Questioning Attitude, Money, Attention, Like, and Bad Things

 

“Intimacy in marriage should be between the intimate spouses. Family members should not insert themselves unnecessarily.”

-- Mitta Xinindlu

Does a husband or wife's attitude change towards their in-laws after getting married?

Probably, but, more to the point, do the attitudes of the in-laws change toward the new wife or husband? My wife was never accepted by my parents, and when the marriage ended 25 years later, they felt vindicated, even though their lackluster attitude toward her for 25 years didn’t really help.

Is it considered bullying if the “victim” was mean to you first?

Wouldn’t that be considered bullying the bully? When do two wrongs make a right?

How do you define yourself apart from others and their time? What do you do differently and how might it help?

I listen and I learn, even though my hearing suffers from too many jet engines. I try to be tolerant and understanding, though I do ignore the League of the Perpetually Offended. And, as a pastor, I try to be real when I mentor those in need. Whether I help or not is up to those I try to mentor. Is what I do different? Well, I don’t get paid, I do what I can selflessly, and I really care. Different is in the eyes of the beholder.

What is the most important quality a man should have to be able to date with ease, and why?

Honesty. Without it why would anyone, of quality, even look at them?

Can you give false hopes unintentionally?

To give “false” hope you really have to know it’s false when you give it. If you know it’s false, then it is intentional. If you believe it to be real hope, false or not, it is still real to you and those you share it with. You have faith that hope will be realized. Whether hope is false or not, however, will not be known until hope is either lost or brought to fruition.

Faith breeds hope, and faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Since I have a deep belief in faith, unintentional, or not, I choose to have hope.

“Harsh reality is always better than false hope.”

-- Downton Abbey

Why are people so impressed by money?

People, as deep as some think they are, are really very shallow. Instead of being impressed by accomplishments, accolades, or, God forbid, who they really are as people, they are impressed by money and material things.

Can a person lose their entire identity and forget who they are?

More and more often, as we age. 

What does it mean when a guy says he fights for me although it is normally not his way to handle things because I am important to him?

It means you are important to him. You can read more into it, but he has already stated why he does it.

What are some easy ways to gain knowledge, intelligence, and memory?

Listen, read, question, and, then, remember.

How can you prevent your past failures from affecting your future success?

Oh, God, no! My failures are what help me to attain my goals. You must persevere in the face of failure. I always remember this quote:

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

-- Thomas A. Edison

How can you tell if a guy is ignoring you because he wants to ignore you, or just because he's busy?

Is he ignoring everybody?

How do you stop thinking about giving him a blowjob?

You don’t! You need to keep that thought up front in your mind. Of course, being a man, my priorities for you are pretty obvious.

Who do I always feel unsure about everything I think of?

The one you truly love.

What makes a guy want you back after breaking up with you when other guys don't even care about you anymore, once they're done?

He realizes he made a mistake. However, taking him back immediately may not be the best tactic. Guys are like dogs, they have some fun and come limping home. You need to watch and determine his true intent. And, for God’s sake, don’t let him immediately jump your bones.

What are your thoughts on dating a girl who doesn't like/hate men?

Well, being a man, I wouldn’t think of dating her at all.

"I never gave you a reason to hate me. You're just creating your own little drama of pure insecurity."

-- Anonymous 

What is a good response to an ex saying “I’m over you”?

“I was over you years ago, Scarlet. I just enjoy juggling.”

How do you expose the bully in the workplace?

Have it out with them in the lunchroom, loudly, then immediately report them to the Human Resources office.

What does it mean when someone says that the USA is losing its soul?

We are forgetting why this country was created. We don't pay attention to civics, political science, and, more importantly, history, anymore. Education is a sad reflection on the greatest country in the world.

What does it mean if you say "like" a lot?

You weren’t taught to speak proper English.

If asking someone to change is manipulative, what can one say instead to try and get the desired result?

Asking one to change is not manipulative. Changing them without their knowledge is manipulative.

