Long and Short Legs of Answers

“Truth has legs that are longer than any of our lies. In time, it will catch up to us, not because the truth has longer legs but because lies have no legs.”

-- Craig D. Lounsbrough

The longs:

Am I selfish if I choose money over friends?

No, you’re selfish if you don’t do good with your wealth. It isn’t how wealthy you are, it is what you do with it. But, if you’re already considering money over friendship, the U.S.S. Selfless must have already sailed.

Why should I make children if being single makes you happier?

You shouldn’t. That would amount to a crime against the children. If you truly don’t want to be a parent, please don’t.  

Do you feel that you wasted your 20's and 30's?

I was in military Intelligence and can say with certainty, I did not waste my 20′s, my 30′s, or my 40’s when I retired from the military and helped to build, over the next 17 years, an Independent Review Board from a 30 person company to a 300 person corporation. Nope, not wasted at all.

Is having a girlfriend unnecessary?

The necessity of having a girlfriend or a boyfriend is entirely up to the individual. What will make you happy? The one thing no one should be able to “mandate” is your happiness. 

Is it frustrating to you when the question you want to ask has already been asked on [this site]?

I’ve never felt the need to ask a question, but, with almost 624,000 views of my answers, I can tell you I have repeated my answers so many times I can put many of them in a file and just “cut and paste” to save wear and tear on my digits.

I can see where this might seem frustrating, but, where asking the question again might seem frustrating to you, I find my first blush at answering might become more specific or meaningful as I rethink the previous answer. So, for me, I have worked through the frustration of answering more than once by embellishing my answer with more information. 

"If love is the answer, could you please repeat the question?"

-- Unknown

What is the most emotionally healthy decision you have ever made?

Divorce. I was stressing myself toward a heart attack if I’d continued on with a failed marriage of 25 years. She was, for all intents and purposes, killing me. Now, she is “killing” someone else, and I have been happier than I’ve ever been for the past 21 years. I strive for happiness always and in all things, because I’ve lived the alternative and it simply sucks. 

Does the rest of your family love sex like you do?

I sincerely doubt it. It is not a subject one brings up in “polite” company.  Your knowledge of what I like is concerning. 

What does it mean to sacrifice for others?

It means to give of oneself selflessly. To give of your time, your money, or your property, with no expectation of compensation.

My dad used to give to charities and write the donations off on taxes. Selfless? Well, he was simply doing what is allowed by tax law, but he was getting something in return for his donation. His heart was in the right place, but, to me, it was not technically selfless.

The most amazing female has been talking to me on here. I didn't expect it or anything, and the conversations are better than sex. Does anyone know how thankful I am?

Sometimes true happiness blindsides us by coming out of nowhere. I’ve had this happen several times, and sex is the last thing you think of. Enjoy the moment and hope it lasts.

I’ll be 32 in May 2022. I still don’t what to do with life. What should I do?

Party, like it’s 2018. Worry about what to do with your life after the hangover. If you don’t know what to do by now, a few more months won’t matter. I recommend getting a job you enjoy doing and removing any drama from your life. If you really want to do something with your life, strive to be happy always and in all things. Not many people can truly claim this.

“Your purpose in life is to find your purpose and give your whole heart and soul to it”

-- Buddha

How do you feel about the way you look?

I’m almost 70, and people don’t believe it. Makes me feel pretty good, and then I wonder when age will catch up with me.

Why does your cat love to lie on top of you?

I don’t know. He probably likes to feel the heartbeat. He’s about 20 pounds of muscle, though, has a substantial BTU rating, and likes to put his cold nose in my ear while he purrs. I have to slough him off after a bit. He usually does this in the morning in order to get me up so I can feed him. 

Here is a moral dilemma. You, a vegetarian, must choose between raping someone or killing a chicken. Which option is best?

If you have a set of ethical morals, this is not a moral dilemma. If you have no morals, now you have a choice to make. 

Why is it always hard to find beauty in nature?

You’re looking in the wrong places, or you need to understand beauty. But, since beauty is in the eye of the beholder, perhaps a better understanding of it might help. I see beauty in nature everywhere I look. Nature makes it hard not to see. If you know what to look for, it slaps you in the face. If you find it hard to find the beauty, I’d be asking myself why I find it hard to see what’s right in front of my eyes.

My boyfriend of 8 years recently stopped caring if he pleases me during sex. Why? Has he lost interest? Does he not love me anymore?

I’d let him know of your concern, that you’re not being pleased, and you’re not feeling the love. He has some explaining to do, or you might have to start looking around for greener pastures. Not that he has been, but this is why he needs to do some explaining.

“Sex without love is as hollow and ridiculous as love without sex.”

-- Hunter S. Thompson

How can some people move on so quickly after every breakup?

