Questions of Trauma, Innuendo, Dishonor, and Relationships

 

“You can’t save others from themselves because those who make a perpetual muddle of their lives don’t appreciate your interfering with the drama they’ve created. They want your poor-sweet-baby sympathy, but they don’t want to change.”

-- Sue Grafton

How much satisfaction do you gain today on a scale of 1-10? Why?

10, because I’m still on this side of the dirt. The “gift” of another day in paradise and another chance to excel in life. Doesn’t get much better than this. The alternative simply sucks.

If you could totally erase one specific trauma of your life, what would it be?

My divorce, after 25 years of marriage.

How do I let my wife know that no other woman measures up to her?

Never let your wife know you compare her to other women! Tell her you don’t find the need to look at other women because you found the love of your life in her. Yes, she’ll think you're full of shit, but she will love you for the sentiment.

If a guy thinks about another guy in a sexual way almost every day what does that mean?

What do you think it means?

How do you handle things when the man you dated (now an ex) starts telling people you're a whore and saying many terrible things about you? I feel terrible.

Whether it’s true or not, it shows what kind of a person he is. A real man has no reason to say these things, and if they’re true, you might want to do a bit of introspection. When People bring this up, simply say it says more about his immaturity than it does about your sex life.

“I find suggestion a hell of a lot more provocative than explicit detail. You didn't see Clark and Vivien rolling around in bed in Gone With The Wind, but you saw that shit eating grin on her face the next morning and you knew damned well she'd gotten properly laid.”

-- Joan Crawford

Should you live your life impressing others?

You will find yourself better served by impressing yourself. Start by practicing humility.

Why does my boyfriend always get mad at me for getting mad at him for doing the wrong thing?

Tit for tat. Two wrongs don’t make it right. How about having a discussion instead of getting mad? How about helping him to do the right thing so he can learn?

What do you do when you're tired of living?

Take a well-deserved nap. I find myself ready to do some more living, afterward.

Does the thought of happiness create happiness?

Happiness is a choice each of us must make for our life. If you choose to be truly happy always and in everything you do, regardless of your circumstances, this is truly sustainable happiness that will follow throughout your life. The mere thought of happiness can put you on the road to discovering the true happiness hidden inside of you.

Are you a person who is very ignorant?

According to many in the League of the Perpetually Offended, yes. I delight in it.

“When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21, I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.”

-- Mark Twain 

Does ignoring someone I dislike make me a bad person? I just want my piece of mind.

You already have a "piece" of mind, but, I'll give you a piece of mine, just in case. The best way to have "peace" of mind is to keep drama from your door. But, you might want to have a discussion with yourself about why you don’t like the person. You might find a way to bring them along and like them for their flaws. Now, I say this as a self-proclaimed hypocrite, knowing full well I ignore members of the League of the Perpetually Offended. I do this because their offense will be perpetual, there is nothing to do about it, and I hate having perpetual drama at my door.

Do people still believe in superstitions in this era?

Just ask an atheist.

How do you let go of someone important?

If you don’t release them they will find you to be a bit overbearing. Better to stay in touch and file the good memoried where you can remember them always.

Why does he say I’m the most beautiful he knows?

You probably are. I have women I have said this about and, yet, I keep finding one that raises the bar. It says nothing negative about the others, however, since they are all beautiful to me. Whether or not you "medal" at the Olympics, you have earned the right to be there.

What do you call a person that dishonors their own country?

Traitor.

“Where there is disrespect and dishonor normally grace and mercy disappear meanwhile privileges and favors tend to automatically cease.”

-- Dr. Lucas D. Shallua

What can you do if your wife doesn't want to have sex?

Divorce her and look for someone more fun.

I'm increasingly annoyed by people who obviously "just want to talk" without actually seeking a solution to a problem. Women seem especially prone to this behavior. Is this wrong or inhumane?

This is like people who berate you for your answers yet never answer any questions. They really want to talk, but all they ever seem to do is talk, they never have any solutions except that you are wrong. I don’t think this behavior is more prevalent in one sex over the other. I don’t think you are wrong or inhumane as much as they are annoying.

Does the Earth belong to humans?

We are caretakers, and not doing a very good job of it.

Why do you refuse to be drawn into other people's problems?

If I wanted other people’s problems I’d be in front of the television watching soap operas. With all the drama in ordinary life, people still watch soap operas. Why don’t they just live their life?

I don’t do other people’s drama, because I’ve done my own. I found the best choice is to leave all drama somewhere else and concern yourself with being happy always and in all things. It takes so much less effort than to wallow in misery all the time.

Does someone wearing a mask anger you?

What angers me is if I don’t realize it within a few minutes.  Oh, wait, you're talking Covid-19.  Silly me, I thought a bit deeper than that.

“We understand how dangerous a mask can be. We all become what we pretend to be.”

-- Patrick Rothfuss

Should suicide be a human right? If not, then why don't they own control of their own life?

Whether society agrees with it, or not, it really is your right to off yourself. You can jump off a cliff, a bridge, a building, put a gun to your head, cut your wrists, take drugs, all of this, and more, you are free to do to yourself. You are in control of your own life, just don’t let society know what you have in mind.

My boyfriend said all men are ugly and all women are beautiful and that my student was ugly. What do I do?

Find someone not so judgmental.

Is it wrong to think "if no one loves me, I will love myself"?

You should love yourself, first. If you can’t love yourself, How do you really expect to truly love someone else?

What is the purpose of your purpose?

To have a purpose.

Is there a name in logic where an argument is fallaciously won by saying, "I am not wasting any more time with you."?

A “win” has a loser. If one side decides to waste no more time on the argument, the other side “wins” by default. I don’t know what it’s called, other than a “win by default,” the fault is that of the person not being able to convince the other side. I lose by default constantly when trying to have an intelligent discussion with the League of the Perpetually Offended. They tend to enter the conversation with the full intent not to listen to any answer to their question. Basically, you lose before you start.

Author's comment:  The question is asking if there is a name for this fallacy. Winning or losing are just expressions to illustrate the question.

My reply:  Not according to the question. It specifically addresses fallaciously “won.”

Author's reply: Yes, but the word win has many meanings. It is quite clear that it does not mean what you claim it is. E.g. the phrase, to win an argument does not imply anyone has to lose anything.

My reply: It is anything but clear, except for you. I suggest it be clarified so we all know what it really means.

“An open Facebook page is simply a psychiatric dry erase board that screams, “Look at me. I am insecure. I need your reaction to what I am doing, but you’re not cool enough to be my friend. Therefore, I will just pray you see this because the approval of God is not all I need.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com