d rather not “risk” being offended, so I don’t much care what people think about what I think, as these are my thoughts. They are perfectly welcome to have their own thoughts… if they’re capable, that is.

“People get addicted to feeling offended all the time because it gives them a high; being self-righteous and morally superior feels good.”

-- Mark Manson

What is a good example of “bigger isn't always better”?

I’ve heard women talk about guys like this.

How does the idea of the "aura" relate to perception?

“Extra-sensory” perception. Some people say they can perceive a person’s “aura” and read how they are feeling or what kind of a person they are by the color and strength of it.

What is the relationship between perception and attitude?

Perception can shape your attitude. Better not to rely on just your perception, but to investigate more thoroughly before jumping into a perception, copping an attitude and, then, finding out you’re wrong. Journalists are guilty of this more and more as they editorialize instead of investigating and printing the facts.  They either simply believe bullshit, or they make the bullshit up.

"Adversity can be turned into opportunity simply by adjusting our perception and our attitude."

-- Gail Lynne Goodwin

Why can't people not like you?

I don’t know. I suppose I simply exude likeability. This was probably the reason I was bullied by bigger students. Their girlfriends liked to talk to me.

What is the word for something that is both shallow and deep at the same time?

Average.

How are loneliness and wisdom related to each other?

Are they supposed to be? I’ve known many wise people who are certainly not lonely. I consider myself wise in many ways and I’m anything but lonely.

“Remember: the time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself. Life's cruelest irony.”

-- Douglas Coupland

Do you have a handle on your darkness?

I certainly hope so. I try not to think about interrogation techniques, and for most of my intelligence career, we would make a game of just screwing with people’s heads. People were getting emotionally hurt. I stopped doing it many years ago, for this reason. Some time back, to prove a point, I told a young lady over the phone that I can make her do anything I want. She started to argue with me, so I smiled and hung up on her. She called me back immediately and chewed me out for daring to hang up. I explained to her, “Yeah, but I made you call me back.” She hung up on me. I just smiled and let her go. This was trivial compared to what we could do, and I only mess with heads when I think there is a lesson in doing so. Not very often.

What does it mean to take advantage of a situation in a bad way?

Taking sexual advantage of a woman who has had way too much to drink, comes to mind.

What is more of a struggle for the average person: working hard or working smart?

Working smart. Most people just want to do the job and get paid. It’s easier. Then, there are those who work the job smarter, to make it easier and get more done, or to impress the boss. This takes some effort but usually pays off.

“I don't believe in luck or in hard work without the so-called "work smart". It's not all about how you work hard but it's about how you manage your time, resources, mind to work together for a better output.”

-- Jayson Zabate

Do you suffer from a general malaise brought on by being connected to reality?

Nope. I think people who suffer from “malaise” due to reality don’t really understand the reality of life. We are here to learn. Some of us are here, again, to learn because we didn’t learn the last time around, or the life before that. Life is about learning the lessons we are here to learn, so we can make good choices for ourselves and rise above our circumstances so we can finally understand reality. Or, you can wallow in a pit of self-pity and keep on repeating your personal hell on earth. Better you learn to strive to be happy always and, then, move forward to make more out of this life.

"You don't have to be on good terms with everybody." Do you agree?

I’m not, and yes, I do. I will never be on good terms with those who are perpetually offended. They just won’t have it. 

What made you be religious?

Catholicism, when I was very young. Then, through my formative years, I formed a different opinion about churches and “organized” religion. They are primarily about control. I studied eastern philosophies, Zen and Tao, and took courses in world religions, all so I could end up where II am - spiritual. I daily celebrate my personal spirituality while also embracing my own take on Christianity. I found this quote, several years ago, and hold it close, as a truth:

“Protestantism has the method of Jesus with His secret too much left out of mind: Catholicism has His secret with His method too much left out of mind; neither has His unerring balance, His intuition, His sweet reasonableness. But both have hold of a great truth, and get from it a great power.”

-- Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), poet, educator, cultural critic

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Hypocrites Remind Me of Why I Do What I Do

 

"Protestantism has the method of Jesus with His secret too much left out of mind: Catholicism has His secret with His method too much left out of mind; neither has His unerring balance, His intuition, His sweet reasonableness. But both have hold of a great truth, and get from it a great power.

-- Matthew Arnold (1822-1888), poet, educator, cultural critic

I originally wrote this post in late August of 2016.  I have used the quote from Matthew Arnold many times since.  It has great meaning for me and my personal sense of spirituality.  I come back to this post, occasionally, to remind myself of why I am.  We tend to forget why we are as we go through the motions of day-to-day life.  I use this post as my reminder.  I haven't updated it in a while, so I will see what needs to be corrected or updated here, and make changes as appropriate.

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I get reminders from God, more often than I used to, of why I sought ordination as an interfaith minister, why I founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance, and why I started "The Path," a blog discussing the personal spiritual path each of us is on.  

A little more than a week ago I published a post, Faces in My Darkness because a dear friend was in anguish over her so-called "minister" talking about her behind her back and spreading untrue rumors.  A couple of days ago I posted a story about the "miracle" of how another minister, Lucy the Clown, seemed to draw the first "I love you" from a mother's autistic child.  God reminds me why I'm here, through the numerous emails and comments I have received, thanking me for honest, plain language posts and stories that have touched another's life in some small way, and comments from those folks encouraging me to keep writing.

As many of you have read, I began this journey after yet another, of many, self-righteous Christians damned me to hell for my personal spiritual beliefs, thrusting their Bible at me like a weapon or a shield.  Their hypocrisy was another one of hundreds I've endured and broke the camel's back.  I felt their faith in God was minimized by having to hide behind scripture or wield it like a weapon and evidenced, to me, a lack of their personal faith; personal faith which loves and praises God and Jesus Christ without the crutch of  "Holy Scripture" which is required by many to offset crippling misinterpretations of God's "Word"  with further misinterpretations of their own.  How do you misinterpret the only "Word of God" written in stone?  They are Ten Commandments written in the simplest language one could hope for until made confusing by man's scripture.

These hypocrites are people so wrapped up in their own heretical agenda they have forgotten it is not their place to judge the servant of another Master simply because they forget what they read in their own Bible, like Matthew 6:5-6, "And when you pray, do not be like the hypocrites, for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners to be seen by others. Truly I tell you, they have received their reward in full. But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen." And they forget also, Matthew 6:9-13, "This, then, is how you should pray: 'Our Father in heaven hallowed be your name..."  Yet they continue to spend money building churches for worshipping together as they recite countless other prayers instead of focusing their money and energy doing for the poor and hungry - the least of us.  These are the Christians who say they have read the Bible, but they seem to have understood very little of it.  They put their nose in the air, these "well-meaning" hypocrites, constantly offended by me and always up in my grill ready to impose judgment.

One of these self-appointed "soldiers of Christ" was my latest reminder, from Himself, just the other morning.  In my role as chaplain, I occasionally stop in to visit patients twice a week.  I also do a Sunday meeting for some patients each week, the PTSD group, where we discuss various topics.  This particular morning one gentleman in the group waved for my attention.  It took one sentence, and his obvious body language, for me to realize I was up against an old nemesis - the Christian self-righteous judge; a member of one of the 33,000 distinct Christian denominations in 238 countries, all believing their interpretation of scripture is the only correct interpretation, he would have us all condemned to hell because his belief is the right belief and everyone else is wrong.  I politely listened to him try to bait me into a "discussion," for several minutes.  He was unsuccessful.  However, as I turned to leave, he did manage to have the last word by condemning me to hell for all eternity.  I dismissed the opportunity to tell him that hell would give us more opportunity to talk.  I exercised restraint and tolerance, two of the three things in my life I lack much of.  The third is patience, which is why I left before I stopped exercising it.

