Questioning Entitlement, Judgment, and Change

 

"A Bill of Rights is what the people are entitled to against every government, and what no just government should refuse, or rest on inference."

-- Thomas Jefferson

Do you wish anybody good luck with their own choices?

If I feel their choice has a chance of failure, yes.

Is there a term for a situation, where the need is obvious but nobody actually wants or even shows interest in the product that you offer to satisfy this need?

"Indifference" to the need, or your solution.

Author's comment:  Thank you very much for your response. I was just wondering if there is a description of a situation I've been experiencing because it has probably happened to others as well. In my example, both when I talked to people around me and when I made surveys on this subject, the majority stated that they had the problem. I asked if they would use an efficient solution if available, again the majority said yes. When I presented the solution, the majority didn't even bother to review it, so they didn't even want to look at how it worked or its price. So I am looking for a generally accepted definition of such a situation.

My reply:  “Indifference” to your solution, still fits.

What does the meaning of success look like to you?

Constant happiness. If you are successful, you must be happy. If you’re not happy, of what use is success? You may have reached your goal, but in order to rank yourself successful, you must be happy to have attained it.

“Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.”

-- Maya Angelou

Whatever is worrying you right now, forget about it. Take a deep breath, stay positive, and know that things will get better. Patience and trust is your need?

The statement is obvious, but I’m confused as to its context with the question. Are you making a statement or asking a question?

I seldom worry. I’m almost always positive. Things always get better. Patience is a virtue, and trust is earned. Oh, and I really need very little.

What is the most sentimental honor or recognition you’ve ever received?

The “Meritorious Service Medal” for my 22+ years with Intelligence.

Have you ever suddenly felt as though all hope in life escaped you? The mask of the world and life as we know it was finally revealed and the feeling is so strong that nothing will make you believe otherwise?

I felt this loss when my wife of 20 years divorced me. She admitted she had used me as an escape and had never really loved me. I woke up. There was the “mask of the world and life” as she believed it to be, and there was this new freedom of reality, a feeling of happiness and success, that I was about to embrace. She was nothing more than a 20 year lesson that I had a hard time learning.

“How did I escape? With difficulty. How did I plan this moment? With pleasure.”

-- Alexandre Dumas

If someone had trusted you with their life, does honor demand that you give your life in order to honor their trust, or are they responsible for their decisions and mistakes?

Only if their life was put in danger by a choice or decision I made, but this presupposes I have accepted responsibility for their life, which I won’t do unless there is no other option. I will mentor, help them, save them if I can, but, ultimately, we are all responsible for our own lives. They can follow me, learn from me, and feel free to leave at any time. It is always their choice. The only reason a person has to entrust you with their life is to shift their blame onto you when things go south for them.

What are some proven ways to make up for something you have done wrong?

Make it right.

Can a goal change over the course of a conflict?

Absolutely. New information can change the impetus for conflict and/or the direction it takes.

"And remember… ”not now” does not mean “not ever.”

Putting a goal on hold because you’re more excited and passionate about something else doesn’t mean you have to cross that dream off the list for good.

But listen to your gut. Embrace the change, explore your new interests, and do what makes your heart and soul happy. The rest will figure itself out."

-- Jessica Lawlor

How do I stop feeling defeated? I'm 30 and an esthetician whose career isn't going well for 4 years now. I've always wished to travel to different countries, work hard for money and succeed in life, but has been the exact opposite. Feeling stuck.

You’re thirty years old. This means you probably have, at least, 50 years ahead of you. About what you’ve always wanted (and this is what this is all about), if not now, then, when? Sell everything you have, and travel. You may find better, and happier, opportunities down the road.

When I was 58 I wanted to move to Mexico. There were obvious concerns, from my parents, but, if not then, when? When I was 70 or 80? Never? I moved to Manzanillo for two years and never regretted my choice. Life is about making choices to be happy in life. You aren’t. You’re stuck because you won’t move. So, how about changing the music to something with a rhythm you can dance to? Make a choice to live life.

Author's comment:  Thank you so much, Mr. Villari! I actually dont know how to reply to your comment on my post. I really so much appreciate your advice. It's so cooling to my heart.

You're so right! I've been so stuck after i completed college and nothing seem to work for me. I've everything people are selling. They sell well but it doesnt work with me. I invest so much into business and get nothing in return.

In need of a new start now! Thanks, and God bless you so much!

My reply:  God bless you, in your future endeavors. I hate sales. I think I hate it because people hate to feel like they're being fed something. You have an education, you simply have no direction. It sounds a bit trite, but maybe you have to step back from the trees in order to see the forest. Take some time to find why you are, and then find who you are, and then find your own path. But, above all else, strive to be happy always! The alternative simply sucks. I’m here for you if you need an ear. 

Author's reply:  Appreciate that so much.

Have you completed the two things that you must do before 2021 is over? Have you written these thoughts down, and have you talked to someone about them?

There is nothing I must do. I would like to rewrite my two novels, I just need to give myself enough space to accomplish it. I don’t think it will happen in 2021, though.

When did you realize that you were born to be rich? What did you do about it? Did you tell your friend or family member? How do you succeed on that goal or are you still working on it?

When I was in high school. I was embarrassed to bring friends over to the house because they’d think I was spoiled. My parent’s never carried debt and I worked for everything I had, dad’s rules. They were into real estate, and doing so well it was only dad waiting for the reason to retire so they could just do that for a living. I didn’t want any part of it as an adult. I was a much more humble person with simpler needs and wants. At 68, I still am, and I am debt-free. Before he died, I helped dad put everything in a trust to protect it. My goal is to carry out his wish of donating it all to the local animal shelter. He earned it.

"The problem with beauty is that it's like being born rich and getting poorer."

-- Joan Collins

Why does it seem when you are winning you are really losing and when you are losing you are really winning?

If all we do is win, we aren’t truly prepared to lose. We don’t really know what to do. If we lose, we have an opportunity to learn lessons that winners will never enjoy, since failure is the best way we learn. When we fail, we fall back and critique why we did what we did, find where we went wrong, learn from it so we are better prepared next time, and move forward again. If you get rich overnight, your foundation for sustainability isn’t as strong as it would be if you had to build it up slowly.

My mother-in-law continuously pesters my husband and me about children, when we have already made clear our intention to remain childless. I know she means well, but it's getting invasive. How can I get her to stop?

Have your husband tell mom he’s infertile. Of course, any prospective grandma will offer up adoption. So, your husband end’s up lying to mom and in the same boat. Family is a tough cookie to eat. They look great and taste great, but, sometimes, they’re hard to chew, much less swallow. This subject is something your husband should take a hard stand with mom about. You might become just “the bitch he married” if you push it.  Of course, he might come to view you as the "bitch" he married if you push him too hard. 

Why do ugly-looking people deserve happiness?

What do you think “ugly-looking people” deserve, if not happiness? If they aren’t being judged by people who have “uglier” personalities, most people wouldn’t give looks a second thought. They’d be too interested in what the ugly-looking people look like inside to realize what the uglier acting people want them to see.

Ugly-looking people deserve happiness because they are people. Their true beauty is in the eye of the non-judgmental beholder. People who only see ugly have already defined who they, themselves, are.

“Narcissistic personality disorder is named for Narcissus, from Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own reflection. Freud used the term to describe persons who were self-absorbed, and psychoanalysts have focused on the narcissist's need to bolster his or her self-esteem through grandiose fantasy, exaggerated ambition, exhibitionism, and feelings of entitlement.”

-- Donald W. Black

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com