Accidental Valor

CAUTION:  What you about to read is considered by the author, me, to be a random act of bloviating.  Continue at your own peril, or run away.

How do you live with plotting the probable nuclear destruction of millions of innocent women and children? For starters you make sure it never has to become a reality. How do you ensure it doesn't? You can bring your best poker face to the table, or ensure the enemy absolutely knows, without doubt, your resolve to mercilessly annihilate them by constantly reminding them you are the biggest and baddest SOB on the planet by your actions.  Teddy Roosevelt’s early 1900’s policy of “speak softly, but a big stick” just doesn't have the psychological impact of showing the world you carry a Dillon M134D Gatling Gun so you can respond with 3000 rounds per minute of patriotic resolve.  Who talks this way?

I didn't use to; I was a conservative hippy wannabe of the late 1960s, early 70s era with all of the, you know... peace, love, dope, roll another one just like the other one, don't Bogart that joint my friend, yadda, yadda, yadda.  That was before I was drafted and decided to join the Air Force.  Want a wakeup call?  Get involved with military intelligence and learn the stuff no one else knows.  Some of the information you learn can change your opinion politically, and morally.  It can tighten your sphincter to the point of redefining the term "pucker factor" for the rest of your life.

The Air Force isn't built to fight on the ground.  As the name would evidence, we take the fight to the air and carpet bomb the ground until it looks like the moon.  When I was in, we also planned out the targets for hundreds of nuclear missiles strikes and joked about being responsible for the lives of millions of innocent women and children.  Post Traumatic Stress is not just found on the battlefield.  PTSD finds you sitting on the couch in your underwear at 2:00 a.m., wondering if the blast from the target you plotted missed the population center; was your plot better than the allowed tolerances?  And there are the pilots which have to deliver this weapon of mass destruction.  PTSD?  Thank God we never had to prove our resolve.  

There is a notion that if our citizens pay for the gathered intelligence information, they deserve to see it.  Knowing what I came to learn, I became part of the school that firmly believes there is information you don't want to know, things you don't want to see, and disavowed Black Ops at work ensuring you enjoy that peaceful night with your family and friends.  You really don't want to know what they do.  Be satisfied and comforted in the knowledge that someone has the courage, the big Inconel 625 cojones, to do it.

There is also a question of whether what these people do is legal, lawful, moral, or even necessary.  Are you alive, speaking English, and free?  If so, thank God; shake the hand of a proud U.S. military vet.  If you don't feel the gratitude, that is the right of opinion they fought, and died, for you to have, but you might want to consider saving face by simply closing your pie hole.  Go shopping with your family feeling relatively safe in the notion that someone has paid, and is paying, for your precious freedoms by accepting a probable sentence in hell from almighty God for the actions they take to ensure you get to eat that Big Mac in peace, but don't whine about the actions of a few good men and women of whom, and what, you have no concept.

"Son, we live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's gonna do it? You? You, Lt. Weinburg? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for Santiago, and you curse the Marines. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That Santiago's death, while tragic, probably saved lives. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves lives. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall, you need me on that wall. We use words like honor, code, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post."

-- Colonel Jessup, "A Few Good Men" (1992)

I considered this a strongly acted tirade by Jack Nicholson as Col. Jessup. I think the last time I was riveted to a speech like this was the one given by George C. Scott portraying Gen. George S. Patton, Jr. in Patton. But, is Col. Jessup correct? To a point, I think yes.

The point of the case depicted in the movie, as I see it, rests with excusing the death of a young Marine under the guise of honor, code, and loyalty; words and ideals which Jessup and the defendants clearly ignored in the eyes of The U.S. Military Code of Conduct and, thence, The Uniform Code of Military Justice (UCMJ).  Even the military has laws to protect us from ourselves and from illegal or unconscionable orders.

The philosophy Jessup espouses of why "those walls have to be guarded by men with guns" is, in my opinion, correct and more to the point.  We need them and, if we want to admit it or not, we want them there.  Hey, better them than you, right?  After all, your taxes pay for their bravery, even if it doesn't pay for the aftermath of service; damage incurred to them mentally and physically for which a,, in all probability, quick patch is applied prior to farming the wounded warrior out to pasture.  But, then, this also should be of no concern, should it, with Obamacare and all.  They carry, and oft times publicly display, these wounds as they do their metals, all rewards for a job well done.  

Whether a soldier sees combat, the mere fact they have signed away their life for the good of the many, or the few, is already an act of accidental valor.  I say "accidental" because most of them don't realize they have already become heroes to many of us, a hero which they will forever be in denial of.  These are our national pride, our children, our sons and daughters, fathers and mothers, our grandparents and great grandparents, our friends.  These are our accidental heroes which display daily, acts of accidental valor.  It might be planned, but more frequently we discover they simply found themselves being in the wrong place at the right time.

