Questions: More of the Long and the Short!

 

"There is something about a long pair of great legs. Should you show them off? My God, yes! Flaunt them for all to see! The short skirt, the high heels, and, of course, the lack of nylons... because, excellence needs no assistance. The only things that can add to the picture are beautiful hands and a "come hither" smile. The variety of womanhood, leaves me as a child in a candy store.  Goodness, I do so love being a man!"

-- F.A. Villari

 

The longs: 

I don't even know what I'm doing right now. I'm hopeless. Can anyone please comfort me with some hope in this life?

No one is ever hopeless, as long as you have faith. If you are faithless, now you’re in deep doo-doo. Look at what you’ve said: “I don’t even know what I’m doing right now.” Right now, you state, but, perhaps you’ll know a bit later. In this one sentence, you evidence some feeling of hope, so, not all is lost.

If you truly don’t know what you are doing, maybe you should stop whatever it is you’re doing and figure it out. Make a plan, find a path, and move forward. Above all else, you need to make the conscious choice to be happy always and in all things, even if you don’t know what you’re doing. There are days when I feel like I don’t know what I’m doing, but I keep on smiling because I’m happier than a pig in shit with the knowledge that this, too, shall pass.

How do emotional experiences alter our perception of reality? What examples come to mind immediately?

I’ve been burned badly by a marriage, infidelity, and divorce. I see my new girlfriend of several years laughing and talking quietly with another man. I get jealous, even though nothing is going on. My perception of reality is skewed by the emotional scars of a past incident.

What could have changed if you used reason together with your emotions before you made a decision?

Absolutely! This is an example of mature thinking. Emotion should, usually, take a back seat in decision-making. 

What "out of the box" technique do you find particularly creative?

This is a strange question. I’ve never thought about it. I define the box, everything I know about something, and then I go looking for what I don’t know. You can only analyze with what you know, but it’s what you don’t know that will invalidate your analysis. What you don’t know is located outside of the box.

I make a mental list of what I think know, and then, I make another list of what I think I don’t know and see if what I don’t know will have an effect on what I know.

An architect has run pipes and electrical around the walls of a proposed building. This I know. Is this per code, or can we run the pipes and electrical across the ceiling or floor above? This I don’t know, but now I’m thinking out of the box, away from the known.

The shortest distance between two points would seem logical. This I need to learn because it will save time and money to do so.

We do things because we’re given a set of specs, plans, and other information from people we think know what they’re doing. When we think about what we don’t know, everyone might learn from what we find.

What are some interesting ways to end a petty argument?

Try stating, “This is a petty argument. You win.” Why be involved in petty arguments? Why argue at all? There are so many more important things to be discussed.

“It's amazing--my parents call everything a discussion. If I were standing across the street, firing a bazooka at my mother, while my father was launching mortar back at me, and Jeffery was charging down the driveway with a grenade in his teeth, my parents would say we should stop having this public "discussion".”

-- Jordan Sonnenblick

What thing should you never buy for a narcissist?

A book about narcissism. They won’t read it, and they’ll probably unfriend you... which might be a good thing.

You may think you were wrong in the past, but why don't you think you will be wrong at present?

Being wrong in the past is a lesson I bring into the present. It tells me I can be wrong. It is why I try to operate with humility. We never have all of the information. You can answer questions, but if the question leaves out pertinent information your answer won’t mean diddly.

People put questions out on this site all the time, and they get flustered when the answer they asked for doesn’t meet their expectations. Well, ask a better question, one filled with all the required information, and you’ll probably get a more satisfactory answer. It does little good to beat up someone who is trying to do the right thing when you’ve set them up to fail.

Everyone can be wrong, but if they’re given the complete picture, they’re more apt to be right. Information is gold.

Why is it rightly said that the way to someone’s heart is through their stomach?

People who appreciate good food love people who can really cook.

How do I cheer myself up and move on when everything went horribly wrong?

Failure is simply an opportunity to learn. You failed horribly, so the learning should be robust. Always strive to be happy always and in all things, even failure. Learn from your mistakes and move forward. I’d rather be a person who makes mistakes and learns from them than a person who goes through life thinking they’re perfect, fails, and has no cluehow to recover. I’d rather laugh at their inability to recognize an opportunity to learn and tell them, “I remember when everything went horribly wrong for me. Maybe I can be of some help.”

What image made you think deep?

An aborted fetus. There's just something about murdering innocence. 

“When a poet digs himself into a hole, he doesn't climb out. He digs deeper, enjoys the scenery, and comes out the other side enlightened.”

-- Criss Jami

Why does she still stare at me when she’s with her husband? I’m a girl.

And, your point is?

Maybe she likes you being a girl? Maybe they’re into ménage à trois? Why don’t you ask her, in private, why she keeps looking at you? Adventure might be a simple question away.

Do you enjoy making love or having sex more?

Cheap, exotic, nasty, unforgiving night of raucous sex. We can talk about the possibilities of “love” tomorrow.

What’s the secret to waking up happy?

Are you on this side of the dirt? Yes? Then what’s not to be happy about? Any morning you wake up is a good morning. I thank God for the gift of another day in paradise and another chance to excel in life. Do I fail? Occasionally, but, failure is simply another opportunity to learn, and what’s wrong with learning? Try understanding life. It really isn’t as hard as we try to make it. Make the conscious choice to strive for true happiness always and in all things. The alternative really sucks! 

