Questioning Dogs, Mothers, Cults, Trust, English, Honor, and Advice

“A dog reflects the family life. Whoever saw a frisky dog in a gloomy family, or a sad dog in a happy one? Snarling people have snarling dogs, dangerous people have dangerous ones.”

-- Arthur Conan Doyle

If a dog is charging at you, and you run toward it, what would be the dog's reaction?

The dog had better hope we don’t have contact. I have much respect for dogs, I would hate to injure one.

Why is “appear too perfect” important in the context of concealing one's talent and skill?

Egotistically inflated judgment of their talent. No one is perfect. If you read the Bible, even God is suspect. The most one can be, is excellent. Extremely excellent is as close to perfect as anyone can get. It is more worrisome that one would conceal excellent talent, however.

Why do I have the incessant romantic desire to suffer through hard labor? I find myself obsessively idealizing the act of chopping down trees and destroying roads with a pickaxe.

Join the Army. Be all you can be.

How do I feel less lonely and more self-based on my own happiness? I've learned that people aren't permanent and it seems to be a hard pill for me to swallow. I've cut out a lot of people in my life as we are different or unhealthy for each other.

That people come and go is one lesson we all have to learn and endure. Loniness lasts as long as it takes for a new someone to enter our life. In the meantime, strive to be truly happy always, and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. Happiness is nothing more than a choice we must make for our life. Make the choice and focus your efforts on it. New friends will find you.

Is Germany a good country?

Compared to what?

“I remember learning German - so beautiful, so strange - at school in Australia on the other side of the earth. My family was nonplussed about me learning such an odd, ugly language and, though of course too sophisticated to say it, the language of the enemy. But I liked the sticklebrick nature of it, building long supple words by putting short ones together. Things could be brought into being that had no name in English - Weltanschauung, Schadenfreude, sippenhaft, Sonderweg, Scheissfreundlichkeit, Vergangenheitsbewältigung.”

-- Anna Funder

Is it normal for a mother to put down her child?

If she’s a "bad" mother, yes.

When is it better to say less than more?

Opening one’s mouth has several outcomes. You can prove you’re a doof that doesn’t know their ass from a hole in the ground, you can say something unhelpful, or you can be spot on. The best tact, however, is to keep your pie hole shut, open your ears, and listen. You learn less when you’re bloviating than when you listen. When you listen, you can critique what is being said and come up with a cogent response. One doesn’t always have to flap their lips. 

How do the rich and powerful get their way?

Lots of money and “friends” in high places. 

Is it okay for a person to be confident and bossy when they’ve been quiet and a pushover their whole life?

It’s okay, but is being “bossy” really necessary? Years of experience have taught me that being “bossy” isn’t as constructive as learning to communicate well. When it comes to being a supervisor, manager, or just a person on the street, good communication skills are so much better than being bossy. So, be confident, and communicate well, and people will respect you more.

Does the world suck because most people are stupid?

The current President of the United States was voted in.

“Far be it from me to ever let my common sense get in the way of my stupidity. I say we press on.”

-- Sherrilyn Kenyon

What does it mean if people in your family say that you are the one most likely to become a cult leader? Is it possible to be a cult leader with truly righteous morals?

Let’s look at the definition: “A system of religious veneration and devotion directed toward a particular figure or object.”

I could be wrong, but, I’d say that covers most of the major religions in the world that tout “truly righteous morals.”

How do I deal with a non-committed relationship?

Let it go. Don’t worry about things over which you have no control.

What is an example of a promotion lie?

Saying that “Nutella” is good for you, was a promotion lie. It may taste good, but it certainly isn’t as healthful as peanut butter. The company was forced to change all of its marketing to promote the product as tasty crap that you can smear on toast. 

Where do you get all the stupid questions from?

The audience. But the questions really aren’t stupid unless they ask them twice.

After I entered my 30s why do I feel shy to reveal my age, is there a way I could dodge the age question?

Why? Age is synonymous with experience. A person in their 30s should be experienced in most things younger people don’t know diddly about, like making love, exotic sex, or the collected works of Donatien Alphonse François. I am almost 70 years of age, and I have never felt the need to “dodge” the question of my age. Life is much too interesting.

“Age is a question of mind over matter - if you don't mind, it doesn't matter.”

-- Abhijit Naskar

How can I build trust in my relationship?

