Questioning Dominance, Love, Lust, and Life

 

“Sex is as important as eating or drinking and we ought to allow the one appetite to be satisfied with as little restraint or false modesty as the other.”

-- Marquis de Sade

In what ways do you consider yourself to be a ‘do it yourself person?

I grew up with my dad showing me how to do things, then I got into drafting, art, woodcarving, and now I take care of two households. I do as much of the plumbing, electrical, and fencing, as I can. An occasional door lock, filter changes, and floor replacement. The military was a self-help paradise when it came to redecorating offices, moving walls, and running electrical. I am able to do much, but a master at very little.

How can you know that don't know something?

Because the “something” is different than what I know. I don’t know you, but I know that I don’t know you.

Do your little bit of good where you are; it's those little bits of good put together that overwhelm the world. — Desmond Tutu. What are your thoughts on this statement?

It is as profound as these:

“It’s not how much we give but how much love we put into giving.” 

-- Saint Teresa

“I don’t do great things. I do small things with great love.” 

-- Saint Teresa

How can you buy time? Does buying time make you happier than buying items?

Time is a human construct and, as such really doesn’t exist except to give structure to life. I see no reason to pay for the next moment since it will happen anyway, as will the moment after that, and so on. These are free moments I will look forward to.

If I choose to spend that “free” moment utilizing anything, I am buying items. If I pay for the next moment, I am buying it from someone. Whatever we purchase, it is an item. An item of time, an item of service, an item of food, and if you buy into the construct of “time” you have bought that item, as well.

Since ”time” is free, I am only buying items. I only buy items that I need or want, and those have to make me happier.

As an individual, what are your roles in team building and team performance?

As an individual, unless I’m supervising the team, I have no role. As a supervisor, however, my responsibility would be to pick the best-qualified people for the team, ensure they meet timelines, call meetings as needed, and quality control their performance and what they produce.

Quote which could change our life?

Dalai Lama XIV thinks the way I do:

“Every day, think as you wake up, today I am fortunate to be alive, I have a precious human life, I am not going to waste it. I am going to use all my energies to develop myself, to expand my heart out to others; to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all beings. I am going to have kind thoughts towards others, I am not going to get angry or think badly about others. I am going to benefit others as much as I can.”

-- Dalai Lama XIV

What don't you absolutely lack in your life? Why?

Happiness! I certainly don’t lack happiness. Why? Because the alternative simply sucks, in my opinion. Why would you want to wallow in a pit of misery? No, Striving to be happy always and in all things is the only route forward.

Does personal growth imply accepting one's current situation even if it is far from being satisfactory?

Accepting a situation implies not making it better. Owning the situation implies you screwed up and are looking to improve the situation. There is no “personal growth” in simply accepting an unsatisfactory situation. You need to learn why you went wrong by critiquing what you did and trying again. Mistakes are nothing more than an opportunity to learn, grow from the lesson, and continue forward.

I have lost my faith in humanity, and it made me lose my motivation to keep going. What should I do?

Why are you asking this question if you have no motivation? If you lost your faith, you’ve lost hope. If you’ve lost hope, then what’s the point? You're the cat, with 9 lives, on the 12th story ledge of a building contemplating suicide, not realizing you have to jump 8 more times in order to attain your goal of ending up back on the ledge, yet again… because you’re not a cat, and this is your personal hell for committing suicide.

If I were you, I’d find the faith I’ve lost and rekindle the hope within. Screw humanity. You need to take care of yourself, first. You can’t save humanity from itself, you can only save what you can save, so work on that.

I have faith that humanity will continue to be the same clueless dumbasses they’ve always been, like pigs looking at a wristwatch. But, I have a modicum of hope that they will, sooner or later, understand.

“Loss is like a wind, it either carries you to a new destination or it traps you in an ocean of stagnation. You must quickly learn how to navigate the sail, for stagnation is death.”

-- Val Uchendu

How important is it to keep New Year's resolutions?