I am anything but perfect, none of us are, but at least some of us are trying to make the world a better place in our own inimitable way, instead of spewing negativity, divisiveness, and intolerance toward others.  This man's credibility would have been beyond question, for me, if he'd simply stated, "I hope you can be a better Christian than I am."  Truth can win people's hearts.

I couldn't help but feel pity for him, though, and forgiveness for his lack of tolerance, love, and understanding, and for a misdirected faith which I felt was not directly his fault.  Here, after all, was a person at odds with their own mind, their own safety or the safety of others, and he was passing judgment on someone willing to listen, to give up some time, and to show him some tolerance and understanding which he was seemingly incapable of showing, as a "Christian," to anyone with a differing opinion or faith.  I felt his attempt to verbally attack me was an attack on his own Christian inadequacies, his lack of true faith, and his need to be in control of something, or someone if he couldn't be in control of himself.  

Most importantly, though, it seemed the reason I was there, giving of my time, totally escaped him.  I was there because his caring clergy wasn't.   I was there trying to do what I could because many clerics, who took a vow to serve God, seem too wrapped up in the business of running a church and were unable to find the time to serve the least of us.  I took the man's attack in stride.  You get used to attacks after almost 50 years.

I think Abrahamic religions have it all backward.  God made faith simple for us and we continue to complicate it.  Instead of learning to love God and Christ through scripture written by men and "inspired" by God, perhaps we should first learn to know, love, and praise Christ and God before we receive the "inspired" scripture.  Maybe a person should understand their own strength of faith before being handed a sword and shield, these words bound between two covers, which are worthless without a faith that comes from within the individual and not from between book covers.  People need to understand, it isn't the Bible, Holy Water, or any Christian symbol which holds the demons at bay; it is the strength of the personal faith in God found within the living vessel that accomplishes the feat.  When you strip a person of the accouterments of their religion, all they have left is what God gave them, to begin with - personal faith!

The problem I see with the logic of my idea concerning churches is that people will flee in droves from the control of the church, which the church would frown upon.  I have found through life when you learn something on your own before you get the instruction manual; you tend to have a more critical eye which accomplishes the task better.  It doesn't mean you can't learn something new, it simply allows you the freedom to make that choice if you see it benefits you and, in this case, God and your immortal soul.  God wants us to seek the truth because the truth will set us free; the church would rather we not, for the same reason.

This might sound, to some, like I'm also standing in judgment of people and religion as a whole... and perhaps I am.  I have, after all, held with the notion that it takes one to know one, and I have never denied my own sins, hypocrisy, and other shortcomings. No one is perfect; we can but try in this life to do what we can with that which is given us, in order to do something wonderful.

I will continue to try and scoop up those Christians who have fallen, for one reason or another, by the wayside of their faith.  Mine has been a ministry to convince folks not to give up on God and not to judge "Holy Scripture" too negatively.  I try to offer them another thought on faith so that, in their future, they might rediscover, or redefine, their personal spiritual path.  My faith lies in the belief that any personal relationship with God is better than no relationship at all.

If the Christian churches are going to drive some people away from their path to God, someone has to show them a detour so they don't get too lost.  I like to think my map is pretty good.  Want one?

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Questioning the Essential and Complicated

 

Why is there not more grasp that truth is objective and gained through persons, and that reality is subjectively gained, and only able to be used through other persons? How can you use others?

Schools, for the most part, don’t teach truth and reality because, if they did, kids would grow up cognizant of the bullshit they’re being fed. Truth needs to be searched out, not simply accepted because “authority” says it is so. If schools were any good they would be teaching how to search for truth, not how to blindly accept it.  

This being said, “reality” is what it is regardless of how it’s attained. Being what it is, though, how one lives reality is totally up to the individual.  Reality doesn’t exist so we can use it through other people, because reality would exist regardless. 

How can you use other people? Don’t. Using other people is simply wrong and should be a violation of one’s personal code of ethics.

What is putting things into perspective like?

It is seeing the reason, asking the “why” behind things. If someone says the world sucks, why did they say it? They might be right, but we’ll never know until we ask who they are and discover why they believe the way they do. Otherwise, the statement stands on its own without context or valid perspective.

