Questioning Suicide, God, Ethics, and Purpose

 

“Never use the word “cheap”. Today everybody can look chic in inexpensive clothes (the rich buy them too). There is good clothing design on every level today. You can be the chicest thing in the world in a T-shirt and jeans — it’s up to you.”

-- Karl Lagerfeld

How many people will have the exact same clothing as you if it has a Nike or Adidas label on it?

No one. I wear quality, not a brand. I have bought Nike and Adidas, and I was less than impressed by how long they lasted before falling apart. I found the same problem with Sketchers as the soles separate from the shoe. If you aren’t purchasing for quality, who are you trying to impress? When an $11 shoe from Walmart outlasts brand names that cost so much more, who are you impressing, other people who buy “crap” for the brand name?

During a passive disagreement, what does he mean when he says “I had a life before you”?

“I had a life before you, and I can go back to that life, no problem. I don’t need this shit I’m taking from you.”

Why do humans consider suicide an option in life (there are many confirmed cases in the 21st century)?

If they aren’t suffering from painful cancer that is going to kill them in short order, then they mistakenly think it accomplishes something. The League of the Perpetually Offended will state that I’m full of shit. If they really believe this then they should immediately off themselves. But, they won’t, for two reasons: Because they know I’m right, and they really don’t want to die.

Suicide accomplishes nothing but shortens the line of those in real need who actually want the help to survive what they’re going through. Suicide is a way of saying you’ve given up the fight. The suicidal think it will teach those, who caused it, a lesson. The people who caused the suicide really don’t give a shit. Who ultimately suffers, then? Friends and family who think they failed the victim in some way. No, I don’t buy into that. Let’s put responsibility where it belongs. The ones who fail are the ones who choose suicide over fighting for their right to survive. Life is about making good choices and decisions. If someone caused you grief in life, then choose to rise above it, because the longer you spend in misery, the longer they continue to win by keeping you there. Choose to fight. Choose to survive. Choose to rise above your misery, and choose to win.

We are our destiny and we make the choices and decisions that drive our life or our death. We can let others make those choices and decisions for us, or we can wrest control from them and make our life. The choice is ours, not theirs. If nobody cares if you live or die, it is probably because you don’t care. You have to love yourself so others can love you.

Make the choice to rise above all the bullshit in your life. Make the choice to control who and what you really want to be. Make the choice to live. Your life is important, but you need to understand that, we can’t force you to understand.  I almost made the biggest mistake of my life, but I made a better choice.  We can all make better choices.  Start by choosing to live

Why is it perfectly fine to want to be alone during all of your free time?

It is, after all, your free time, so you should be able to determine how you spend it.

What are 3 ways you will show honesty?

By being open, trustworthy, and truthful. Honesty is all about displaying integrity in all aspects of life. It is about developing a personal code of ethics and, most importantly, standing by that code, no matter what.

“It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”

-- Noël Coward

I'm a huge failure, a dropout, I'm broke, I'm untalented, nothing I do ever works, another day is just a monotonous day and all my dreams and goals will never be achieved, at this point, what's the purpose of living exactly?

Living. I wake up every morning. This, alone, is enough purpose. Everything else is just gravy. Failure and mistakes are simply opportunities placed in front of us to rise above. Everything we do, our life, our destiny, is all about the choices and decisions we make for life. I would suggest making different choices and decisions. Find a purpose. Volunteer. Do something selfless for others.

With everything you’ve written, as bad as life seems to be, you have not chosen to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. I would think that everything you’ve stated is not why you’re here. If living isn’t enough for you, then find your purpose. Look harder, because not living simply sucks.

What is your favorite old saying or adage about gratitude?

“You give loyalty, you'll get it back. You give love, you'll get it back.” — Tommy Lasorda

By this way of thinking, whatever you give, you will get back, including gratitude.

How do you care again, after everything inside you has been ruined? I blindly let him take everything away all the good feelings and dreams are gone I don’t have the energy to do anything how do I gain my heart and good feelings back?

When I was 47 years of age, my ex-wife took everything, including my children. I lost my reason for living, after 25 years of marriage. Like you said, everything inside me was ruined. My happiness and dreams were destroyed. I found myself at the edge of the precipice, ready and willing to end it all. For what purpose?

My first thought was that I’d show her. Let her live with my death on her conscience. But, by her own actions and admissions, she has no conscience. My children would see a father who wasn’t strong enough. My parents would suffer the most. Why? Because of her? Or, was it because I wasn’t strong enough to rise above it and start over again?

How do I climb out of my pit of despair? I looked up, found my faith, and wept like a baby. When I was done, I had chosen to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. Nothing is worth giving up life for. I made a choice for my life. And, because it was a conscious choice I had no plans to go back on, it was sustainable. I chose sustainable happiness. This is true success, everything else is simply attaining goals. Success is about being truly happy always and pissing off those who would try to keep you down.

It took me about five years, moral support from family and good friends, and taking control of my finances and my happiness. I met good women, had good times, and made good memories for the first time in a quarter of a century. What you need to do is make a choice for your life.

How young is your way?

22 years. I found my life, my path, in 2000, when I was 47 years old. As I approach 70 years of age, I have not looked back. I have made the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. I still stand by my choice.

