Questioning In-laws, Luck, Reality, and... Teddies?

“A teddy bear is the kid’s first friend and the memories they make with them stays longer than their childhood.”

-- Sarvesh Jain

What if your in-laws don't like you?

You aren’t married to the in-laws. Wait till you have a carrot. I’m sorry, wait till they have grandchildren (i.e., your carrot).

How do I handle a guy that is really good in bed?

First, make sure your hands are warm.

Why do you choose to have answers?

I choose to have questions, not answers, because, well, there are those who think I’m full of it, and I probably am. I just don’t seem to have any meaningful questions. The only one I have would be, “Why?” The obvious answer would be, “Because.” And, rightly so, because it would be my answer. Questions and answers exist because the universe demands balance in all things, just as it also demands change.

What’s the most subtle red flag in a relationship?

A new sexual position is subtly introduced like you’ve been doing it always.

Are we on this planet to do nothing or something?

We are in this existence to learn lessons life throws our way. Lessons concerning choices and decisions. For some, the lessons are harder than for others. It could be that the others have learned how to make the right choices and decisions, or at least how to learn from their failures.

You can make the choice to do nothing. You can do nothing for as many lives as you wish to waste. It is your choice. Sooner or later, however, you will decide to move on. A difficult choice, as you haven’t done anything for so long you’ll have to learn all over again how to be productive.

“Why are we here? Why didn't God just make us and place us in Heaven? What is this place called Earth we're sent to reside in until we're called to live in Heaven for eternity? Training Camp Earth...it is the reason we're here. It is simply a training camp of lesson after lesson to build strength and our relationship with God before we go home. What lesson is God working on in your life today?”

-- Kimberly Loving Ross

How would you react if your co-worker lashed out and started yelling "I am not suicidal"?

“Are you sure you want to go with that?”

How do you hurt someone’s image?

Dig up some serious dirt that can be proved. This is about as unethical as having the dirt and hiding it. Digging it up is going to be karma coming back to haunt them. What karma will haunt the diggers? This is the better question.

Do good luck and bad luck exist in nature?

There must be balance.

What do you call someone who accepts challenges?

An ultimate loser.

Does a guy really want to be with the girl he cheats with?

Great sex with him, the other guy, the guy next door, the pizza delivery guy, yeah, want to be with her. Good call. If she doing a guy she knows is cheating, what are the chances she simply likes adventuresome sex?

“Delusion detests focus and romance provides the veil.”

-- Suzanne Finnamore

When do red flags start to show up in a relationship?

Unless you’re perfect? When the cheating commences.

Why am I imagining having sex with my work partner?

Uh… really? Maybe, and I’m just spitballing here, you really want to have sex with your work partner?

Would you date someone who owned a business with their ex?

Are they better looking and more well-adjusted than your ex? Nothing wrong with raising the bar and letting her know it. It is a subtle “in your face.”

Why did my boyfriend tell me he only wants to see me once a month?

Not your boyfriend.

My wife of 20 years has gone from zero to 100 in bed. What’s going on?

What, or who? Before you jump to my conclusions, better try asking her.

"No great thing is created suddenly."

-- Epictetus

An ex-girlfriend from high school reached out to my husband and told them she felt violated in their sexual relationship. My husband had no idea she felt that way and feels horrified and guilty and apologized. I don't know I can get past it. What do I do?

It was high school. Neither of them knew what they were doing. She should have mentioned it back then. There’s nothing to it. Move on with life.

Or… have you felt violated? I’d be interested in asking him why you haven't had the same treatment. Does he feel "different" around you? Not as “rough and tumble,” as with her? What does she have that you don’t?

I’m kidding, of course, but there is more than one way to look at everything. She sees it one way, he might see it another, you might see it several other ways. Who is right? Personally, I’d be interested in what she defines “violation” as. Kinky?

How far can you go to get it?

That all depends on what, or who, I’m going to get.

What does it mean to you to "choose truth over facts"?

The only way you can choose truth over “facts” is if you know, without doubt, what the truth is and that the facts are wrong. If the facts are incontrovertible, what the truth is, must be a lie.

But, what if the truth and the facts are both incontrovertible? Then we must stop asking what and start asking why? Why are the “facts” different from the “truth” and, yet, both are valid? An “X” factor? Now we are back to “what?” What is the “X” factor? How do you choose truth over facts when both are valid and, yet, wrong?

I’m so confused. The butler did it.

What do you believe is absolutely real?

Me. I think, therefore, I am. I’m not absolutely certain of anything else.

What is the best way to get back at a cheating spouse?

Divorce them before they contract an incurable STD.

“If it's true that men and women can be 'just friends' then how come all cheaters first start out as 'just friends?”

-- Oliver Markus Malloy

What if bad is actually good, and the good we think is actually bad?

Wait. Wait a damned minute. Oh-My-God!

Is cheating on someone who’s cheating on you okay?

Why are you together? Jeeze! How about finding a solid relationship? If this keeps up, you’re looking toward a foursome. A foursome. Hmmm… Then, again…

If an adult woman rarely slept with teddies as a kid, but recently started being quite dependent on sleeping with one, even though she shares a bed with her partner (who always comes to bed much later tho), is this a reason for concern?

Only if you’re doing kinky stuff with Ted. I wouldn’t worry about it. Consider it sucking your thumb.

Can we commit infidelity by accident?

Not if you know you’re married.

How can people lie to someone they love?

They can’t. Make you wonder, doesn't it?

“When truth is replaced by silence, the silence is a lie.”

-- Yevgeny Yevtushenko

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com