Questions of Faith, Marriage, Sex, and Loss

 

“In the dead of a long, black night it is hard to imagine a sunrise on the horizon extending its vibrant and warming rays, but that is how you hold out hope. Have faith that the morning you dream of will eventually come.”

-- Richelle E. Goodrich

What are the 5 signs of overthinking?

There are only five? I must be overthinking this.

Have mean people ever been afraid of you?

I haven’t had the chance to discuss interrogation techniques with them, but I think the thought of peeling off a face using a plastic picnic butter knife might put the fear of God in them.

Do you regret most what you have done or what you haven't done?

It’s the people I haven’t done that are most concerning to me.

Is there anything wrong with saying “infinity +infinity+ infinity = infinity”?

Other than being redundant, no. Infinity x infinity x infinity = infinity, also, there’s just no need to state the obvious. Infinity is what it is.

Have you ever run into an ex and wondered how you were ever attracted to them?

Yep.

“Going back to your ex is like taking back your spit from the ground.”

-- M.F. Moonzajer

Should I gather enough money before getting married?

Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Both of you should. Pledge yourselves to each other and then work toward a financial goal that will set you up for financial security. I am so disappointed when young people get married and immediately go into debt. You should be working to stay out of debt.

Who wins in a fight, the strong or the weak?

Mentally or physically? I ask because, in a fight, physical strength can bow to tactical ability. It is situational.

Why is it that when you give a man everything he wanted, at that moment everything will not be everything again?

It is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is again.

How do you discover your true self knowing that God is within you?

Faith is belief, and your belief is part of who you really are. If “God is within you” it is because you have made the conscious choice to recognize God. Regardless of what you believe, what you put your faith in, it will define who you truly are, to yourself and to those around you.

Can someone find a man who is willing to have sex every day?

I’m approaching 70, and I still want to have sex every day, kinky, exotic, sex. Can someone find a man who doesn’t want to have sex every day? I thought this was the whole reason for Viagra and testosterone supplements. Just saying.

"For men, sex may even affect your mortality. One study that had a 10-year follow-up reported that men who had frequent orgasms (defined as two or more a week) had a 50 percent lower mortality risk than those who had sex less often."

-- Healthline

Does it necessarily matter so much what "is" as opposed to how we feel about what "is"?

“It is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is, again.”

It really doesn’t matter how you feel about what is, because it will continue to be until it is changed, and then it will be what is, again. How you feel about it is just your personal feeling. It changes nothing. It is what it is.

Do girls think better than guys?

I certainly hope so. I drowning, here.

What is gemstone good for?

If it’s your “precious” it doesn’t have to be good for anything. I have several that I take out, especially Tanzanite, and just look at them for their sparkle and beauty before putting them back in the safe-deposit box. But, gemstones are said to have different healing properties.

Are ladies fascinated by a guy’s erection?

They sure seem to take a lot of joy in getting it there.

How do I make this right? It’s a very strong hold, and me doing it alone is not working. I admit I am wrong.

Sometimes, all you can do is admit you are wrong. Then, it is up to others to find high ground and accept the fact that you have been honest and ethical. The best thing you can do, now, is move on down the road and not dwell on it. You know what you did, why you did it, have admitted the error, now the ball is in their court. Get on with your life.

“Analyze and correct your past mistakes before they paralyze your future! An undiscovered error will always crave for repetition. Kick out errors; enjoy a bright future!‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬”

-- Israelmore Ayivor

What is the moral situation you were in?

That would concern another man’s wife. Not my finest moment, but it was a lot of fun.

Why is your ex-lover still in your memory?

L-O-V-E-R. It depends on how you define the word. Were they just a “sex” partner, or did you actually feel love for them? I wrote this years ago, but it has much meaning for this:

“Some say my love is like chalk,
I can write it on and erase it whenever I choose.
But, they’re wrong.
I use crayons.”

Real love is not an emotion you can flip off, like a switch. You continue to feel love for people long after you split up because you truly loved them. Some people are just better together by being apart.

What do I do when I lose something valuable?

Cry. Not much you can do, after you’ve torn everything apart looking for it, except hope that it turns up.