“The conscious and intelligent manipulation of the organized habits and opinions of the masses is an important element in democratic society. Those who manipulate this unseen mechanism of society constitute an invisible government which is the true ruling power of our country. ...We are governed, our minds are molded, our tastes formed, our ideas suggested, largely by men we have never heard of. This is a logical result of the way in which our democratic society is organized. Vast numbers of human beings must cooperate in this manner if they are to live together as a smoothly functioning society. ...In almost every act of our daily lives, whether in the sphere of politics or business, in our social conduct or our ethical thinking, we are dominated by the relatively small number of persons...who understand the mental processes and social patterns of the masses. It is they who pull the wires which control the public mind.”

-- Edward Bernays 

What is the best response if a girl tells you “Not now”?

“No problem, I’ll call Mimi. She’s always up for a challenge.”

Should I just date this new guy and see if my ex fights for me?

He’s your ex. I sure as hell wouldn’t.

At what age did life become simple for you?

At 59. I retired from my second career and move to Manzanillo, Mexico. Life didn’t get much simpler. I ate street food, drank tequila and beer, worked around the coconut ranch when I felt like it and lost 40 pounds.

What does it mean when someone says "Yes"?

Someone might be getting laid.

What are some reasons why people think they can be rude to their friends and still be considered friends with them?

They have dumbasses for friends.

“Rudeness is the weak man’s imitation of strength.”

-- Edmund Burke

What is the best way to respond when someone says "God will never abandon you"?

“I’m a minister, and you’re preaching to the choir. But, thanks for the thought.”

What are some good responses to people that say God proves himself every day?

“But… you’re still here.”  Truth be known, He doesn't have to prove Himself.  Isn't creation enough? 

What is the best reply to a girl who refuses to meet you?

“My loss. If you change your mind, call me.” 

How do you respond to a girl who calls you "my love"?

“Not yet, not really, but, maybe tonight?”

What has your life made of you to be?

A minister, a mentor, and a philosopher.

"Every struggle in your life has shaped you into the person you are today. Be thankful for the hard times; they can only make you stronger."

-- Unknown

What are some examples of people who have done bad things but have also made our lives more meaningful?

Adolf Hitler. He brought the world together. After the WW-II, the United Nations was created to prevent future wars. 

What is the best way to tell someone that they are keeping secrets from you without sounding accusatory?

Have incontrovertible proof.

What is the difference between technique, talent, and temperament?

A good temperament is what you need to learn a new technique. Your combination of techniques is what makes your talent.

Why should I discover new things?

Growth. You should never stop trying to grow your knowledge. 

What will you do if you find yourself falling in love with a stranger?

Honesty. I’d tell them I’m falling in love with them, and invite them to dinner. Stranger things have born fruit than this.

“You can love somebody without it being like that. You keep them a stranger, a stranger who's a friend.”

-- Truman Capote

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Tarnished Armor (Updated from 5/12/2014)

 

"Look, your worship," said Sancho; "what we see there are not giants but windmills, and what seem to be their arms are the sails that turned by the wind make the millstone go."

"It is easy to see," replied Don Quixote, "that thou art not used to this business of adventures; those are giants; and if thou art afraid, away with thee out of this and betake thyself to prayer while I engage them in fierce and unequal combat."

-- "Don Quixote" (Chapter VIII)

Is it the feeling of self-betrayal when you get close enough to suddenly realize your knight’s “shining armor” is a bit tarnished - that “Mr. Perfect” is flawed?  Is it when your hopes of finding someone more perfect than you melt away to reveal another human being with frailties? Or, is it when you suddenly step back from all the noise to realize they've been screaming how “they aren't all that,” and you know it's probably true, they aren't?  It always helps, though, when they're trying to make you understand, they aren't what you hoped. 

Self-betrayal is the feeling you get when you realize you have been engaged in selective ignoring. Hearing and seeing only that which fills in the perfect picture you want to see.  Does any of this make it wrong?  No.  It makes it all part of the ongoing tragic comedy we call life, and it isn't nearly as interesting from the cheap seats as it is from the orchestra section, and it is even better if you’re on stage and involved.  