What are the keys to continuity and change? Why do we need to evaluate change?

Understanding and acceptance. Change happens. It is the only constant in the universe. Why and how we change depends on our evaluation of the change we are contemplating. Once the change is decided upon, it is good to ensure everyone affected is onboard with the change through understanding and acceptance.

"Mere change is not growth. Growth is the synthesis of change and continuity, and where there is no continuity there is no growth."

-- C. S. Lewis

If you interacted w/ with me at work, what did you think of me at the beginning, middle, & end?

In the beginning, I didn’t know you. We met and I made a supposition of who you were. By the middle, I would have found if my supposition was valid or if my mind has changed about who you are. In the end, we are either friendly coworkers, I could care less one way or another about you, or you’re an ass and I simply disavow you as a coworker and do my job. Works out better for both of us if you have a good moral sense of ethics and aren’t an ass.

Which argument wins between, "I really need to see it," and "I can't force her"?

Neither one. “Go ask her,” would put it to rest. Why are they telling someone else that they really need to see it? That is their problem, so don’t buy into them making it your problem. There is way too much drama in either of these statements. Better to just send them on their way and be done with it.

How do you define your sense of place?

I am where I stand unless I am moving forward, and then I am where I am. I am comfortable in my life and I strive to be happy always. I live by my credo, “It is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is again.” It is in our power, by choice, to change our circumstances.

If you feel out of place it is in your power to place yourself where you need to be. Life is about choices. Where we are, our “sense of place,” has much to do with making good choices for ourselves. If you feel out of place, make better choices.

“There is no mysterious essence we can call a 'place'. Place is change. It is motion killed by the mind, and preserved in the amber of memory.”

-- J. A. Baker

Why is it important to emphasize what is essential, and to understand the background of who, or what, we are referring to?

Using an Intelligence perspective, it would depend on the situation. Do you have time to do an in-depth study, or is time short and you can only do a cursory look? Is what you already have considered essential enough for the decision process? It is very important to give emphasis to what is essential and becomes less important to know the background unless that is essential. It is every bit situational and time-sensitive to how deep you research, especially if lives hang in the balance. This is not an easy question to answer.

How much do you really care what people think of you? How much of that criticism, whether self-inflicted, directly or indirectly affect you?

Not very much. I deal with members of the League of the Perpetually Offended all the time, so I’ve learned to let their mindless drivel roll off my back. You have to when you deal with their ilk. Nothing you say is going to deter these bullies from being offended. I leave them for my readers to deal with.  It is what they do. I was also bullied when I was young, so folks have a long way to go before they can really get under my skin. 

Should wisdom be measured by how complicated it is?

My goodness, no! Wisdom should be measured by how simple it is:

“Thirty spokes are joined in the wheel's hub.
The hole in the middle makes it useful.
Mold clay into a bowl.
The empty space makes it useful.
Cut out doors and windows for the house.
The holes make it useful.

Therefore, the value comes from what is there,
But the use comes from what is not there.” 

-- Tao Te Ching, Chapter 11

What is the true meaning of patience?

“Understanding,” comes to mind.

How can I win the fight between me and me?

You must surrender, in order to win.

Should we be afraid of those who fear us?

Only if you fear they might shoot you for no damned good reason. Better that you stop being so frightening to others.

“We can easily forgive a child who is afraid of the dark; the real tragedy of life is when men are afraid of the light.”

-- Plato

What is the illusion of importance?

Being a “legend in your own mind”?

I hate being loved. How do I avoid having to put up with people that love me?

Hate them back! I was married to a woman that didn’t want to put up with being loved, so I started hating her and, voila! Divorce!  It took me twenty years to come up with that solution.

What is the effect of context (a story form) on perception?

What you read will be better understood when you realize the context of what is truly being said. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., is constantly quoted out of context in order to push some ill-conceived agenda. Anytime you read a quote that doesn’t sound like something the person would say, they probably didn’t mean it in the context given. Better for you to go back and read the entire speech.

