Questioning the Future

 

“The future depends on what you do today.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

What is the psychological importance of venting to others?

It would be more important to the person venting than to the poor sods they’re vent onto. I don’t think people, for the most part, want to be brought down by someone’s real, or imagined, drama. Psychologically, it allows the venting person to relieve the pressure of stress but, by doing so, are they creating stress for someone else? Better to bury your head in a pillow and scream. Take a hot shower and vent to the bar of soap. Vent to the dog. But, if at all possible, leave the rest of us out of it. Just saying.

Reader comment:  I disagree somewhat.  I agree that there would be a time and place and perhaps a type of person venting would not be appropriate for.  However, I think certain relationships such as family and closer friends do allow for a safe space for venting, especially with the person knowing they can also vent to you about their problems in return.

Plus, what is ‘venting’ to another person is simply honestly discussing a matter for another. Some people have an extremely low patience to listen to other people’s problems and will immediately label any mention of those problems as ‘venting’.

My reply:  It’s just an opinion. But, I think there is a not-so-fine-line between venting and discussing.

How can I make up for my mistake?

You know you made a mistake, so you obviously know what you did wrong. Make it right. If you don’t know how to make it right, either ask the person you wronged or ask someone knowledgeable about what you were trying to do to give you advice for correcting your mistake.

In the end, what is done, is done. It is in the past. You can learn from your mistake and try to correct it, or if you unintentionally wronged someone, apologize for what you did and explain why it happened. Failure is how we really learn, so don’t fear it. If you can’t make up for it, pick yourself up and move forward.

The past is past, the present is here, and the future is at hand. Learn from past mistakes in order to make better choices in the present, so you can ensure better future consequences.

How true is it that "all people say they are going to change the world but never do"?

Not true. Most people do this, but not all people.

“They were all brilliant. They wrote books and painted pictures, and if they ever stopped talking, which I was sure they would never do, they planned to change the world.”

-- Gloria Whelan

What is the single, most important thing you can change to ensure a longer and healthier life?

Stress. Strive to be happy always. The best way to conquer stress is through diet, exercise, meditation, and happiness. The best way to be happy is to remove all drama and debt from your life.

How can the work of two managers be hindered when they have to work together with the same team?

Lack of tolerance, good communication, and teamwork skills. If they can’t work on the same team, how did they earn the title of manager?

What are the consequences of going on vacation and leaving the water running for a week?

An extremely expensive water bill.

I stopped showering ever since I realized water causes people to drown. I cannot risk being so close to something that can murder me. Do you let killers into your house? Oh, but you let a murderer come out of your own faucet. Hypocrite.

-- Thom Yorke

If work colleagues, that make decisions on company projects, are having an affair, should it be reported? One is married.

Most companies have rules against employee fraternization specifically because of this, especially if one is married. For one thing, it shows a lack of morally ethical integrity and good decision-making, so why are they making decisions on company projects? This should be concerning for management.

If you could go back to your wedding and change one thing, which one could it be?

"I do." 

At what point in your life do you start downsizing, discarding, and simplifying compared to ambitiously accumulating?

Either when you’re in debt up to your eyeballs, or when you realize happiness is not predicated on how much crap, or debt, you accumulate.

“Much of what we acquire in life isn’t worth dragging to the next leg of our journey. Travel light. You will be better equipped to travel far.”

-- Gina Greenlee

Why do you want to do Mixed-Method? You have to justify your choice.

I have no idea what this is, but, it seems to me that using a mix of methods would validate an outcome. If something is “fact” then it shouldn’t matter what method you use to validate it, as the outcome will always be the same.

If I talk to a husband about his marriage problems, I will get a story. If I, then, talk to the wife, I may get a different story. My conclusion is that both may be wrong, both may be right, or one or both may be lying. Either way, by talking to both, mixing methods, I arrive at a conclusion that may be different than if I only talked to one or the other.

Why is regret more powerful than gratitude?

Regret is very closely associated with a feeling of guilt, and guilt will eat at you until you make right whatever caused it… if you have a conscience. Regret is much harder to let go of.

Can you explain the concept of the future is what you make it? Do you believe it to be true?

The future, the next moment, relies heavily on the choices and decisions you make in the now, the present. If you choose to do nothing, this is your choice. In this way, the next moment is what you make of it. If you leave your house for a walk and get hit by a car, it was your choice to take a walk. Yes, the car hit you, but why were you there? We can shift fault, but we have to accept a portion of it for why we do what we do that puts us in good or bad consequences.

“I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.”

-- Albert Einstein

Which means 97% of the people who gave up are employed by the 3% who never did?

What means? The question seems to be referring back to some statement that isn’t being shown. I can’t answer the truth or fallacy without seeing the question in context with the statement. Having said this, I never gave up, I simply went to work. Giving up presupposes you ever started. If I was allowed to continue my psychology degree instead of being drafted into the military, I’d probably still be working for some hospital. As it turned out, the military put me on another career path with Intelligence, which was so much more interesting.

Is it more moral to hide it and compliment it even though you don't like it, or to be honest without worrying about the other person getting upset? Is it moral to sacrifice yourself and lie for someone else?

If you lie, you have already violated good moral conduct. You should never lie for someone else and they, by reason of good ethical conduct, should never ask or expect you to lie for them or to them.

If something a person has cooked for a party is way too salty, they need to know this before letting people taste it or they will know you lied to them and left them hanging with salty food and bad critiques. They will never ask you for your opinion again since you can’t be relied upon to give an honest appraisal. 

Do you think that suicide is always a permanent solution to a temporary problem? Aren't there some things in a person’s life that will never change?

Suicide is never a solution. It might be an admission of weakness, but certainly no solution. And, as a person of faith, permanency is also in question. Is this “solution” permanent, or do you find yourself repeating your suicide over and over and over again until you make a better choice? Atheists might say suicide is permanent but, again, as a person of spiritual faith, I’d like to think there is more to our existence, pad my bet, and hope to live again. We just don’t know. There is no proof, either way.

“There comes a time when you look into the mirror and you realize that what you see is all that you will ever be. And then you accept it. Or you kill yourself. Or you stop looking in mirrors.”

-- J. Michael Straczynski

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com