Women aren't alone in this, oh no!  Men suffer, from the same distorted perceptions, when looking for the "perfect" woman.  Save the cost of buying that sports car at sixty, as it won't help.  Everyone can see that you're a sixty-year-old adolescent, hoping against hope that you can get it up if a woman says yes.  Take the money and a woman your age, and book a cruise to the South Seas.  She might not love you in the manner you're hoping for, but if she can dance and carry on an intelligent and interesting conversation, what the heck!  And, if she becomes a close friend, life is almost perfect.

"You can't make a woman love you if she don't."

-- Anonymous

Even the aged Don Quixote had issues. He was a man looking for honor, love, excitement, and chivalry, and, all the while, he was fruity as a bat cake. In the end, we learn so many lessons from this story. Lessons about expectations, judging books by their covers, and unrequited love. The lessons we learn about tilting at windmills evidence our penchant for battle with those things that exist only in our minds.

I see myself longing for the knights of Arthurian legend and realizing, instead, we all have much more "Alonso Quixano, Don Quixote de la Mancha" in us.  We all tend to view our world with distorted perception, striving to realize more than we are, only to discover, if we are lucky, what we always have been.  

Men can try to be something they aren't or imagine themselves to be something they are.  If our armor is a bit tarnished, do we need to look for armor that isn't?  "He, who is without sin..." are few and far between, whereas "people in glass houses" are a dime a dozen.  Most of us are flawed, and many are tilting at our imagined windmills.  Who among us is really that perfect?  Maybe "Mr. Right" isn't a white knight after all.  It may be he has a bit of color, a chink in the armor, a slight imperfection we might call "being human."

So, I think, maybe, we could learn that when your "knight in shining armor" has a touch of tarnish or a chink in the armor, it might mean they've been taking on the "giant" windmills. A brave endeavor. Are they perfect?  Absolutely not... but who is?  They are probably more colorful and much more interesting to be around.  Love, if it's there, will find a way.  If not? Then try to have one hell of a time while the adventure lasts, and enjoy the exciting life you have, this time around. Maybe the next life will be different.

Maybe not.

"Mr. Right is coming, but he's in Africa, and he's walking!"

-- Unknown 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After over twenty years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning a Word, Happiness, Values and Truths, and Manners

 

“The Master always has a "one up" on everyone else because he/she accepts what others can't - The Horrible Truth. Benefits of this revelation can cause outbursts of laughter.”

-- Christopher Zzenn Loren

 

What do we get when we ask for help from a spiritual master?

Help. Damn, this is easy.

Can someone be happy if they have no friends and are extremely intelligent?

The problem with “extremely intelligent” people is they simply aren’t smart. They really need to have friends to grow as real people.

What is worse: a childish adult or an old soul?

Childish adult. The “old soul” will back this up.

What are some signs that your marriage will be happy for now but won't last forever?

It wasn’t based on friendship. And, “love” turned out to be more of “lust’ for the husband, and, for the wife, it was using the husband for an escape route. 25 years later, the marriage dissolved.

What are some ways a woman can show that she needs her husband?

Really? Have you two even had sex yet?

"Life is not the amount of breaths you take, it's the moments that take your breath away."

-- Hitch

Why do people who say, "a word of advice,” give advice longer than one word?

Because they don’t understand. A “word” of advice would be telling someone, “Don't.” This would elicit the question, “Why?” At this point, the advisor could pontificate till the cows come home.

What if a group of people hacked your mind, and then took it for ransom? They can see everything you could, and predict every thought you had. What would you do? Who could you tell?

There would be no problem. They’d give it back... with an apology.

What are the differences between being cheated on and feeling lonely?

If you’re feeling lonely, you probably haven’t been cheated on. If you have a significant other, on the other hand, they might be a “player” and be cheating on you. If you kick them to the curb, you’ll be looking for greener pastures. If you’re looking, you won’t be lonely for too long.

Why do humans think it isn't fair if they get to suffer but those who hurt them don't? Why do we seek a balance or for things to be equal?

I haven’t heard this one. Sounds like left-wing District Attorneys putting the criminal before the victim. Fortunately, this isn’t happening all over the United States… yet.

Is it wrong to make a mistake?