These are heroes all, patriots of a grateful nation.  God bless them, and God bless the United States of America. 

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

My Sunday Thought for 1/31/16: Middle Ground

middle ground  

noun 

1. an intermediate position, area, or recourse between two opposites or extremes; a halfway or neutral standpoint. 

2. middle distance. 

3. Nautical. a length of comparatively shallow water having channels on both sides.

All the definitions for "middle ground" seem to mean essentially the same thing.  When it comes to relationships, the "halfway" or "neutral" standpoint comes into play.   I have never been a fan of the neutral standpoint.  It is noncommittal and evidences fear to take a stand one way or the other.  Taking the "halfway" stand at least lets everyone know your opinion, yet allows you to meet them "halfway" in order to accomplish a common goal.  Meeting someone halfway requires some give and take from both sides.  It is a balancing of what everyone wants in order to accomplish something which is good for everyone.

I recently came across this note beside the name of a Catholic priest on an emergency call list:  "Do not call Father X during the night, and not at all unless it is one of his congregation!"  As a minister for religious tolerance I found this note troubling.  This is the type of comment which drove me from the Catholic Church, and mainstream Christianity as a whole.  For "Father X" there is a schedule for his Christianity, and there is a limit to his tolerance for those of other congregations, much less of other faiths.  It seems to me the priest is making it very clear, "There is only so much I can do, and you're not in my congregation, so you can just die without Last Rites.  I cannot be bothered with you."  Father 'X' chooses when it is appropriate to shirk his voluntarily dedicated responsibility to humanity and God.  It makes one wonder how we would have fared if Christ had taken the same tact.  He wouldn't have died on the cross for all of us, which would seem fairly certain.

Father X walks proudly down that submerged sandbar of shallow "Christian" attitudes hidden behind the thin veil of an intolerant definition of Christianity.  I have met these priests before, and their faith allows them an ego, control over a flock, a roof over their head, and an escape, as they see fit, from their true Christian responsibilities as a "man of the cloth."  He refuses to dive into the good side, to become fully vested in his chosen righteousness, and thereby risks falling into the other side which is populated by all the sharks of sin which one's ego allows to swim around them like welcomed friends.  These are the priests, ministers, and assorted clergy who build multimillion dollar cathedrals while allowing the poor to starve and go homeless, embezzle church funds, diddle little boys, frequent whore houses, cheat on their wives, smoke and become alcoholics.  They're the clergy which will deny their faith to save their own ass.  They're the clergy that preach vehemently against, yet readily fall prey to, the Seven Deadly Sins.  They are no better than the congregation they serve, but aren't they supposed to be?  Aren't they supposed to set the example?

So, where does this leave the idea of "middle ground" when it comes to Christianity?  Can a minister of God choose when and where to walk in the footsteps of Christ?  Can they pick and choose who they will show charity to and who they will condemn to hell?  I see in this attitude a revisiting of Christianity to the Dark Ages when Christian corruption and sin reigned supreme, the Church coffers were the golden idols used to wage war to fill those same coffers, and heresy was loosely interpreted by a Church which investigated and punished through unspeakable tortures, all in the name of God.  Middle ground?  I wonder.

Maybe this is something to consider as you watch your clergy, this Sunday, railing from the pulpit about the evils of sin and the benefits of charity.  Do you really know where they stand, and do they practice what they preach?

What do I know?  I'm a self-admitted sinner and hypocrite, trying to do the best I can, with what I have, to help others along their path.  I have no expectations of salvation, at least not in this life, but, then again, I have not taken a sacred vow.  I just expect more from those that do.

Of course, as always, this is just an opinion.  I could be wrong.  

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

   

Who You Are

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

-- Marianne Williamson, spiritual and inspirational speaker and author

"Where you're from determines who you are." Heard this commercial? Who comes up with this pseudo psychobabble? If we accept this, then if you grow up in the ghetto, you are, therefore, the ghetto. You're from a welfare family, therefore you'll always be on welfare. You're a white from Mississippi; therefore you must be a bigot. If you're a gang banger, you'll always be a gang banger, right?  Bullshit.

You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.

-- Maya Angelou

Who and what you want to be determines who you are.  What you've done in your life, or want to do, determines who you are, not your circumstances, not the media, and certainly not an agenda pushed by a political party that promises what they never intend to deliver in order to keep you down so they'll continue to have a large, ignorant, voting base.  Where you're from is simply the beginning of your path, just as where you are going will be the end.

"You're on your own.
And you know what you know.
And YOU are the one who'll decide where to GO..."

-- Dr. Seuss

The most important attribute each of us is born with is choice.  We have the ability to choose who and what we wish to be.  Our freedom of choice is something no one can take from us.  If the Holocaust teaches us anything it would be the human capacity to choose whether to live free or die.  We have the moral fortitude to choose not to live as slaves.  It is one attribute that guarantees mankind will never willingly submit to evil.

