More Questions of Values and Feeling Good

 

"I can't swim at the level I used to. I had to retire because of an injury to my shoulder."

--Scott Speedman

When have you thought to yourself that enough is enough, and what did you do about it?

I took the supervisor into another room, told him what he was doing wrong, and told him to stop before his people rebelled and he found himself demoted.

Can you accomplish anything of value ‘without’ trust?

Absolutely. If you’re waiting for “trust” then the value of what you accomplish is based on your selfish need for that trust. What you do, always, should be selfless. Do what is right because it is the right thing to do, not because it gets you something. What you get, if anything, is a bonus for your effort to do the right thing.

The “trust,” if given, will arrive with the completion of your selfless act, and, by definition, you will not complete the “selfless act” because of the trust. It will be completed because you selflessly wish it to.

How can we truly live peacefully and coexist harmoniously with respect and tolerance?

How can we “truly live peacefully and coexist harmoniously” without it? Respect and tolerance go hand in hand with understanding. Respect, tolerance, and understanding, are a great foundation for peace and harmony.

“It's a universal law-- intolerance is the first sign of an inadequate education. An ill-educated person behaves with arrogant impatience, whereas truly profound education breeds humility.”

-- Aleksandr I. Solzhenitsyn

How do you know if something feels good?

Because what you feel doesn’t feel neutral or bad. The only feeling left is a good one.

How will you explain the reason, purpose, and self-esteem together?

If your reason and purpose are selflessly based on your morally ethical code of behavior, you should have a good sense of self-esteem.

Is there a term for a situation, where demand is obvious but nobody actually wants or even shows interest in the product that you offer to satisfy this need?

Indifferent to the need.

“The opposite of love is not hate, it's indifference. The opposite of art is not ugliness, it's indifference. The opposite of faith is not heresy, it's indifference. And the opposite of life is not death, it's indifference.”

-- Elie Wiesel

How do you learn how to trust your gut?

You learn to “trust your gut” feelings through trial and error. Learning from bad choices and decisions will help you to make better ones in the future.

If I’ve been enabled most of my life financially, is that my fault or the fault of the person who has been doing the enabling?

It’s mostly the fault of the enabler. Having qualified this, you are also at fault for not demanding to learn the value of hard work. Even the very wealthy should have an appreciation for what it takes to keep them wealthy. The only true way to get this "appreciation" is to get their hands dirty, to do the work, from the lowest level to the highest.

Do you have any good advice or life lessons that may help others?

Stay out of any debt. The more debt you have, the more companies own you as their “indentured servant.” It isn’t “what’s in your wallet,” it’s really who is in your wallet. Personally, I don’t like belonging to someone. So, who’s “bitch” are you?

“Attitude is a choice. Happiness is a choice. Optimism is a choice. Kindness is a choice. Giving is a choice. Respect is a choice. Whatever choice you make makes you. Choose wisely.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

Is conflict good or bad in developing and managing people?

Conflict is rarely good, especially when there are time constraints or lives are at stake. Conflict shows a weakness in supervision or management. Whoever is causing the conflict should be removed. On the other hand, remove time and life from the equation, and constructive disagreement and discussion can be good if done correctly. It shows employees are thinking and concerned about the business at hand. Constructive disagreement or discussion should be nurtured as long as everyone understands the final decision lies with management.

What are some of the hardest truths about life after college?

Hard work, stress, and high blood pressure.

How do I stop saying “never mind”, especially when people can't hear me?

If what you’re saying isn’t important enough to ensure I hear it, why are you saying it? If it is important, then ensure people can hear you when you speak. Get closer, speak clearly, speak in a louder voice if need be, ensure people can see your mouth when you speak, and ask them if they hear you.

I’m hard of hearing and people just love to look the other way when they’re speaking to me. I can’t see their lips and can barely hear them when they turn away. First of all, turning away when speaking to someone is just rude, as is saying “never mind.” Second, I’m obviously older so speak the hell up and assume I can’t hear. Hearing aids don’t help me, and if I’m at my favorite cigar bar, or in a crowd, it will just create a deafening roar of noise for me. 

Your inability to communicate clearly should not be my problem. My problem is physical, in that I can’t hear you at times. Try helping the handicapped, instead of ignoring them, it costs you nothing but negligible effort.  But, most importantly, when people can't hear you don't just blow them off.  Saying "never mind" is probably making people feel like your inability to speak louder and clearer is their fault.

"It don't do you no nevermind to tell nobody nothing."

--Thomas McGuane

Are people less likely to suffer from misfortune and more likely to attain success than reality would suggest?

Yes, and attaining success can be rife with it. Failure or misfortune is one of the best ways we learn, if we care to critique ourselves that is. We learn what we did wrong and we strive to not do it again next time. We do this again and again until we attain success in our endeavor.

What will make your life better now?

A few weeks of vacation. I need a break from taking care of mom and two houses. I could use a little me-time around a pool at some nice resort with Pina Coladas and bikini-clad bodies.

How has the saying, "you can't fix stupid," worked in your life experience and/or the life experience of those close to you?

In the military, I was always saddled with the untrainable. I had a pretty good record of bringing them up to speed, but one always wondered how they ever made it into the top 10%. There were the rare occasions when I had to accept defeat and tell the Officer In Charge that “you can’t fix stupid.” With my track record of success, they took my conclusion as gospel, and the person was removed from the career field or given a discharge. 

"But let me tell you something, folks: You can't fix stupid. There's not a pill you can take; there's not a class you can go to. Stupid is forever."

-- Ron White

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com