“The frame, the definition, is a type of context. And context, as we said before, determines the meaning of things. There is no such thing as the view from nowhere, or from everywhere for that matter. Our point of view biases our observation, consciously and unconsciously. You cannot understand the view without the point of view.”

-- Noam Shpancer

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Some Answers Concerning Thinking

 

“Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right.”

-- Henry Ford

Do most people think with their head or their heart?

Personally, I think it’s a toss-up, although it would seem some people don’t think at all. You’ll recognize this when, and if, you ever get comments from the League of the Perpetually Offended for voicing an opinion you were asked for by someone else. I try not to dwell on if their thinking, or with what.

How do people with IQs below 100 behave?

They probably behave like everyone else. The real determining factor would be what their SQ is. How intelligent you are, has no bearing on how smart you might be. I’ve met a lot of intelligent people who can’t walk and chew gum at the same time. I met a doctor who introduced himself as Doctor (X). I said I was pleased to meet him, I’m Master Sergeant Villari. He looked at me for a second and then began to laugh. He said his name was John, I told him mine was Tony.

Titles and IQ are no substitute for being human and, at times, we tend to forget this, What we are, we earned for ourselves, and it shouldn’t be used as a badge demanding respect, as that has to be earned, title or not, high IQ or not. In the military I earned respect, but the good doctor didn’t know me… yet. Whatever you are, never forget you’re just human, like the rest of us.

Daniel Po says that it's OK to preach forgiveness and at the same time, NOT forgive, is Daniel being a hypocrite?

Pretty much. But, forgiving someone for being a criminal doesn’t make them not a criminal. Just because you forgive them doesn’t mean you don’t keep your hand on your wallet. It is up to them to repent. You can also forgive them for not rising above their circumstance and seeking forgiveness from a “higher” court.

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

How would you define "excessive explaining", and what can you do when you hear it?

Guilty of something, or thinking they are. I’d ask them who they’re trying to convince, me or themselves.

If you don't like what's going on, should you stand up for yourself or grin and bear it just so you don’t look bad?

Never go along with the crowd if the crowd is wrong. This is what politicians do. If you stand up for yourself and catch a ration from them, grin and tell them to grow up… after they go screw themselves. You’ll look bad to some of them, others will applaud your courage, and your real judge will face you in the mirror… and grin back.

How does it feel to have someone inside of you?

Are you asking about a baby… or someone’s appendage? Not that I have an answer, either way. Just curious, and looking for clarity.

"Everything you need is already inside of you."

-- Steven Snider

What's an answer good for almost anything?

Maybe.

Who, but the imperfect, celebrate imperfection?

Islam. The only perfection is Allah. Persian carpets used to be made with an intentional mistake, just for this reason. 

What's an answer good for almost anything?

Maybe. Unless she’s damned attractive, then it depends on the question.

“Life is filled with unanswered questions, but it is the courage to seek those answers that continues to give meaning to life.”

-- J.D. Stroube

Is being good in school just being good at doing what you are told to do?

Being in school is just being good at learning so you grow up not leeching off society. It is a choice to be something better, or not. It is your choice.

How did you find your bliss?

They usually find me.

What are your thoughts on jobs, work, and responsibility?

Get a job. Work at it the best you can. It is your responsibility to yourself, your family, and society.

Reader comment:  Unfortunately, I’m having trouble finding a job.

My reply:  This happens. Never give up looking.

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

-- Sigmund Freud

How do our actions affect other people?

Everything we do is by choice, and the choices we make affect other people around us, like ripples in a large pond. There are millions and millions of ripples happening at once, affecting each other, and the shoreline of the pond. Wouldn’t it be great if we all made better decisions, better choices, and made smaller ripples?

Does “Long time no see” sound antiquated to you?

Yeah, but that's okay because, for some of us, it’s “old hat.” Using it is a choice. If you’d rather say something else maybe you’ll start a new trend.

Did you push yourself to the extent of fighting for your principle but surrendered in the end? Why or why not?