No. Mistakes and failures are the best ways to learn, so we can mitigate the fallout if it happens again. We put a negative stigma on failing and mistakes, yet we hire people who never made a mistake, so they can make their first mistake working for us so we can fire them. It makes little sense.

“A person who makes few mistakes makes little progress.”

-- Bryant McGill

What are some things people do that destroy their own happiness?

Marriage!

Do you think, in today's society, most people's moral standards are deteriorating or improving?

Considering the condition of our voting in the United States, one wonders which third-world country we will choose to monitor our elections to ensure their validity. Our moral standards deteriorate at a pace equal to our government, and the government, lately, is outpacing us. We have no borders, millions of illegal aliens in the country, and our President has proven himself to be a joke. China is calling us out, and Russia is calling Europe out. If we don’t stop the insanity in this administration, there will be another world war, regardless of them saying everything is okey dokey.

What is the definition of the emotion, "Sad and lonely but happy"?

A non-sequitur. It doesn’t follow. You can’t be both sad and lonely but also happy.

Do you think  people who say they're "too good" to be cheated on are right?

They are the ones who are being cheated on left and right. They are living the lie, because they can’t stand to admit their significant other might be screwing around on them. I’ve heard the “I’m too good” story and  seen the husband or wife. Yeah, let’s go with you’re “too good” when your significant other looks really that good.

How can I make my spiritual practice more meaningful?

Have faith in it. Will you die for your beliefs?

“To practice is not to practice for ourselves alone. We practice for everyone. We should be proud to say, Violence, it may come from somewhere else, but not from me. Hatred, discrimination, it may come from somewhere else, but not from me.”

-- Thich Nhat Hanh

How could someone double fifty million dollars in ten years?

Astute investment in “blue chip” stocks, will get you close.

Can you describe someone who understands you without you saying a word?

No. It is the curse of being an enigma. The closest I can come is one lady who rightly states that I have no filter. But I have to talk, for her to understand that. She is the only one who truly gets me.

How can you prove someone wrong without making them feel stupid or bad about themselves?

Lay out the facts. They may not have all the facts that you do. Don’t rub their nose in it. They aren’t stupid, just ill-informed.

What are values/truths and why is it important to live by them?

Why would you want to live in a lie, and with no values? Values are good, moral ethics, and the truth, well, it is what isn’t a lie. It is important to live by a moral set of values because it defines who and why you are. You can stand as a selfless example of what it means to have good values and a moral set of ethics. If you live by them, you might just find true happiness, and true happiness is success in life.

When is it OK to make fun of someone?

Never, and it is terribly hard for a guy with no filter.

“Advise a wise man, and he will listen to you. Advise a fool, and he will make fun of you.”

-- Mouloud Benzadi

What is the easiest way to get laid as a teen?

I’m not gonna touch this. I’ll get in trouble.

How can we make our husbands feel good about themselves?

I can’t believe you don’t know this.

Why does nothing make me feel as happy as I once was?

You weren’t truly happy. If you were truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances, you would still be truly happy. Happiness is a choice we make, and as a choice, it is sustainable until you make the choice not to be truly happy, which is, obviously, counterproductive to happiness. 

Somewhere along the line, you allowed “drama” to enter your life. Drama, like evil, is counterproductive to happiness. I only let drama that will not affect my happiness, into my life. It is “drama” that I control, not that someone else controls. you need to make the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. If you can’t make this simple choice, you’re stuck. 

Can a person always tell the truth?

I’d like to say yes, but, no. It's why Catholics had "confession" every week.

How do you convince people to not tell others about their idea?

Don’t tell them the idea. Jeeze…

“The reason people fear to confide in anyone is that even an internal friend can make personal details external, and it will remain eternal.”

-- Michael Bassey Johnson

How do you prefer to have your investments?

I prefer to have them at significantly more than I paid for them.

What does it mean when someone is very nice but never has good manners?

Slipshod parenting. No one ever took the time to teach them. I found a lot of this in the military.  I did much training to get them ready for functions.

Why do so many [on this site] post the same question a dozen times in rapid succession?

I don’t know. I’ve seen it and just laughed. I ignore them.

What are some ways to deal with the feeling of being threatened by someone's success and happiness?

