Questioning Wisdom, Cheating, Criticism, and Guilt

 

“What a kid I got, I told him about the birds and the bees and he told me about the butcher and my wife.”

-- Rodney Dangerfield

Are you happy then you’re wise?

You can be wise but not very happy, or helpful. It would call into question the wisdom of such a person. One might find them to be more of a “wise ass” than just wise. I would like to think I was truly happy before I found wisdom. I had to forgive my wife, accept my part for all that happened, and learn to accept the apology I knew I was never going to get. This can, not only humble you, but, endow you with a modicum of wisdom.

Do the police intentionally turn on their siren when stuck in traffic?

I think so. Actually, if they have to respond it is best they not be “stuck” in traffic. With this in mind, their “intention” might be a rule of thumb to keep them available.

Why don’t you believe everything you think?

Being but a humble servant of God, I am bound to admit that not everything I think is morally ethical. Not everything I think is based on known physics. Not everything I think do I agree with. And, last but not least, I am not to be trusted, even if I think I am, and even by myself.

How do you beg for forgiveness in Islam?

Radical Islam, or regular Islam? It might mean the difference between losing your head and simply having your feet caned.

"What is love?" What is the best answer?

I think this will work for the many types of love, even the love of a pet:

“Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”

-- Robert A. Heinlein

How can I get an older woman to have an affair with me?

The same way you ask any woman. Dinner, drinks, good conversation, and see what develops. I found that older women like to lead, in so many ways. Be polite, respectful, and courteous. Open the doors, pull out the chairs, help her with her coat, and the like. Yes, it is probably a test you have to pass. If you aren't invited up, this, too, can be a test.  Tell her you enjoyed her company and ask if she'd like to do it again, another night.

How are your business ethics different from your personal ethics?

They aren’t. Good moral ethics are good moral ethics. Honest and respectful, there is no substitute for morally ethical behavior in business or personal affairs.

My ex was a loser. How do I make sure I never attract more like him?

Get to know them for a few years. Live together. See how they operate in life and what their personal ethics are. Marriage is a partnership. Would you go into business with a partner you know nothing about? Most importantly, is how they treat you and what love is there. If everything else is a wash, their true love for you might also be.

When did you realize that being single was what made you happiest?

After my messy divorce. I swore off of marriage. I’ve been living in sin for the past 21 years and loving it.

Why do people that brag that they "tell it like it is" seem unable to handle criticism directed back at them?

I tell it like it is to the point of being a smartass. As I approach 70 years of age, my self-criticism is so much more meaningful than criticism from any other corner. I certainly don’t direct it back at them, that takes precious time from my life I can use constructively elsewhere. I take note of it and either ignore it or work it, but, usually, I’m already on it.

“To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing.”

-- Elbert Hubbard

My friends are becoming friends with my ex-best friend and she is talking trash about me to them. I’m upset and disappointed. What should I do?

It doesn’t say much about your supposed “friends” that they listen to her. I’d drop the “friends” and go find new ones that don’t listen to trash spoken by trash. You really need to raise the bar when it comes to friends. Maybe try looking in the deep end of the pool. 

What should you do when a girl says she loves you?

That would depend on what they meant by it. There are many types of love. Girls tell me they love me all the time, but it is for who I am and how I treat them. My response to these girls is that I love them as well. But, then, I try to love everybody, except that group that goes out of their way to be offended by me. Tolerating them is hard enough.

What does “far and few” mean?

I think you mean, “Few and far between.” It usually denotes things that don’t happen that often. There are very few of them and they don’t happen that regularly to really bother with.

Can someone create guilt in you? I feel like someone induced that feeling in me and it changed how I see everything now. I think it’s all my fault.

No. If I’m guilty of anything, I’m usually already aware of it. If someone is trying to make me feel guilty, I can trace it back to them shifting the blame onto me for something, or they’re just ignorant of the facts. If I did something that had unforeseen consequences, I try to make it right as soon as possible. This happens very seldom, however, and usually with people who are looking to be offended anyway.

