The Short & Long Answers Continue

 

"Get your apparel together, good strings to your beards,

new ribbons to your pumps; meet presently at the palace;

every man look o'er his part; for the short and the long is,

our play is preferred."

-- William Shakespeare

The short:

Why does he blame me for everything that goes wrong or is not done correctly?

He has an inability to accept responsibility, or you really can’t do anything right.

What’s been the hardest part of accepting your spouse for who they are?

Divorcing her, when I accepted her for who she was.

What am I doing that is so wrong?

Need to put this question in a bit more context than zero.

Is it possible to find a soulmate here?

Where?

Why am I so damn clingy after sex with my husband?

Maybe he is that good? 

Why do you marry a man when you want a gentleman?

Inability to choose wisely.

Do girls get turned on sitting on boys’ laps?

No, but when they get up the boys may stay seated a bit longer.

Would you let your man have sex with you while you're laying down?

So, people usually have sex standing up?

Do you have the same desires as others?

Oh, my God, I hope not. The world would be a seriously twisted place.

Why does my boyfriend call me a slut in front of his colleagues and friends?

He has no respect for you, so he treats you as such. 

What do you benefit from marrying a sex addict?

If you enjoy being used, everything.

What does it mean when she says “you're like a brother to me”?

You’re not getting to second base.

What do I do if I have feelings for my best friend’s boyfriend and he has feelings for both me and her?

If sharing isn’t your thing, let it go.

What does it mean to judge others?

To make an assumption or ruling of who or what they are.

Should you cheat on a cheater before you leave?

Two wrongs don’t make it right. 

What's your take on this statement: "If God punishes me, I will abandon him. I believe in God only so long as he is useful to me."?

When you buy into bullshit, you are left to your own devices.

People can live without sex. Why do some consider it a physical need?

They choose not to live without it. “Need” is a great excuse.

Could God stop himself from being all-loving?

You really don’t know much about “omnipotent” power, do you?

What are elegant terms to address your older significant other?

“Mistress” comes to mind.

How has someone turned the unwanted attention onto you?

I wouldn’t accept it if they had. 

Who’s back do you have always?

Family.

Does love let you down? AGREE or DISAGREE and why?

Agree, but only once, and I got a divorce.

Who would you rather fight, a short or tall person?

Well, I do like to make “short” work of any fight, so…

Why should you not rely on others?

There is always the chance they will let you down. 

"If you're tired of unreliable people, stop relying on them"

-- Unknown

...and the long:

Why don't people accept someone who cross-dresses?

If an old guy cross-dresses and still looks like the same old guy in drag, it might seem self-explanatory.

Could a lion be made to be as timid as a mouse & a mouse be made as brave as a lion?

Yes. Bullies can see the error of their ways and actually become human. Those who are bullied, can stand up for themselves and end up protecting others being bullied. I know this, as I was bullied when I was young, stood up for myself, and others, and saw how the “bullies” changed when I went to a class reunion. Anything can happen. 

How do I discover my talents and skills?

Live life. You’ll have to try doing all that you love or think you’ll love doing. I found my talents in writing, woodworking, and art by trying all of them.

Why is there never a perfect marriage even if someone is married to their soulmate or a person perfect for them?

Nothing is “perfect” by definition. It can be as "excellent" as we can make it, but there are always issues. Not everyone agrees on everything and, even though one side may give in, they will always know they gave in. But, this is expected, even in an excellent marriage, because marriage is all about the ability of a relationship to give and take. 

Are women born to satisfy men?

Depends on who wears the pants. Some women think men are born to satisfy them, and there are some men willing to try.

“Don't go into the business of pleasing people. You can't please everybody. Simply do your best at what you do”

-- Bangambiki Habyarimana

Has anyone from your past ever sought you out to say thank you?

Years ago, I was assigned a troop that was that close to being transferred out of Intelligence due to personal hygiene issues. I was his last chance. I sat him down and did what none of the other supervisors bothered to do - I told him like it was. He straightened out.