Just don’t be. You aren’t them. Make the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. If you can make this simple choice, you will probably be more successful in life than they are. You will surely be happier.  Jealousy is insidious.  Don't let that drama infect your life.

Why do I seem arrogant and a braggart to everyone except my family and friends?

Are they, also, arrogant braggarts? It might explain a lot.

“Who knows himself a braggart, let him fear this, for it will come to pass that every braggart shall be found an ass.”

-- William Shakespeare

What's the best way to answer: "Do you have any questions for us"?

“Yes.”

How do you respond when a guy asks what exactly you want to know about him?

“What makes you think I want to know anything about you?”

How long should you give someone to respond after breaking up with them?

You broke up with them. You had your reasons, and they probably know them. You shouldn’t care whether they respond. Get on with your life and ignore the drama.

Is there a time when being a parent became easy for you?

Oh, my, yes! When he went off to college and she got married.

Is it bad if a guy likes a girl who is introverted?

Not if he’s into introverts.

“Love is essential, gregariousness is optional.”

-- Susan Cain

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Who Owns You? (Updated from 5/12/2014)

“You must gain control over your money or the lack of it will forever control you.”

-- Dave Ramsey

You are either free, or you are a slave. Ask yourself, "Who owns me?" Nobody? You are your own person, correct? For most of us, the answer is so much bullshit. So, you owe nothing on your car or your house, and you have no outstanding debt on those credit cards, right? Again, for most of you, the answer is a resounding disappointment. Almost everyone in this country and, for that matter, the world, has debts of some kind. If you do, then you are owned. You are probably owned by a bank or other lending institution, like a mortgage company, a lending institution, Visa, Mastercard, American Express, or any number of credit cards you carry a debt on.

"There is a sucker born every minute."

-- Artemus Ward (1888)

Not to put too fine a point on it, and please excuse the language, but almost all of you are someone else's bitch.  Who's fault is that?  Well, more than likely, it is your own damned fault.  You fell for every trick in the book entitled, "How to Hook a Sucker".  Oh, there are a lot of you out there, so don't feel like the Lone Ranger.  There really is a sucker born every minute.

“A good name is still to be preferred over great riches. Especially it is to be preferred to the appearance of riches, acquired with nothing down and nothing to pay for 2 months.”

-- Ezra Taft Benson

Okay, now, what to do about it.  Well, I recommend "Tony's Three Step Process."  The first thing you have to do is admit you're a dumbass for having debt.  The second thing you need to do, and this is the hardest, is stop spending money you do not have!  The only people that spend more than the common Joe Bag O'Donuts is the federal government, and look where that's gotten us.  The third thing you have to do is get the hell out of debt!  This step of the process is actually pretty easy... after you conquered the second step.

So, how do you get out from under a mountain of debt?  Get rid of everything you owe money on.  Pay it off or sell it for what you owe.

I can hear the doors of your spoiled rotten brains slamming shut at the prospect of selling the new car, downsizing the apartment or the house, and cutting up credit cards.  Your mind is reeling with, "What?  Yeah, right!  Be real, dude!"  The problem is you aren't saying all this to me, you're really saying it to yourself, as you, once again, easily convince yourself there is no way your sorry ass is ever going to be able to exercise any self-control.  This really means that you have no self-respect that you haven't been able to purchase on account, on account you think you can't live without the purchased self-respect.

But, you see, in reality, you don't even own your self-respect - the bank does!  Truth be told, if we were to remove everything around you that you really don't own you'd be...well, we would finally see you; the real you.  Take away the toys you really don't own, take away the big house you really don't own, the fancy clothes you really don't own, the jewelry, computer, television, stereo, and your precious cell phone, all that you really don't own, and what are you left with?   Whatever it is, you own it.  You own it.  And, if you own it, the bank doesn't.  Now that is something to be really proud of.  Now you have the self-respect of someone living without debt.  Now you are truly free.

“Jimmy put in a word and told them that if I made it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself without paying them back. That I'd sooner die than owe anyone money for helping me.

Apparently, Jimmy knew more about me at that point than I knew about myself.”

