Questioning Decisions, Opinions, Judgements, and Values

 

“Dance. Smile. Giggle. Marvel. TRUST. HOPE. LOVE. WISH. BELIEVE. Most of all, enjoy every moment of the journey, and appreciate where you are at this moment instead of always focusing on how far you have to go.”

-- Mandy Hale

Do people actually make independent decisions?

I decide, independently, when I need to sleep, eat, work, fall in lust, etc., and so on. But, then, I’m retired. Even when I had a job, though, it was my free choice to go to work, and it was also my free choice to work hard and to the best of my ability. “Independent decisions” are, by definition, your free decisions, and choices, not coerced by others.

What is that phrase that marked your life?

“Failure is simply an opportunity to learn.”

Are glass half full people more successful on average than glass half empty people?

I would think that “glass half full” people have, more times than not, positive attitudes, whereas, “glass half empty” people, more times than not, have negative attitudes. This would lead me to believe the positive folks would probably attain their goals faster due to positive, can-do attitudes, and perseverance.

What trait or skill makes your cat smarter than any dog?

Patience.

Can you give an example of what Abraham Maslow meant when he said, "You will either step forward into growth, or you will step backward into safety"?

It would have been so much safer for me to continue my college degree in psychology than to step forward into military intelligence when I was drafted during the end of the Vietnam police action (war). I decided the patriotic action was to join.

I grew significantly and in so many ways by joining up. I learned management and supervision, teamwork, comradery, perseverance, as well as world, and U.S. political and military science, things I would have never really experienced. I found myself fulfilled in so many ways I stayed in for almost 23 years, retired, and took everything I learned with me back into civilian life. I never looked back.

“If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.”

-- Abraham Maslow

Would you prefer to never be wrong or make what you’re doing wrong right?

You don’t move forward without mistakes and failure. If you’re never wrong, where is the impetus for making anything better? Failure is the best way we learn. If you fire someone for making a mistake, now you have a new employee that might make the same mistake while the old employee has moved on to a competitor with what they’ve learned.

Is taking ownership a strength?

It is a strength and an ethical value. Not everyone is ethical enough to take ownership of their choices, decisions, and actions. It takes strength of character.

Does it bother you when anybody refuses to accept your own strengths and/or weaknesses?

I worry about myself. My opinion of me is what counts. What everybody else thinks about my strengths and weaknesses is so mot important when put up against what I think. I hear them, I take note, but it simply doesn’t bother me. I also don’t think anyone should give a rat’s patoot about my opinion of them… unless they ask for it. They’re usually offended at my opinion anyway, even if they’ve asked for it. It is what it is until it isn't.

What do you picture when you think about thalassophobia?

Sharks.

Have you known that mean people are cowards?

Not necessarily “cowards” per se, but they are mean because they have issues they refuse to own. They may feel that other people are smarter, better looking, more privileged, and so on. What they can’t grasp is that it takes all of us to make a world. The “rocket scientist” may not be able to fix the furnace, and Miss America may not be shit for a mother. Each to their abilities, and each deserves respect for what they bring to the table.

“People try to say suicide is the most cowardly act a man could ever commit. I don't think that's true at all. What's cowardly is treating a man so badly that he wants to commit suicide.”

-- Tommy Tran

Do you agree with the statement, "Don't just try to win, try to excel in something. You'll automatically win."?

Yes, but "winning" really isn’t everything. You’ll never be seen as "perfect" because perfect is an illusion. What you can strive for, however, is excellence. Winning is simply testing your excellence against others who strive for the same. The fact that they might be more excellent than you are does not detract from the fact that you are, also, very excellent. What it implies is that, to be constantly at the top of your field, you have to continually strive for it.

So, if you strive for excellence you will probably be more excellent than someone else in the same field that isn’t trying. It simply stands to reason.

I made a friend online. We live in different states. What should I do?

How about a phone call? 

How do you reflect yourself wherein you are in the situation of deontological and teleological views?

Let’s take a look at the definitions:

Teleological ethics is a theory of morality that derives duty or moral obligation from what is good or desirable as an end to be achieved. The means justify the end.