Be morally ethical. There is no trust without a good code of moral ethics.

What does it mean when a guy won't cook for you?

Men cook. I haven’t met one on the Gulf Coast who doesn’t love to cook. So, he either doesn’t know how, or he doesn’t like you enough. 

What are some signs that your life is about to take a drastic turn?

She’s pregnant.

As a man, what can you do to make a woman happy?

Women are all different. They like different things. If you try to make them happy, you’re your worst enemy. The best tactic I know for not failing is to ask them, and even then you are probably doomed, as their minds change by the minute. The best sex you can serve up won’t be the best they’ve ever had, even if it is. Venus is a world of contradictions. 

How do you convince someone that you know how to drive?

Show them your license. You only get one by passing the “hands-on” and written driving test.

“If the police catch someone using their mobile phone whilst driving they should have the right to confiscate the person’s license with immediate effect AND confiscate their car keys so they have to walk home. I don’t care if they’re 200 or 400 miles from home, take their keys off them. And no need to waste the court’s time over this one. They don’t go to court. The police should have the power to write out a year’s driving ban on the spot and force them to surrender their license.

Anyone got any arguments over this one?”

-- Karl Wiggins

Do you think English is easy?

It’s the only language I’ve been able to learn.

Why do people answer a different question?

It has been my experience that the question you plan to answer on this site will change to something a tad different when you go to answer it. I always try to explain I’m answering the original question.

How can we save a failed IT project?

If you can save it, then it isn’t a “failed” project. 

How quickly can a man lose interest in a woman?

That would depend on which STD she contracted, not from you.
That would depend on if she’s pregnant when you come back from a tour overseas.
That would depend on which “friend” you find her in bed with.
That would depend on her reason for having condoms... when you’ve had a vasectomy.
That would depend on why she called you “John” when your name is Bill.

Why does someone keep saying that they don't know?

They really don’t know, so stop asking them.

“If you don’t know the answer to a question, do not beat around the bush. There is absolutely nothing wrong with saying “I don’t know.”

-- Charmaine J. Forde

What would you say if I told you that the test you are going through right now is all about honor? Are you an honorable person? What you do is who you are.

Every test in my life has been about honor. My 23 years in military intelligence capped it off. My country is my life, and honor is the credo that guides me through it.

What is the key to a happy marriage in old age?

Good morally ethical behavior. True love, honesty, loyalty, and communication. 

Can one be a great dad without having kids of their own?

If there can be crappy dads that are never around, there can be great dads to someone else’s children. It’s all about good parenting skills, not necessarily being “parents.” Any idiot can be a sperm donor, and most are.

What does a girl need to do when she is still unmarried at the age of 40?

Get your tubes tied, then go kick up your heels and have fun!

Can you be good without believing in god or any religious doctrine? If so, how do we become better humans without those things?

Yes, and many do. Develop a personal code of good moral ethics that you can stand by through thick and thin. You must never waiver from this path. Strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances, and be selfless in all you do. I follow no religious doctrine, yet I am spiritual to a fault… and the fault is usually mine.

“This life, therefore, is not righteousness, but growth in righteousness, not health, but healing, not being but becoming, not rest but exercise. We are not yet what we shall be, but we are growing toward it, the process is not yet finished, but it is going on, this is not the end, but it is the road. All does not yet gleam in glory, but all is being purified.”

-- Martin Luther

Is the advice to young people useless?

Most seem to want to learn by failing, which is the best way we learn. Advice just makes learning easier.

What do you think about the statement "There is no such thing as a bad artist"?

Art is what you want it to be. If you appreciate what you have wrought, then someone else’s opinion means very little. I’ve seen absolute crap that goes for top dollar. Beauty is, after all, in the eye of the beholder. Some people just like crap.

What do you say to someone when they want to cuddle but you don't?

“I have a headache.” Women made it famous.

Can it be true that we should always say less than necessary?

Yes. As a trainer, people learn by listening and asking questions. State what needs to be stated, and if they need clarification, they’ll ask questions. In this way, you know they are paying attention. Or, you can drone on and bore people to death. Pretty soon, they learn to tune you out.

How can someone find meaning in their work if they are pursuing an unattainable goal?

How will they know it’s unattainable if they don’t find meaning in the pursuit?

“I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

-- Thomas A. Edison 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After over twenty years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier, and world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. 

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com