-- Craig Ferguson

The next time a commercial asks you, "What's in your wallet?" ask yourself, who's bitch you are.  Better yet, tomorrow when you get up and look in that mirror (which you probably don't own) ask yourself, "Who owns me today?"  When you decide you don't like the answer; when you decide you don't want to work for someone just to get out from under working for someone; when you decide you really want to get off of the revolving charge account you humorlessly refer to as life, maybe you will find what true happiness is really all about.  Oh, and, until you make this decision, stop praying to God for assistance.  God helps those that help themselves.  If you aren't, then there really is no free lunch.

How good does it feel to be debt free?  How good does it feel not to be someone's slave; an indentured servant for life?  I can answer that.  It feels pretty damned good.  It feels good because it is actually easier to get rid of all the debt than it is to accrue it.  You just have to want freedom.  You have to want freedom more than servitude.  There are plenty of financial advisers out there to help, and many of those are free.  

The question isn't what is in your wallet, it's who?  Who owns you?  Who's your daddy today?  How much do you pay, each month, to keep the well-to-do "image" alive, that facade of freedom?   That big lie everyone tells everyone else?

When you finally pay off your debt, you'll find it's much easier to work on your eternal soul.  After you rid yourself of monetary debt, you still have the debt you owe yourself - salvation.  

Now, salvation is where the work really begins!  Are you up for it, or do you like having "self-respect" that really doesn't belong to you?  Hey, if it doesn't bother you, it sure won't bother all the rest of your friends.  After all, they don't own their self-respect either.  And, if you have to wallow in debt, best to do it with friends who are also in debt, right?  Birds of a feather and all that.  Debt really is the best-kept secret that everybody knows.

Who's in your wallet?

“What’s in your wallet?” is a clever way of planting doubt in our minds about whether or not we have the right stuff to get all the satisfaction we are looking for in life. It prompts us to wonder if we are getting all that we think we deserve. Is there more out there that we don’t yet have? Do we have what it takes to be successful? Of course, the intent of the ad campaign is to make us think that only this particular card will make us satisfied, secure, and significant. And if we don’t feel secure about having the right things in our wallet, perhaps we need to reevaluate its contents.

This ad was so successful that Capital One got its own Facebook page in 2011."

-- quizzclub.com

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Honesty, Fright, Logic, Responses, and Oral Sex

“A woman knows very well that, though a wit sends her his poems, praises her judgment, solicits her criticism, and drinks her tea, this by no means signifies that he respects her opinions, admires her understanding, or will refuse, though the rapier is denied him, to run through the body with his pen.”

-- Virginia Woolf

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Note to my readers: Just a point of interest.   Over the past week, I have garnered 27,215 views of my answers.  This is astounding to me.  They did put one of my answers on 100,000 of the sites reader's "Digests" and I have copied it  below, for those who wish to read it:

How do you handle a person who's loudly speaking on their phone when you’re trying to enjoy your dinner in a restaurant?

People who do this are either clueless or just assholes. I usually figure they’re assholes. Pick up your plate and go sit with them. When they ask what you’re doing, tell them in an equally loud voice, “I figured, if I have to listen to your conversation during my meal, I might as well join you so you don't have to talk so loudly. Please, continue. I’m sure everyone else in the restaurant is equally as interested in your bullshit conversation as I am. Or, tell the people you're talking to that you'll call them back, as all of us are in the middle of a nice, quiet, dinner."

They will call you names, so be prepared to smile and tell them that you expected nothing less from them.

******************************

Would I like to have an honest and open discussion?

I don’t know. Would you?

How does Buddhism view the nature of reality and the ultimate goal of spiritual practice?

Being a novice Taoist, let me see if I can state my view of it. It is what it is, for each individual, and the goal of spiritual practice is to be truly happy, and to be selfless in doing good for others, regardless of your own circumstances. In this way, you move forward from this realm into the next, and the next, until you attain enlightenment. I may have mucked this up, but it's better to try than not. It's how we learn.

What do you say about being a millionaire in your 20s?

Hire a money manager, and take a stipend. Otherwise, you’ll probably be broke, or deep in debt, in short order.

