Questioning Bullies, Change, Violence, Attraction, Dumb, and Women

 

“When introverts are in conflict with each other...it may require a map in order to follow all the silences, nonverbal cues, and passive-aggressive behaviors!”

-- Adam S. McHugh

I and my 7 best friends are weirdo introverts, but I left them and became the most popular high school student who bullied my enemies, especially the ones that bullied my 2 siblings. My 7 best friends reject me for being that bully. What should I do?

Well, I was a small person in high school who was bullied. I finally had enough and almost beat a bully to death with a tree branch. I didn’t bully them, I just didn’t take any more crap from them. I got my ass handed to me almost daily. Being a bully is not the answer. Two wrongs rarely make it right, regardless of your popularity. Karma will catch up to you in time. What you should do, is know that you’ve proved some point and move on. Becoming what you fear is not the answer. Learning to defend yourself, if needed, and knowing that you can seriously hurt someone if needed, is about all you can do. But, you can’t let this “defensive” knowledge put you on the wrong path.

What is a good saying that is said around your parts?

"You’re like a pig staring at a wristwatch."

"Two men in a heated argument are like two jackasses braying at each other."

"Any day on this side of the dirt is a great day."

Why is it okay to do something stupid after someone else does and shows you it is stupid?

It's okay, only if you’re that stupid.  The problem is, you're proving it to everyone.

Why are intelligent and critical people expected to act as though the vast majority aren't idiots who don't care about truth?

The question answers itself. They “act” that way, not that there is any validity in it. The vast majority are idiots who don’t care about the truth. Intelligent people aren’t smart enough to “act” with any talent, and the vast majority of “smart” people understand this. The intelligent are transparent in their attempt.

What do you like on a lazy Sunday?

A folding chair, a fishing pole, a cooler of beer, and a sub sandwich.

Do you think that individuals like me: people without intellect, personality, or criteria (who take ideas from others to defend their positions and who often change their minds due to external influence) have any chance of surviving in the world?

You will survive as most people have survived, by taking other people’s ideas to defend their positions, and by being influenced into changing their minds for no other reason than to get along. Is it right? Well, most people would agree, even though they wouldn’t say it out loud. It is survival, after all.

“If you truly want to be respected by people you love, you must prove to them that you can survive without them.”

-- Michael Bassey Johnson

Why is it that the sub-assertive person is the one that has to change in order to stand up to the assertive or aggressive ones? Why does this world not think of the option that the assertive or aggressive people are, in fact, the ones that need change?

Because the “assertive” and “aggressive” people are the ones who get things done in a timely manner. Any thriving business is where they are because of these people. They bring ideas to fruition.

How do some people tolerate effort more than others?

Unlike whiners, they have learned to persevere in the face of extreme effort. 

What are your thoughts on this statement, "Sometimes liars are the most honest people of all"?

They are, but only if they admit to everyone that what they always say is bullshit. However, a liar, by definition, is not honest.

Is understanding the problem half the solution?

If you don’t understand the problem there will be no concrete solution. Think of the problem of a well-known bank becoming insolvent. The government wants to throw money at the problem to prop the bank up. The government doesn’t understand the problem. The bank is insolvent due to an ignorant board of directors, bad management, and poor investment of bank funds. Throwing money at it will be just another waste of money. The board, management, and the investment branch need to be dismissed in favor of better people who know how to turn the bank around.

Why are there ugly dog contests but not ugly people contests?

People understand what we say and they have hurt feelings. Dogs, not so much.

Why do people stare at me when I walk down the street? I dress like a punk but I've always wanted to know what goes through people's heads for them to give me dirty looks.

Dressing like a “punk” doesn’t define who you are. Unfortunately, without knowing you, how you dress defines you to those who don’t know you. Stop and talk to them. Ask them what goes through their head when they look at you. Don’t be confrontational. Show them that you are just another person on a path, learning, asking questions, and living life. They will probably understand that.

“I’m too outspoken for most people, they think you’re rude if you tell the truth. ‘Punk’ was the only time I fitted in. Just one tiny sliver of time where it was acceptable to say what you thought.”

-- Viv Albertine 

Why is it so hard to ignore a person who mocks or teases you just to get you to hit them?

Ignoring a person isn’t that hard. Ignoring the "mentally challenged" is harder. When they touch you it becomes assault. This next part needs to be said loudly for everyone to hear: They have assaulted you. You fear for your safety because they are obviously mentally challenged, and you will have to protect yourself from any harm they mean to visit upon your person. Have someone call the police and explain the situation.

This will probably put the person on notice. They are mentally challenged, however. 

Why do I have honest insecurities?

Most “dishonest" insecurities people will see through. You’ll be known by everyone as making shit up to court sympathy.

What is the correct answer to "Which child will you take"?

It is a situational answer. The best answer is as many as I can carry. As an adult, it is incumbent on us to save as many children as we can if they are in danger. A divorce is a bit more messy. And, if you’re a pedophile… oh, hell no. Any real father would stop you before you reach the door.

What is the importance of knowing about things which are not important to know?