Your principles are what they are. You shouldn’t have to fight for them unless someone thinks they have the ability to take them from you. It is your choice to let them, or not. In reality, no one can take your principles from you or they really aren’t your principles. Your principles are your personal code of moral ethics. If you flip-flop on them, what does this say about you?

“It is easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them.”

-- Alfred Adler

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

A Few Questions of Conduct

 

“The soul grows into lovely habits as easily as into ugly ones, and the moment a life begins to blossom into beautiful words and deeds, that moment a new standard of conduct is established, and your eager neighbors look to you for a continuous manifestation of the good cheer, the sympathy, the ready wit, the comradeship, or the inspiration, you once showed yourself capable of. Bear figs for a season or two, and the world outside the orchard is very unwilling you should bear thistles.”

-- Kate Douglas Wiggin

Can all forms of conduct be explained by the social situations we encounter?

Not always. Sometimes conduct can be dictated by entities like business or the military.

What makes someone extremely shallow?

Not being deep, would be an obvious answer. Hitting on a woman just because she has breasts, would be another. I mean, who cares what she’s thinking, right? You read the newspaper "comics" section but have no clue who Shakespeare is. When someone asks you where Russia is on a map (yes, college students do this, big surprise), you point to Texas. I suppose you have to care about more than just breathing, partying, getting laid, and just having fun. You need to move into the deep end of the pool and start thinking, learning, and caring about more people than just you. “Uh…” is not an answer, nor is it a way to start a conversation. Hell, it shouldn’t even be. It is evidence of the shallow end of the gene pool. 

Are ‘pros’ positive or negative?

Sometimes yes, sometimes no: The “pros” are that we get there five years earlier with fuel and food left. The negative to this is that we have to kill five crewmembers.

“He flings pros into the air like skeet, and one by one he shatters them with cons.”

-- John McPhee

What is the implication that might occur if your hopes and dreams are not realized?

The possible implication is, you ultimately fail. Better to not bank on your hopes and dreams. Once you have a firm grasp on reality, you can work hard on your hopes and dreams. In this way, if your hopes and dreams are dashed against some storm wall, you always have reality to fall back on. Success is about being happy in your reality. If hopes and dreams come true, they are just the whipped topping for a life you are already happy in.

“Life is a tragedy when seen in close-up, but a comedy in long-shot,” said Chaplin. Do you agree? Or is it vice versa?

If you see your life as a tragedy, it doesn’t matter how close to it you are. It simply sucks. Whether close or far, however, you should always strive to be happy in your circumstance. But, life is about making choices, so, if life has served you lemons it might be time for you to order up some steak. Make better choices to change your circumstances. If you don’t do this, you are doomed to wallow in your own pit of despair.

Why do people post pictures of their happiness? Why do people think it's necessary to announce their happiness to the whole world rather than keeping it to a few honest people?

Let’s see… I have the choice of watching people announce and enjoy their happiness or listen to the League of the Perpetually Offended wallow in their self-pity. I’ll take the happiness, and hope they spread it far and wide.

"Feel free to get hugely, ridiculously happy about the tiniest little things!"

-- Unknown

Do you believe spirituality manifests in everyday life?

Spirituality is a choice, like happiness. If you choose it, it will manifest itself through you.

Isn’t the “sticks and stones” saying meant to teach people that “criticism and condemnation of their opinions should never hurt them”?

Yes. Criticism and condemnation are simply more opinions, and usually not very constructive. You can’t escape people with opinions. The best you can do is ignore those that you don’t find worth listening to lest you spend all of your time second-guessing yourself.

If you consider yourself to be a master of the art of the polite brush-off, will you share one such example for the benefit of others?

“I’m flattered, but I’m so married.” I’m not, of course, but what they don’t know can’t get me into trouble.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't know you had the authority to judge me... is Jesus hiring?"

-- Unknown

Do you worry about being negatively judged when you speak up or stand for what you believe is right?

No. If I believe I’m right, what others believe is their own business. Most of the time, they are evidence that ignorance is a terrible thing to waste. I am good with that.

