More Long & Short Answers to Questions

 

“If anyone tells you that a certain person speaks ill of you, do not make excuses about what is said of you but answer, "He was ignorant of my other faults, else he would not have mentioned these alone.”

-- Epictetus

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Note to my readers:  9,600 people have viewed my answers over the past week. I'm still averaging enough to push for 500,000 views for a twelve-month period.  If I reach 1,000,000 views, maybe someone will buy me that cup of coffee.  One can only hope.

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The long answers:

 

Do people who are very humble undervalue themselves?

I consider myself very humble, and I certainly don’t undervalue myself. We all have value, and we are all different in why we are valuable, but thinking you are more valuable than others negates humility. 

Do people prefer to hate others rather than love and accept? If so, why?

Love and acceptance take some work. It is so much easier to just hate. Don’t you just hate that?

Reader comment: Yes, people might be afraid to love, to give of themselves, so hate comes much easier.

If you’re an adult, what are some things that you consider as important advice or something that someone younger struggling should know?

Be ethical, stay out of debt, love your work and work hard at what you love, and be happy always and in all things.

 Is anything more important than love?

Nope. True love is all you need. Once you find it, you’ll have truly attained true happiness. 

What is better, great sex or a solid loving relationship?

When you’re young, great sex. But, as you mature, you discover the reality of having a solid, loving, relationship. Make sure you find it with the right partner, though. Divorce is a bitch, when you're still in love. 

“We waste time looking for the perfect lover, instead of creating the perfect love.”

-- Tom Robbins

What do you call or refer to the people who work in your team as a manager?

Whatever their first name is. I’ve never been on a team that was strict on ceremony. Our priority was to get the job done on schedule with zero errors. Titles just muddied the water. We didn’t have time to screw around with an “us” and “them” rift.

What is the most important lesson to teach a child about life?

Be truly happy always and in all things, or, failures are simply opportunities to learn. It’s a toss-up.

I don't want to be honest. What should I do?

Move to another country and save our society the court costs. We have enough crap going down here.

Is delayed gratification the key to success?

Delayed gratification stresses me out. The only thing I can think might be a key, is the sadistic person delaying the gratification.

Do you pray regularly? What is a prayer for you?

Every morning I thank God for the gift of another day in paradise and another chance to excel in life.

“The function of prayer is not to influence God, but rather to change the nature of the one who prays.”

-- Soren Kierkegaard

I feel like I’m pretty. but I’m still not happy why is that?

Have you made the choice to be happy? Try that. Make the conscious choice to strive to be happy always and in all things, regardless of wealth or status. Stop making excuses not to be. It is your life, so be happy in it.

How do we skip over the bullshit and have sex?

Ask if you can skip over the bullshit and have sex. Hey, there’s an expiration date on both of you, so might as well jump right to it. The worst that can happen is not.

My wife has just gotten a job as a postie. Is it acceptable to call her a “she mail”?

Good one! Actually, though, she would be rightly called a “post” man, as women came after men in the postal service.

What is your 'proof' that a god exists?

There is no “proof” either way. This is why belief, either way, is a matter of faith. Faith, of course, is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.

My girl is smashed every time I visit. Does she need to be drunk to be around me?

Well, maybe not.  She might be an alcoholic. It doesn’t always have to be about you, you know.  Just saying.

“I thought about the days I had handed over to a bottle..the nights I can't remember..the mornings i slept thru..all the time spent running from myself.”

-- Mitch Albom

 And, the short ones:

What do you call someone who chooses to stay away from romantic and sexual relationships (not sexuality just a choice)? What’s a word or name for that? Could it be philosophical?

Burned, and more than once.

Is it okay to date in 11th grade?

What kept you?

Do you need to ask an important question?

No. The perpetually offended would just love that.

Why am I attracted to sexual harassment? Is this normal?

Oh, hell no. I love to be sexually harassed. Don’t all men?

What’s wrong with being a 57-year-old virgin?

If you don’t know, I can’t explain it to you.

I am gay and a crossdresser. How can I tell my best friend that, if he doesn't like gays and crossdressing?

Explain it to him. It will have to be his choice. He can accept it, or not.

The friend my ex cheated with keeps wanting me to be friends with them again and join the friend group. What do I do?

Say no. This is not the ethical group you need to befriend.

What are the most important qualities of people?

Good moral ethics, and the ability to love and be truly happy. 

Would I like to become a porn star?

I don’t know you. Would you? 

My husband cheated on me, and I cheated back. Why don't I feel better?

You thought two wrongs would make it right? 

What do you do when everyone says no to you?

Say yes to you. It is your life, not theirs.

My boyfriend has a friend that hit on me. I decided to cut him (the friend) off my life because it’s weird. Is that okay? My boyfriend said I was being too extreme.

Cut the boyfriend loose, as well.

Is there a language that particularly bothers you?

Gibberish. It means nothing to anyone.

How long will retirement last?

Until you come out of retirement, or you die.

What is the appropriate way to react to another man groping your partner?

A solid punch in the face sounds pretty good, but I'd warn them first. 

How do I break two people up because the girl is being fake to him?

Tell him, she’s his problem, not yours

Should I continue my relationship with my boyfriend despite possibly not seeing him much over the next few months?

If you both really like each other, this will be a good test.

What is your definition of a goal that is worth putting work into your whole life?

A lifetime goal.

 What habits should you continue? Why?

Ethical habits, because right is never wrong.

Is there any idiomatic expression or saying that means something like "you must learn to have moral virtues and values before you achieve power and financial status in life"?

Try this:

"Six essential qualities that are the key to success include sincerity, personal integrity, humility, courtesy, wisdom, and charity." 

-- Dr. William Menninger

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com