Questioning Lies, Forgiveness, Karma, Honesty, and Love

"We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves."

-- Uuganbayar

Why do we lie to ourselves?

We have a problem facing the blatant truth. 

What advice can you give to someone who is judging and criticizing others in the group and telling them that they are writing bad English?

If the group is writing “bad” English, the critique sounds justified. It sounds like people are not making use of spell and grammar checks. The checks are there, free, and very easy to use. To not use them would be lazy. Again, the critique seems justified. However, they don’t need to beat the subject to death. Mention it and move on. Nobody likes a pain in the butt.

Why do some people have no respect for other people's boundaries? One person I knew called them restrictions & that I was ‘intolerant’ of other people's quirks, which isn’t true. This person constantly interrupts me.

This person is probably a liberal idiot with no respect. Sounds like a member of the League of the Perpetually Offended.

How am I supposed to trust myself and others when he has taken all that away?

Which idiot are we discussing? 

What's wrong in defining someone by what he owns? By what must he be defined?

I’m worth quite a bit of money, yet I live off my military retirement. If you were to define me by what I own, not knowing me, you’d probably be out in left field. Define me by knowing me.

What is a saying that always makes you smile?

Try this:

“It is what it is until it isn’t, and, then, it is what it is again.”

-- F.A. Villari

I don't know what to do. Should I forgive them completely? Is there something I should say?

Try saying, “I forgive you.” Smile and walk away. Forgiveness infuriates the enemy. In the words of Mahatma Gandhi, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”

How can a person tell if he is the reason his partner cheats or leaves him?

Ask the partner.

Why do people say "failure is not an option"?

Failure is never an “option,” but it happens all the time. Failure, when it happens, is life presenting us with an opportunity to learn, try again, and again until we attain the goal and excel. We all fail, at one point or another. It’s about what you do with the failure, not that you fail.

What do winners do that losers don't?

They persevere in the face of failure.

 What is the standard of greatness?

There is no true standard for greatness. It depends on who you believe to be great. My mother was great, by my standard. Ronald Reagan was great, by another standard. And, Thomas A. Edison was great by, yet, another standard. What is your standard for greatness?

What do people think about the proverb, 'Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun?' How true is this?

Noël Coward wrote this, so reading the complete offering might give us some insight:

"In tropical climes there are certain times of day
When all the citizens retire
To take their clothes off and perspire
It's one of those rules the greatest fools obey
Because the sun is far too sultry
And one must avoid its ultry-violet ray

The natives grieve when the white men leave their huts
Because they're obviously, definitely nuts!

Mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun
The Japanese don't care to
The Chinese wouldn't dare to
Hindus and Argentines sleep firmly from twelve 'til one
But Englishmen detest a siesta

In the Philippines they have lovely screens
To protect you from the glare
In the Malay States there are hats like plates
Which the Britishers won't wear
At twelve noon the natives swoon
And no further work is done
But mad dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun

It's such a surprise
For the Eastern eyes to see
That though the English are effete
They're quite impervious to heat
When the white man rides
Every native hides in glee
Because the simple creatures hope he will impale his sola topee
On a tree"

Member of the League of the Perpetually Offended (the Author):  Before commenting and presuming that you know ‘better’ than I, you should have done a modicum of research. The proverb PREDATES the song! I note that you have not in actual fact answered my question. 

My reply: "Before commenting and presuming that you know ‘better’ than I, you should have done a modicum of research." What Rudyard Kipling wrote is not what you asked about. Pay attention. You asked about the lyrics of Noël Coward’s song. If you ask questions for the express purpose of chewing someone's ass for answering, it might pay for you to know what you're talking about. Just saying. 

What do you say to a girl who is interested in someone else?

“When you find you've made a mistake, look me up.”

Is revenge necessary to heal from the damage they caused you, or is it just going to make it worse?

Two wrongs don’t make a right, and you really don’t want karma coming after you for some silly revenge you thought was necessary to make it right. 

Can trusting too easily be a problem?

Yes. It is a great way to constantly get burned.

Is it possible for someone to understand every paradox in philosophy just from reading about them?

