Questioning Judging, Respect, Stupid, Bliss, Leaders, and What

“Perfectionism is a self-destructive and addictive belief system that fuels this primary thought: If I look perfect, and do everything perfectly, I can avoid or minimize the painful feelings of shame, judgment, and blame.”

-- Brené Brown

Why do I always feel judged even when no one is judging?

You are your worst critic. You are judging yourself, which could be good if it isn’t taken to an extreme. I am my own worst critic. I know that I can always do better. I critique why I feel I am not as good as I think I can be. I ask the question “Why?” and find where I feel I let myself down. I learn from it so I’ll be ready for the next time.

What do you do when someone tries to prove you wrong?

“Tries” is the operative word.

Are we truly independent if we have to listen to our bosses in exchange for income?

Listening to them is being respectful. Agreeing with them, on the other hand, is sucking up… unless they are right. “Independence” is about voicing your opinion if you think they are wrong. My last boss hired me because he wanted someone that wouldn’t blow smoke up their ass if there was a possibility they were wrong. I have no filter, so I was perfect for the job.

Which way is the best way to satisfy your hunger?

Satiate my appetite.

How do you give people something to respect?

You need to find what the people will respect. Listening to their feedback, being a good communicator, giving credit where credit is due, and the like, are a few ways to give them something to respect. Respect is a two-way street. You get what you give.

What are the signs that someone was never raised or taught to take responsibility for anything?

Well, they don’t take "responsibility" for anything, especially if they are definitely wrong.

“Most people do not really want freedom, because freedom involves responsibility, and most people are frightened of responsibility.”

-- Sigmund Freud

Which is better to have, respect or loyalty?

You will find it difficult to build loyalty without respect. It takes one to have the other. If you don’t have their respect, you should watch your back.

I think that if someone is debating with an idiot, then there are two idiots. What do you think?

It is never good when two jackasses are braying at each other.

Do all people want to be white? I do.

Ignorance. You can be whatever you want to be. If someone stands in your way, find a way around them. Perseverance in the face of adversity will build character, and people will respect that. If they don’t, then you have no use for them. Find a route around them and attain your goal.

Why am I afraid to be with my friends?

Deep down inside, you probably know they are not really your friends.

What do you do when someone thinks you need them way more than they need you when it’s actually the other way around?

If I need to rely on someone else, I’m probably going to be disappointed. Better to rely on the one person who will not let you down without a fight - you.

Can two people with completely different political stands get along well with each other as friends?

Yep. I do it all the time.

“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.”

-- Elbert Hubbard

Is it possible to be stupid?

Look around. Most voters fit the bill.

Does luck or skill play a bigger role in gambling?

Skill. If you’re relying on “luck” you’ve already lost. Casinos live off people who rely on “luck” rather than skill. If you’re a gambler, know your enemy. If you’re a casino, know who you can control and, more importantly, how to control them.

Do you agree with the statement "no one's stupid"?

Oh, hell no.

Are you stupid if you lack common sense?

There is no such thing as “common sense” anymore. What we call “common sense” falls short of the definition. Strive to always offer “good” sense to people.

Is cheating on a test in class possible?

Yes.

What's worse: never making any mistakes or making the same ones repeatedly, and not even knowing it?

Never making a mistake never happens. We all make mistakes. What is worse is thinking you don’t when you do, or making the same mistakes repeatedly because you can’t seem to learn from your failures.

“Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Why do some people use ignorance as bliss?

They are ignorant.

How do you know if your best friend likes your boyfriend?

If your best friend likes your boyfriend, they may never let on, unless they constantly talk about him. Better would be to catch them doing what they shouldn’t be. That makes them both guilty, and you can disavow both of them as friends.

How would you describe a person who is unaware of their own rudeness?

Unaware of their own rudeness.

What is the general opinion of people who make the same mistake twice but think it won't happen again?

They are either very good at learning from their mistakes or are full of shit. Why did they make the same mistake twice if they were that good?

Do stupid people like Quora?

I’m not sure if trying to become smarter qualifies as stupid.

What is most important in a past relationship?

What you have learned from it. If the relationship ended, there must be a reason. It is either you or them. Those who made the mistake should be learning from it. The other person has, most likely, already learned not to get involved with people like that, ever again. But, “lust” is an insidious taskmaster.

“You didn’t grow apart because you’re evil, but because you evolved. It’s life. It’s natural. It’s ok. Keep growing!”

-- Curtis Tyrone Jones

What are some ways to protect your reputation as a leader?

Be a very good, knowledgeable, and honest leader that people respect. Beyond that, you are what you are. 

Can a boss not trust their employees and still be a good leader?

No. The fact that the boss doesn’t trust the employees and still has them on payroll is a sign of a poor leader. Unless the boss has a plan to throw them under the proverbial bus, the boss should fire them and hire employees that can be trusted. This is also what a poor leader does, but it will allow them to hire trusted employees.

Do people say “they don’t know nothin'”? If so, why?

Well, if they “don’t know nothing” then they must know something. So, it is a compliment.

What is a good response to the statement "tradition is not scripture"?

Some traditions grow out of favor. Young girls, for instance, are not all that happy with parents choosing their mates. Freedom and independence say this “tradition” needs to go away in favor of true love. But, some cultures still look at the tradition as “scripture.”

What are some things to say to your dom?

“Hey! Damn it! That really hurts. Thank you. I’ll have another.”

Are you a remarkable human being who people should be proud to know?

I am a humble person. I think most people are proud to know me since my ego won’t allow me to tout my own accomplishments over someone else.

“True humility is not thinking less of yourself; it is thinking of yourself less.”

-- Rick Warren

Did surprises, winners, and losers from the first round?

What?

How do I hire somebody for revenge to make somebody disappear (not dead, just send them back to prison)?

You don’t. Karma has enough to do without making you pay for doing something stupid. Two wrongs don’t make anything right. Let karma handle the person. You need to go find a life.

Why does my partner refuse to acknowledge when I do something right?

It’s all about them, not you.

Would I look more intelligent if I spoke of myself in the 3rd person? Rick wants to know.

No. You sound like an idiot trying to be something you’re not. Try being smart. Smart people make much more sense, and it takes less intelligence to be smart. Most intelligent people have no idea how to be smart, so this makes you a leg up on them.

Parents focus on the negative and I easily get bored around them. Is there any way to banish it?

Stop hanging around your parents and find some positive influencers.

Why is it that when people are highly aware, others then feel the need to say, "You're not perfect," or, "You think you're perfect"?

They need to do something to offset the “highly aware” person’s need to flaunt their awareness. Keep one’s awareness to one’s self, until people wonder why they didn’t say anything. So, which is it? Do you want the awareness, or do you want me to shut up? They can’t have it both ways, but when they complain about keeping awareness to one’s self, there is now an opening for discussion. 

Meditation is to be aware of every thought and of every feeling, never to say it is right or wrong, but just to watch it and move with it. In that watching, you begin to understand the whole movement of thought and feeling. And out of this awareness comes silence.

-- Jiddu Krishnamurti

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions, and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I have come to believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com