Author's comment:  I wasn’t aware of it. I thought it was totally the fault of the other person until that incident. I think they shifted the blame on me, although they didn't know what it was about. It's like they are doing it for sport.

My reply:  I hate the word “fault” being thrown around. I think people use it just to shift the blame away from themselves. Having said this, is it possible we made a mistake? Of course, mistakes, like failures, are the best way we learn. If I see that I made a mistake, I own it. It was my mistake and I try to make it right. I critique why I made the mistake so I don’t make it again. I also try to fix whatever happened.

Don’t feel guilty about learning. Own your part, and make others own theirs. Learn why things went south and correct it if you can, but don’t dwell on the learning experience. Learn, try again, and again, until you get it right, and then press on. Guilt is your purview for what you know you did. It isn’t for others to throw about in order to save face. 

Why are high-profile pastors falling from grace?

It is a real bitch being only human, especially when you forget why you exist. Organized religion is usually about power, or some other hidden agenda, like money or fame. Greed is insidious. There is one pastor that hit his congregation up for another private jet. I think he already has four. How many does one person need? But, yet, the congregation keeps on supplying. I suppose if you’re that stupid, he’ll keep on taking.

Christ asked that his “clergy” give up everything and follow him. He state that upon the solid rock that was Peter, he would build his congregation. Somehow this meaning morphed into a physical building, a church. But, then, Peter wasn’t really the sharpest tool. From the death of Christ, “Christianity” became enamored with money, property, and power.

Reader comment:  Yes, I have thought about the same things you are saying about churches. Jesus didn’t say or give example about having churches. I consider churches man-made egotistical. They show off wealth from hard-working fools too.

“The moral high ground to which I aspired had turned into a slippery slope.”

-- Alfred Alcorn

What relationship advice would you give a woman who believes every man cheats in a relationship?

Don’t get involved with men.

Why don't people share their partners? Don't they trust each other?

I don’t trust me, why in God’s good name would I trust someone else? My marriage went south, so "trust" is already dicey. Her taste in men, me included, speaks volumes about her. I can see STDs flowing like candy. No, until people can grow the hell up, sharing is definitely out.

I can't trust my husband. I am scared of him hurting me. I’ve had men cheat on me in my past. He's never cheated on me for 10 years. How do I pull this wall down?

Sounds like a communication problem. Try talking to him about this. Let him know you live in fear of him hurting you, and why. You might be surprised at how he reacts, especially after 10 years and no affairs. Sounds like he loves you.

Are online friendships the only way I’ll get any friends?

Unless you get your ass out from in front of the computer and go meet people, yes. 

I kicked my daughter (16) out for being pregnant. She lied to me about not having sex. I miss her so much, what can I do to cope?

Apologize. Start acting like a loving, understanding, parent. She made a few mistakes, we all do, so, who was supposed to teach her better? Teaching fell short and the student takes the wrap, not the teacher. Well, doesn’t that sound typical?

Swallow your pride and admit to her that it was as much your fault as hers. Love her like a parent and help her to work past this. She will love and respect you for that, and she might just learn something in the process that she can pass on.

“My research continues to amaze and baffle me. As human beings, we are geniuses. What we didn’t get from the home, we find ways of getting elsewhere. It’s evident, then, when one looks at the stats we don’t have a teenage pregnancy problem and we don’t have a street gang problem. I will even suggest that we don’t have a drug and alcohol problem, nor do we have a crime problem rather, these are only the symptoms that we are experiencing, and the real problem is broken homes that result in broken lives.”

-- Drexel Deal

Is it cheating when you have sex for money?

Yes, but let’s call it whoring. It’s a “twofer” morality issue.

Can a married man cheat on his wife's best friend?

If the married man is already having an affair with his wife’s best friend, and then he cheats with, yet, another woman, he will be cheating on his wife’s best friend, as well as his wife. That third woman must be great, or he’s just notching his gun.

Has any man ever answered his front door naked?

My brother-in-law answered the door in his underwear. The two ladies excused themselves and, for some reason, the Jehovah's Witnesses never darkened their doorstep again.

How did you move on from your long-term relationship?

After 25 years of marriage, she made up a story and had me arrested. I was so ready to move on.