You are the sum total of everything you've ever seen, heard, eaten, smelled, been told, forgot - it's all there. Everything influences each of us, and because of that I try to make sure that my experiences are positive.

-- Maya Angelou

Anyone who believes that where you're from determines who you are will always be lost.  They will always be a victim of their own inaction and never become more than they are.  They will always be the slave of some gang, some heretical extremist religious cult, some credit company, some state aid or federal aid agency (aka, welfare), someone's lapdog, someone's... bitch, someone else's idea of who they should be.  Basically, they will remain a victim of everything they should be trying to escape.  But, then, it has become a well understood fact that you can't cure stupid, the afflicted have to want to change, and as long as they are offered a way to remain complacent burdens on society, they will continue to delude themselves that they are anything but.  You can't save people from themselves.  Like any other addiction, being something less than your potential is just, well... easier.

If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

-- Maya Angelou

There are those that will read this and become inflamed over my comments, instead of looking passed the comments to see who and what they are.  They will say, "But, I'm trying."  Are you holding down three part-time jobs?  "The schools aren't offering me, or my children, the education to better our lot."  Are you making them, or yourself, learn at home, or is the computer for email and playing games?  "I need the food stamps or we'll starve."  And the entirety of your basket at checkout is comprised of healthy foodstuffs?

The measure of who we are is what we do with what we have.

-- Vince Lombardi

Presidential candidate Ben Carson offers us some insight into what a poor, fairly illiterate, mother can accomplish, with very little, when her priorities are in proper alignment.  She can work her fingers to the bone as an example to her children.  She can ensure they toe the line in school.  And, she can offer the world a renowned neurosurgeon and political candidate for change.   She can accomplish wonders, for the betterment of mankind, albeit unknown to her at the time. Those that would find fault with her accomplishments, or his, are the same people that hold minorities, or themselves, down.  They're the same people that make excuses for why things never change and why the government needs to control their thinking, which isn't really difficult with lemmings.  But do you have to be a neurosurgeon?  Is it really rocket science?  No. 

My mother said I must always be intolerant of ignorance but understanding of illiteracy. That some people, unable to go to school, were more educated and more intelligent than college professors.

-- Maya Angelou

It is what the intelligentsia now refer to as making a "paradigm shift," a shift in our basic concepts and practices; a profound change in our life model, our thinking, and our perception of our reality.  Basically, we simply have to make a conscious effort to say no to all things we are doing wrong in our lives, and take ownership of all the negativity.  We have either created our circumstances, or made the conscious decision to remain in our circumstances.  We have done this, not someone else.  It is our bad, and we have only ourselves to blame.  

This doesn't mean you can go off on a crusade against what, or who, you feel is the cause of ills in your life in an effort to solve the issues.  This would be, again, simply assigning blame to the decision you made to allow these causes to rule your decision making.  We have to wrap our mind around accepting full responsibility for our lives.  We have to, finally, become aware that we are in charge of our lives.  Only when we do this can we finally see the positive path that has always lain before us.

We are free to choose who and what we wish to be. We are Light alone. We are shape-shifters. We become what we choose to become in an effort to discover the Truth of who we are. We grow into our Truth. We grow into our soul.

-- Lauren Zimmerman

There is nothing I find more disagreeable than someone I work with being dissatisfied with their situation.  You have a job, so do it.  If you don't like the job, leave.  If you can't leave, why?  Bills?  Mortgage?  Ah!  Decisions you made that prevent you from living a happy, productive, life.  Now you find yourself in the less than enviable position of indentured servant (aka, slave), until you pay off the bills... which will never be paid off.

Who are you?  You are what you want to be, and if you aren't... then you must be satisfied with what you are.  Don't bitch, moan, and complain about the circumstance you put yourself into.  Don't try to shift the blame on others for the bad decisions you, yourself, have made that keep you down or miserable, because the people around you see right through this immature attempt to look blameless for your circumstance.  

Accept responsibility for who you are.  Accept that you owe, are indebted, for mistakes you've made, luxuries you wanted or needed.  Accept that you have to pay for the mistakes or debts.  Accept responsibility for your life, even if your assets belong to someone else due to your decisions.  Accept responsibility for your life, the life you've made, even if it isn't perfect, and you'll find there is some pride in ownership.  Then you might learn to understand...

I'd seen my father. He was a poor man, and I watched him do astonishing things.

-- Sidney Poitier

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

My Sunday Thought for January 24, 2016: Parenthood Stolen

"There’s an unexpected sadness to getting your life back. It’s like your getting laid off slowly from an equally grueling but joyful job. She’s ten now. And I’ll notice that she’ll be reading alone for an hour without getting bored and jumping on me. We used to make tents on the bed, now it’s more homework and YouTube. Sometimes she’ll go in her room for a long time and close the door. Her life is becoming hers and I’m fascinated by where it’s going to go. But it’s bittersweet that she needs me less and less."

