Questioning Wisdom, Compromise, Choices, and Right

You are no longer human, with all those depths and highs and nuances of emotion that define you as a person.

There is no feeling anymore because to feel any emotion would also be to beckon the overwhelming blackness from you. My mind has now locked all this down. And without any control of this self-defense mechanism, my subconscious has operated. I do not feel any more.

-- Jake Wood

What does feeling like I’m gonna be successful since I was young (6 years old) mean? I’ve always had this feeling and since last year, I’ve been felt it more than ever and after this, I opened my business.

You have lived before. You brought this ability to create with you into this existence. Attaining goals for you was no big feat in the last life, and you will find it no big feat in this one. But, you must remember, hard work and don’t get cocky.

How much importance do you place on external validation?

Very little. I didn’t look for it in the military, either. They gave it to me, anyway, but, unless I thought it was prudent to my career, I paid little attention to it.

How does one know a wise person?

Everything they say makes a lot of sense. But, if the wise person is also smart and humble, you won’t know him. Everything he says makes a lot of sense, but he will keep his own counsel unless asked. You have the God-given right to shut up, and they take that to heart.

Should I be mad with someone who made a group without me?

Are you that needy? People do things without others all the time. There might be a reason, or not. It really shouldn’t matter.

What consequences can you think occur because of communicating in an unethical manner?

I think Nietzsche stated this pretty clearly:

“I'm not upset that you lied to me, I'm upset that from now on I can't believe you.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Why are some people academically educated, but maritally uneducated?

I think you see those who spent way too much time on academics and not so much on interpersonal relationships. Let’s face it, love tends to rattle the brain.

How do I become my wife for a hot wife?

Wha… what?

What do you say about Putin?

He’s on his way to defying all the laws of armed conflict, which is also known as the law of war, or international humanitarian law. Defying these laws by targeting civilians, hospitals, schools, apartment buildings, etc., makes him a war criminal. He is worse than a Nazi. He is a terrorist with a country and a seat at the United Nations. There are more than a few just like him in the world. 

What are some things that seem sensible but give you a lot of problems?

Taking care of my 88-year-old mother. It seems the sensible thing to do, after all, she did raise me for 18 years. If that was as big of a pain in the ass as this is, she earned it.

What do you compromise on for happiness?

Marriage. After the one and only, I swore off of ever getting married again. I have been exceptionally happy ever since.

“I cannot compromise my respect for your love. You can keep your love, I will keep my respect.”

-- Amit Kalantri

I’m straight. I’m drawn to all things feminine: I check out girls for their clothes and purses, I wear panties all day, keep my body shaved, pee sitting, occasionally fantasize sex with men. So, what does it say about me?

And… you think you’re straight? There is no shame in being who you are, and if people think there is, it says more about them than it does you.

Author's comment:  Yes. But… Some additional info: I have only been thus far sexually involved with women. I have never been with a man. But I get aroused when thinking about sex with men. I’m not actually attracted to men, I am sexually attracted to women.  Occasionally I see a particular man that I think is cute and am attracted to. But as said, I am drawn into being feminine but, so far, keeping it as much as I can on the down-low. I have chosen a female name that I use on [this site]. I search out feminine topics and ideas. I have a steady intimate relationship with a live-in girlfriend who thus far hasn’t said anything negative or questioned my heterosexuality. I hope this further elaboration helps to answer my question. I guess I am questioning my sexuality, my so-called gender? Or, maybe trying to find out if others think, feel, or can relate in some way, with me.

My reply:  You guess you're questioning your sexuality?  Ya think?  So, basically, you’re like Caitlyn Marie Jenner, except that Jenner actually changed to a woman but still likes women. I suppose this makes “her” a lesbian. Whatever works, I suppose.

When my boyfriend is upset with me, he doesn’t want to have sex with me. What does this mean?

He’s upset with you.

Any successful method to make the right choice between two options, two things or two people, other than comparing their pros and cons?

Whether you like it or not. The person may have little redeeming values, but you just love the heck out of them for being who they are. There is little to say against eating healthy, but eating less than healthy sure does taste better. 

Pros and cons are good, but they don’t always work to sway our likes and dislikes. Sometimes, it is what it is, and that works just fine.

Is language perfect? Why or why not?

Language is perfect. Those who speak it, however, aren’t necessarily up to the challenge. If people were "perfect" there wouldn’t be so much misunderstanding of what we say to each other.

Reader comment:  All languages have blind spots and ambiguities. In Spanish, “caminamos” can mean both “We are walking” and “We were walking.” Welsh uses the same wording for “after we walk home” and “after we walked home.”

Finnish has no gender pronouns, and English has them only in the singular - and we have no gender-neutral, third-person singular pronoun. In English, “next Tuesday” and similar phrases cause endless confusion. “Sanction” has two opposite meanings: punishment and certification.

The wonder is that we understand one another so well!

My reply:  Again, if only people were perfect. 

Why do you not have tattoos?

I abhor needles. I was very happy in military intelligence that they ruled Intelligence personnel were restricted from getting any “body art” due to possible interrogation and torture issues if we were to be captured. That was so okay with me.  A quote to the military point:

“I am a canvas of my experiences, my story is etched in lines and shading, and you can read it on my arms, my legs, my shoulders, and my stomach.”

-- Kat Von D

What should I do if my wife doesn't like my child?

Where does your loyalty lie? People should weigh this stuff before getting married to people who don’t “like” aspects of their lives. Personally, I’d cut her loose before you have too much history. But, then, my children are everything to me.

If my wife denied me sex for a month with flimsy excuses, does that justify my cheating on her?

Sounds, to me, like she beat you to it.

How did you deal with such failure?

I’m not sure what “such” failure you’re discussing, but, a thought on failure, for you. Failure is simply an opportunity for you to learn. Failure, for all the bad we heap onto it, is simply the best way for us to learn. Failure is not bad if you use it to your benefit. Critique why you went wrong, make the correction and try again, and again until you get it right. Never let a good failure go to waste.

If you could relive a moment in your life, which would it be?

You mean, like, saying “I do” to the Justice of the Peace? Yeah, I’d like to take that back, but my two children might balk at it.

How do I get over being bullied, laughed at, and persistently called ugly?

Learn one of the martial arts. When you earn your “black belt” you can provide a demonstration with a “volunteer” of your choice. It will only take one to get your point across. Don’t hurt them too badly.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” 

-- Aristotle

What do I do when I am not proud of what I have done?

Undo it. One must always do that which is right.

Is it okay if I become way less talkative and listen more? People always say "be yourself", but I feel like I want to change.

You have the God-given right to shut up. Very smart people listen more than they talk, and when they talk they really have something to listen to.

As far as “be yourself” is concerned, it is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is again. If you feel like changing, then do so. You will still be yourself, only different. After all, change is the only true constant in the universe.

Is there a human without emotion?

Serial killers?

Is it wrong to cancel plans with my boyfriend to spend time with my grandma?

Nope. Grandma isn’t forever, and if the boyfriend can’t understand that, neither is he.

How and when could revenge be justifiable?

When every aspect of societal law has failed, and you know beyond a doubt the person is guilty. There are two problems with “justifiable” revenge. The first is that societal law usually frowns on it. The second is the ever-present karma that will be visited upon you, usually in the guise of societal law. Better to leave the perpetrator to their own karma, and keep working the system.

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”

-- Marcus Aurelius

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com