Deontological ethics is a theory that the basic standards for an action being morally right are independent of the good or evil generated. The end justifies the means.

The end objective, for me, rarely justifies the means if the means are more immoral than the objective. It is why we have laws of armed conflict.  Why wipe out a village of innocent people in order to capture an enemy site?  Find another means. 

I am finding metacognition so interesting. I am astounded to find out the various ways in which people think. What way do you think?

It depends. Sexually, I’m pretty shallow. Philosophically, I tread toward the deeper end of the pool. It’s just the way I think.

What sums up your life philosophy?

“Strive to be truly happy always and in all things!”

“Focus on making yourself better, not on thinking that you are better.”

-- Bohdi Sanders

Do you need to check one another?

For what? Fleas? STDs? IEDs? The “creeping crud”? This needs a bit of context.

Can someone work with me to define my personal values and how to plan and live my life according to them?

20 Common Values [and Why People Can't Agree On More]

Despite our differences, do we all agree on a common set of personal values? You'd think so, but only if we all understand the word 'values' in the same way.

https://www.nirandfar.com/common-values/

Try this out. There are many sites, like the one above, that discuss this, at length, online. Defining your personal code of morally ethical values is much easier than standing by them. However, your ability to stand by the values you hold dear will define who you are to those who take the time to know you.

Why am I totally unmotivated?

You aren’t “totally” unmotivated. You were motivated enough to ask this question.

When is it a waste of time to care about people's judgment?

When they have more issues than you do. If they feel the need to judge, they probably do. I really don’t pay much attention to those who would judge me, as I really don’t expect anyone to give a rat’s ass what I say about them. Everyone has an opinion and, unless asked, feel free to keep your piehole shut. If you ask for an opinion, accept what you get, since you asked for it.

One of the good things about this site is that people ask for your opinion. Sometimes, however, they try to bait you so they can be offended by your answer, which they really don’t want to hear. Better to just ignore the offended.

Stay tuned… 

Do you think you have a choice when it comes to narcissists?

A little context here. A choice of what? Slapping them, ignoring them, hugging them, screwing with their minds, befriending them, helping them, what? I only ask because you always have a choice, do or do not. Is this what you mean?

“The main condition for the achievement of love is the overcoming of one's narcissism. The narcissistic orientation is one in which one experiences as real only that which exists within oneself, while the phenomena in the outside world have no reality in themselves, but are experienced only from the viewpoint of their being useful or dangerous to one. The opposite pole to narcissism is objectivity; it is the faculty to see other people and things as they are, objectively, and to be able to separate this objective picture from a picture which is formed by one's desires and fears.”

-- Erich Fromm

How do you truly feel happy for others when you're feeling miserable?

I feel miserable so seldomly, but, when I do, I try to separate my “misery” from their happiness. I am truly happy that they aren’t where I am, and where I am is usually due to a choice or decision I made. Their happiness is the way I find the motivation to correct my mistake.

What does 'all fart and no shit' mean?

All talk and no substance, or all talk and no action.

Should one prefer wisdom over professionalism?

Wisdom doesn’t always come to the professional, just as a wise person doesn’t necessarily have a profession. Having said this, wisdom probably won’t feed a family, unless it’s donated. I’d prefer to have both, so I have folding money to buy food while also spouting reams of “bathroom quasi-wisdom of the semi-ancient piehole philosopher.” 

If you experience a business failure, would you give up?

Only if you’re a quitter. You critique why you failed, learn the lesson, and try again. You keep doing this until something takes.

What is a time you made a tough ethical decision?

When I made the decision to divorce my wife, she had proved my loyalty and love for her, which drove my 25-year fight to save a doomed marriage, to be a mistake. Who knew? Turns out, everyone knew but me.

“The terrible error in the course of human civilization is undoubtedly the defective judgment that allowed religious authorities to usurp the foundation of societal morality, in which all collective ethics of humankind must take a cause. This appalling blunder is comparable only to assigning the leper exclusive franchise to run beauty clinics in the society; this can only lead to cycles upon cycles of common infection syndrome.”

-- Adebowale Babatunde Ojowuro

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com