I retired from the military and, years later, I received a call from him, thanking me for saving his career. He had just made Tech Sergeant and was now a supervisor, himself, and had always tried to be the supervisor I had been to him. I was very happy to hear from him. When we take the time to do the right thing, sometimes it really does pay dividends down the line for everyone.

Is it masculine for a woman to say "I like you" first to a man?

Not as far as the men I know are concerned. It cuts right past the chase and into the subject at hand.

All relationships or friendships are breathtaking in the beginning then start worsening over time because of boredom. How do I maintain the state of enthusiasm of the beginning forever?

Don’t we wish we could do this? Unfortunately, change is the only true constant in the universe. Things change, and there is little to do about it but change with them. Some things you can mitigate, others you have no control over, but everything, sooner or later, changes.

How do you mitigate the change and maintain the “state of enthusiasm of the beginning”? Make solid relationships and friendships based on love, trust, honesty, acceptance, understanding, loyalty, and the like. It is a lot to pay attention to, which is why we get bored, and things feel like they start worsening over time.

The most we can do is be the best we can be. Pay attention to those things you can affect, and not so much those things over which you have little or no control. But, whatever happens, never stop loving and understanding. These are a good foundation.

Is it selfish if a couple decides to have pets instead of children?

Nope. My son and his wife made this choice and ended the family line. My dad wasn’t happy about it, but it is a choice they made, and I respect it. I figure it was my bad for not having more than one male child and padding our bet.

Why is practically everything so complicated? Are all things in life really actually this complicated?

I’ve always been of the mind that we make things more complicated than they have to be. Life is about making good choices and decisions, and life becomes complicated when you don’t. The more poor choices and decisions, the more complicated life becomes.

We have a bad habit of blaming others for the consequences of what we choose or decide to do. We like to forget who is really at fault. Others can cause misery in our life, but it is our choice to wallow in it. If we choose this path, the one who caused our misery keeps us there until we change our life. They continue to win until we choose to change the outcome. It can take a lot of work to bring life back into balance, but it is a choice we have to make in order to uncomplicate our life.

"Life is really simple, but we insist on making it complicated."

-- Confucius

What does “We are rational and the universe is irrational” mean?

Basically, it means whoever said this, and I’m sure the person thinks they are very intelligent, has no real knowledge of people, or the cosmology of the universe of which, by the way, we “rational” beings are an insignificantly tiny part.

Why would a girl ask if I’m shy around her?

She obviously feels, for whatever reason, you are shy around her. You can figure she wouldn’t ask unless she felt you were, and maybe asking her why she thinks you are would give you a more valid answer.

Why do you respect a person when he is not around?

Shame on those who do this. If you truly respect someone, you don’t deny the respect simply because they are absent. To do so would show a lack of character by denying respect they would have felt in the person’s presence.

What's your dignity worth?

I am a humble person, so the value of dignity would be situational. If I give up my dignity, it would be my choice, and my choice alone, to do so. If some perpetrator of evil were to put me in a position where I had to choose to give up my dignity for someone else, I would probably do it, but the value, ultimately, to the perpetrator, would not be worth my forced choice.

We all make bad choices in life, but why, when someone gets caught doing something wrong, do we tend to judge them instead of analyzing why they did what they did?

I’m always hesitant to quote scripture, knowing the League of the Perpetually Offended (LPO) will usually jump all over me, but this seems to ring true for most people who dare to judge, including most of those members of the LPO. We shouldn’t judge anyone, like I shouldn't be judging the LPO, and this Bible passage gives us reason why:

“You shall not judge, lest you be judged. For with the judgment that you judge, you will be judged, and with the measure that you measure, it will be measured to you. Why do you notice a chip that is in your brother's eye, and you do not observe the plank that is in your own eye? Or how do you say to your brother, 'Let me cast out the chip from your eye', and behold, a plank is in your eye? Hypocrite! First cast out the plank from your eye, and then you will see to cast out the chip from your brother's eye.”

-- Matthew 7:1–5

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com