Questions of Joy, Love, Awarenesss, and Happiness

 

“There are three possible parts to a date, of which at least two must be offered: entertainment, food, and affection. It is customary to begin a series of dates with a great deal of entertainment, a moderate amount of food, and the merest suggestion of affection. As the amount of affection increases, the entertainment can be reduced proportionately. When the affection IS the entertainment, we no longer call it dating. Under no circumstances can the food be omitted.”

-- Judith Martin

Why can’t I find joy with what I thought was what I wanted to make for a living?

You thought wrong. Sometimes what we think we want to do doesn’t really make us happy, or doesn’t pay us a sustainable wage. Might be better to look for something else that makes you happy for a job.

Is the truth like a stationary rock or like goal posts that keep moving?

If it keeps on moving it really isn’t the truth. It may be the truth as you know it at a particular moment. But these need exactly that caveat - “The truth, as we know it at this moment, is…”

Why won’t my boyfriend tell the girl that likes him that he's dating me?

That’s a great question you should be asking him, while you’re looking for an ethical boyfriend.

What are some rules of etiquette that you wish more people followed?

There are so many rules of etiquette that should be followed, it would take a page to discuss them all. I boil them down to RESPECT. I sit on the porch of the local cigar bar, here, and am appalled by the lack of basic respect men show to women, and this is the deep South. The only excuse I can offer is the influx of Northerners into the community. No offense.

Case in point: A car parked across the street from the restaurant. It was raining. A man got out and ran across the street to the covered porch, turned, and looked back toward the car. I thought to myself, “Oh, hell no. Certainly, he didn’t leave his wife to fend for herself?” Oh, yes he did, but at least she had the umbrella.

She joined him under the covered porch, turned, and look back toward the car… again. “What the…?” Elderly mom was next to leave the car. She couldn’t run, she had no umbrella, and the other two were telling her to hurry. I got up, but it was too late to assist her. I was pissed. Was this evidence of the “New South” being played out before me? I have noted this same lack of basic courtesy again and again.

Where do I find the way to a peaceful mind?

Alan Watts has written several books on Zen Buddhism. Taoist philosophy and Zen meditation is the way I calmed my “high active” personality.

“The punishment of every disordered mind is its own disorder.”

-- St. Augustine of Hippo

No matter how much you do for a person, why are they never satisfied?

Greed. Give them an inch and they’ll want a mile. If you run into these folks, give them enough rope.

What are the main elements of etiquette?

I’ve always gone with these:

• Morality. Do the right thing.
• Respect. Treat others as you would want to be treated.
• Understanding. Listen to others.
• Communication. Control your voice, control the conversation.
• Manners. Be aware of the rules of conduct.

Does God speak to us through repetition?

Why would “God” have to repeat?

You give up. What do you do with your time now?

Nothing. You’ve given up. Doing something with your time makes one think you have a goal in mind. That isn’t giving up as much as it is working toward a goal.

Do parents ever think to say I can’t give you an honest answer without leaving out any details when their child asks how babies are made?

Parents think to say all kinds of things, but saying they can’t give an honest answer leaves the kid wondering how they ever came into being with simpletons for parents. It must have been a real crapshoot.

“Most kids would not respect their parents as much as they do, or even at all if they knew how intellectually undemanding is the role they played in their creation.”

-- Mokokoma Mokhonoana

Who gave Trump all that money?

Real estate.

When is the last time you gave someone your full attention? What did you learn?

Many years ago. I was riveted by Leo Buscaglia. I just couldn’t stop listening to him. He was passionate about his topic, and I love that in a speaker. I learned more about love and friendship than I really needed to, and he opened my eyes to true happiness. 

What is the question I have not yet asked myself and could transform me?

Why am I?

Should I lie and say my teacher grabbed my ass to get him fired?

The karma for that kind of terrible idea will be unimaginable. Think about how you’ll feel when karma brings it full circle and you get fired for something you didn’t do. What if karma thinks you need to get fired twice, just to make sure the message is received?

What's the definition of ignorance?

Lack of knowledge.

“Nothing in the world is more dangerous than sincere ignorance and conscientious stupidity.”

-- Martin Luther King Jr.

What should I do if my girlfriend never prioritizes me when she makes any plan? It's like she'll make plans with her friends but if they are busy or they don't want to do that only then she'll turn up to me.

Tell her. If you don’t like her reaction, find a new girlfriend.

Technically, aren't we 9 months older than we say we are?

Indeed! But don’t try to convince “pro-choice” folks of that.  Murder of the innocent is what they do.  Anything else is just silly.

Does your self-awareness know how good-looking you are?

It tells me to ignore the mirror and go with public opinion. I’m a stud muffin, and very humble.

So I went to a social activity last night. I look pretty and dress cool, why do people in my group don’t sound interested in talking to me? I felt upset about it. I am a really energetic person, friends usually like me and I have many guys friends?

Maybe you were so pretty you became untouchable? Women saw you as competition, and men were simply scared shitless. I would have talked to you simply because no one else was, but that’s just me. I like being seen with the prettiest in the room. Totally selfish.

Do you just know from your self-awareness?

No. I read a lot and love living life. Life teaches you great lessons.

“What does reason know? Reason only knows what it has succeeded in learning...”

-- Fyodor Dostoevsky

Should you confirm if your date is going ahead the night before or the day of?

If my date says she’s going, and she ever wants another date with me, she better be ready when I come to pick her up. If she has an issue, she can tell me to check back with her, otherwise, I’ll be there. The phone works both ways.

When did you decide to throttle back from work?

When, at 60, I retired to Manzanillo, Mexico for two years.

I deleted my boyfriend’s friends (male) from my social media because I don’t feel comfortable about them seeing the stuff I post. Am I wrong?

You aren’t wrong, but why are you posting stuff only certain people can see on “social” media? This always is a surprise to me. The better thing to do is keep your posts generic unless you want to share with someone specifically, then message them only.

Author's comment:  I don’t post stuff that only certain people can see. It’s hard to explain but I like to post funny stuff especially about my life (on the comedian side). The fact is that my boyfriend sees it and finds it funny but then my post ends up on a group chat of his friends where they make me look stupid and then he starts seeing it in another way. I don’t know why his friends worry so much about my life.

My reply:  People can be inconsiderate, or cruel, usually without thinking. I wasn’t trying to pry. 

Who around you makes you happy the most?

Shadow, my 20-pound cat, unless he gets on my chest. He’s like an anvil. Pretty soon I have to make him move so I can breathe.

How do I believe prayer changes things?

Why don’t you tell us?

“You pray in your distress and in your need; would that you might pray also in the fullness of your joy and in your days of abundance.”

-- Kahill Gibran

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com