-- Facebook - Humans of New York

What can be worse than a child losing a parent, or having a parent that is never there?  Perhaps it's being the parent and losing your rights to exercise the fact, or being a parent and not realizing the joy of parenthood until the time has passed you by.  How about when all of this pertains?  What do you say when you look in the mirror and a schmuck looks back at you?  I know the answer...

I looked in that very mirror and said, "Hi, schmuck!"

My "unexpected sadness" came after my divorce, when I got my life back at the extreme cost of giving up my rights to be a full time father to my daughter.  It wasn't the spousal support, that was just money; the obligatory child support handed over to the custodial parent to spend as they see fit.  It is a loose definition for giving money to the working ex-spouse whose spending habits may be the cause for the divorce in the first place, so any support for the child is a crap shoot.  Until the state tracks the money spent, which will never happen, I will continue to refer to this mandatory payment as "spousal support."  Personally, I think it would be in everyone's best interest to have the support money put in an account for college when the child turns 18, or for a nest egg when they turn 21. If the custodial parent wants the child, prove it.  Pay the cost to be the boss.   How many dads get meaningful child support from the working mother?  Fair is fair... just saying.  

If you really love the child, don't make it about money, make it about your love for the child.  But money is what it always seems to come down to, doesn't it?  Show me the money, honey!  People do what they are allowed to do, and I can't fault them.  We are, after all, only human, and with that curse come all the rest of  them, like lawyers and the Seven Capital Vices, or Mortal Sins, God help us.  We are bred to ignore the moral lesson of, just because you can do a thing, doesn't mean you should.  But we do, and then we leave our lives in the hands of incompetent lawyers and judges that end up hurting everyone involved, the winner, loser, and the innocent children.  In the end, no one really wins.

My divorce came at a time in a daughter's life when she needed a father the most, monetarily and emotionally.  It was a time when, as an "every two weeks" father, if you really screwed up with her you couldn't make it better until your assigned visitation weekend came around again.  Meanwhile  she could stew and learn to hate you with unintentional assistance from your estranged who might not even know there's an issue, or even care.  

Why do the courts penalize parents that actually want to be parents?  Then again, why does it seem the husband always wrong in the eyes of the court?  The courts are the ones that preach to parents about being there, yet they are the very ones responsible for ripping the children from the very people that love them.  I actually called Washington State down on this, while setting up my state mandated support payments, when they treated me like a deadbeat dad.  I threatened to sic my attorney on them if they didn't show me respect for doing the right thing.  I was accepting my responsibility and I sure as hell was going to get respect, from someone, for doing it.  This was the last time the State and I found the need to speak.

Putting all the bitterness aside is like losing your favorite, threadbare, luggage after a flight to the tropics.  Not only do you realize your luggage was embarrassing when compared to other passenger's offerings, but everything in it was out of style and inappropriate for the nude beach you found yourself frequenting.  Maybe it was time for a new Speedo... and a Rolex. 

My point is, bitterness is ugly baggage best lost, especially when children are involved.  It is hard to get shed of bitterness, I know, because it took me years.  As hard as I tried not to show it to my daughter, neither of my kids was stupid.  They knew I was bitter, and they were well aware of why, it made their young lives tough and, for all of this, I will be eternally sorry.

For the normal marriage, the quote at the beginning of this post seems pretty accurate.  For the divorced parent, with "visitation" rights, it is significantly worse, and much more painful to watch, as your children's lives flash by with numerous missing episodes.  Guilty or innocent, you are being punished by the state for however long it takes your children to reach eighteen years of age, and then you have a forced epiphany when you realize the punishment is a life term as they immediately leave for college, marriage, and lives of their own.  But, whether they need you less and less is really not as traumatic as the realization that you couldn't be there when they really needed you, all because a court made a decision without considering the psychological scarring that would occur from the pain of losing your children, watching them grow from afar, and not being there every day, not being there when they needed you, and not being an active part of their lives 24/7/365.

I'll have to research the suicide rates among divorced parents that lost everything, except for their physical life.  I wonder how many that didn't commit suicide, actually considered doing it?  

When I read the article, which I took the paragraph from, the quote, all of my emotions, from years ago, flooded back.  It wasn't that I was still bitter, that ship sailed off with my ugly luggage a while back.  No, I felt a deep loss.  I felt a loss of a fatherhood that I will never be able to recover, a part of my life that someone thoughtlessly determined I didn't deserve, so they stole it from me.  When I see or talk to my kids, both grown now and one with kids of her own, I can't help but feel they think I gave them up willingly, that I abandoned them for my own life, and that they blame me for everything.  I always fear that I wasn't a good father, because I wasn't allowed to be there for them.