Have you ever wanted to flash naked in front of your dad?

No, but the U.S. Capitol building comes to mind, right now. I mean, they’ve taken almost everything else.

What if you feel like your girlfriend might’ve received happy Valentine messages and gifts from guys she dated in her past?

Might’ve? Why don’t you ask her? Then you can worry about if she “might’ve” lied or not. Then you can ask why you’re with a person that “might’ve” lied to you, that you have trust issues with? 

But, to set all this in motion you, first, have to ask her, face to face, if other guys are doing this.

Author's comment: Thanks, Tony. I know I need to go ahead and address it face-to-face but I’m just disappointed in myself for getting involved and then ultimately having feelings for someone of this type of character because I’m 50 years old and I have paid attention and usually do my due diligence when choosing that special someone to date to avoid all this unnecessary heartache! We are in a good spot right now or at least that’s what it looks like from the outside but I still have a lot of doubt and questions that haven’t been answered or addressed. 

I hope and pray that I don’t have to feel like this much longer because the greatest gift he gave us is love and I love her but I have to become strong enough to accept and endure the pain that comes from getting rid of her because I don’t want to stay we’ve been broken up several times for a couple weeks to a month at a time and she’s right back into the single atmosphere doing her thing and I have it went out with anyone during those times apart. 

But she always comes back! Either she’s been out and had a few drinks and yada, yada! Or she’ll call or send a text message asking me if she can take me to dinner or go get a beverage so we can talk. I don’t know. I’ll stop rambling right here. 

"Every crap boyfriend has at least one good memory attached to him. But you have to let them go. Otherwise, you're all, 'Oh, but there was that lovely time we walked in the autumn leaves."

-- Sophie Kinsella

Why is dying not something that you fear?

Shit happens. Fearing it won’t change the inevitable. Besides, you need to be preparing for the next great adventure to follow, not worrying about things over which you have little or no control.

My 12-year-old daughter keeps spreading horrible lies about my 11-year-old adopted son. He's being harassed at school by everyone, boys, girls, and teachers. What do I do?

You’re the parent. You obviously have “dirt” on your daughter. I know because I have a daughter. Tell her if she doesn’t cease and desist, you’ll give your son the “dirt” to do with what he will. Write it all down so she knows you are yanking her chain, and have your son with you when you tell her. I think this is called “tough love.” Or, maybe it’s blackmail.

Why don’t we have the leaders we deserve?

Why do voters have their heads up their collective ass? You vote for crap, you get crap. Try voting for the one that smells better.

Is money a tool that can help increase our happiness if used correctly?

Only if you use it selflessly, or if you’re into material stuff. Buying material things can boost your standard of living, which will make you “happy” until you’re not. This is not true happiness. Having a program where you can use your extra wealth for sustainable, selfless, good can create true happiness which is hard for many to come by.

What does the saying "What you see is not always what it seems" mean?

You see someone shoot somebody. Is the shooter a plainclothes cop? Is it a drama being filmed so nobody is aware in order to get good reactions? Was there another shooter, you didn’t see, on a “grassy knoll”?  Is the shooting actually what it seems?

“Things are not always what they seem; the first appearance deceives many; the intelligence of a few perceives what has been carefully hidden.”

-- Phaedrus

 The shorts:

 

I like a girl but she cut me off what should I do?

Find a better girl to like.

Why do we undergo changes?

Change is the only true constant in the universe.

Where is the thin line between good and bad addiction?

A “good” addiction does no harm, so they say.

Why does my deceased husband seem unhappy in my dreams?

He might have left things unsaid or undone.

Can someone actually hang themselves?

Yes, so don’t experiment. 

Why doesn’t my partner want to have sex with me?

Who are they having sex with?

I kept something from my family, something bad, (my grades) and now they hate me. Mom yells at me regularly, everyone else is depressed, and I do not know what to do. I know I am a bad daughter. What should I do?

Try studying.

What makes people worry about wealth management?

Sustainable retirement.

What makes you happy at the moment?

Life!

Are you happy because you don’t have a problem?

Exceedingly! 

Why can’t my partner or I initiate sex even though we have discussed that we both want it?

Are you shy? Rip off your clothes and get to it!

Does life give what you need but not what you want?

Constantly, but I think morality has a big hand in it.

Would it be okay to ask a random woman to have sex?

Be prepared for a lot of rejection and physical abuse.

What do you say if a woman invites you into her life because she is starving for sex?

“Thank you!”

If you think about someone every second, does the person think about you too?

That would be too easy.

Why should you forgive a partner who cheated?

They say you should be forgiving, so forgive them on your way out.

“If I cheated on my spouse or partner, and they made the choice to stay with me regardless, I would leave that person. I will never be perceived as someone who needs a nice warm bath to come home to after rolling around outside in the grass; a coddled person, an infantile person, a person who's choices are perceived as the mistakes of a toddler, only needing to be slapped on the hand and then coddled. That would kill the relationship for me, that would kill everything. I'm not an inconsequential flower, I'm not a purified version washed down to be palatable; I am an equal. My mistakes should be treated as mistakes. I don't need forgiveness for anything that I do.

I'm not an inconsequential flower, I'm not a purified version washed down to be palatable; I am an equal. My mistakes should be treated as mistakes. I don't need forgiveness for anything that I do.”

-- C. JoyBell C.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com