Questioning Friends, Sex, Love, and Theists

“Life is an awful, ugly place to not have a best friend.”

-- Sarah Dessen

What does it mean when a girl says she likes you but doesn't want to be friends with benefits? Would she possibly like you as more than just friends?

That would be a good bet.

Can you give an example of someone refusing to negotiate?

Volodymyr Oleksandrovych Zelenskyy refuses to negotiate with Russia after Russia invaded Ukraine. Zelenskyy wants Russia to back off and relinquish all the territory they’ve taken. You don’t negotiate with an invader when you’re beating them back.  

Can you think without speaking out loud?

I thought everybody did.

I'm afraid that success is only for people from nepotism, can I become successful like them if I don't come from a rich family and I don't know anyone?

Hitch your wagon to a rising star. Impress the star and you will go along for the ride. Attaining your goal is yours if you think ahead. Are you rich or invaluable? The rich will eventually fall, but the invaluable will have learned to survive.

What questions do I ask a cheating wife?

“Why are you cheating?” When you know, you can divorce her and be ready for wife number two.

“Cheating in a relationship is a sign of self-regulation failure. When it happens once, it is a mistake. When it happens twice, it is unfortunate. But when it happens thrice or more, it is a pattern indicating primitive, uncivilized inhuman behavior.”

-- Abhijit Naskar

Why is he sexually attracted to me out of nowhere?

He is sexually attracted to you because he must see you as attractive. Are you attractive? As for “out of nowhere” is concerned, I’m attracted to women I don’t know, all the time, because I find them attractive.

Is it possible to be too optimistic in life? If so, how would you know if you are that person?

Nope. Optimism is the way we get things done. Pessimism, not so much.

I knew a girl that I asked out once, she said no and said yes to another guy, the other guy cheated and now she’s back at me, should I let the past go?

Second fiddle. How does that sound? I think I’d be discussing this with her. Listen for when her tongue gets tied. The true story will reveal itself.

Why would a guy try to come back to a girl he said I want you after blocking her and dating another girl days later?

He’s an ass, and she should be smart enough to know it.

What do you think about the statement "No one believes in God more than an atheist"?

This is an empty argument from a theist. Atheists make it their goal in life to give theists a hard time. Theists should ignore them and pay attention to their faith. Atheists are going to believe what they want, as are theists, yet, neither side has any proof for their belief, which is why they both have faith. Faith is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.

“I'd take the awe of understanding over the awe of ignorance any day.”

-- Douglas Adams

What does it mean when a guy says you can stay the night if you want after we just had sex?

He’s in it for the sex, but if you’d like to stay… there is always tomorrow morning. 

Who feels that being alone is better than marriage?

You don’t have to be alone to not be married. I swore off marriage after my divorce, having been married for 25 years. I’ve been living happily with a significant other for another 20 years. I made a bad choice, in the woman, and in marriage.

What could it mean if your boyfriend starts talking about God and religion?

Pro or con? It makes a difference. 

What does it mean when a girl says she wants to be loved and not hurt again?

She is looking for a truly loving relationship, with good communication, friendship, caring, and true love. Truth be known, it is what we all want. What we settle for is what we find. It doesn’t always work out the way we’d like.

What does it mean when someone keeps on chasing after someone who isn't interested in them romantically anymore, even though they know they're not going to get what they want from them anymore?

They are in unhealthy denial.

“Denial is the way people handle what they cannot handle.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Is there a reason why people fall in love with the wrong person?

The feeling wasn’t mutual, or they were focused on lust, mistaking it for love, or one of them just wanted a roll in the hay. Wham, bam, thank you, ma’am.

How can you tell if a guy is interested in getting back together with his ex instead of you?

They start spending more time with the ex than with you when you should be his focus.

If I have sex with my boyfriend, will he dump me?

Not if he truly loves you. If sex is all he’s after, then “dumping” will happen, sooner or later. If you’re concerned, wait a while. If he truly loves you, he will wait until you’re ready.

What could be the reason why a girl would suddenly stop buying her boyfriend food and drinks?

She caught on that he was using her for free food and drinks. Maybe, he should think about manning up.

Why don't successful people always put their family first no matter what?

Selfishness, and a lack of true love. They worked hard to attain what they have and, it turns out, they feel family gets in the way of sustaining what they have earned. They have a choice, family or what they have worked so hard for. Selfless people would put their love first, no matter what. Selfish people, not so much.

“The wellbeing of my loved ones is more important to me than what the society thinks of me.”

-- Abhijit Naskar

Why do some religious people hate being called atheists?

Because if you’re religious you are not an atheist, you’re a theist. A baseball player would not like being called a football player, and a dog is not a cat. I’m not sure they hate being called an atheist as much as they hate the ignorance.

How do successful people meet potential partners?

The same way we all do, but with more panache.

What is the meaning of life if love and relationships are not a part of it?

Happiness. Some people are truly happy without all the drama that comes with “love” with another person.

What are the signs of being insecure and dependent in a relationship?

Being too “clingy” on the partner.

What does it mean when someone loves you for who you are and not what they want from you?

They are exercising their selflessness. Selflessness brings out the absolute best in people, especially in loving relationships.

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can't help them, at least don't hurt them.”

-- Dalai Lama XIV

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After over twenty years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center. 

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com