I'll be the first to admit I wasn't prepared for fatherhood when my son was born, I was too young.  Then, when I thought I was finally ready to be a father for my daughter, I was found I was seriously less prepared to have the opportunity ripped away from me by someone I loved.  

It has been a long road back to normalcy, but now I consider myself lucky, fortunate, and loved again.  For years I was lost, broken, and unwilling to let myself be vulnerable, to trust... anyone, for fear of being hurt like that again.  It took me all of those years to find myself, and even now I still let very few people close, though that is changing daily even though the walls I've built will stand the test of what time I have left.  I have found my happiness again, through years of love and good friends, and this is a good thing.  Hell, I even open the gates of my mental fortress occasionally, if just to taunt inquiring minds or outright shock the unprepared.  Life is good.

So, if you encounter divorced parents with visitation rights, don't be too quick to judge.  I don't think you have to ask questions, just look into their eyes.  If there exists a hidden sadness that seems hard to penetrate, that would be the schmuck they're forced to see each morning in the mirror.  They are on a path through a psychological hell you might want no part of.  The proof will be when they see a photograph, like the one at the beginning of this post.  If their eyes moisten and their lip quivers, they are, and always have been, a loving parent.  Or, they might have just crapped their pants, but let's go with the parent thing.  

Try to be gentle.  Try to be kind.  Try, as best you can, to understand that theirs, more than likely, is a parenthood stolen.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Making a Difference: A Big One?

"Ever feel like you're just not making a difference? That's me right now. I know I make a difference in the lives of my family....some good, some bad. LOL But I mean making a difference in the world. I have such a HUGE passion for animals, the elderly, children, anyone or anything being mistreated, education, etc. It's like I want to fix them all. I know that's not reasonable, but there's got to be a way I can make a difference.....a big one. I'm adding that to my list of things to get started on this year! My plate is full, no doubt, but it can handle a few more things!"

-- LBB

Ever feel like you're not making a difference in the world - a big difference?  I had to think about this one, because Lori's statement, in the opening quote, gave me pause.  Her desire is, no doubt, laudable, but...damn!  "My plate is full, no doubt, but it can handle a few more things."  I think this is kind of a Chinese Food Syndrome.  I already have a full plate to eat, but I know I'll be hungry in an hour, so I'd better take more; I can do it!  An hour later you're wondering what in God's good name you were thinking as you find yourself kneeling down to pay homage to the Porcelain God of Gluttony.

Definition - My plate is full:  to have a lot of work to do or a lot of problems to deal with.  And yet, we find ourselves with this feeling of just not making a difference.  Of course the logical cure for this full plate is to take on more, right?  But, let's look at it from a different angle - reciprocity.

Reciprocity is best defined in the context of Buddhist karma - good begets good as evil begets evil.  It is a premise that our actions, good or bad, affect the future life of the individual as well as family, friends, and the community.  Taken to the extreme one might assume the old adage that one helps two, and each one of them helps two, and so on.  Or, a butterfly beating its wings in Africa causes a stampede of horses in Arizona.  If this concept is accepted, one can now ask of themselves, "How big a difference are you really making?"  How many people's lives to you affect every day in some positive way?

One person, alone, can make a reasonable difference.  One person surrounded by a large, competent staff of professionals, in control of an even larger bankroll of millions, and with a fairly narrow focus, can probably accomplish close to miracles.  For the majority of us, however, isn't it enough to make a reasonable, meaningful, difference that positively affects someone, each and every waking day?

Is it really necessary for us little folk to make a big difference?  Perhaps it is enough to make many small differences and accomplish a lasting good that will pay forward to have combined great consequences for family, friends, and community?  When we look at our already full plate, how many people have we shown charity to?  How many people have we already helped that will pay it forward?  Have we ensured our children grow up in our footsteps, to continue our work and possibly do even more than we have done?  How about our friends?  Family?  

The small differences for good we make in other's lives can be a legacy we remain ignorant of, and yet these are differences those around us will spread to the four corners of the earth.  Maybe our real issue is, we're the only ones that don't realize how much meaningful work we already do.  Perhaps it is time to stop and recognize what we have already done, instead of thinking we need to do more.  Perhaps it is time to refill our empty bucket so we can finish what is already on our overflowing plate, before we take on the rest of the world,

Looking at the evidence before us, haven't we already made a big difference?  Yeah, I think so.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

My Sunday Thought for January 17, 2016: Pie Crust

Let us be the friends we were,

Nothing more but nothing less:

Many thrive on frugal fare

Who would perish of excess.

-- Christina Georgina Rossetti (1830-1894), from "Promises Like Pie-Crust" 

Terry just relayed that her mother used to say, the secret to a good pie crust is it should never be touched by human hands; always wear gloves when making it.  I'm not sure there's any good science in that, but most old adages are usually based on some fact long lost to us as science marches on.  