Have you ever ordered a dish you prefer but received something inappropriate?

Yes, and it was more expensive. I prefer the less expensive dish I ordered. I brought it up to the waitress and she asked if it was the same price would I prefer it, then. I said yes. She said, “Imagine that! I put in the computer at the wrong price, so I guess you’ll have to eat it.” The meal went from an inappropriate price to a preferred price and became a gift from heaven.

When did you realize you were not a misogynist?

I’m not? That’s great news! According to the Democrats, all of the Republicans are misogynists, even women.

“Misogynist is a word used by women about men who are able to describe women directly and accurately enough to make them feel uncomfortable and insecure about themselves.”

-- Robert Black

Is it okay for a boyfriend to ask his girlfriend for money constantly even though she has an income of her own?

Uh… she has an income of her own. If she didn’t, what are the chances he would constantly ask her for money?

Can you give an example of something that can't be avoided but we still consider a mistake or flaw (non-moral)?

Collateral damage during a military operation. It can be mitigated but not necessarily avoided. Military operations run into this all the time. Sacrifice for the greater good. It can’t be avoided, it is immoral, but it might be necessary in order to save lives. Mitigating the damage is key.

How can you avoid making stupid mistakes when dealing with people?

Don’t rush, and think about what you are doing. Experience will mitigate mistakes.

How can my ex-employer make me pick up my last check from the manager I had problems with?

They are the ex-employer. They dictate who you pick up your last check from. This is actually smart. The employer doesn’t need to get an earful from you about a manager they might have much faith in, and the manager needs to know the employer listens when he speaks. Personally, I would use the HR department, but it seems as though they don’t have one. 

Are stupid questions asked sarcastically?

No, but the answers probably are.

“If you ask a stupid question, you may feel stupid; if you don't ask a stupid question, you remain stupid.”

-- Tony Rothman

What is your greatest weakness, and how do you address it?

A great set of legs, on a woman. I remember I’m in a relationship. Very tough.

Should I try to move my parent with disability out, since I don’t want to be involved in drama anymore?

Did your parent move you out because they didn’t want to be involved? My mother gave me 18 years of her life, and now I have the privilege of returning the favor. She was sent to a nursing facility until I can have her back home and in private care. Parents take care of us, and we tend to forget. 

What is the meaning of "the way" in Buddhism?

In Taoist philosophy, the “Tao” is “The Way” or the “The Watercourse Way,” in translation.

What is the point of having goals if you don't have a purpose in life?

Well, let me see if I have this right. The point of having goals is to give purpose to your life.

If you could go back in time, what would you say to yourself ten years ago?

Invest in “Glossier” in 2014.

“Time is not a line but a dimension, like the dimensions of space. If you can bend space you can bend time also, and if you knew enough and could move faster than light you could travel backward in time and exist in two places at once.”

-- Margaret Atwood

What if you get frightened when home alone? And, what if you see the devil?

Don’t ever find yourself home alone. And, if you see the devil… run.

Reader comment: A totally and completely and appropriately perfect answer to this question. I find myself running from the devil all the time. He can’t catch me though. I use my invisibility cloak.

My reply:  A woman after my own heart. 

What have you learned about your social identity?

Don’t identify with it. Don’t trust it. Sounds like more adult indoctrination to the socialist left, to me. I have a personal code of moral ethics that I abide by. I am who I am, and if anyone has a problem with that, come see me. I will be very happy to set you straight.

What does it mean when someone says, “The communication is different among us”?

They communicate information in a different way than most people do.

Do people only respect savage people now?

What? That would be respecting the dumbasses that are physically destroying New York and other big cities in this country. I see no reason to respect a dumbass whose only priority is to kill, maim, and destroy their city for their own selfish benefit.

Note to my readers:  A reader put forth a cogent point that I agree with.  So, I have rewritten my response to this question, shown below: 

What? That would be respecting the dumbasses that are physically destroying New York and other big cities in this country. I see no reason to respect a dumbass whose only priority is to kill, maim, and destroy their city for their own selfish benefit. It has been brought to my attention that if you participate in, or glorify, any selfish violence. it would be tantamount to a sign of respect. I would tend to agree.

