Communication (Updated from 6/29/2014)

"The more elaborate our means of communication, the less we communicate."

-- Jason Priestley

 

Communication is a confusing mistress.  Written communication is the worst.  We used to be taught how to write, so people understood what we were trying to say.  Of course, this quality of writing usually took the voluminous pages of Leo Tolstoy's "War and Peace" to accomplish, unless you were a gifted communicator, of which few of us really were.  Social networking sites are worse yet, and I truly believe they are tools of evil.  Business networking sites are a little better.  But, even a religious and spiritual networking site can fall prey to all of the usual ills - sex, politics, lies, and "predatory" members.  Want to destroy a friendship or a marriage?  Get onto a social networking site, especially one that lets you post volumes of photos.  Sooner, or later, something will show up that shouldn't. 

"The most important thing in communication is hearing what is said."

-- Peter Drucker

Telephonic, or verbal, communication was better than written, by leaps and bounds, but misunderstanding still arose when the listener wasn't able to see facial expressions.  Jokes became insults, and apologies became hollow gestures to placate someone that hopefully would forget the incident before you saw them next.  Let's not forget the camera application that still allows those immediate photos of the wife in bed with the best friend to be put on the internet, before the friend can even put his pants back on, causing immediate destruction of life as we know it, and all for the sake of "better" living through communication.  Really?

"The difference between the right word and the almost right word is the difference between lightning and a lightning bug."

-- Mark Twain

Remember, when we used to get together for lunch, drinks, or for a walk in the park, and discuss life face-to-face?  There was an immediate ability to see the misunderstanding and clarify it.  There was an ability to offer physical contact when you saw that someone was emotionally fragile and needed a hug.  You could tell when someone made a faux pas, an error in judgment, misspoke, or was seriously embarrassed over something they had just said.  There was very little room for miscommunication that could not be corrected on the spot.

"Any problem, big or small, within a family, always seems to start with bad communication.  Someone isn't listening."

-- Emma Thompson

There is nothing better than verbal communication, except for "face-to-face" verbal communication.  One of the difficulties in writing a blog is getting your point across, without pissing someone off because they misunderstood your point, what you were trying to put across.  They took it personally.  You don't have to use their name, just using an incident, as an example, can light this fuse.  Once the "supposed" damage had occurred, what is to be done about it?  Human nature would evidence that even an apology would fall on deaf ears, at this point.  Trying to explain, or reason the comment, would either make the victim feel diminished or dig you in deeper than you were.  For the most part, this is a no-win situation.

"Electric communication will never be a substitute for the face of someone who with their soul encourages another person to be brave and true."

-- Charles Dickens

A  bad outcome should be mitigated when possible if the offended individual is a dear friend or family member.  At least, that's what one would hope, but it's not always the case.  Even good friends, that you would expect more of, can be deeply seeded in their own conviction that they expected more of you, and they would probably be right.  But, one should consider everyone's feelings before posting or writing something for others to ponder.  When I consider that my blog exists to incite controversy, this seems like a self-defeating concept.  I might as well not write if I have to worry about everyone's feelings.  So, the other option is to let the post hang out there like a neon flag and just deal with the fallout, hoping against hope that at least your friends and family will understand what you are trying to accomplish.  

Good luck with that.

Note:  In a perfect world, I would leave you to ponder something perfect.  Don't we all wish this were true?  What we are should speak volumes when one is considering what we say.  Speakers are supposed to consider their audience when writing a presentation.  I think the audience should show as much consideration as the speaker.  As an example, if the speaker is a conservative and you hear a liberal comment, before jumping to the conclusion that he is a liberal, try thinking that perhaps you don't know enough about him to judge. But, it's not a perfect world, so I leave you with a pipe dream from Steven Covey:

"In the last analysis, what we are, communicates far more eloquently than anything we say or do."

-- Stephen Covey

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions, and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I have come to believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com