What situation would pull you into darkness?

Interrogation of an enemy combatant. It’s pretty much about creativity. A plastic butter knife comes to mind, along with that special place in hell...

What should people be patient about and what shouldn’t people be patient about?

I am anal when it comes to being prompt. When I say I’m going to be there at a certain time, I arrive early. I have no patience when people make me late by not being ready to go. Folks make appointments for a reason, and I blame no one that skips you to move on if you aren’t on time, making you reschedule. By the same token, I hate making an appointment and having to sit in a waiting room for a half-hour. Same reasoning. They assume you have nothing better to do but wait on their inefficiency to catch up with their ego. But, I try not to judge.

“Patience is power.

Patience is not an absence of action;

rather it is "timing"

it waits on the right time to act,

for the right principles

and in the right way.”

-- Fulton J. Sheen

How much do you really care what people think of you? How much of that criticism, whether self-inflicted, directly or indirectly affect you?

I pay attention to what is said, then I critique the individual who said it. Usually, they come up short on reliability. If someone is going to judge me they should rate better than I do in their eyes. I find, most of the time, that people who judge say more about themselves than the people they’re judging. I have learned to ignore all but those closest to me, those that really know me. Ignore the idiots and strive to be happy always!

Is it possible to rip the threads of your mind by listening to or reading the stories and thoughts of those who set out purposefully to destroy other's credibility by slander?

Slander is evidence of a lack of creativity. I rather read stories of people purposefully being destroyed by more creative means. Slander teaches nothing.

What does it mean to be "too stupid to be afraid"?

I don’t skydive. I don’t jump out of a perfectly good aircraft with a parachute I have packed. I don’t trust me. I certainly wouldn’t jump with a chute someone else has packed. If I don’t trust me, then why would I trust them? Did they have a fight with their spouse? Did they drink too much the night before? Do they have an issue with you, or are they domestic terrorists? Oh, and I also wouldn’t even consider jumping attached to another person with questionable life-preservation skills. I have no problem admitting my fear.

“We are all born ignorant, but one must work hard to remain stupid.”

-- Benjamin Franklin

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

A Question of Communication

 

“A million years ago - some hairy bastard daubed a horse on the wall of his cave, he saw it, he drew it - well done! Flash forward: 'Hello, welcome to my vlog. Today I bought a plum”

-- Patrick Marber

Are there any benefits to gossiping? If so, what are they?

Only if you’re listening to it. If you have nothing else to do, gossip gives you a font of information to validate, since a good bit of it is probably blown out of proportion depending on how many people have repeated it before it got to you. You also learn that the gossipers can’t be trusted with anything, even that which isn’t reality.

Do you think that "prayer" is the most powerful strategy for improving your intrapersonal communication? Why or why not?

No, because I’ve known people who pray all the time, and their intrapersonal communication sucks. Prayer might help you strengthen your skills, but if you have poor skills, to begin with, well, good luck with that.

If you acknowledge perception, are you forced to acknowledge a spirit? If you choose only man's perception are you choosing Satan's lie?

Perception: The ability to see, hear or become aware of something through the senses. The state of being or process of becoming aware of something through the senses. A way of regarding, understanding, or interpreting something; a mental impression.

If I “perceive “ something, it doesn’t make it true. It is my own perception of it. We can pay attention to the perception of animals, insects, and plants, in order to better understand nature, but I’m not certain what other perception we’re supposed to give attention to.

The fact that I acknowledge the “spirit” is a perception of things out of the realm of my understanding. It becomes a matter of my faith in a power greater than myself at work in the universe.

Evil is another perception, and accepting that perception is a choice an individual must make, to accept evil into their lives. I perceive evil, yet I choose to keep it at arm’s length in my life. I make a conscious choice for good, and there continues to be balance.

“The world is full of magic things, patiently waiting for our senses to grow sharper.”

-- W.B. Yeats

I don‘t have original thoughts but I live and study in an environment where unique thinking is demanded. How should I act?