My own mother used to get her hands deep into it, and I would wait patiently for two things, a chance to snatch some of the raw dough trimming, and for her to make some baked treats, sprinkled with cinnamon and sugar, also from the leftover trimmings.  You can see my quandary.  Ultimately the toasted sugary treats won out.

I love to cook, though my baking has been limited to pies and cookies.  I used to make my own pie crust, not so much anymore.  I got lazy and used a generic, store brand crust, which got such rave reviews.  I never saw the need to bust my hump making it from scratch again.  The downside is a lack of flakiness with store-bought doughs, and without flakiness the cinnamon sugar treats are left a tad flat.

I don't think pie dough was never meant for fruit fillings.  It is said the Roman Empire brought the meat pie to Briton with them.  The British revived the dish back in the 16th Century, and it traveled to the New World to spread westward across America.

Give me a choice between a sugary, fattening, fruit pie or a warm, savory, meat pie... I will always take the latter, especially if it has both top and bottom crusts.  Even during my stint in Mexico, I looked forward to finding my basket toting vendor, selling his savory, handheld meat pies, called empanadas, on a busy corner of Manzanillo.  He would always see me coming and meat, I'm sorry, meet me halfway.  As he removed the covering cloth from basket, the aroma from the several varieties would fill the air as an enticement to purchase several.

But what, you might ask does this have to do with a thought for Sunday worship?  Well, I find life is like a double crust meat pie.  Life is a bit flaky, at times, and can be packed with all kinds of savory stuff.  How good your personal meat pie is, depends on how good a cook you are with your own life.  Will it be savory or unsavory?  That is always for you to decide.  Never take life too seriously; never expect life to be perfect.  Sometimes, in its imperfection, much good can be discovered.  Life will bring to you that which you work for; life is what you make of it.  And, eventually, when you look back on what you have created, you might very well find that, like the humble meat pie, life is what it is; nothing more but nothing less.  

Many of us want so much more than our life has to offer, and yet, I think, if you live life with a humble attitude, you might find Ms. Rossetti's poem to be meaningful for you.  "Many of us thrive on frugal fare who would perish of excess."   I mean, really, what would you do with $1,500,000,000 dollars anyway?  It won't buy you the happiness you really need; it will only buy you a lot of the crap, you'll ultimately find, you don't really want.

Life might take a downturn at any time.  We take chances in life's dice game, sometimes we crap out.  Take solace in fact that you had the guts to take the chance, then go find yourself a nice warm, crusty meat pie and snuggle down with a glass of red wine.  Life is good comfort food, and tomorrow is another day.

Keep several rolls of pie crust in the freezer, you might need them.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Benghazi's Ghosts

How do you define cowardice?  The civilian world can define it many ways, legally, morally, religiously, but for the military cowardice is defined by their actions in the face of the enemy and overwhelming odds.  It is defined by personnel who are left to die by the very administration they worked for, and it is especially defined by a military hierarchy which felt more concerned for their careers than in leaving good people behind to die.  I'd like to say the ghosts of these brave people will haunt these "killers" for years to come, but in the words of Hillary Clinton, "What difference at this point does it make?" 

Well, it turns out it makes quite a bit of difference, Madam Secretary.  New evidence coming to light from the other quagmire Hillary Clinton is involved in, the classified email scandal, would seem to bear out the lying and cover-up of condemning brave Americans to death.  I don't think any but the far left liberal would be surprised to find the President at the top of this list, after all, the buck stops there, whether he wants it to or not.  This was not an episode of “Mission Impossible” where the administration told them, if they were caught the State Department would disavow any knowledge of their activities and leaves them out to hang.  There was an expectation of rescue.  There was an expectation of Marines landing in force.  There was an expectation of "leave no man behind."  More importantly, there was an expectation, an obligation, of good old American bravery in the face of overwhelming odds to rescue several of our own; a moral obligation!

The current administration let them down.  The State Department let them down. Military commanders let them down.  And, most of all, the people of the United States of America let them down by not screaming for justice and the heads of all those involved.  We left fellow Americans to die in a foreign land.  We have the right to vote in leadership that will ensure zero tolerance for this kind of cowardice; cowardice which makes our country, our people, and our leadership seem weak and ineffective.  This is the kind of cowardice that invites our enemies test the waters of invasion.

"What difference at this point does it make?"  For sniveling cowards that hide behind their appointed office like it's a shield from any complicity in wrongdoing, it makes no difference.  But, to the patriotic taxpayers of this nation who pay the salaries of these people, the political leadership they vote for and the military commanders those same politicians assign to positions of leadership, their complicity in lying, cover ups, mishandling of classified material, and the murder of our brave men and women by the wonton inaction of these same inept employees makes a serious point.

But then, that's just my opinion.  I could be wrong.

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."