Is having an "ex" a sign of great inner weakness?

It might be a sign that someone had no clue of what their constant lack of fidelity might lead to. Okay, yes, it’s a sign of great inner weakness for one or both of them.

"Beware of the villain posing as a "victim." Real victims often do not go seeking "revenge," they usually just want to be left alone."

-- Unknown

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Relations, Jobs, the Past, and Fights

 

“What are your choices when someone puts a gun to your head?

What are you talking about? You do what they say or they shoot you.

WRONG. You take the gun, or you pull out a bigger one. Or, you call their bluff. Or, you do any one of a hundred and forty-six other things.”

-- Harvey Specter Suits

If you had to fight one guy who's holding a pistol to your head, who would it be?

The guy with Attention Deficit Disorder. 

Does marriage really make one responsible, or is it just a myth?

It helps cement responsibility, but, my God! One should have “responsibility” before even considering marriage and the partner should be even more concerned if they don’t. This is a “life” decision, not a road trip.

Why shouldn't you argue in the stairwell?

Someone might have the urge to push.

What are 10 reasons for dating?

Companionship, friendship, romance, fun. separating the wheat from the chaff, love, sex, sex, sex, and more sex. If there are more than seven reasons for dating, someone needs to learn how to edit. Personally, I want to have a bit of fun and companionship while I’m separating the wheat from the chaff.

What should I do for a part-time job?

Anything that doesn’t take you all day.

"Today's undergraduates have been tested every month of their lives, from kindergarten to high school. They are the measured inputs and outputs of a commercialized global higher education market worth $1.2 trillion a year - excluding the USA. Their free time is minimal: precarious part-time jobs are essential to their existence, so that they are a key part of the modern workforce."

-- Paul Mason

How can you predict the future with the past?

The past tends to repeat. With this in mind, looking at current trends that might have happened before, you can predict the outcome that might happen again. The stock market works like this most of the time.

Do we need stress in our lives?

No. Be happy always and in all things. Leave stress and drama with other people.

Is it wrong that if my girlfriend aborted my baby, I would break up with her?

It is wrong but, unfortunately, she has the freedom of choice when it comes to killing her unborn child. You and she should have been more careful.

What happens if you meet your past self?

Time travel.

What does it mean if strangers attack you for no reason, like high schoolers shouting how ugly you are, two women pushing you where the cars are so you can get hit, drunk men following you, and middle schoolers imitating you?  What is the point of it?

It means you live around people that are shit. There is no point to it, they’re just piles of smelly shit. I would be moving to where people treat people with a modicum of respect. Anywhere along the “Mississippi Gulf Coast” comes to mind. 

“If they don't like you for being yourself, be yourself even more.”

-- Taylor Swift

How do I connect the past with the future?

Commonalities. What happened before that is happening again? Are the same players involved? Does the possible current outcome line up with the outcome of the past?

Do you leave someone that hits you?

I would leave so fast the fingerprints at the crime scene would come with me. 

What are some ways you can bring a smile to someone's face?

Chocolate, roses, a puppy, a pratfall, oh, and walking into a meeting with your zipper down. Yeah, that put everyone in stitches when the boss asked if I forgot or was I trolling.

Is it possible to become comfortable with your partner?

If you’re not, why are they your partner? It strikes me as counterproductive.

What should you never do or say in an argument?

Never say anything derogatory about the other person. It is a sure way of letting everyone there know that you have just lost the argument. Control your voice and you control the conversation.

“Language matters because whoever controls the words controls the conversation, because whoever controls the conversation controls its outcome, because whoever frames the debate has already won it because telling the truth has become harder and harder to achieve in an America drowning in Orwellian Newspeak.”

-- Erica Jong

I am 30 years old, but I don't have a source of income. What should I do?

Get a job.

Why would someone you broke up with for cheating want revenge on you?

Psycho, by the way, is another good reason for the breakup. 

What, if anything, is unforgivable to you?

Lying about you to the authorities. Lying about you to anyone, but especially the authorities.

