Questions of Intuition, Value, and Losing

“Sleep is like a cat: It only comes to you if you ignore it. I drank more and continued my mantra. 'Stop thinking', swig, 'empty your head', swig, 'now, seriously empty your head'.”

-- Gillian Flynn

What does “ruffling few feathers” mean?

I believe the term is “ruffling a few feathers,” and it’s akin to “getting their hackles up.” It means you’re about to upset, alarm, or anger one or more people by doing something they probably won’t like.

What kinds of things hold their value over time?

Everything gains and loses over time, no matter how good it is. Good friends and loving family probably hold their value the best.

What are the things you value the most in someone?

Honesty, loyalty, perseverance, and stoicism.

“God sees us with the eyes of a Father. He sees our defects, errors, and blemishes. But He also sees our value. What did Jesus know that enabled Him to do what He did? Here’s part of the answer: He knew the value of people. He knew that each human being is a treasure. And because He did, people were not a source of stress, but a source of joy.”

-- Max Lucado

How to motivate team members despite a losing streak?

“Shit happens. Let’s see if we can make it happen to somebody else, for a change.” Humor is always a good motivator. Never take the game too seriously because, well, it is just a game.

Is it possible to start putting life first?

Always put life first. Take care of yourself, first, then take care of everything else. We tend to get our priorities all mucked up. When this happens, it’s good to take a moment to reconsider the order, make appropriate changes, then move forward with renewed happiness.

Have you ever known anyone who was genuinely good at everything they tried to do?

No, but I’ve known people who thought they were. It was much easier for everyone to help the individual embrace humility.

“We can’t all be good at everything. This is partly the logic behind having a team in the first place, so each role can be filled with the person best suited for that role and together, every job and every strength is covered.”

-- Simon Sinek

Do hermits live better lives than everyone else in spite of struggling worse even in the wilderness?

There seems to be an assumption they actually “struggle worse in the wilderness” than they do with society. The entire point of being a hermit is to live apart from society because you prefer solitude. But, a job is a job. Gardening, hunting, fishing, anything you do to survive is simply another job, a necessary struggle. Once you’re familiar with it the job becomes just another day in the life.

Who or which types of people, according to you, deserve the benefit of the doubt in a situation where it boils down to benefit of the doubt? Why do you sometimes choose not to give it to them?

When the facts don’t bear out their guilt or innocence. When the person has a history of honesty and admitting to an error. I always give the benefit of the doubt, until I delve deeper into the situation for the facts.

What would you say to someone that says he's a victim of life to justify that he's living a life that brings him nothing? For example, someone that stays in an unhealthy relationship or in a bad job. Someone that can change his own life, but doesn't.

“You’re a glutton for punishment.” This person has a better choice to make but, instead, chooses to wallow in a pool of self-pity and will drag you down with them if you’re not aware of it. They justify. They’re very good at justifying why they’re miserable, or why you should also be miserable, and it never seems to be their fault, even though it is. I’ve found these people, most often, hanging out at the League of the Perpetually Offended, who also find it difficult to deal with reality.

“Today is a new day. Don't let your history interfere with your destiny! Let today be the day you stop being a victim of your circumstances and start taking action towards the life you want. You have the power and the time to shape your life. Break free from the poisonous victim mentality and embrace the truth of your greatness. You were not meant for a mundane or mediocre life!”

-- Steve Maraboli

What is the central purpose of most meetings?

Interpersonal information transmittal and gathering, usually from the top down.

What are your thoughts on the adage, "Do not do unto others what you do not want others to do unto you"?

Sage advice. Never treat others worse than you, yourself, would want to be treated. Always operate from a position of tolerance, understanding, honesty, and firm even-handedness. It is with this philosophy you can turn to them and honestly state, “I’ve always been even-handed, honest, and tolerant with you, and here you stab me in the back. I am deeply disappointed.”

How can I use my intuition?

Well, the definition of “intuition” is “the ability to understand something immediately, without the need for conscious reasoning.” My intuition tells me, the fact you ask this question would seem to evidence a lack of what you want to use. I’d wait until you get some before you intuitively use it.

“When you reach the end of what you should know, you will be at the beginning of what you should sense.”

-- Kahlil Gibrán

What is the name of the fallacy where people assume that complex ideas are automatically better?

The assumption that “complex ideas are automatically better” is a false or mistaken idea and, therefore, wrong. I’m not familiar with any other name for this, other than a “fallacy.” If it weren’t more times wrong than right, we wouldn’t have coined the KISS phrase of Keep It Simple Stupid. However, I abhor calling people “stupid” as a judgment. I think the phrase would be better said, “Keep It Stupid-Simple.”

What does it mean to be a “3-time loser “?

It means you find it very difficult to make good choices in life. You’ve already “lost” three times, when are you going to learn to think before you act? I’m divorced, so many would say I’m a “one-time” loser, and I would agree, insofar as they never met her. This was a situation where my loss turned out to be my serious win. So, I made a vow to never marry again. In doing so, I mitigated the possibility of me losing two more times in marriage, since I seem to have made better choices concerning other aspects of my life.

Why do I hate my face when I talk in a mirror?

Why do you continue to talk in a mirror if you hate your face when you do it? For that matter, why are you talking to yourself in the first place? 

Someone once wrote, “My father used to say; the first sign of madness was talking to yourself, the second sign of madness was replying to your conversation, and the third sign.... hairy palms.”  I don’t know about the “hairy palms” thing, but replying when you talk to yourself seems to be more concerning. I do it, but I’m a self-admitted hypocrite, so do as I say, not as I do. Does this mean madness is sitting in? Well, I’m going on 68 years of age, so I hope not.

But, I don't talk to myself in a mirror, at least not that often, and if I do I try not to miss the opportunity to chew myself out for doing it.  What?

“Talking to oneself is a recognized means to learn, in fact, self-speak may be the seed concept behind human consciousness. Private conversation that we hold with ourselves might represent the preeminent means to provoke the speaker into thinking (a form of cognitive auto-stimulation), modify behavior, and perhaps even amend the functional architecture of the plastic human brain. Writing out our private talks with oneself enables a person to “see” what they think, a process that invites reflection, ongoing thoughtful discourse with the self, and refinement of our thinking patterns and beliefs. Internal sotto voice conversations with our private-self provide several advantages, but most people find it difficult to maintain self-speak for an extended period. Internal dialogue must compete with external distractions. Writing allows a person to resume a personal dialogue where they left off before interrupted by outside stimuli. A written disquisition also provides a permanent record that a person can examine, amend, supplement, update, or reject.”

 -- Kilroy J. Oldster

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com