Questioning Passion, Change, Arrogance, and Control

 

What do you think of “If you don’t find your passion in your paycheck, go find it somewhere else” as journalist Sara Hines said?

If making money doesn’t satiate your passion in life, screw the money and go find that passion. True happiness is real, sustainable, success. Few people really ever find it, until they get older and wiser.

Why when I woke up to the evils of this world did I completely lose touch with myself? Why did I realize just how evil people were? It's like a spiritual awakening. Why are they trying to steal the good in me?

It is another test life throws at us. Are you up for it? Life is full of these tests. Many of us never realize what they are, but some wake up to the realization and work toward making life better. It is a “spiritual awakening” that will help you move forward into the next life. Have some fun with it and strive to be truly happy always and in all things, even this.

What is the best way to revenge in life?

There is no “best” way. Karma will always hunt you down and make you pay. Two wrongs don’t make it right. 

Don't you feel that there was a stage in which 40 was old and then 40 was young and now you are old again prematurely like 30 because young people are making money with the internet and learning about life in it and therefore not waiting to be older?

I am so retired and really don’t think about things like this. I started feeling old at 50, but I made the choice to strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of my financial or personal status. You are as young as you want to be, and when you find that to be difficult, laugh. I’ve learned so much in this life, and I’m really looking forward to the next great adventure. Such is life!

My profession is a footballer and a student. What is success? Why do I need success in my life?

True success is true happiness. Everything else is attaining goals. Everyone needs true happiness in their life because anything else simply sucks.

“You will never be happy if you continue to search for what happiness consists of. You will never live if you are looking for the meaning of life.”

-- Albert Camus

What gives people the nerve to try to come back after leaving and hurting you? I improved myself in so many ways, physically, mentally, and financially on my own and it’s showing. I’m happy with where I am! And I’m getting a lot of good attention.

They have the nerve because they don’t understand that you’ve grown beyond them. I would tell them this and advise them that you have little use for people who leave after hurting you. Thank them for thinking they can come back into your life to do it all over again, tell them to go screw off and have a nice day while doing it.

Do you ever wish you had a different life than the one you are living now (different house, lifestyle, friends, job, place, hobbies)? If yes, what would you want your life to look like?

I had a different life, for 25 years, with a woman who admitted she never loved me. No, I have been truly happy with this “new” life for the past 22 years. I think I’ll keep it. 

How do you change a person’s behavior which you dislike yet you found them that way?

What makes you feel your behavior is so much better for them? Were they happy when you found them? If so, leave them alone. What is good and proper for one is not necessarily good and proper for others. You can tell them how you feel but it is not your place to lay your values on them. Judge not lest you be judged.

What was your biggest regret in selecting the location of your retirement condo or home?

Hurricanes. I live in paradise, for most of the year. I live on pins and needles for the rest.

Have you ever thought about why you need problems? And that your answer is why do you need problems?

Yes! And I decided to keep all unwanted drama from my life. We just don’t need to constantly slog through all of the elephant shit life tries to throw at us. Better to choose to be truly happy always and in all things. Let the League of the Perpetually Miserable deal with the drama.

“People don't want their lives fixed. Nobody wants their problems solved. Their dramas. their distractions. Their stories resolved. Their messes cleaned up. Because what would they have left? Just the big scary unknown.”

-- Chuck Palahniuk

What are the 2 types of judgment?

Deserved and undeserved. Right and wrong. Good and bad. Just and unjust. Lenient and severe. 

What is the difference between being wise, intelligent, and clever?

Clever is the purview of the smart, and intelligence is no guarantee of wisdom. Rare is the person who is both smart and intelligent. Wisdom comes from living life, making mistakes, failing, succeeding, and learning. Wisdom is the best mixture of being clever, smart, and intelligent. Wisdom is rare because It is a rare person who has a good balance of all three. 

How can you define a person who has a high status in society?

How many people respect what they do or have to say.

Why are wealthy powerful elites not satisfied with what they have and cause instability to the economy?

Greed. If they’re causing instability to the economy, you can bet they’re going to make a bundle off of doing it. It is, after all, what they do to stay wealthy and elite. Why would you cut off your nose to spite your face? They don’t. 

We all have to bend and break the rules sometimes. When have you broken the rules to accomplish a goal?

All the time in the military. Rules are meant to be broken or bent. Rules are simply guidelines that keep us on the straight and narrow. Every now and then, however, a situation comes along that the rules don’t really work for or apply to. Through trial and error, we find a better way and rewrite the rules, or write new ones. This is why, in the military, we have “rewrite conferences” to keep the regulations up with our needs and understanding. Regulations that don’t grow tend to hold us back.

“The first rule on breaking a rule is to know everything about the rule.”

-- Nuno Roque

Can arrogance be a strength?

It can be a strength and a curse. The strength is that your arrogance makes you think you can conquer the world. The curse is that your arrogance makes you think you can conquer the world.

What causes some people to behave like arrogant know-it-alls when they are teaching others?

Ego. If they’re teaching others, they’ve really earned the right. But, just because they earned the right to do something, doesn’t mean they have to act like an ass and actually do it. There is something called “earning respect” which is so different than “earning the right” when it comes to teaching… or any other aspect of real life. They can be the ass nobody looks up to, or they can be the well-respected teacher. What’s your pleasure?

What is the importance of emotional self-control in delaying gratification and stifling impulsiveness?

Knee-jerk reactions rarely end well. Given enough time, it is always better to think things through, weighing the options, before working toward an intelligent solution. 

How do you live with a know-it-all?

Do they know it all, or are they spouting bullshit to make it sound like they do? Personally, I couldn’t live with it. I’d have to advise them that they have the God-given right to shut the hell up, and then explain why. Ego is a horrible thing, especially if you waste it on people who could care less.

When will narcissists reveal their greatest fears?

Admit weakness? Probably never. 

“Narcissists will never tell you the truth. They live with the fear of abandonment and can't deal with facing their own shame. Therefore, they will twist the truth, downplay their behavior, blame others and say whatever it takes to remain the victim. They are master manipulators and con artists that don't believe you are smart enough to figure out the depth of their disloyalty. Their needs will always be more important than telling you any truth that isn't in their favor.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Is it true that one can know a lot about another by observing who that person admires?

Not necessarily. I admire many “intelligent” people, but, if you want to know a lot about me, check out the “smart” people I hang around with. 

What is your favorite old saying or adage about gratitude?

“You give loyalty, you'll get it back. You give love, you'll get it back.” — Tommy Lasorda

By this way of thinking, whatever you give, you will get back, including gratitude.

What successes have you had in life so far?

I have attained many goals. About 20 years ago, I found true happiness always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. Since then, I have had true, sustainable, success. 

Do you agree that thoughts lead to feelings that lead to actions?

For the most part, yes. Sometimes action is not warranted.

Is one's family moving constantly in childhood detrimental, on balance, to a child's emotional growth?

Military families move all the time, and the children seem better-rounded and able to handle change.

"A military family's roots are in their family, not a place."

-- Unknown

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com