Questions of Therapy, Honesty, Respect, and Russians

 

"From child to KGB pornstar, to a war criminal.

Who knew?"

-- Me

What race is Vladimir Putin?

Well, right now he’s acting like a genocidal nazi Aryan. He lies like Hitler, kills like Hitler, and has his mind wrapped around world domination or nuclear destruction.  Basically, he's acting like the dictator who tried to wipe Russia off the face of the earth.

Has a therapist ever made you cry?

Yes! Back in 2000, I was talking to a psychologist about my divorce and he told me I suffered from PTSD. That was BS because I’d never seen combat. His brother was in the Navy and he and I found common ground discussing my Intelligence career.

He smiled and walked me through the “PTSD” I was in denial over. The way I walked into the office, where I sat, looking out the window constantly, all the while acting “normal” to anyone not looking for a tell. He told me he was the therapist, so stop I could stop trying to get in his head. I didn’t realize I was. Another tell. My two paltry years of psychology couldn’t compete.

I came to grips with the fact that I was the quintessential Jack Reacher. Sit in the back of the cafe, noting where the rear exit was, available weapons at hand, and constantly checking the comings and goings through the front door. A large pot of coffee (leave it on the table, please. Like I wasn’t high-active enough), eat and sleep when you can, try to determine everyone’s game, and always get the information you’re after. Intelligence was not kind to my subconscious, and don’t even ask what you can accomplish with a plastic “fast food” knife.

He handed me a tissue and I asked him what that was for? He told me to check my eyes. That's when I broke down. Nope. You don’t have to be in combat.

What good thing do you actually suspect is bad?

Social media.

Does living a too honest life actually pay?

It will pay off in the end, but, in the meantime, you will constantly get bit in the butt. It is a test of your will to stand by your personal moral ethics. It is a good test to pass, though most people might look at you like you’re nuts for not bending a little. In the end, you will know you lived a good life and always did the right thing, if not also the more difficult.

How do you help a couple who blames each other for their children's choice?

It would help to know how old the child is and what the choice was. Or, we could just spitball and see if we hit anything.

“Children have never been very good at listening to their elders, but they have never failed to imitate them.”

-- James Baldwin

How can you tell if something you are doing is a real weakness or if it’s actually a strength but you just feel insecure and lack confidence about it?

Public speaking was this for me. I had to learn that I was the briefer and, as the briefer, I was in control of the briefing. I made it my mission to learn how to project and enunciate my words, expand upon crib notes, and admit a lack of knowledge but I’d get back to them with an answer. My “weakness” became something I trained other Intelligence briefers to excel in.

Has anyone ever been asked a question about what you want to rather do and then they ignore your answer and just decide on their own?

Yep. I ask them why they wasted time asking me. It was the polite thing to do. What was ignoring me? I’m not the confused one here.

Should I tell my ex's new girlfriend that I slept with him while they were together?

Has she done anything to you, or is this all about what you’ve done to her? I suppose if you want to hurt her as much as he is going to, go ahead. Better yet, be better than he is and stop seeing him. She’ll find out who he really is in due time.

What question would you never ask a woman?

Anything about their sexual desires. They can tell me or I’ll find out in due time. This hasn’t always worked out as planned, however. Fur-lined handcuffs? Really?

How long would it take to roast a human?

You cooking?

“Maybe the cat has fallen into the stew, or the lettuce has frozen, or the cake has collapsed. Eh bien, tant pis. Usually, one's cooking is better than one thinks it is. And if the food is truly vile, then the cook must simply grit her teeth and bear it with a smile, and learn from her mistakes.”

-- Julia Child

Why does the loudest person always get their needs met?

The squeaky wheel gets the grease. The annoying ass gets their needs met. It isn't fair. But, in lieu of letting someone murder them...

What should you never say when you're in love?

I’ve found someone else?

What's your go-to excuse for getting out of an obligation?

If there is a reason it is not an excuse, it’s a reason. An “obligation” is something you shouldn’t try to get out of. Know it is an obligation when you make it, and that it will be your responsibility to follow through with it, barring unforeseen circumstances. My “unforeseen” would revolve around the elderly mother I take care of.

What do you do if you see a shark egg?

Check your six.

Why can men not handle disrespectful women?

Because we set a bar. It always amazes me that so many women seem to put up with disrespectful men. I see this all the time and wonder why they don’t dump the ass and find someone more respectful of them.

"There's a difference between being blunt and being disrespectful. To be upfront and honest doesn't necessarily imply that one must be harsh."

-- Unknown

Is it eavesdropping if you hear a conversation that you don't want to listen to?

It is if you don’t stop listening to it. If you don’t want to listen to it, leave. Or, tell them to take it somewhere else. 

What might be making Putin unhappy right now?

That is the least we can do for him. I’m fully for doing so much more. I’d like him on his knees crying for mercy or hanging from a tree. Nothing too good for a war criminal.

How do you please a Russian woman?

Ask a Russian man.

How do you stop getting jealous of someone who doesn't put effort and does better than you?

Is feeling jealous making you any better? If not, then the effort of being “jealous” is being wasted. Better to put the “wasted” effort into being better. If you aren’t as good, the reason, the “why” of it, can usually be found with you. Focus, try harder, be better, ask the one who is putting in little effort how they manage to excel with so little effort.

Does it matter if you lie about being an atheist?

No one lies about being a deist, why would an atheist lie about being an atheist?

“Because here's something else that's weird but true: in the day-to-day trenches of adult life, there is actually no such thing as atheism. There is no such thing as not worshipping. Everybody worships. The only choice we get is what to worship. And the compelling reason for maybe choosing some sort of god or spiritual-type thing to worship—be it JC or Allah, be it YHWH or the Wiccan Mother Goddess, or the Four Noble Truths, or some inviolable set of ethical principles—is that pretty much anything else you worship will eat you alive. If you worship money and things, if they are where you tap real meaning in life, then you will never have enough, never feel you have enough. It's the truth. Worship your body and beauty and sexual allure and you will always feel ugly. And when time and age start showing, you will die a million deaths before they finally grieve you. On one level, we all know this stuff already. It's been codified as myths, proverbs, clichés, epigrams, parables; the skeleton of every great story. The whole trick is keeping the truth upfront in daily consciousness.”

-- David Foster Wallace

Is human suiciding good for animals?

Only if you do it out in the woods.

Can you be over someone but still love them?

I spent 25 years loving my wife. She spent 25 years trying to destroy our marriage. I love her for giving me two great children. I hate her for lying to me for 25 years, I am so much better off since the divorce, but, even though I hate her, love is something I can’t just switch off. People like her can do that. I don’t have it in me.

Why do humans say “ouch”?

Well, society frowns at strings of cursing that might make sailors blush.

Can we see a picture of your wife?

I burned all of them in 2000, after the divorce.  I didn't want all the memories lingering in my life.  I needed to move on.

 How do you know if someone is a brunette? Is it not polite to ask?

“In lieu of giving you an undeserved pant-down spanking, I love your hair color. Is it natural?” 

"I was at a U2 concert and someone asked me if my hair color was real... I thought to myself, if I had $1 for every time someone asked me this, I would be very rich."

-- Angie Everhart

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com