Americans

Airman's Creed

I am a Warrior.  I have answered my Nation’s call.  I am an American Airman.  My mission is to Fly, Fight, and Win.  I am faithful to a Proud Heritage, A Tradition of Honor, And a Legacy of Valor.  I am an American Airman.  Guardian of Freedom and Justice,  My Nation’s Sword and Shield, It's Sentry and Avenger.  I defend my Country with my Life.  I am an American Airman.  Wingman, Leader, Warrior.  I will never leave an Airman behind, I will never falter, And I will not fail.

-- (Read more of the Creeds of the U.S. Military)

What makes a soldier a hero?  What sets one military person apart from another? For that matter, what makes a hero, a hero, especially to a military culture, a family of comrades expecting no less than the ultimate sacrifice when your name is called to step up?  When you are weighed and measured, will you be found wanting?  We can easily change an anonymous statement, What is a Veteran, to help us define a hero:

A Hero, whether active duty, discharged, retired, or reserve, is someone who, at one point in his life, wrote a blank check made payable to "The United States of America," for an amount of "up to, and including their life."  That is honor; there are too many people that don't get that.

A hero signs on the dotted line.  What our heroes do in battle will weigh and measure them; a few might be found wanting, but they did, at least, step up to be counted.  For most, the baptism of combat will define the hero they have already proved themselves to be; proved by volunteering to sacrifice their lives to protect those of us that can't, or won't.  

The majority of us sit on our fat, lazy, asses waiting for the heroes to be announced in the thankless liberal media, to come home, or to be buried, yet our heroes are announced to us every time we see someone in a uniform representing service to our community, and country.  We have to announce our heroes because they will not announce themselves.  They will not acknowledge what they do, will do, or have done, as heroic.  They are the humble best of what we all are supposed to represent.

If we want to define the opposite of a hero one only has to look to their detractors.  Yes, our heroic men and women even fight for the lives of those perpetually thankless who dare berate them for following orders unto death.  Shame on the cowards of this country for enjoying the fruits of sacrifice they, themselves, refuse to earn voluntarily.  I say voluntarily to head off the thankless who would use paying taxes as their out.

A hero fights to protect the innocent. A hero fights to protect friends, family, and country.  They fight for a piece of cloth bearing thirteen stripes and fifty stars because it is a representation of everything they hold dear in life.  They fight for values and freedoms many in our country take for granted, never learned, haven't earned, and will not even understand until those freedoms are lost.  Although they fight with little, if any, expectation of gratitude as this country has been gratitude poor since the Vietnam police action, this thankless trend seems to be lessening of late. 

I do solemnly swear that I will support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic; that I will bear true faith and allegiance to the same; that I take this obligation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the duties of the office on which I am about to enter. So help me God.

-- United States Uniformed Services Oath of Office

"So help me God."  This statement used to mean something.  It didn't really matter which God, when it came right down to it we all seemed to be on the same path.  It was simply a way of putting impetus behind our honest promise to do our duty for our fellow citizens.  We were swearing that we would not cut and run during battle, or walk away from our guard post one evening, upon penalty  of being shot as a coward or a traitor.  Now, it seems we don't require God any more, like we don't require there be winners, only participants.  We now live in a country where mediocrity is the name of the game and trading the enemy combatants for the return of our traitors may become common place.  It is a country where we can no longer turn boys into men for fear of winding up in court because we offended their delicate sensibilities.  So help me God?

God help us.

We swear to defend a Constitution which the majority of liberals in this country, both citizens and leadership, would like to see shredded... along with God.  Yet, the leadership took this very same oath of allegiance, and did so without purpose of evasion.  Basically, they lied.  No surprise there, right?  Are we to judge them as traitors?  Unless we plan on reliving the French Revolution here in America, by rolling a Guillotine up to the steps of the U.S. Capitol, I'm afraid their treason will be for history to determine.

Freedom is not a gift.  Freedom is something earned through sacrifice.  Countries that are simply handed their freedom, like Russia, have no ownership of it, no respect for it, and they will slowly lose that which wasn't earned.  I once told my son, not so very long ago, I wished for his generation, and into the next, an invasion of this great country, from within or without, that will deprive them of all the freedoms they take for granted, for it is only in the absence of freedom that the tree of liberty will be refreshed.  That invasion seems to be upon us as the enemy is not only at the gate from without, another enemy is in charge of guarding it from within.

The tree of liberty must be refreshed from time to time with the blood of patriots and tyrants.

-- Thomas Jefferson

We are all Americans.  I feel the majority of us have forgotten what this means.  I grew up in a household demanding patriotism, where freedom was our hard fought for right and patriotism was our duty as payment.  I am American by birth and Southern by the grace of God.  God bless the heroes of this great nation, and God bless the Constitution of the United States of America.

Ooh-rah!

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path." 