That really depends on how smart you are. It will require you to wrap your mind around a written explanation. The reason we have teachers and professors is that the written word can confuse us. Take the Bible, as an example. God gave us everything we needed in our hearts and in our minds because we were too stupid to read simple laws without interpreting them. So, what did we do? We wrote a Bible, and it is still being interpreted. We never learn.

How do I respond when a boy tells me he likes me?

“I like you, too.” I’ve liked many girls and women in my life, but I’ve only loved a few.

How can you tell if someone is uninformed about a topic without coming across as arrogant?

Ask them pointed questions about the topic. You don’t have to come across as arrogant to ask questions. You do this by not answering the questions you ask, simply because they can’t, or they are wrong.

“Declare your jihad on thirteen enemies you cannot see -egoism, arrogance, conceit, selfishness, greed, lust, intolerance, anger, lying, cheating, gossiping, and slandering. If you can master and destroy them, then you will be ready to fight the enemy you can see.”

-- Al-Ghazzali

What are some examples of ways to show your ignorance politely?

“I learn something every day. Sometimes, twice.”

Why does it feel awkward when we don't know the answer to a question someone has asked us?

People expect me to know everything, but there is no such thing as “perfect” especially when it comes to knowledge. I don’t know everything, and I’m the first to admit it when I’m asked a question for which I have no answer. I can throw believable "bullshit" out there, but being respected for being honest is better than feeling awkward.

How do you react when people ignore you?

Thank God.

 What is the most intelligent answer to "Where did everything come from?"?

The “Big Bang” comes to mind. Everything began with it, so without it, we would have nothing, including us.  Probably not the most intelligent answer, but it is the most basic.

Can people with depression have negative thoughts that they can't control?

I’m not sure, but, doesn’t that kind of define depression?

What should you say if your ex-boyfriend wants to start over and says he is sorry for what he did?

He bolted once. How gullible do you feel?

“Youth is easily deceived because it is quick to hope.”

-- Aristotle

What role does passion play in your motivation?

If I have no passion, I have little motivation. I must be passionate about what I’m doing or I’m just going through the motions.

What are some effective ways to motivate a team or group of people?

Good communication and feedback. Define the goal. Assign members of the team per their strengths. Keep them all involved in the pursuit of the goal. When the goal is attained, play hard.

What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

Fishing a mountain stream.

How can you respond when your partner uses broad statements such as, “You never treat me with respect.”?

That’s not broad. It’s pretty specific. I’d try to treat them with more respect. You tend to get what you give, and your partner is feeling disrespected.

I’m very insecure about my size. Is 5.7 small?

What are you measuring, length or height?

How can Christians deal with atheists who disagree with them?

Faith is a personal emotion. Faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Atheists and theists have faith that they are right and, yet, neither has any proof. For the theist, however, there is hope for something more. To argue without proof is erecting a thought with no foundation. Better not to argue.

“Absence of proof is not proof of absence.”

-- Michael Crichton

What are your thoughts on "Love Is a Crazy Thing"?

If it weren’t, it would be boring.

How do you keep up with friendships that don’t serve you?

That would be selfish. My friendships don’t necessarily “serve” me. Friendship is a selfless relationship without any expectations. If you rely on anyone but yourself, you are open to disappointment. It is much better if you don’t “expect” anything from friendship, except friendship.

What is the term for a husband who believes he is superior to his wife?

A legend in his own mind.

Someone told me once, ''It's okay to give up sometimes, but just don't forget to start where you left off.'' Do you have any thoughts on that statement?

Perseverance. It is okay to give up, but it isn’t okay to quit. When you come back to the problem, don’t forget where you left off, or you’ll have to start at the beginning again. 

Do people who are argumentative usually think they are right?

That, or they are wrong and refuse to admit they are in denial.

What made men lose their faith in life?

Who came up with this line of bullshit? Faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof. Faith is the basis for hope. If you have lost faith, you have lost hope, and I sure haven’t lost my faith in hope. That would probably make me a member of the League of the Perpetually Offended. I’m not sure I could handle that. I’d have to kick my own ass.

“Without hope, we fail to exist.”

-- Lailah Gifty Akita 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions, and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I have come to believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com