What does it mean when I forget if I ate today but remember later that I’ve eaten?

How old are you?

“Dementia is a particularly long farewell to the self. With most illnesses, death comes quite swiftly. With dementia, the flicker with which life ends is excruciatingly slowed.”

-- Nicci Gerrard

What is the logic behind the phrase "take something for granted"? What is its deeper meaning in the deep structure? I cannot understand especially "for granted".

It means you are making an assumption that something will be what you think. “I take for granted that the woman will seduce me.” Personally, I hate when people think I will act in a certain way simply because of their past experiences with me, and then they shift the blame and get mad at me when they’re wrong.

How can I trust someone that lied?

You can’t. They have shown their sense of ethics isn’t necessarily good or moral.

Why are many teens accused of being selfish, stupid, and immature when they are just being themselves and wanting independence?

They’re teens, so wanting independence is stupid. Oh, wait… they are teens, so being selfish, stupid, and immature is just them being themselves. This would explain why many are accused of it.

What's the great thing about being stupid?

Nobody has any greater expectations of you.

There you are, luckless. No good luck and no bad luck, because luck does not exist. How do you explain what others call luck?

They have to call it something. What we call “luck” is simply a person’s “chance” to overcome the odds to attain a goal. The best way to do this is to be knowledgeable about what you are doing. The better your knowledge, the better “chance” you have of attaining the goal. So, what we call “luck” is, in reality, the knowledge we bring to the table that will allow us to attain our goals more often. “Bad luck” would mean you came to the table ill-prepared, in your knowledge, to win.

Author's comment: That seems to lean towards skill. Chance by presence alone is based upon what? Determinism?

My reply: If you stand on the street and a brick comes loose on the 15th floor and hits you on the head and kills you. You chose to stand in the wrong spot. Your choice killed you, not bad luck.

Author's reply:  The choice to stand there caused the brick to fall?

My response:  The brick was going to fall anyway. The choice to stand in that spot has no bearing, other than being a bad choice.

Author's Response: And I was going to stand there anyway. If "anyway" is going to happen. Know what I mean?

My response: It is your choice. (What part of this doesn't he understand?)

“Shallow men believe in luck or in circumstance. Strong men believe in cause and effect.”

― Ralph Waldo Emerson

What are some ways to respond when someone says, "You know, I've been thinking..."?

“Uh oh…” “That’s first.” “You want help, massaging that cramp?” “You woke up! Uh oh.”

What is a good response to someone who says they are going to beat you up?

“I fear for my life.” And, say this response loudly, so everyone can hear. For any intelligent attacker, they will understand, as will the people watching, if I kill my attacker it will be in self-defense because I feared for my life.

Can you think of a time when you were honest but it came across as rude?

I can think of many times. I really have no filter.

Why is calling someone “boss” considered disrespectful in the U.S.?

I have always called my boss, “boss.” I have always said it with the utmost respect, and they have never questioned me for it. Of course, I’m “old school” in employment. If someone finds it disrespectful, I would, respectfully, advise them to grow some broader shoulders so this kind of trivial bullshit can simply roll off. 

Who is responsible for making remunerations?

The entity, business, or person, who contracted out the work or service to be completed.

“Truly successful writers blend the personal and the profound to enlighten and entertain readers while simultaneously banking something for posterity. Remuneration is a wonderful afterthought.”

-- Stewart Stafford

 How do I start giving my best friend oral sex?

Unzipping their fly would be a good start, I think.

What does it mean when someone rubs their chest and chin while talking to you?

Your discussion makes them think... and gives them heartburn. 

I liked girls with big breasts. Do you know any that will chat with me, an 18-year-old male?

If they’ll chat with me, why in God’s name would I send them to you?

What does it mean when a woman says, “I just want to talk”?

“I don't want to argue,” or, “Keep your hands to yourself.”

How do you reply to, “You’re always welcome, my queen”?

This question is dangerous, so I’m not touching this one.

“The reason we're successful, darling? My overall charisma, of course”

-- Freddie Mercury

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony: tolerantpastor@gmail.com