They weren’t really in love, at least not anymore. Some people can turn their emotions off like a switch, and others find that a ridiculous notion. True love is something you can’t just switch off, and when you lose it, it actually hurts for a significant time. Anyone who has experienced true love can understand this.

Why does my boyfriend always say "go take care of yourself first and tell me if you're alright okay" every time we have an argument?

It’s your problem, not his? You’re asking the question. I’d be asking myself why I’m asking the question.

Do you care about other people's suffering after seeing how many people don't care about your suffering?

That would be selfish of me. My concern isn’t based on another’s person’s concern for me. Their attitude about my concern, however, might have bearing on my continued effort to assist them, but it won’t diminish my concern. People have to want the concern for it to be of any help.

How can I tell if he’s interested in me without ruining our friendship?

Ask him. If the friendship is strong it won’t phase it. But, he is going to ask why you asked, and if you’re not interested in him romantically, you’re going to have to tell him. That honesty might affect the friendship if he’s in it for the prize. 

What are the alternatives for the failed traditional marriage paradigm? The divorce rate for 1st marriage is around 50%, 2nd 67%, and 3rd 73%?

My first marriage was 25 years of hell. The divorce rate for the non-reality of a 2nd and 3rd, therefore, has no bearing on me. You only have to burn me once.  The alternative?  Become smarter.

"Most of these alternative arrangements, so-called, arise out of the ruins of marriages, not as an improvement of old-fashioned marriage."

-- Christopher Lasch

What is the bridge between arrogance and ignorance?

I’m not sure what you mean by a bridge. You can be one or the other, or both. I suppose the bridge would be when you’re arrogant and acting like a pig looking at a wristwatch. The bridge, here, is being overly proud of your obvious stupidity? I am probably too humble to answer this correctly.

Why should you be responsible if you choose to have a sexual relationship?

Personally, I wouldn’t want to have children with a woman I’m not going to marry. I wouldn’t want to contract an STD. I don’t want a shotgun barrel worked up my butt by an irate husband, threatening me with death if I don’t get off. And, that wasn’t meant as a pun. Responsibility goes with the territory, or you might as well die. 

Have you used someone? Why and how?

Yep. After my divorce, I used several someones. Why? Probably to take out my frustration. How? Use your imagination.  I wasn't proud of it.

Who’s lied about you?

My ex-wife, when she had me arrested. She was advised to tell the sheriff I threatened to kill her, which was bullshit. But, in a domestic dispute, someone has to go to jail. That was the last straw for 25 years of trying to keep it together. I filed for a divorce.

Is it possible to be at any one time free of sin?

When you were born. After that, sin was up to you. Once you’ve sinned, you own it. You can atone for it, but you still did the deed. If you really desire to be free of sin, don’t do the deed. The most we can do is to apologize, atone for what we did, and strive to not sin again. We should all be striving to be the best people we can be. Not an easy task, and much harder for many.

“There is no sinner like a young saint.”

-- Aphra Behn

 And... the shorts:

Is it rude to call someone “Miss”?

Come to Mississippi! If it’s rude, we’re all guilty of it.

How do the following influence your personal lifestyle in religion?

The following what?

I always get checked for STDs, but my cheating boyfriend refuses. What should I do?

Find a new "boyfriend" because he isn't!  And, wise up.

What do I do that makes you cringe?

Repeat that question four more times, and you might.

How do you respect same-sex marriage?

It isn’t going away, so try taking a higher road. 

What are fun things to do when you can't leave the house?

I’m doing it, right now, and I’ve been doing it since 2019.

How do you know if a married woman wants to sleep with you?

It’s been my experience that she’ll ask.

How do you know you have a working wife?

Uh… because she’s working?

How do you attract a woman to date you in a public environment?

Try asking her. It always worked for me.

My ex-wife and I signed a mutually agreed divorce and is currently been processed. Can she go back and change it?

Yes, but you have to sign off on it or the decree is not valid. 

What is the age of consent for a dog?

Really?

What is the best non-sexual pleasure?

Ice cream.

Are love and dedication mutually related?

True love requires dedication or it really isn’t true love.

Did anyone in the Bible have a Bible or religious book to follow?

Judaism had its holy scripture, prior to the Christian holy scripture.

What do people think about the existence of God?

There’s no proof either way. It is a matter of faith.

Can a pastor lie about his past?

Seems like more times than not.

If a person uses [this site] for just answering, does that mean he has no questions to ask?

That would be my reason

Would you say that we were born into hate or raised into hate?

I wasn’t born or raised into hate. But, you can be. 

Did you miss your chance for the love of your life?

Thrice! Twice I was too late. Once I was an idiot.

Do people hurt you?

They try, but, after the divorce, I learned how to ignore them.

“If you spend your time hoping someone will suffer the consequences for what they did to your heart, then you're allowing them to hurt you a second time in your mind.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com