My ex-wife told the county sheriff I threatened to kill her, which I didn’t. I did a night in lockup for something I didn’t do. I forgave her, several years later, and accepted the apology I knew she was never going to give me. What she did was an unforgivable act, but my hatred of her was eating me alive. I “forgave” her so I could have happiness again.

Reader's comment: I'm sorry, that's so awful

My reply: Thanks, but it was 21 years ago, and I am so over her. But, I do appreciate your thoughtfulness.

What is the most tragic moment ever caught on film?

The fall of the Twin Towers in New York.

What kind of person would tell another person to commit suicide?

Someone with a serious mental issue and tremendous lack of good sense.

“It is not worth the bother of killing yourself, since you always kill yourself too late.”

-- Emil Cioran

Why do we live in a world full of dickheads?

Who is “we”? I just ask because the world may not be full of them. There’s already you and me against the world. There just might be more.

If you were in an animated movie, who would you want to meet?

Jessica Rabbit, or Holli Would.

Is sex on the beach that great?

The peach schnapps is a bit much for a guy that likes straight bourbon. Or, were you asking about sand in nether regions?

How do you prove you love someone in words?

You really can’t. You can tell them, heartfelt, that you love them, but then you have to show them that you mean it. People say much, but actions, as the saying goes, are stronger than words.

What are your short rules for a better life?

Make the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in everything you do. Make this “Rule Number One” and all the other rules you think you’ll need will be grateful for it.

"When you lose, don't lose the lesson."

-- Dalai Lama

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Ethics, Mistakes, Life, and Work

 

"A musk ox horn is short and it curls upwards on each side of their head. These horns play an important role both in defense and in showcasing dominance during the mating season. These animals are dark brown or black and this Arctic tundra animal has long, coarse outer guard hairs on its body. A small tail is concealed beneath their fur. These Arctic musk ox tundra animals possess soft and strong qiviut wool under their thick fur. This qiviut wool is even more refined in cows (females) and young calves. These animals are closely related to goats and sheep..."

-- https://kidadl.com/animal-facts/musk-ox-facts 

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Note to my readers:  My answers have garnered 12,358 views over the past week.  Again, I accept the appreciation I get back for my answers, with due humility.  I continue to build a following and am eternally grateful to all those who take the time to read my humble offerings.  At this rate, over the next 12 months, I will receive 642,616 views.  If I reach 1,000,000 I may just publish the collected works of "Bathroom Quasi-Wisdom from the Always Humble Semi-Ancient Pie Hole Philosopher."  Yes, I am aware that many of you wait with bated breath.  I will try to get over myself.

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Why is a group of muskoxen called a herd?

Because they are “hoofed” mammals that migrate and live in a group called a “herd.”

What are the benefits of behaving ethically?

Nothing to be ashamed of. No lies to keep track of. No hostility to bemoan. Everything is honest, respectful, legal, and above board. T’s are crossed, I’s are dotted, and there is no need to watch you back. You can actually shake hands and part knowing that fairness was achieved.

How do you handle a boss that doesn't like you?

I find a new job where I am appreciated for the work I do. No one should have to “handle” a boss who acts like an ass. Better to be happy always and in everything you do.

How do you get paid to make sex with my wife?

If I’m getting paid, I’m a gigolo, a whore. If she’s paying me, the better question is where the money came from. Is it her money, or is it yours? If it’s yours, then you are the one paying me to make sex with your wife. But, then, why do you not know all of this? Is she not your wife? Is it not your money?  I would be concerned.  Either way, if you are concerned, why are you married to her?

Do you take revenge?

No, and that in itself is the sweetest “revenge” one can taste. Karma is the only revenge we should seek, and it will visit upon them in its own good time.

“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes around comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.”

-- Jessica Brody

What is one thing you would love to do openly if there were no judgment from society?

I’m not sure how a loud, wet, smelly fart in an enclosed elevator full of people rates being on “Find Love and Spouse” so, I’ll keep it to myself.

How do you talk to a friend knowing that the best friendship is over but you want to stay friends in some way?

