Questioning Love, Marriage, Cheating, and Divorce

 

“Men are as faithful as their options.”

-- Chris Rock

 

My dad is going on a business trip for 10 days and my mum is sad. What can I do to help her?

Bring her flowers to perk her up, and then ask her what you can do to help her while dad is gone. Helping her around the house is another way for you to bond, as well.

What do you do when your wife is no longer interested in sex?

Sex in general, or just sex with me? I have experience with both. 

Who should decide what is wrong or right?

It is totally up to you. You are free to do whatever you’d like. Society has set some laws and guidelines which you can choose to follow or ignore. There may be some stiff penalties, however, if you choose to ignore societal laws and guidelines. But, it is your decision. 

As a man who has slept with a lot of women, what are your surprising insights?

It doesn’t matter what they look like. What really matters is how perseverant they are in attaining their goals. Some can be very persistent about getting what they want.

Loved a girl that loved me but she ended up with a guy who manipulated her into marriage to rob her of many things. Eventually, they separated. She didn't want a new relationship right now we should just be friends. What can I do?

If you truly love her, be there for her until she either leaves or grows to understand the love you feel for her. True love has unexplainable patience.

“Maybe that's what it all comes down to. Love, not as a surge of passion, but as a choice to commit to something, someone, no matter what obstacles or temptations stand in the way. And maybe making that choice, again and again, day in and day out, year after year, says more about love than never having a choice to make at all.”

-- Emily Giffin

When did you realize your parents knew everything?

What?

Why is my boyfriend picking up prostitutes and keeping secrets from me?

First of all, he obviously isn’t your “boyfriend” because he has no respect for you. Now, your question is moot because you shouldn’t be with him. He keeps secrets and is trying to infect you with an STD. He’s a real peach.

How do I tell my wife that I can't stand her?

I want a divorce.

Why do you decide not to marry your partner?

I only needed to have a woman strip me of everything once through a divorce. Twice is just being a glutton for punishment.

Is a strong woman considered a bitch?

Only if she bends you over and spanks you. But, I wouldn’t call her that.

“Gentlemen are gentlemen in bed. They make sure you're having a good time."

"I'll make sure you're having a good time, and that you're okay with everything. I just won't be well mannered about it.”

-- Samantha Young

Where can I find some girl to have sex with?

Do you have any money?

What lessons in life would you rather skip over?

Bullies, hatred, lying, infidelity, basically all the negative ones. I’d rather skip over them, but the world demand we learn them because of who we are capable of being. How sad is that? This is why I made the choice to be truly happy always and in all things. Screw evil.

Between respect, honesty, loyalty, trust, and integrity, which attracts you in a person?

Integrity, because it pretty much covers the others.

How can a guy manipulate you, use, and dump you, and then move on to another girl? I swear to God I wish he'd die right now for the pain he has caused me.

Karma in the form of an incurable STD will probably be visited upon him. Just wait.  Everything to it's own moment.

What can I do…my boyfriend wants to have sex with me and he laments me always for not being successful during the process because am still a virgin and It really hurts so much he even wants to break up with me what can I do?

He isn’t worth your effort. Let him go and find someone who respects you.

“Everything in the world is about sex except sex. Sex is about power.”

-- Oscar Wilde

What does a man need to do to satisfy a woman’s sexual needs?

Foremost, I’d have to say, the desire to do so. It isn’t all about him. If he doesn’t have the desire, what are the chances he will actually work toward the goal with his full attention? Second, I think constant communication from the woman about what’s working for her is crucial. Third, the man needs to be enjoying her “fulfillment” as much as she is. She needs to know it’s okay for her to be “herself” when that special moment arrives.

What does it mean if he’s sober and doesn’t want sex?

You’re not deserving of 100% of his effort, attention, and respect?

What is something that no one warned you about in life after a divorce?

Heartache. Putting twenty-five years into trying to salvage a marriage and having to admit it died 24 years ago because the woman admitted she never loved me and was just using me, was devastating.

My friend said she is "disappointed" with me because I can't take time off work to go to a festival. She has other friends she is going with. Why is she making me feel so guilty?

She has little respect for your work ethic. If you want to keep her as a friend, I’d confront her with why you have "ethical behavior" and voice your disappointment in her for not respecting this. Then, I’d recommend she look into some "ethical behavior" for her own life.  Offer to help if she doesn't know what "ethical behavior" is.

Author's comment:  I have stood up for myself which I don't usually do with her and she's come back telling me that if I wanted to go I should have booked the time off sooner. We are only in February and the festival is in June but others have taken the time off. She says I am making poor excuses. But this is the same person who didn't attend the second day of a festival in August because she couldn't be bothered. She also had made plans with me in the past where I paid for a ticket for an event and canceled last minute after I have messaged her on the day she said last minute she didn't want to go. I said no matter what I do it doesn't feel good enough and her response was, why bother with me then?

My reply:  Lack of respect and a desire for control, then. Let her go, and hang with a better class of people. She sounds like life is all about her, so maybe you should let it be all about her… without you.

What would you do if you found out that a painting your partner did of a female turned out to be his ex but lied to you and said it was no one he knew?

Your partner is a liar. I’d find a partner that isn’t.

“Love is a verb, not a noun. It is active. Love is not just feelings of passion and romance. It is behavior. If a man lies to you, he is behaving badly and unlovingly toward you. He is disrespecting you and your relationship. The words “I love you” are not enough to make up for that. Don’t kid yourself that they are.”

-- Susan Forward

What is the number one reason why women cheat?

Lack of satisfaction, or the need for excitement. But, I repeat myself.

I found out my dad was cheating. Should I tell my mother or someone else?

Confront your dad. Tell him if it doesn’t stop, you’re going to mom. If he says there are issues, tell him to suck it up or file for divorce. This won’t be the rocket science he’ll probably be making it out to be.

Why did my friends feel no remorse for betraying me and dismissing me, instead keep saying that it's nothing, and feel justified and think that I am overreacting and laughing at me?

They aren’t your friends. Time to embrace this fact and find yourself some true friends.

I love her, but for her, I'm just a friend and we spend 3 hours a day video chatting. What should I do?

If she doesn’t know the way you feel, tell her.

How do I find someone to enjoy videos of teens having sex with me?

Call the County Sheriff’s office.

“Some abusers organize themselves in groups to abuse children and other adults in a more formally ritualized way. Men and women in these groups can be abusers with both sexes involved in all aspects of the abuse. Children are often forced to abuse other children. Pornography and prostitution are sometimes part of the abuse as is the use of drugs, hypnotism, and mind control. Some groups use complex rituals to terrify, silence, and convince victims of the tremendous power of the abusers. the purpose is to gain and maintain power over the child in order to exploit. Some groups are so highly organized that they also have links internationally through trade in child pornography, drugs and arms.

Some abusers organize themselves around religion or faith and the teaching and training of the children within this faith often take the form of severe and sustained torture and abuse. Whether or not the adults within this type of group believe that what they are doing is, in some way 'right' is immaterial to the child on the receiving end of the 'teachings' and abuse.”

-- Laurie Matthew 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com