Questioning Idealist, Marriage, Atheism, Bullies, and Egos

“Sometimes your belief system is really your fears attached to rules.”

-- Shannon L. Alder

Why is passionate idealism considered pathological/bad? Doesn't it give goals, motivations, and hopes?

“Passionate” idealism leaves no room for compromise. People that aren’t “passionate” are viewed as wrong. As an example, “Pro-Choice” is passionate idealism when it is taken to the moment of birth. In the murder of innocence, it seems there is no compromise.

Is it okay to bring politics into everything?

No. It creates a questionable atmosphere and alienates friends.

Someone fought me and I didn’t fight back or defend myself. Now they think they could beat me up and now I’m mad. What should I do?

Fight back and defend yourself. Bullies will never relent until they are beaten almost to death. At that moment of decision, you will let them live. They will learn a lesson, not soon forgotten, that their lives were spared… by you.

How can we ensure that politicians' family members are held accountable for their actions?

The law needs to be accountable. No one is above it.

My son doesn’t want to go into the military. He will be the only person in the family who hasn’t served. How do I make him go?

You don’t. If he is a patriot, he may serve as a first responder. He may simply support our troops. Or, he may decide that life is more important than country. The point is, you can’t make him serve. Service to the country is a deeply personal choice where you find the courage to give your all. The possibility of dying is asking a lot from any citizen.

“Patriotism means to stand by the country. It does not mean to stand by the president or any other public official, save exactly to the degree in which he himself stands by the country. It is patriotic to support him insofar as he efficiently serves the country. It is unpatriotic not to oppose him to the exact extent that by inefficiency or otherwise he fails in his duty to stand by the country. In either event, it is unpatriotic not to tell the truth, whether about the president or anyone else.”

-- Theodore Roosevelt

I don't want to get married because 98% of people cheat. What hurts a lot, is I do have the desire to have a family in the future but I just can't risk getting my hurt destroyed. Am I okay?

Yes, you're fine. People give up spirituality because it doesn’t let them sin. If you look in morally righteous places, you might have a better shot at true love. Good communication, friendship, compatibility, trust, and love, are hard commodities to come by in all people, but they’re out there. It might take some time to find them.

Aside from moronic and pathetic, what would you call a person who enjoys being around another person who treats them like shit?

A victim, or subservient.

At what age can your parents leave the house without you?

When you show real responsibility to take care of yourself. It was easier without the scourge of social media tempting evil upon our children.

What does a self-realized person not want?

Self-realization has little to do with want. You may find you want everything or nothing. You might be happy with just filling your needs. What you realize about yourself can be significantly different for each person.

How do you respect someone's decision to never want marriage and kids?

It isn’t for everybody. I can respect their choice if they truly don’t want to get involved with it.

"You own your life and no one can dictate how you'll live it, whatever decision you made, those who understand will respect it no matter what."

-- Blaze Olamiday

What are some things an atheist can't do?

Move freely forward into the next life the omnipotent power in the universe has created.

How does reality challenge our understanding of reality itself?

It depends on how open your mind is to reality. Do Unidentified Flying Objects challenge our understanding of other intelligent life forms in the universe? Do paranormal investigations challenge our understanding of life after death and cryptic lifeforms as separate species here on Earth? Our reality is challenged every time we ask questions about our reality. Is it real, or is it Memorex?

Why does My boyfriend think I’m stupid and lies to me?

Why is he still your boyfriend?

Why do atheists make my life so hard?

It is what they do. Most of them are members of the League of the Perpetually Offended. They wouldn’t make your life so hard if you simply avoid them. I prefer not to even answer questions they pose because it’s usually a baited hook they use so they can reel you in and be offended by you. 

Can you be a good doctor if you are not religious?

You can be a great doctor if you aren’t religious. Religion has little to do with accumulating knowledge and expertise.

“To choose not to be part of a team or religion does not make me non-religious; for my religion is Truth and I am very much in love with God. I do not need to align myself with a specific messenger if I already understand God’s message. And the way I think is not considered ‘New Age’, since common sense is not new. So long as you act and speak with love and truth in you, and are good to your fellow man — in that you treat everybody as you would want yourself to be treated, your heart will stand by God regardless of the label you have assigned to your mind.”

-- Suzy Kassem

Do you have that one kid who acts like a bully but actually has family issues?

Most bullies have family issues that have caused them to become who they are. Lack of good solid parenting is not the least.

How can we curb our four-year-old son's behavior of saying "shut up" a lot, while still respecting his feelings?

“Spare the rod and spoil the child” comes to mind.

At what age do children start arguing with their parents and winning?

It depends on how young they can learn to use incontrovertible facts with cogent arguments to support them.

What should you do if your child says, “I don't like you” or “You are not my parent”?

Show them the door. Nothing you bought to clothe them goes with them. It belongs to you. You are the parent.

“You may not like me, but I love you. This is why I want you to learn. But, if you don’t like me, and I’m not your parent, you have my permission to go. I will welcome you back with loving arms when you understand.”

Open the door and invite their naked ass to leave. My dad did this and it scared the shit out of me.  Instant understanding.  I never broached the subject again.

What are some of the most overused and cliche arguments for atheism?

There are no incontrovertible arguments for atheists or theists. Neither one has any solid proof to back up faith in their belief. Both sides need to shut the hell up and go about their business.

"When you pray, you are not to be like the hypocrites; for they love to stand and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners so that they may be seen by men. Truly I say to you, they have their reward in full. But you, when you pray, go into your inner room, close your door and pray to your Father who is in secret, and your Father who sees what is done in secret will reward you."

-- Matthew 6:5-6

Do you have any advice on how to deal with people who have big egos and refuse to see any flaws in themselves?

Don’t hang around them. If everyone shuns them, they might get a clue.

What should people say when a child asks them how they became successful in life?

“Knowledge, hard work, and perseverance in the face of failure.” Life presents us with opportunities to learn. We can learn to be successful, or not. It is our life, and we should make the most of it, or not.

What do you do when you can't get out of a place you don't fit in?

If you can’t change your circumstances, try changing your attitude. 

What does it mean if your girlfriend asks you what she can improve on?

She values your opinion. But be careful. She values your opinion, but your honest opinion can get you in trouble with someone you care about. If I’m with her, she must be what I want to be with. If she could improve, it won’t come out of my mouth. “For me, you are perfect, but you might want to ask your girlfriends. They would know better than me.”

What does it mean when your partner says "I'm not going to get into an argument" and then proceeds to argue about everything?

They’re hypocritical. You have a hypocrite as a partner.  Not really a good thing.

“It's discouraging to think how many people are shocked by honesty and how few by deceit.”

-- Noël Coward

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After over twenty years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center. 

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com