Questions of Pride, Business, and Success

 

What does the following quote mean? "There are two kinds of pride, both good and bad. Good pride represents our dignity and self-respect. Bad pride is the deadly sin of superiority that reeks of conceit and arrogance" - John Maxwell

The quote is pretty clear. First, it makes the statement, then it explains what good and bad pride are. I’m not sure what you’re missing?

Are there any businesses that you admire for being sneaky but good at what they do?

There are many businesses that are sneaky, it makes them good at what they do. Heaven forbid they should try to actually be good at what they do without being sneaky about things. I have no admiration for someone who does business without a sense of good ethical behavior. I dealt with these idiots for 17 years and called them down for their behavior constantly. I found that some of them will meet you halfway when you balk at their business practice.

There is, currently, a major airline that advertised your first checked bag was free if you used their credit card, so my girlfriend applied and used it. Then, yesterday, she was checking in for a flight to visit her son when she was told the rules for the “first bag free” now only applied to the “Gold Card” customers. She is shredding her card when she gets back. They all do this, but what makes them think we need their credit card for any other reason? If people take a stand, their unethical behavior will probably change when the results hurt their bottom line.

What are the keywords that have guided you to success in life?

Don’t subvert your "good ethics" for any reason. Hey, this will probably get you fired, but you’ll be able to look at yourself in the mirror and be confident that you did the right thing. When you go for your next job interview and they asked why you left your last job, explain your good sense of ethics to them. Explain that hard work and a good moral sense of ethics meant nothing to the last company. Sooner or later you’ll hit paydirt, and you can still hold your head high when you do.

I held to this ideal for 23 years of military service, for 17 years with an Institutional Review Board, and for several years while upgrading a country club. I have never regretted holding to my good ethical beliefs.

“Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts.”

-- Winston S. Churchill

Perfectionism is crushing my mental health. I don’t know how to accept my mistakes and move on. I always just think about how I could have done something different. What should I do?

And… you’re human. Welcome to the race. No one is perfect, and if they say they are they’re lying to you. Perfection does not exist. Why? Because change is the only true constant in the universe.

People live to dethrone the egotistical who believe they’re all that, and they succeed for the very reason that nothing is perfect. Because nothing is perfect it can always be better, and when it is better, that, too, can be better. It is what it is until it isn’t, and then it is what it is again, and again, and again, and so on. The only perfection is God, and even that thought comes under criticism.

We all critique ourselves so we can do better the next time.  If you don't do this you will constantly fail because you learn nothing from your failure.  Strive to be the best you can be, as this is all any of us can do.

What saying fundamentally changed how you view the world?

When I answered this, the word “saying” was not part of the question, so please accept my answer as the question was originally read:

“My military career. If you make the most of it, you get to see the best and worst of humankind. The world is a shithole of people repeating history, with a few good people trying, in their own humble way, to make it better by actually learning from history.”

Now, to answer the question as stated, “The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao.” 

Does saying you're sorry at work, make you appear weak? What are some things you could say instead (when you have made a mistake)?

If you did your best you have nothing to apologize for. Could you try to do better the next time, given what you’ve learned from failure? If you think so, then this is what you say instead, “I will critique what I did and will endeavor to do better the next time.” 

If you always give your best, you never have anything to apologize for. By the same token, if your team fails and you are the reason, “I’ve critiqued the issue and find this was totally my fault. I will write a report outlining the issue and how the failure can be mitigated the next time.” Again, nothing to apologize for if you did your best. You have put the blame where it belongs, and you have stated that a report is forthcoming on how to mitigate failure the next time. As a leader, the blame will always be yours, so own it. 

Or, you could just look them in the eye and say, matter-of-factly, “Shit happens.”

“Apologizing does not always mean you're wrong and the other person is right. It just means you value your relationship more than your ego.”

-- Mark Matthews

How do you complete, “You’re such a good man...”?

…and handsome, too.
…and a rocket scientist, to boot!
…and you cook.
…and gentle.
…and polite.
…and great in bed.
…too bad you’re taken. Does that matter?

...and I could go on and on.

What is the most painful thing in life to be deprived of?

Love.

Even on bad terms, loyalty shouldn't change. Is this right or wrong?

Dependent on the “bad terms” being considered. If your loyalty was misplaced, it should well be changed. If the person or company you’ve pledged loyalty to turns out to be unethical or immoral, the only ethical move is to inform them of your change of heart, and why, and leave. Your loyalty should be respected, not implicated. They say there is loyalty amongst thieves, but I have a hard time believing this when there’s no honor amongst them. 

“I don't care a damn about men who are loyal to the people who pay them, to organizations...I don't think even my country means all that much. There are many countries in our blood, aren't there, but only one person. Would the world be in the mess it is if we were loyal to love and not to countries?”

-- Graham Greene

What is the most important concept in the world?

Peace and freedom.

Do you exercise gratitude for the things that you have? I am interested to hear your thoughts.

Each and every morning when I wake up, I thank God for the gift of another day in paradise and another chance to excel in life. My gratitude is for the life I have been gifted. Without this daily gift, nothing else would be possible in this realm.

How far does charm get you in life?

Charm will open the door, what you do after that is all about what you know and what you can prove.

"You know what charm is: a way of getting the answer yes without having aske any clear question."

-- Albert Camus

What is your number one goal? I am interested to hear your thoughts.

Being retired, my goals are few. I want to live long enough to see a manned landing on Mars, or, perhaps, even a settlement.

What traits do people who make a great life from poor circumstances have?

If their ego hasn’t exploded and their nose is in the air, I’d say gratitude, humility, and knowledge that anything is possible through hard work and persistence. This makes them one hell of a mentor.

Is your dream self indefatigable?

You used a multi-syllable word. Kudos! No. My dream self comes and goes and changes character. It is anything but persistent.

“However, I continue to try and I continue, indefatigably, to reach out. There’s no way I can single-handedly save the world or, perhaps, even make a perceptible difference - but how ashamed I would be to let a day pass without making one more effort.”

-- Isaac Asimov

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com