Knowledge. We are constantly learning. What we don’t think we need today, we might need to know tomorrow. 

Do people who say they love God actually love Him?

That would make them hypocrites. There is a segment of Christianity that is deeply involved in control. I’m not so sure they have an actual “love” of God. If they did, they wouldn’t control the faithful. 

Can you explain the concept of "being" in a way that no one else understands?

Try this: 

“Reality is what it is, and what it isn’t, it isn’t.

Sometimes, what it is it isn’t, and what it isn’t, well... it is.

Other times it’s nothing, and then it isn’t anything.

But, if it’s nothing, it isn’t, and if it isn’t anything, it is.

Because acknowledging nothing gives nothing reality.

Therefore, whether it is or it isn’t, it must be,

Because even nothing that isn’t, already is.”

-- F.A. Villari

Do we really attract what we think, speak, and feel like the law of attraction states?

Yes. For the most part, opposites don’t attract each other for anything more than debate or curiosity. I think we attract those of like minds more than opposites.

Would you rather be around a humble person who loses all the time or a cocky person who sometimes wins and loses?

Thinking that “humble” people lose all the time, simply because they don’t let their ego rule their mind is so wrong. I am humble, to a fault, and I win and lose. I don’t concern myself with competition as much as I do to attain a goal. The goal I attain is to assist me along my path, not to knock someone else back. Most people are better than I am in many things, but I am more concerned with my path, not theirs.

Why do I feel compelled to reread my finished Quora answers every time someone likes or comments on them? I'm not checking for grammar/spelling.

I do the same thing. I want to know what they liked or didn’t like, and see if I agree with their critique. It is a way to keep ourselves honest and not egotistical.

When a person is humble, does that mean he doesn't talk that much and takes things very seriously?

No. By definition, A humble person is “having or showing a modest or low estimate of one's own importance.” We tend to listen more than we talk, and when we do talk we try to have something to say. We smile more than we frown because life is what it is, and we don’t like wasting our life with a frown. You will see us at a bar listening to some jackass braying, and we will simply smile and order another round. If we get into it with them, you’ll be listening to two jackasses braying at each other.

What are the implications of defining someone by what they own?

Your definition will probably be wrong. Knowing who they are, what and why they believe, and their values, will give you so much more information to assist in defining them. 

When should one agree with another person's point of view even though it differs from their own?

Only when you want to prove them wrong, other than that, never give up your freedom of opinion to someone you have no faith in.

“The man who is most aggressive in teaching tolerance is the most intolerant of all: he wants a world full of people too timid and ashamed to really disagree with anything.”

-- Criss Jami

Why do Americans like to play dumb?

It used to keep our enemies guessing. Joe Biden changed the paradigm by taking the guesswork out of the equation. Now our enemies are saber rattling. Just saying.

I met this guy recently and we fell in love immediately while he was in a relationship that was doomed to end. Now that girl won't let go and he feels guilty. I don't like this. What should I do?

Let him go. If it works itself out, you can decide, then, what you want to do.

Why do I feel uncomfortable seeing people try hard?

Do you have no concept of “trying hard” to attain a goal? For those of us who do, we give much moral support to others who are trying their best. 

Are all beliefs false by definition?

No. By definition, whether it is true, or not, is up in the air until it is proven to be one or the other.

How can you find leaders who have faced and overcome challenges similar to yours?

Yes, indeed!

Is suffering better than non-existence?

Indeed. If you “exist” then “suffering” teaches you how to continue, if you are able to learn, that is. If you have no perseverance, however, then suffering is what life will be like.

“Time is not the great teacher. Experience is. A man may live a whole life, but if he never leaves his home to experience that life, he dies knowing nothing. A mere child who has suffered and lived can be the wiser of the two.”

-- Lynsay Sands

What is the thing that women can do that men can’t?

Menstruate.

Why do Christians believe the lie that hell is for everyone who doesn't believe in Christ?

So, you’ve died and come back to life with the truth? Because, as I see it, neither side, atheists or theists, has any proof to support their beliefs. Yet, the fact that you can judge a “lie” would tell us that you have new information for support.

Is it wrong to say, "I had a car"?

Only if you’ve never had a car. In that case, you would be lying, and that is wrong.

Do people ever change their minds and stop believing in what they used to believe?

Oh, my yes! After my divorce, I changed my mind about marriage. I have been perfectly happy living in sin for the past 23 years. Marriage is all about legalities and has very little to do with the love you feel toward another person. She proved that in spades.

 Can you think of something that you have learned to accept even though you do not agree with it or believe in it?

Liberal Democrats. 

What are the benefits of believing in something? Does it make it easier to get along with others if we all believe in the same thing?

The benefit is having a belief system, otherwise, you have no belief in anything. And, if you do have belief, you also, most probably, have faith in that belief. If we all believe in the same thing, it can make it easier to get along with others, but it will be very boring if you have no differences to discuss. Knowledgeable discussion and debate are the spice of life in a robust society.

“You will never benefit from your faith in God until you step on the bridge and start walking across.”

-- Henry Cloud

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions, and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I have come to believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com