How do you trust God in difficult times?

I don’t worry about trusting my God. I trust my faith.

“You say to God, 'I have never seen you provide for me.' God says to you, 'You have never trusted Me.'”

-- Corallie Buchanan

What should I do with my past relationship?

It’s in the past. Learn from it and move on.

What is the better option, kill me or run away from home?

Runaway from home. Options are still open for you. When you’re dead, what are your options? Something to think about. Heck, you’ll probably find yourself right back here, learning the lessons you refuse to learn. Call it your personal hell on earth. Karma is a vicious mistress. 

Does loving someone and doing something considered crazy but not necessarily bad make you look dumb in their sight?

Yes, but, if you’re comfortable with who you are, you really don’t care. I do dumb stuff all the time and laugh at myself more than others. We are, after all, only human.

Is it unethical to make a profit when dealing with family?

No, and be sure they sign a contract. This is a learning experience. You’re teaching the family that there’s no such thing as a free lunch. My girlfriend was going to loan her son some money, and I suggested a contract. She asked why and I explained and handed her a simple contract to repay a loan over a set time, with a killer percentage to make it attractive and his motorcycle as collateral. Her son learned something about finance and family. Now, she is a firm believer in having a contract. Don’t mix money with family or friends. It is mixing oil with water. The contract keeps everything at the level of business.

How do you know when a person is using emotions to pass a judgment?

They can’t state a reasonable cause for their judgment. They are emotional when discussing it. And, as usual, someone passing judgment usually has more issues than the person they judge.

“Never judge someone's character based on the words of another. Instead, study the motives behind the words of the person casting the bad judgment. An honest woman can sell tangerines all day and remain a good person until she dies, but there will always be naysayers who will try to convince you otherwise. Perhaps this woman did not give them something for free, or at a discount. Perhaps too, that she refused to stand with them when they were wrong — or just stood up for something she felt was right. And also, it could be that some bitter women are envious of her, or that she rejected the advances of some very proud men. Always trust your heart. If the Creator stood before a million men with the light of a million lamps, only a few would truly see him because truth is already alive in their hearts. Truth can only be seen by those with truth in them. He who does not have Truth in his heart will always be blind to her.”

-- Suzy Kassem

He went from wanting to marry me to hating me. What happened? We got into one big fight & now he says that he hates everything about me & I'm not the person for him. Why would he not fight for this? We had something so amazing!

Amazing? Obviously not. You might have thought so, but he seems to have other thoughts. You are better off having found this out about him now before you screwed up your life. Take heart, though, there are so many better guys out there.

How do I know if I'm too ugly to get a girlfriend?

Ask an ugly girl out for a date?

Why are people dissociating more and more from society?

Have you actually seen the state of our society? Crime is rampant due to liberal politics, criminals are celebrated due to liberal politics, children are being taught nothing in school due to liberal politics, we have no border to protect us due to liberal politics, inflation is out of hand due to liberal politics, the price of gasoline has skyrocketed due to liberal politics, and socialism is corrupting everything in its path due to, you guessed it, liberal politics.

What do we really fight for in this life?

Freedom and happiness.

How do you realize your decision is the best before seeing the result?

Trial and error. You can only make the best decision you can. The result, however, may not reflect your decision. There is no guarantee that any decision will be right until the results are in. We can only make the best choices and decisions we can base on past experiences, failures, trials, and errors. Plan for the best, but be prepared for chaos.

"If you obsess over whether you are making the right decision, you are basically assuming that the universe will reward you for one thing and punish you for another.

The universe has no fixed agenda. Once you make any decision, it works around that decision. There is no right or wrong, only a series of possibilities that shift with each thought, feeling, and action that you experience."

-- Deepak Chopra

What’s one fact you offer to life and your existence?

Change is the only true constant in the universe. Be prepared for it, always.

Do you understand your purpose in life? What is it?

To understand and establish real happiness. Everything else, work, hobbies, relationships, drama, etc., are all based on discovering this. 

What do you do when you still love your ex and you want him to tell you first?

Wait. It’s what gluttons for punishment do.

What do you think are the reasons why you feel younger than your actual age?

23 years in the military doing weekly calisthenics so we could meet the annual weight and strength requirements.

What are the most effective methods for supporting the intellectual growth of a four-year-old child?

Field trips. Get them involved in seeing all that is the world. Museums, aquariums, parks, anything that will pique their interest. I was lucky enough to grow up in an area that had all of this, and more. I was into archeology, geology, paranormal research, art, music, religions, and all before I ever hit high school.

"What is Strange and disconcerting about Jesus is the fact that he rarely makes demands. The style of teaching he engages in is not rote on memorization or indoctrination but Socratic, propositional and inductive. The listener is invited to explore and come to a conclusion. It is the desire of Christ for his audience to reach a conclusion and not be told what to think. 

Stories, sayings, reversals, parables, and other forms of teaching used by Jesus are not good teaching tools for people who seek simplistic answers. Jesus teaches but requires more of a listener. We are invited to join the journey, wrestle with our assumptions, confront our spiritual bigotry and struggle with the humbling mystery and profound profundity of God."

-- Otis Moss II

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com