Questions of Cheating, Truth, Emotions, and... Hitler?

 

“Who has inflicted this upon us? Who has made us Jews different from all other people? Who has allowed us to suffer so terribly up till now? It is God that has made us as we are, but it will be God, too, who will raise us up again. If we bear all this suffering and if there are still Jews left, when it is over, then Jews, instead of being doomed, will be held up as an example.”

-- Anne Frank

What should I do when the guy who courts me was a husband of 3 wives with 4 kids?

So, you really want to be number 4? I’d be interested in knowing how much he’s paying out to them that won’t be in your “war chest” when you marry him. Just a thought.

What should I do if I don’t trust my wife?

Divorce her. A relationship without trust is not a good relationship.

How can we hold people accountable for their actions without violence?

Isn’t this what we have a “court of law” for? If it isn’t about law, you have the right to disown them, to walk away, to deny their existence, to fire them from the job, to saddle them with your “soon to be” ex-wife, all of which can be done without violence or hatred. The “soon to be “ ex-wife might be surprised but, hey, actions have consequences.

What’s a great way to answer not knowing something?

“This is not in my wheelhouse.” “I am clueless.” “Not being the sharpest tool in this shed, I have no answer.” “What?” “I’m like a pig staring at a wristwatch.” “Wha… What?”

Does a fact truly make something correct?

If the fact is pertinent to the “something” being correct, probably.

“The explanation requiring the fewest assumptions is most likely to be correct.”

-- Franciscan friar William of Ockham

What would happen if everyone’s dreams come true?

A bunch of us would find ourselves involved with the same person unless we had the forethought to dream of being the only one involved with them. Husbands would find other men with their wives, or their wives with other men. This is exactly why everyone’s dreams can't come true. Nobody is really capable of thinking deep enough, situationally.

Is there a suicide method with brain death?

If you’re dead, so goes the brain. Committing suicide kind of takes care of this. Failing at suicide is where you have issues.

Is excessive social media use considered a coping mechanism?

I would consider it so. I see it as coping with not having a real life. Anything done to excess is usually a bad thing. One should consider getting out and having face-to-face interpersonal conversations. Turn off the phone and laptop, and take a break from technology for an evening of fun with friends. The fact there is no phone will mean they actually will pay 100% of their attention to their friends and not technology. It is a concept.

All of the men I liked are either extremely insecure or/and jealous of me. What should I do?

Find a real man who is as secure in himself as he is in love with you.

My husband is a narcissist. I've started to disengage and not react emotionally to his outbursts and accusations. Is this the right way to deal?

The right way to deal is to get out of this relationship. It isn’t healthy for you, or anybody, for that matter. You made a poor choice, but you have the right to correct it if you can deal with more of his impending outbursts and accusations. You have a choice to make.

“The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears.”

-- Erich Fromm

What should you never do when you feel angry?

Never deal immediately with what or who made you angry. It is always better to take a moment and calm down so you don’t do or say anything totally stupid.

Why does my fiancé call me perfect?

This is dangerous to answer because there is always something better. Nobody is perfect. If she called you “excellent” she leaves herself some room to maneuver. You might want to see if “but, you said I was perfect” tastes like vinegar when you say it. Just saying.

Where does responsibility begin?

With yourself. If you can’t be responsible for yourself how well do you think you can be responsible for anything else?

What is that one thing every guy in a relationship should know?

Unless you both plan on working to sustain being the quintessential couple, nothing lasts forever. Change is the only true constant in the universe.

Why do wrong thoughts feel good sometimes?

Because thinking about those people just seems like the right thing to do, even if what you’re doing together is so very wrong.

“Everything good in life is either immoral, illegal or fattening.”

-- Nicole Richie

What is the one thing you want to be sure of?

Who I plan on spending the rest of my life with.

Do you know you are bothering someone else?

If I know, then it is intentional. If I don’t know, then they haven’t exercised their right to tell me I’m bothering them. If they do this, I will know. I may not care, but, at least, I will know.

What is the one thing you did that instantly made a girl become interested?

I was the one guy in the bar who said yes.

What were your actions to be a responsible adult to achieve your goals?

I joined the military and learned everything I didn’t know.

What’s the toughest responsibility you’ve ever had?

Making a “marginal” rating Intelligence Division into an “excellent” rating in less than six months. Dumbest thing I ever did. I became the “go-to” for cleaning up other people’s messes in between inspections.

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

-- Sigmund Freud

All I have to do to make friends is be myself. What if myself is Hitler? What do I do then?

Look up Himmler, Göring, Goebbels, Bormann, play some poker or the board game “Risk,” roast some pork in the oven, talk about old times, plan on moving to Argentina. 

Who decided that 20-year-olds and 30-year-olds are in different life stages? I don’t actually feel that way. The so-called life stages are manmade and do not apply to all individuals. I don't feel like settling down and having kids. I feel young!

There are always going to be exceptions.

If my boss sends me home repeatedly, should I find another job?

If you aren’t getting paid for going home, absolutely. If the job is becoming stressful, yes. If your boss is being a prick, playing favorites, working the HR system - yes, yes, yes.

What’s the most important thing you have to cross off your bucket list before it’s too late?

A week-long cruise to the Bahamas. I could do it now, but I have to take care of my elderly mother.

I am having an affair with my professor and he won't leave his wife. I shaved my head out of anger and he said I was crazy but he still sleeps with me. How do I stop this?

Well, you seem to be the problem here. He’s getting a free piece of ass from a “crazy” person. Are your grades reflecting how good you are in bed? How is that setting with you? If I were you, after the final grade, I cut him off. He really has more to lose than you do.

“The teacher should be like the conductor in the orchestra, not the trainer in the circus.”

-- Abhijit Naskar

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com