Stress

My stress in life ended when I became debt free.  My only debts, per se, were rent and car insurance.  I never lived beyond my means for a rental, and only had liability on my used vehicles.  Two things were obvious for me.  One was that I only worked to pay rent; everyone has to live somewhere.  The second was that I could dump the car anytime, as I always worked close enough to walk from home..

Marriage, for me, was stressful for two reasons.  The love was unrequited, and it created spiraling debt that occurs when one, or both of you, cares so much less about spending habits.  The plus to having your own credit cards and accounts before a divorce is that everyone becomes responsible for their own debt.  The upside, if there can be an upside to thoughtlessness, is that both of you, hopefully, get a wakeup call to enabling bad habits, and bad decisions.

"Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for."

--Epicurus, Greek philosopher, 341-270 BC

There are other things I will not abide in my life that will cause me stress. One is that I abhor people who think they're smart enough to use me without me knowing they're doing it, including "friends," family, and people saying they "love" me. If they're succeeding, it's only because I have allowed it, for my own reasons. The fact they think I don't know they're using me simply pisses me off, as it means I have allowed dumbasses into my life. The second are people that are perpetually miserable, because I see no reason to enable their continued misery, especially in my life. The third is misery in my own life. Being miserable accomplished nothing but making other people miserable by being around you, and what fun is that, was that... for anybody?

"When we are unable to find tranquility within ourselves, it is useless to seek it elsewhere."

-- Francois de La Rochefoucauld (1613-1680), French author

And, finally, is being in debt.  By being debt free, I work because I want to, not because I have to.  I allow stress at work because it is interesting, not because I have to endure it; being debt free means you can tell the boss to shove it, at the drop of a hat, and not have to stress over the consequences of your action.  This is a great ability to have in your inventory, and a great feeling.

"Don't underestimate the value of Doing Nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can't hear, and not bothering."

--Winnie the Pooh

Stress is good for only one thing - getting rid of it.  The best way to rid yourself of stress is not to allow yourself to have it; don't put yourself in a position where stress rules you, always know you are accepting the stress for a damned good reason and get rid of it as soon as possible.  The biggest problem with stress is that it's like eating the wrong foods; a second on the lips, an eternity on the hips.  Many times the things that cause us stress are much harder to get rid of than they were to obtain.  Like waking up with the wrong person in bed next to you after tying one on the night before, the first thing you realize is... uh oh.  It is so much better in life to slow down and keep your wits about you.  There is absolutely no decision so important that you have to make it immediately.  Learn to take a moment and consider your options, and there are always options.  The decisions are yours.

"There is more to life than increasing its speed."

-- Mahatma Gandhi

The biggest stresses in my life have been, in reality, those which I have created for myself.  They were stresses which were caused by bad decision making, not following sound advice, and not getting rid of the damned stress, getting shed of the situation, when I realized I had created it.  If you live in stress, how can you ever hope to be truly happy?

"God give us the grace to accept with serenity the things that cannot be changed, the courage to change the things that should be changed, and the wisdom to distinguish the one from the other."

--Reinhold Niebuhr

Winnie the Pooh tells us, "To the uneducated, an A is just three sticks." To the educated I offer that, if we used "one" in lieu of A or AN, we could eliminate one word by eliminating two.  This has absolutely nothing to do with stress, but I just thought of it so I wanted to share it.

Contrary to a popular song, one is not the loneliest number.  One is the most important number.  One is already more than zero, and one is a number that draws other numbers to it.  You must realize that, in your short life, you are number one.  Take care of number one.  If you can't take care of yourself, how can you ever hope to take care of others?  If you can't love yourself, how can you ever hope to love others?

I used to believe in forever

But forever's too good to be true.

-- Winnie the Pooh

We have a finite time in this life to find happiness.  Many of us never will.  Many of us start out believing in forever just to find out forever's too good to be true.  I prefer to believe in forever.  I prefer to think that one life bleeds into the next, and I'd rather not live through forever in a state of stressful misery.  If you don't get straight in this life you will have to get it straight in the next, or the next.  There is no time like the present to decide upon happiness.  There is no time like now to say NO to stress.  You can carry that stress around with you, filling your glass with it.  How much stress do you want to carry, and for how long?  It is entirely your decision.

Maybe it's time to put the glass down.

"Even as fire finds peace in its resting place without fuel, when thoughts become silence the soul finds peace in its own source. When the mind is silent, then it can enter into a world which is far beyond the mind. This is wisdom, and this is liberation."

--The Upanishads

Editor's Note 

(re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card) 

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so.

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and then engaging in peaceful, constructive, discussion and debate in an arena of mutual respect concerning the opinions put forth. After over twenty years as a military intelligence analyst, planner, and briefer, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we do afterward, and what we learn from the experience.

Frank Anthony Villari (aka, Pastor Tony)

Pastor Tony is founder of the Congregation for Religious Tolerance and author/editor of the Congregation's official blog site, "The Path."