Questioning Judgment and Choices

 

Who's more important to meet before committing to a new relationship, their family or friends?

Unless you’re considering having a relationship with their family or their friends, this is a non-consideration. You’ll meet them in due time.

Do you often look behind you, or don't you think it's necessary?

After almost 23 years in the military, you grow eyes in the back of your head. It isn’t necessary for me unless I’m in an area where I don’t feel comfortable. Sit in the back of the cafe, back to the wall, and know your exit points, or… sit with your back to the door, drum your fingers on the tabletop, and pretend you’re comfortable until there’s a loud noise and you launch out of your seat or dive under the table. I prefer my back to the wall... and a metal butter knife within reach.

What's a real-life example of karma?

Hold the car door for an older woman at a restaurant, and somebody buys you a beer at the bar, sometime later, thanking you for your military service. Good karma.  If you're looking for bad karma, be an asshole.

“Karma comes after everyone eventually. You can't get away with screwing people over your whole life, I don't care who you are. What goes around comes around. That's how it works. Sooner or later the universe will serve you the revenge that you deserve.”

-- Jessica Brody

After your retirement, did you miss going into an office or to work every day?

I’ve retired three times. Never had enough time to miss the office. After the third time, I retired to Mexico and never looked back. Now I’m on the Gulf Coast waking up in paradise every morning. Nope, not a bit.

Does knowledge corrupt people or can it?

Anything can corrupt people, it is a choice. Better to approach life with a good set of morally ethical values and stand by them. People respect that more than corruption.

Am I ugly, nobody looks at me anymore?

Personally, I’d like it better if you smiled. It doesn’t matter what you look like, it matters how outgoing your personality is. Smile! Strive to be happy always, and the world will smile with you!

Author comment:  Without the ‘looks don’t matter’ nonsense, am I ugly?

My reply:  Smile more. Oh, and it’s only nonsense for shallow people who love to judge others. Smile more, and lose the attitude, you’re fine.

Reader comment: Shallow people only try to belittle what beauty is by denying its absolute existence. By saying false moralizing nonsense.

My reply: Tell him he’s ugly, then. Personally, I don’t see it… but go ahead. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.  If you'd come into the deep end you'd probably see this.  Oh, and nothing is absolute, not even a vacuum, and your two sentences should be combined. Just saying. 

Reader reply: Guy didnt upload a picture, and i dont care how he looks like. What I care about are evil philosophies that try to condescendingly belittles what beauty is. And beauty is absolute.

My reply: Your opinion and you're free to "type" them, even though you didn't use the link to see his picture.

Note to my readers: Concerning the question, above.  At this point, it's obvious to me that I'm dealing with a member of the League of the Perpetually Offended. He doesn't want discussion as much as he's looking for an argument.  He would rather crush this poor soul than see past judging his looks which he admits he didn't see.  If he has you looking in a mirror, don't. He is wrong on so many levels, as they usually are. Unlike this person, I will leave condesindingly belittleing you, to him.  Again, this is what they do.  You are all beautiful in your own special way, I don't care what anybody says and neither should you. On a side-note... His typing leaves much to be desired, but this may be for many reasons which may differ from my own opinion which I will keep to myself.

“More smiling, less worrying. More compassion, less judgment. More blessed, less stressed. More love, less hate.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

How do I stop the cycle of those who “want” me always getting me? I always remember being this way. A coach wanted me to play for him, so I did. A former boss wanted me to work for them again, so I did.

Stop saying yes. If they want you sexually, do you say yes?

What is the best argument in favor of business when someone seeks your opinion between a job or business?

Need, affordability, and knowledge. You can’t have one without the other two. There should be a need. You should be able to afford the “startup” or you’ve got one foot in the grave already. And you really need to be knowledgeable on all aspects of the business. My advice is to go to work for the business you’d like to start. Make sure of the need for more, earn the money to pay for a year or two of famine, and learn all you can about it. If it doesn’t work out, you always have a job you’re trained in to fall back on.

Should I enlist straight out of high school or work on a ranch for a year or two?

Having served almost 23 years, if you get an early start (and they haven’t changed the rules) let’s say at 18, a 20-year commitment puts you with retirement at 38. Even if you do 30-years, that puts you at only 48, and yet more retirement pay. At 48 you can start a new career, get a second retirement check, and still retire at 68 with a third check from Social Security. Something to think about before you blow a couple of years on a ranch, and maybe injure yourself so you’re ineligible to join.

“Then there was the war, and I married it because there was nothing else when I reached the age of falling in love.”

-- Guy Sajer

For someone, 24 years old who has wasted the past seven years, was this an irrevocable mistake? What opportunities and scenarios have I missed out on forever?

You can still go to college, have a 20 year or 30-year career, marry and have kids, join the military, etc., etc. Luckily, the seven years you blew off were early on and there’s plenty of life yet to make it right. But, it’s your choice.

What kind of changes have you made to your wardrobe now that you are retired?

I wear my Oxford long-sleeved shirts with jeans, instead of slacks. Looks a bit more country. I’m thinking about paring down my sportcoats to a light and a dark for the seasons, as well as my numerous slacks. I keep having to buy new t-shirts because I keep forgetting to wear an apron when I cook, but I am getting better at putting it on. I stopped buying expensive tennis shoes. I buy the $10-$20 ones at Walmart and when I blow them out, which I do, I go buy another couple of pairs (they rarely have my size in stock, so I double up). 

When do you give up on finding love?

Never! I met my girlfriend at 47, after a 20-year marriage that went south. I thought I was not good material at that age, but we’ve been together for about 20 years, and I still find myself falling into lust, I just can’t touch. Never give up! There is someone out there for everyone.  You just have to keep looking.

“The worst thing one can do is not to try, to be aware of what one wants and not give in to it, to spend years in silent hurt wondering if something could have materialized - never knowing.”

-- Jim Rohn

What skills are necessary when making a decision?

For me, it’s always been critical thinking, objectivity, communication skills, and the ability to find the courage if, for some reason, my subjectivity kicks in. 

What does someone do if they don't know who they are?

Look in their wallet. There should be some form of I.D. in there, and probably an address.  Oh, wait, is this another trick question?

I want to make a lot of money and then tell people that money is not everything. Does that make a bad person?

It’s so not wrong to make a lot of money, it’s what you do with it that can be judged. Selflessness is always a good thing, and remember that the money you make isn’t everything. You may lose it and have to make it back, again. Always remember to be selfless, humble, and happy, wealthy or not.

“Our entire life we chase the wrong things because we think having more money and buying more stuff will make us more happy. But it doesn't. You know why a billionaire has 100 Ferraris? Because 99 weren't enough.”

-- Oliver Markus Malloy

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com