Questions of Thinking, Aging, and Failing

 

“When you're young, you always feel that life hasn't yet begun—that "life" is always scheduled to begin next week, next month, next year, after the holidays—whenever. But then suddenly you're old and the scheduled life didn't arrive. You find yourself asking, 'Well then, exactly what was it I was having—that interlude—the scrambly madness—all that time I had before?”

-- Douglas Coupland

What is the most important quality to have in order to be successful?

Perseverance.

Is it true that thinking for yourself is not always a good thing?

If thinking for yourself is not always a good thing, it’s no reason to have someone else do the thinking for you. Learn to think better, to make better choices and decisions. or even check your thinking against others to see if you’re on the right track. The minute you let someone else think for you, where does it end? It is your life, not theirs.

Right now, in the United States, the Marxist left is trying to seize control so they can do all the thinking for the citizens. This will never happen, or there will be a revolution in order to protect our rights and the Constitution. Thinking for yourself is always a good thing.

How were you rewarded for having patience during the COVID-19 pandemic?

I caught COVID-19. Thought I had the flu till a couple of weeks later when I went to be tested.

“Water does not resist. Water flows. When you plunge your hand into it, all you feel is a caress. Water is not a solid wall, it will not stop you. But water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing, in the end, can stand against it. Water is patient. Dripping water wears away a stone. Remember that, my child. Remember you are half water. If you can't go through an obstacle, go around it. Water does.”

-- Margaret Atwood

Do you believe you are positively helping your aging process?

Nope. I drink too much and don’t exercise at all. I am, however, striving to be happy at all times, which is more than most people can say.

When don't we know who we are and what we want?

At 68, I’m pretty comfortable with who I am and what I want. If I were to think about a time when I’m confused about these, it would probably be after the third or fourth bourbon, and whether or not I should be going home. But, even then, I know I’m getting hammered, and I know I want to hit the head. So, it’s not who I am or what I want that’s the issue, it’s knowing I need to stand up that concerns me.

Is walking with your head down an expression of defeat?

My goodness, I hope not! Most “humble” people, including myself, walk with their eyes on the path and a smile on their faces. Yet, humility is seen by many as a sign of weakness, not as a possible warning of imminent whoop-ass. Defeat is usually the least of their worries. 

“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests but also to the interests of others. Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” 

-- Philippians 2:3-8

What are five reasons for failing?

Poor planning, lack of perseverance, poorly defined goal, lack of focus, and, just maybe, being a dumbass? 

What thing did you try to teach yourself that backfired so bad it has now become a running joke with family and friends?

Tequila. I tried it, several times, with poor results. It wasn’t that it made my clothes fall off, that became expected. I forgot where I put them. Yeah, right? If you’ve ever had to drive home naked, you know what I’m talking about.

Do you put more effort into your personal relationships or your job?

My job. Personal relationships take care of themselves, they shouldn’t take that much effort or you’re going about them all wrong. Divorce tends to be a proving ground for this.

“No relationship works without making an effort. That goes without saying. But you should never overcompensate.”

-- Sonam Kapoor

How can you tell the world about your aims in life?

If you’re humble, why does the world need to know? If you’re not humble, does your ego need stroking? If it’s an “ego” thing, make sure your aims are set high so people don’t crush you under their criticism. Personally, I’d keep my aims to myself, unless someone asks.

I lost everything because of how I will not change or do better because of failure. Why do I even try, and why do I give up so easily?

These questions are always so easy when they answer themselves. You don’t try because, in your mind, you’ve already decided you will not change. The fact you don’t want to do better, so it follows, you give up easily,.  This is because of the same thing. You have become a self-defined quitter, and a quitter fails due to lack of effort.

First, understand that change is the only true constant in the universe, so you fail because you choose to fight universal law. If you want to do better, try embracing change. Critique your failures, see where you went wrong, and try again, and again, until you get it right. Think of it as a game where the only outcome is to, ultimately, win.

I’m not sure there is anything you can do except make a conscious choice to do the opposite of what you’re doing. You need to accept change and flow with it. You need to seriously learn from failure so you don’t fail again. And, if you do fail again, you need to learn the art of perseverance - never give up, and never surrender.

Until you choose to change your mindset, nothing else will ever change.

What is the purpose of living? Should I die because no one even cares about or loves me? Will dying work?

The purpose of living is to live. Should you die? Not if the purpose of living is to live. Dying, then, makes no sense. So, you think living is all about being cared about and loved? There are so many people out there who go through their entire life being lied to by people about how much they care about and love them… when they really don’t.

It sounds, to me, like you have no idea of your value, your worth, not only to society and those around you but, more importantly, to yourself. The fact you consider death as a solution shows a lack of self-caring. I’m going back to the “flight attendant safety briefing.” You need to put your oxygen mask on first, before assisting the passenger next to you. How can you love others without first loving you? How can you expect others to love you if even you don’t care about you?

Dying will not work. You will find yourself right back here, learning the same hard lessons you are here to learn. How many times do you have to die before you take a better path?

You can seek help from professionals to get through this but, ultimately, it is still your choice, a choice you must make, to take the higher road and move forward.

“The mystery of human existence lies not in just staying alive, but in finding something to live for.”

-- Fyodor Dostoyevsky

When does learning something new feel like a let-down?

When do you realize learning something new adds no real useful value to your life? In college, I discovered I wanted to learn, not because it added any useful value to my life, but because I really liked to learn new things. After struggling to graduate high school, I made a consistent 3.2 GPA in college. I absorbed psychology.

Now, at 68, I look up at my books and see religion, poems, physics, Eastern philosophy, spirituality, and the politics of Jefferson, Hamilton, Jay, Paine, and the U.S. Constitution, just to name a few.

Learning, for me, rarely adds any real useful value to my life. I learn for the sake of learning. I learn because I want to. The only time I feel let down? That would be when I have the epiphany that what I read, what I've learned, is based on so much propaganda and bullshit. People can really be that ignorant.

Is being bullied something that must happen or something that can be avoided?

Bullying happens when a target for bullying is presented. No target, no bullying. Unfortunately, this does not address the issue of bullying, or of a victim’s right to pursue happiness. As one of the smallest in my schools, I had to make the conscious choice to constantly live in fear or to face and confront the assholes on their own turf, which seemed to be everywhere.

I didn’t back down, and I also didn’t throw a punch. My mouth did all my fighting for me. I had to endure a few ass-whippings, but they soon tired of being made a fool out of for their cowardice of picking on those smaller and weaker instead of a linebacker on the football team. Their girlfriends weren’t very impressed either, come to find out.

Can bullying be avoided? Yes, but you still end up getting a beating psychologically. I chose to confront the issue head-on and grew, from the experience, to be someone who fights for those who can’t fight for themselves. Sometimes a good ass-whipping is a wake-up call.

Frugality is a good thing for individuals, but if everyone does it, the economy will not run. Isn't there a way to improve the economy while still allowing everyone to live a solid life?

The economy will still run, but most people will learn how to stay out of debt. The money will still flow, but the accrued debt will be much less. People will learn to save up and pay cash for things they really need. It’s what they don’t really need that will take a beating. Then again, what they don’t really need adds “what” to their lives? Better to learn happiness without it, that way when it disappears, you are still happy always.

“Frugality is one of the most beautiful and joyful words in the English language, and yet one that we are culturally cut off from understanding and enjoying. The consumption society has made us feel that happiness lies in having things, and has failed to teach us the happiness of not having things.”

-- Elise Boulding

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com