Questions of Goals, Baiting, and Belief

What are some situations where you have been influenced by your private and public self-consciousness? What did this lead you to do? What have you learned about yourself from these experiences?

There’s only one situation that makes me self-conscious if I discover my zipper is down and I’m in the middle of the mall. It led me to zip up. I learned that I, from time to time, forget to zip. Of course, if I were younger, I could be subconsciously trolling. But, I’ve never been one to do that.

Do you consider yourself a good follower? How?

That depends on if I’m following an idiot, and how soon I realize it.

Does something good happen after something bad?

If what happens is bad enough, anything that happens after that would be viewed as good or, at least, not as bad. But something good doesn’t necessarily follow something bad, not right away, and maybe not for some time. Auschwitz was really bad for years before something really good arrived.

Even if we can agree that some things are natural and some are not, what follows from this? The answer is: nothing. There is no factual reason to suppose that what is natural is good (or at least better) and what is unnatural is bad (or at least worse). 

-- Julian Baggini

I asked an acquaintance how she was doing and she said she managed to be productive today. What do I say?

“That’s always a good thing.”

I’m 13 I stolen all the fat pencils from the playroom at the hospital. I have a bad home life and I don’t have stationary unless I steal it. I feel terrible. Am I a bad person?

You’ve stolen something that belonged to others. You should feel terrible. It’s called having a conscience. Having a bad home life is just an excuse. Make better choices. Ask a church or community outreach if they have some stationery and pencils. Explain your circumstances. If they don’t, ask them if they know where you can go to get some. Your first good choice is to take the fat pencils back to the playroom. You are better than this.

My ex keeps digging into what I say to catch me in lies even though I don't lie to her. Is she manipulating me?

If you think she’s manipulating you, why are you communicating with her? One of you is certainly playing the other. Maybe you should ask yourself, which one? I’d be looking for a better relationship and cut all ties with her that aren’t necessary, but, that's just me.

“There are those whose primary ability is to spin wheels of manipulation. It is their second skin and without these spinning wheels, they simply do not know how to function. They are like toys on wheels of manipulation and control. If you remove one of the wheels, they'll never be able to feel secure, be whole.”

-- C. JoyBell C.

How do I stop getting upset over minor changes and major changes in daily routines?

Embrace that “change” is the only true constant in the universe. There will always be change, but how we deal with change is your question. I can only speak for myself, as a person of faith. I look up to the heavens and laugh while asking God, “Really?” When things are going too well, I always smile and wait for the shit to hit the fan. Why get upset over something that’s already happened? You certainly can’t get upset if nothing has happened. So, what are you left with? Strive to be happy always! Why? Because the alternative simply sucks.

Are you really going to retire after 45? Why?

I did. After almost 23 years in military intelligence, I needed a change. I went to work for an Institutional Review Board for another 17 years, then retired to Mexico only to be called back, two years later, to assist my IRB boss with redoing a golf/country club they just bought. Now, I’m permanently retired on the Gulf Coast of Mississippi.

What are some good ways to learn about finance?

I learned it by climbing out of massive debt and a messy divorce, neither of which I recommend doing just to learn about finance.

“The understanding and utilization of money have gone a revolutionary change over the decades. Hence from an early life do not let your finances be handled by advisors or your bank. Rather read yourself and try to gain the knowledge about the dynamics of money and its investments.”

-- Sachin Mittal

How can I manifest what I want in just a day?

If what you want to manifest is “happiness,” all you have to do is make the conscious choice to be happy. It requires almost no work as opposed to trying to be miserable, which does require some effort. Happiness is simply about turning your back on all those things, all those bad choices, that make one miserable. If you can’t do that in a day, you have some serious personal issues which will affect manifesting anything, especially in only a day.

What actionable change in life is so difficult for many of us to accept and implement?

Responsibility. We usually don’t realize we’ve taken it on, so we really don’t take it seriously when implementing, nor do we really accept that we have it. Much of this is evidenced by the debts we take on in life and our constant struggle to get out from under all of them.  And, then, there are the marriages that go south, and parenting that many have no clue about.

Do I look like a man when I have achieved my goal?

If you're an adult, and your goal is to look like a man, probably. If you achieved your goal as a child, probably not. If you’re a woman, and your goal had nothing to do with looking like a man, probably not. Achieving a goal has little to do with age, and more about the struggle to achieve the goal.

“He has achieved success who has lived well, laughed often, and loved much;

Who has enjoyed the trust of pure women, the respect of intelligent men and the love of little children;

Who has filled his niche and accomplished his task;

Who has never lacked appreciation of Earth's beauty or failed to express it;

Who has left the world better than he found it,

Whether an improved poppy, a perfect poem, or a rescued soul;

Who has always looked for the best in others and given them the best he had;

Whose life was an inspiration;

Whose memory a benediction.”

-- Bessie Anderson Stanley

Do you have too much or too little patience?

Too little, I’m afraid. Patience is a constant battle for me, especially when driving. I abhor incompetence in drivers. They’re called drivers for a reason, they’re supposed to DRIVE, not text, not sightsee, not grope their significant, not drive like a turtle, and especially not like a turtle in the left lane.

What's something about yourself that you believed, but suddenly realized isn't true?

I am a studmuffin! Nope, the girls just named me that. Turns out I’m just a muffin. C'est la vie.

You may have a bucket list, but what’s on your anti-bucket list, things you are actively and consistently avoiding doing before you die?

Skydiving, base-jumping, bat-suit flying, free-climbing, etc. Basically, anything that, each time you do it, your chance of dying goes up exponentially. Oh, and getting married ever again. Not gonna happen.

"Instead of a quote, I found a thought. How about a "reverse bucket list" for a change? How about we go out and show our gratitude for being alive instead of risking our life? How about visiting an aquarium, or taking a dinner cruise, or a campfire on the beach with friends, drinks, and hot dogs? And, while you're on that beach, take your shoes off and feel the sand between your toes. Experience life, don't risk it."

-- Me

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com