Reader comment:  For me, the most valuable thing in my life was my Husband. Married for 52 years it was a great loss to me when he died. It’s been two years and I miss him terribly. I cry. I sleep a lot. No motivation. I look forward to joining him wherever he is. He was a good man.

My reply: I am so sorry for your loss. I took this for the other meaning, though your loss is so much more emotional. My mother lost my dad in 2019, after 67 years of marriage. At 88, she is still suffering from everything you mentioned. She says she understands, now, why women seek out new companionship after this kind of loss. At her age, I just roll my eyes and smile.

Would he want you not to live your life to the fullest? We tend to put ourselves into a pit of misery that is understandable but so counterproductive. Our life partners would not want us dying just to be with them. I think they’d want us to continue living for them, because they can’t.

Reader's reply:  I see you are a Chaplain. That explains your kind insightful answer to me, Been There. By the way, what is a Semi-Ancient “pie Hole” Philosopher? I’m a retired RN who worked in hospitals. The last 23 years were in Acute Psych.

Tony, thank you for your very understanding and sensitive reply to me. I totally get your mother. Sixty-plus years of marriage is really something to admire. I think you are right. Our spouses would not want us to live an unhappy life after they are gone. I’ve started seeing a therapist and am on antidepressants though I don’t see much improvement. I know we will all face death and leave those left behind to deal with it but it’s not easy. Your comment has made my day!

My reply:  I forgot to answer your question concerning my title. I am “semi-ancient,” approaching 70 years of life. Whatever issues from my “pie hole” is my philosophy for life. Thus, “Semi-Ancient Pie Hole Philosopher.” The complete title, however, since everything important I learned was from books on the tank of the toilet, is “Bathroom Quasi-Wisdom from the Semi-Ancient Pie Hole Philosopher.” It’s just a mouthful, so I shortened it. And, your kind words have made my day, as well.  Be at peace, doll. 

 

What's the most unexpected thing that happened to you while in the middle of making love? What did you or your partner do/say? How did the love-making turn out finally?

A raunchy fart. I didn’t know what she ate, until later. My bad. I’d made deviled eggs that were too good to stop eating. We had a good laugh over it. I guess it really is funny what comes out during sex.

Why do I always give more than I receive?

Hopefully, because you’re a truly selfless person.

“It's that wonderful old-fashioned idea that others come first and you come second. This was the whole ethic by which I was brought up. Others matter more than you do, so 'don't fuss, dear; get on with it'.”

-- Audrey Hepburn

What is the one thing that has consistently combated anger?

For me, that would be striving to be happy always and in all things. I anger, kick something, hurt my foot, laugh at my stupidity, and go on about my day not worrying about something I have little or no control over. If I have some control, I exercise it and hope for the best. Getting angry is really counterproductive.

What is the difference between joy and happiness to you?

I strive to be truly happy always and in all things. But, I experience “joy” when happiness peaks for whatever reason. I usually experience joy when I see the innocent wonder in a small child’s eyes or watch a woman with great legs showing off how she can actually walk in 4-inch stiletto heels and make it look good. I experience joy at the drop of a hat.

Is it normal to want some attention?

For those who want some attention, yes. Wanting attention all the time, however, is worrisome. I want attention so infrequently due to paying more attention to others. Probably also worrisome, but it is the way I’ve always been since I joined the military in 1972.

My mother says I’m the only person she knows that has always been able to entertain himself, even when others are around. I wasn’t a loner, I just enjoyed doing my own thing. If you felt like joining in, no problem.

What comes to your mind when you hear people arguing about religion?

What are they arguing about? As long as your religion is peaceful, your beliefs are your beliefs. Faith is a funny thing. It is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.

I find it so hilarious when deists and atheists argue like there is some proof out there that will make either one of them right. They both have faith they are right, but neither really has any proof as each of them demands the other shows their cards.

The tragedy is that neither will know until they die. There will either be nothing for both parties, or one of them will experience an afterlife. Faith is a funny thing.

"I’m an atheist, and I hate God."

"You may be angry at God," laughed the old man, "but you’re no atheist."

"Why do you say that?"

"You can’t hate someone who doesn’t exist."

-- Alfred Eaker

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com