Does everybody there ask questions on this site? If not, you’ve had an original thought. Does it matter if they know it? If so, maybe you’re hanging out in the wrong environment. I think what I think, unique or not, no one “demands” that I do it. Demanding is contrary to freedom.

How do you think people could truly understand each other to eliminate prejudice?

As long as only one set of lives matters, this will be a pipe dream. Prejudice ends when we understand that we are all equal under the law. Prejudice ends when greed in our capitols takes a second seat to our understanding that all people have a voice in what happens with constitutions and laws. Prejudice ends when lawmakers remember they work for the people who elected them, and not for their own agendas. What happens when you screw around with the laws of the greatest country in the world in order to make one group more important than another? It becomes not so much. It becomes a recipe for revolution.

Are humans meant for change or to remain static?

Change is the only constant in the universe. Nothing is truly static, especially not humans. A mind is a terrible thing to waste.

“Our problem isn't that we're individualists. It's that our individualism is static rather than dynamic. We value what we think rather than what we do. We forget that we haven't done, or been, what we thought; that the first function of life is action, just as the first property of things is motion.”

-- Fernando Pessoa

Do you have any respect for God's level?

As a deist, far be it for me to ever disrespect God. Since God sits at the very top of His creation, how do you not respect that?

What do you think the quotation “If no one thinks you can, then you have to.” means?

You don’t really have to take that dare, but it simply means that you shouldn't let others tell you what you’re capable of. If someone thinks I can’t drink an entire 1.75-liter bottle of bourbon, I’m certainly not going to prove I can. That would just be stupid. The answer I would have for them is, “You first.” After the ambulance leaves with them due to alcohol poisoning, there will be no reason for me to comply. If no one thinks you can do something, you have a choice to agree with them, applaud their attempt to do it, or show them you can. It is your choice, not theirs, and it should never be theirs.

Why is competition said to be inherently Impersonal?

Because the people saying it are naive. Competition is inherently personal. You are competing against others, or yourself, for a reason. Usually, that reason has to do with proving something to yourself or to others. How can that not be personal?  Of course, there's always an "economics" definition:

"Competition represents a kind of impersonal coercion that will cause many individuals to change their behavior in a way that could not be brought about by any kind of instructions or commands."

-- F.A. Hayek

What are your thoughts on this saying successful people are always looking for opportunities to help others. Unsuccessful people are always asking, "What's in it for me?"

My thought would be to remove the word “always” and replace it with “usually.”

What does it mean for someone to say “you’re too easily brainwashed by what the media or society tells you”?

You’re naive. You’re also mentally too weak to recognize or defy the brainwashing. We all have to do our own due diligence when we are told something that makes little sense. The media is constantly milking society’s propensity for naivete in order to try and boost ratings. They either ultimately fail, or they have a base filled with naive morons, or both. I choose both. 

Can you sum up success in a few words?

Accomplishing a goal. There you have it, in a “few” words.

“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” 

-- Winston Churchill

What are the different perspectives of quality?

This is a tough one, but I'll give it a shot.  You can have no quality, poor quality, average quality, above-average quality, and the perfection which few people, if any, can claim. Of course, these are just my perspectives.

What is the definition of alertness, strength, discipline, and focus?

A robust life.

Why do people associate negative as being bad or positive as being good?

Positivity rarely does harm, whereas negativity has the very likely probability of doing harm. Both offer an opportunity for learning, which is always a good thing if we recognize the opportunity and use it to great benefit.

“Here is a universal law: that when it comes to negative and positive, you will always thrive more powerfully in the positive if you have first been immersed in, and have heroically overcome, the polar opposite negative of that thing. To abide in the positive existence of something, without having known and overcome its polar opposite— that is to be only a frame of the real structure. Easily toppled down and taken apart. True power is in the hands of the one who thrives in the positive, after having known and conquered the negative. Because when the demons come along, she will say to those demons: “I know you, I have owned you, but now you bow down to me.”

-- C. JoyBell C.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.