Questioning Why, What, When, Where, and How

 

“No one made sense of the love they shared. They didn't get the hang of it either. But together, the clocks of winter stopped... And autumn's fallen leaves turned, swiftly, scarlet.”

-- Malak El Halabi

Why is it that people don't want to support you?

They know I will never ask them to. It isn’t who I am.

When is the right time to ask “what are we?” to men?

As a man approaching 70, I can tell you it’s the only question they probably know the answer to. If you really want to bend their brains, ask them “Why are we?” Hell, they don’t even know why they are. If you’re looking for the right time, it is now. If not now, then when?

What is the difference between eternal happiness and temporal happiness?

Happiness that lasts for infinity, true happiness, and happiness that lasts for a period of time.

Under what circumstances should you not be generous?

Be generous always. It confuses, it confounds, and, if need be, it pisses people off. But, most importantly, if done properly and for the right reasons, it helps, enormously, those who really need it. Be generous always, and do it selflessly.

It is better to know the rules before breaking them. True/False? Do you hold a different opinion on this?

True. Rules are meant to be broken, but ignorance is no excuse.

“Know the rules well, so you can break them effectively.”

-- Dalai Lama XIV

Is it enough just to work hard to reach my goal?

If your goal only requires hard work, yes.

Is there a fine line between being selfish in bed and enjoying it?

You can’t be kind of selfish. You either are or you aren’t. If you are, you might as well enjoy it, karma will get you whether you enjoy it or not. Why? Because you were selfish! 

Who’s at fault for having sex when one is younger than the other?

If both are at age of consent, who instigated it?

Is it possible to continue in a marriage without love, trust, care, sex, and communication?

Yes, but why? You’ll be in a barren wasteland, and for what? Take this from someone who’s been there.

Should you cheat if you're not happy in your relationship?

No, you should be honest and end the relationship.

“Cheating and lying aren't struggles, they're reasons to break up.”

-- Patti Callahan Henry

How do you cope with being wrong after ditching perfectionism?

There’s no such thing as perfectionism because nothing is perfect. The best any of us can hope for is excellence. So, why do you need to cope if you weren’t wrong?

Why do the people you love so much end up hurting you the most?

Poor choices.

Whenever I try to explain something (which I suck at) at times people misunderstand, then I feel bad after because it feels like I’m making them look bad. Why?

I think you explained it very well. My advice would be to learn not to suck at it, or leave the explaining to others who are more capable.

How does a hero look at the act of being a hero?

He’s usually too happy to be alive to care, but most real heroes deny the honor. They like to make it about the team, or they’ll just say it was nothing, anyone would’ve done the same. Real heroes tend to be humble.

Is overcoming your downtime what gives you so much happiness?

Waking up each morning is what gives me so much happiness. Any day on this side of the dirt is a good day.

“The most important reason for your “no” is that you need your downtime so you won’t behave like a jerk because you’re depleted. ”

-- Holly Mosier

What is it that makes a person truly happy in this life?

Waking up to the gift of another glorious day in paradise and another chance to excel in life.

What makes you so important?

Nothing at all. No, wait. The League of the Perpetually Offended must feel that I’m so important because they can’t stop ripping at my opinions, I feel truly humbled that they choose to waste so much precious time on little ol’ me.

What would your personal life look like without ethics?

A disaster area even criminals shy away from.

My girlfriend of three months refuses to have sex with me. She claims she’s not ready. Would I be wrong if I dumped her?

The fact that you’re considering dumping her shows a lack of you in the relationship, so you should probably go to the shallow end of the pool and look for sex there. When you’re mature enough to commit to a partner for a relationship, come on back over to the deep end. 

When can you say a person has high moral values?

When they demonstrate it.

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

-- Mark Twain

Why do people lie to those whom they claim to love?

Lack of respect for those they claim to love, but really don’t.

How do you deal with low self-esteem? What helps to feel more confident and like your looks more?

I approach this knowing I’m so not the Adonis on the beach. But, I have also never had a problem with my self-esteem. I’m thinning on top, near-sighted, have some extra pounds, and I’m an average-looking guy. I’m a perfect candidate for low self-esteem, but I refuse to embrace it.

Hey, it is what it is. I can’t help it, so I get over it. What I lack in looks I make up for in personality. I’ll never be with the “prom queen” because I wade at the deeper end, where the real people hang out. If she comes here, maybe we can date… maybe.

I am what I am, and I make the most of what I have. Doing this, and not buying into low self-esteem, has served me well for the past 55 years, and it will serve me into the future, as well. 

Practice makes perfect. No one is perfect. Then why is there practice?

Practice is the foundation for excellence, not perfection.

Should I continue talking to a friend that doesn’t talk to me until I talk to her? She says she’s “too shy”, but talks to other people fine.

She might be shy only around those people she really likes. Don’t be too fast to judge. Talk through her shyness until you reveal the gold underneath. She might be worth the effort. 

What kind of text message will I send to my boyfriend who doesn't trust me?

An "evasive" text message. Hell, he already doesn’t trust you, so you might as well have some fun with it.

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.”

-- Ernest Hemingway

Is it true that money doesn't change you, it reveals who you are when you no longer have to be nice?

You don’t need money to treat people badly. And, it isn’t money that makes you wealthy, It’s what you selflessly do with your money that will ultimately make you wealthy. 

On a scale of 1 to 10, how hopeful are you? Why?

Because I have faith, I have hope. I rank my hope as a 9, only because my family has lived long but not died peacefully. Alzheimer’s and strokes have marred any thought of a peaceful passing into the next life.

Is it possible to always have things figured out?

No. You always have to leave room for the possibility of chaos. 

Why do some people who are promoted to manager, want to go back to the position they had before being promoted?

Additional responsibility. There is a comfort level in doing what you’ve always done. The higher you climb, the more responsibility, the worse the penalties for screwing up. You’re not getting paid more for no reason.

What do you know to pass judgment on people's behaviors?

Psychology or psychiatry to explain the behavior. A judge is needed to rule on the validity of it in law. The typical person on the street shouldn’t be judging anyone, lest they be judged. Psychology was useful in the Intelligence field but, then, we weren’t judging anyone, just validating their reports.

“Never judge someone's character based on the words of another. Instead, study the motives behind the words of the person casting the bad judgment. An honest woman can sell tangerines all day and remain a good person until she dies, but there will always be naysayers who will try to convince you otherwise. Perhaps this woman did not give them something for free, or at a discount. Perhaps too, that she refused to stand with them when they were wrong — or just stood up for something she felt was right. And also, it could be that some bitter women are envious of her, or that she rejected the advances of some very proud men. Always trust your heart.”

-- Suzy Kassem

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com