I explain that I understand that we all make mistakes. I hope they will see where they went wrong and try to change for the better in the future. Even though being “best” friends has been tested by their actions, I hope to keep our friendship, such as it is, and look forward to them working hard to become better than they think they can be. In this way, we can both move forward from this little setback, and, perhaps, find that “best” part of our friendship, again.

Do you buy into any of this?

What "life teaching" would you like to share with people?

Stay out of personal and monetary debt, and learn to be happy always and in all things. The alternative simply sucks.

For those who believe that there's no such thing as mistakes, why?

Everyone makes mistakes, and everyone fails. These are the best way we learn. Those that think they’re “perfect” don’t realize that perfection doesn’t exist. They think they’ve never made a bad choice or decision in their life. They may be better than others, but the fact they think they are above mistakes and failure is more evidence of how not perfect they really are. Delusional, maybe, but so not perfect. 

What is the difference between proving that something is true and demonstrating the underlying reason why something is true?

There is no difference. Both are proving the truth and, to do so, an underlying reason will probably have to be demonstrated.

“Climate is what you expect, weather is what you get.”

-- Robert A. Heinlein

How did you gain your ethical values?

I learned many of them in the military being a supervisor and a manager. Ethical values are simple rules for the right way to act and treat people. You can look them all up online. Some are business, some are personal, and you pick and choose what best works for your own personal code of ethical values. Once you decide why and what they are, you have the responsibility to stand by them, no matter what.

What does it say about a man who loves cats?

He is independent and loves those who are also independent.

What should I do if I don't like my course? My parents just forced me to take it.

Is this your parent’s life, or yours? Are you an adult, or a child? Will they also choose your wife, what child you keep, what happiness you can have? If you are an adult, who dares to force you to do anything you don’t want to do? You have freedom of choice. Your choice, not someone else’s. Stand up for yourself, or you will never be in control of your life. 

Is it better to talk to a professional or ask family and friends when making important financial decisions?

Professional, definitely.

How do I make myself happy so I can make others happy?

Happiness is nothing more than a conscious choice you must make for your life. Choose to be happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstance. In this way, your happiness is sustainable because you choose to be always happy. Until you choose not to be, your happiness will sustain itself through your will for it to be so. It is, after all, your free choice.

Keep unwanted drama and debt from your life. You choose what to let in, not others. It is your life, not theirs. Ask of everything, am I comfortable with handling this drama? Will I be able to sustain happiness while doing it? If you are happy to take it on, then so be it.

“If there is a reason to be sorrowful, then there is a reason to be happy. You have only one lifetime, don't live your life in sorrow! Be happy! Be happy no matter what, and only mind the lessons life teaches each day!”

-- Ernest Agyemang Yeboah

Why is Word of Honor so good?

“Word of honor” is only as good as the person uttering it. If you have no honor it means very little to anyone. I someone you know has great honor and gives you their word, you can make the assumption they will keep the word they gave because their honor demands it. Those with honor usually have a good personal “code of ethics” they stand by.

What would you do if you had a finance-savvy neighbor who was always ready to give you good advice?

Sincerely thank them every time their advice paid off. I would also hope they never moved.

How do you trick a boss into firing you?

The “trick” you use to get fired is the same kind of “trick” your boss will use when he “doesn’t tell” a future employer what an ass of an employee you are. Unemployment offices are getting wise to this BS as well, from what I understand. More to the point, your employer may make life hell for you until you simply quit.

I have severe tardive dyskinesia. Why do people judge me so negatively before even knowing what's wrong with me? Why won't people even give me a chance to explain it to them?

They shouldn’t. What they do to you says more about them than anything about who you really are I have little patience for people who act this immaturely.

Has it always been this hard to make it in life in the past, or is it just getting harder recently?

It was so much harder in the past, we have just had it so easy recently that our definition of “hard” really has lost its meaning. Most of us think “manual labor” is the name of the Hispanic kid down the street. Where the kid’s parents might have actually taught him what hard work really is, our parents have wished for us an imaginary life, instead of preparing us for reality.

“Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anybody else expects of you. Never excuse yourself. Never pity yourself. Be a hard master to yourself-and be lenient to everybody else.”

-- Henry Ward Beecher

What is the difference between proving that something is true and demonstrating the underlying reason why something is true?