I’ve never kept one, and I’ve made many. I would be better off had I made a serious attempt. Watch my weight, watch my marriage, watch my morals. I’ve watched all of them… as they tanked. As you get older, you get so much wiser, because you’ve endured loss. Because you paid attention and did nothing. Now, you are older and wiser, but that doesn’t lose the tire, save the marriage, or help to recoup your morals. But, you have wisdom, though, and that alone is worth the journey.

What’s something you know you need to do but aren’t looking forward to at all?

The COVID booster shot, or a colonoscopy. It’s a toss-up.

Sometimes whenever I'm out in public, a couple pass by and tell me that I'm a very ugly girl, it's the man that says these things while he's with his girlfriend. Does this mean I could be hideous or something?

First of all, he’s an asshole. Second of all, he just verbally assaulted you. I’d kick him very hard in the nads. If the girlfriend comes at you, inform her she’s next. As he’s throwing up you can inform him how mature men treat real women, and maybe he should find one since a real woman wouldn't be seen with the likes of him. That’s a twofer. You inform himof his immaturity and slam her in the same sentence. If he threatens you while he’s throwing up, kick him in the nads again. Inform his girlfriend that she should find better, because he won’t have sex for several weeks.

Or, better yet, you can learn to ignore the rude assholes in this world. They really aren’t worth your efforts. Thank him for his total lack of maturity, smile, give the girlfriend the finger, and walk away, or, better yet, skip… and sing a song.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!"

-- Brennan Huff

My man is 27 and I am 20. Do you think it can work out?

I’ve seen it work out for more than double that difference. It depends on the two of you and how mature you are about the relationship.

How do you define "ambition"?

Depends on what she looks like.

I think I love someone, but I never think of them in a sexual way. What does it mean?

They’re your sibling?

“Love is blind, they say; sex is impervious to reason and mocks the power of all philosophers. But, in fact, a person's sexual choice is the result and sum of their fundamental convictions. Tell me what a person finds sexually attractive and I will tell you their entire philosophy of life. Show me the person they sleep with and I will tell you their valuation of themselves. No matter what corruption they're taught about the virtue of selflessness, sex is the most profoundly selfish of all acts, an act which they cannot perform for any motive but their own enjoyment - just try to think of performing it in a spirit of selfless charity! - an act which is not possible in self-abasement, only in self-exultation, only on the confidence of being desired and being worthy of desire. It is an act that forces them to stand naked in spirit, as well as in body, and accept their real ego as their standard of value. They will always be attracted to the person who reflects their deepest vision of themselves, the person whose surrender permits them to experience - or to fake - a sense of self-esteem .. Love is our response to our highest values - and can be nothing else.”

-- Ayn Rand

Does "unintended happiness" even make sense?

Yes, and again, I can’t remember her name.

What's the one thing you stopped using for its designated purpose and figured it would suit you to use it for something else?

A ping-pong paddle.

What do you do when your ex tells you he loves you after 23 years?

Run.

“Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back.”

-- Stephan Labossiere

What item have you broken in anger that you regret?

My marriage.

Why do some people keep their life and possessions minimal?

We’ve experienced nasty divorces. 

What does a person do when they witness someone being a pig in the buffet line?

“Jeeze, dude! You gonna leave some for the rest of us?”

"I’ll do a buffet, but I don’t consider that civilized dining; it is feeding, and I like to sit down at a well-set table."

-- Julia Child

Is it wise to expect high standards from people?

Only if you want to be constantly let down. It is wise not to “expect” anything, and to be pleasantly surprised when they perform well. 

How do I follow my head and not my heart?

Fall in lust, and stay the hell away from love?

Do you believe suffering serves no purpose in our lives or is there true power yet to be fully understood in suffering? Is there a balance between too much and too little suffering?

Suffering is an opportunity to learn lessons. It is up to the individual to find the balance between too much and too little. It’s all about how much you are willing to deal with, especially if you relish domination.

"It is only by way of pain one arrives at pleasure"

-- Marquis de Sade

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com