There is no difference. Both are proving the truth and, to do so, an underlying reason will probably have to be demonstrated.

Is putting yourself first selfish or necessary?

Putting yourself first is a necessity to assisting others. How can you assist anybody if you are not 100%? Airline safety briefings state this clearly: “Put your oxygen mask on first, before assisting the passenger next to you.” If you’re gasping for breath, how effective will you be assisting others? Always ensure you’ve taken care of yourself before you go out and try to save the world.

What are your thoughts about the quote, "safety is more important than convenience"?

Very true. I have a friend who is a “safety guru” and professional witness for the court system. He is constantly in court testifying against some “convenience” that costs somebody a life or a limb. His clients always win.

Why should respect have to be earned when it's something basic and expected as human beings?

Coming from a military background, those people who think they deserve respect usually don’t. Those who think they need to earn respect usually do, even before they get started. As a sergeant, I was “due” respect, but it didn’t stop me from earning it every minute I was with my people. The more rank I achieved, the harder I worked to earn and keep their respect.

I’ve had civilian medical professionals introduce themselves as "Doctor" So n' So. I introduced myself as Master Sergeant. They asked for my first name and I’d answer, “You first.” They’d say “Jim” and I’d say, “Tony. Nice to meet you, Jim.” They’d smile and say, “Sergeant, what can I do for you?” I’d respond, “Well, Doctor, I’ve got this boil on my butt…” and we’d get along great. Tentative mutual respect, started with humor, would build over our time together.

What are some of the biggest dreams and goals we have yet to achieve as a species?

An end to war, world hunger, human trafficking, nuclear proliferation, drug cartels, and greed. The beginning of world peace, extending human life, the habitation of another planet, and interstellar travel.

“If you want to live a happy life, tie it to a goal, not to people or things.”

-- Albert Einstein

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questions of Therapy, Honesty, Respect, and Russians

 

"From child to KGB pornstar, to a war criminal.

Who knew?"

-- Me

What race is Vladimir Putin?

Well, right now he’s acting like a genocidal nazi Aryan. He lies like Hitler, kills like Hitler, and has his mind wrapped around world domination or nuclear destruction.  Basically, he's acting like the dictator who tried to wipe Russia off the face of the earth.

Has a therapist ever made you cry?

Yes! Back in 2000, I was talking to a psychologist about my divorce and he told me I suffered from PTSD. That was BS because I’d never seen combat. His brother was in the Navy and he and I found common ground discussing my Intelligence career.

He smiled and walked me through the “PTSD” I was in denial over. The way I walked into the office, where I sat, looking out the window constantly, all the while acting “normal” to anyone not looking for a tell. He told me he was the therapist, so stop I could stop trying to get in his head. I didn’t realize I was. Another tell. My two paltry years of psychology couldn’t compete.

I came to grips with the fact that I was the quintessential Jack Reacher. Sit in the back of the cafe, noting where the rear exit was, available weapons at hand, and constantly checking the comings and goings through the front door. A large pot of coffee (leave it on the table, please. Like I wasn’t high-active enough), eat and sleep when you can, try to determine everyone’s game, and always get the information you’re after. Intelligence was not kind to my subconscious, and don’t even ask what you can accomplish with a plastic “fast food” knife.

He handed me a tissue and I asked him what that was for? He told me to check my eyes. That's when I broke down. Nope. You don’t have to be in combat.

What good thing do you actually suspect is bad?

Social media.

Does living a too honest life actually pay?

It will pay off in the end, but, in the meantime, you will constantly get bit in the butt. It is a test of your will to stand by your personal moral ethics. It is a good test to pass, though most people might look at you like you’re nuts for not bending a little. In the end, you will know you lived a good life and always did the right thing, if not also the more difficult.

How do you help a couple who blames each other for their children's choice?

It would help to know how old the child is and what the choice was. Or, we could just spitball and see if we hit anything.

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

-- James Baldwin

How can you tell if something you are doing is a real weakness or if it’s actually a strength but you just feel insecure and lack confidence about it?

Public speaking was this for me. I had to learn that I was the briefer and, as the briefer, I was in control of the briefing. I made it my mission to learn how to project and enunciate my words, expand upon crib notes, and admit a lack of knowledge but I’d get back to them with an answer. My “weakness” became something I trained other Intelligence briefers to excel in.

Has anyone ever been asked a question about what you want to rather do and then they ignore your answer and just decide on their own?

Yep. I ask them why they wasted time asking me. It was the polite thing to do. What was ignoring me? I’m not the confused one here.

Should I tell my ex's new girlfriend that I slept with him while they were together?

Has she done anything to you, or is this all about what you’ve done to her? I suppose if you want to hurt her as much as he is going to, go ahead. Better yet, be better than he is and stop seeing him. She’ll find out who he really is in due time.

What question would you never ask a woman?

Anything about their sexual desires. They can tell me or I’ll find out in due time. This hasn’t always worked out as planned, however. Fur-lined handcuffs? Really?

How long would it take to roast a human?

You cooking?

“Maybe the cat has fallen into the stew, or the lettuce has frozen, or the cake has collapsed. Eh bien, tant pis. Usually, one's cooking is better than one thinks it is. And if the food is truly vile, then the cook must simply grit her teeth and bear it with a smile, and learn from her mistakes.”

-- Julia Child

Why does the loudest person always get their needs met?

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. The annoying ass gets their needs met. It isn't fair. But, in lieu of letting someone murder them...

What should you never say when you're in love?

I’ve found someone else?

What's your go-to excuse for getting out of an obligation?

If there is a reason it is not an excuse, it’s a reason. An “obligation” is something you shouldn’t try to get out of. Know it is an obligation when you make it, and that it will be your responsibility to follow through with it, barring unforeseen circumstances. My “unforeseen” would revolve around the elderly mother I take care of.

What do you do if you see a shark egg?

Check your six.

Why can men not handle disrespectful women?

Because we set a bar. It always amazes me that so many women seem to put up with disrespectful men. I see this all the time and wonder why they don’t dump the ass and find someone more respectful of them.

"There's a difference between being blunt and being disrespectful. To be upfront and honest doesn't necessarily imply that one must be harsh."

-- Unknown

Is it eavesdropping if you hear a conversation that you don't want to listen to?

It is if you don’t stop listening to it. If you don’t want to listen to it, leave. Or, tell them to take it somewhere else. 

What might be making Putin unhappy right now?

That is the least we can do for him. I’m fully for doing so much more. I’d like him on his knees crying for mercy or hanging from a tree. Nothing too good for a war criminal.

How do you please a Russian woman?

Ask a Russian man.

How do you stop getting jealous of someone who doesn't put effort and does better than you?

Is feeling jealous making you any better? If not, then the effort of being “jealous” is being wasted. Better to put the “wasted” effort into being better. If you aren’t as good, the reason, the “why” of it, can usually be found with you. Focus, try harder, be better, ask the one who is putting in little effort how they manage to excel with so little effort.

Does it matter if you lie about being an atheist?

No one lies about being a deist, why would an atheist lie about being an atheist?

“Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship—be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles—is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth upfront in daily consciousness.”

-- David Foster Wallace

Is human suiciding good for animals?

Only if you do it out in the woods.

Can you be over someone but still love them?

I spent 25 years loving my wife. She spent 25 years trying to destroy our marriage. I love her for giving me two great children. I hate her for lying to me for 25 years, I am so much better off since the divorce, but, even though I hate her, love is something I can’t just switch off. People like her can do that. I don’t have it in me.

Why do humans say “ouch”?

Well, society frowns at strings of cursing that might make sailors blush.

Can we see a picture of your wife?

I burned all of them in 2000, after the divorce.  I didn't want all the memories lingering in my life.  I needed to move on.

 How do you know if someone is a brunette? Is it not polite to ask?

“In lieu of giving you an undeserved pant-down spanking, I love your hair color. Is it natural?” 

"I was at a U2 concert and someone asked me if my hair color was real... I thought to myself, if I had $1 for every time someone asked me this, I would be very rich."

-- Angie Everhart

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com