Questioning Humility, Bullies, Cancer, Sex, Revenge, and Guns

“Who you are tomorrow begins with what you do today.”

-- Tim Fargo

Is it a must that people from poor backgrounds achieve the finer things in life only by being humble and praying?

Regardless of your financial status, you must have a healthy work ethic. If you aren’t willing to work for everything you get, you will never respect all you have. Praying and humility don’t hurt the effort, but your efforts should be selfless. You should be humble with those in charge. And don’t be afraid to take on challenges.

Should true love with someone else be a healthier marriage?

Yes, if both people are truly in love with each other.

How do I stop my heart from racing right before giving a speech before crowds?

Is the crowd grading you, or are you imparting some knowledge? I gave speeches before crowds for 20 years of my 23 in the military. The hardest thing to get through your head is that you are in charge. They are there to hear what you have to say. Take your time. Have some notes so you don’t go off track. Practice in the venue, so you can practice projecting your voice. Have someone sit in the back of the room to help you gauge your voice and volume. Practice, practice, practice… and when you’re done, practice again. It will take you several speeches before you become comfortable giving them.

How can I trick my mind into thinking I’m ok when I’m not?

You still won’t be ok, so what’s the point? Better to work on the problem and become ok.

Questions for bullied people: What happened? Do you regret what you did to stop it? What would you advise others going through the same thing? Do you think what the bully did was right? What do you think pushed them to do that? Is it ok?

I stood up for myself. I took a tree branch and almost beat the kid to death if a friend hadn’t pulled me off of him. I started standing up for others who were being bullied. I got my ass handed to me regularly - I never backed down. Bullies are generally not happy people. They’re less happy when they are getting beaten with a tree branch.

“The victim inside us all ceases when we stand up in opposition of that which oppresses or intimidates us. Something powerfully intrinsic happens when the courage to no longer be silent awakens within us and we are compelled to confront our problems rather than cower to them. The things that torment us thrive on our hushed fears and insecurities and they are made powerless by a resilient voice; An inner voice that says...“No More!”

-- Jason Versey

Would you be liked and bullied less, if you stopped worrying about your feelings being hurt and just joined in with their jokes and humor?

I’m not sure how validating a bully’s conduct will help you. And, by validating their conduct, you tell them it is ok to bully other people who can’t defend themselves. No. I stopped worrying about my feelings and being hurt when I picked up a tree branch and beat my tormenter with it until someone pulled me off of them. Sooner or later, the bully takes their eyes off the little guy. Big mistake. I started standing up for others who couldn’t defend themselves. I got my ass kicked regularly until the novelty wore off.

What can you do to eliminate your fear of the dark at night?

Carry a flashlight.

What is the connection between perception and incidence?

If you don’t personally perceive the incident, then, for you, it hasn’t happened. It is hearsay until it is verified. And, even then, you only perceive the verification. You haven’t, yourself, seen, heard, or felt the incident. And if you do, your perception is only as good as your experience allows. Your perception can be more “guesswork” until it is verified.

What qualities make up the "best person ever"?

That depends on the person judging them. We all have our own opinions.

What does being morally upright or honest and fair mean anymore because nobody hardly regards or celebrates that anymore from my perspective I can see?

It is an individual choice one must make for their life. Whether anyone perceives it is evidence that they cannot observe the obvious. For the individual being morally upright, honest, and fair, however, their conduct helps to define them to people who recognize good “ethical” conduct.

“Always do what is right. It will gratify half of mankind and astound the other.”

-- Mark Twain

Why do most successful people seek happiness?

Most people do not understand that true happiness is success in life. Everything else is simply attaining goals. Successful people strive for true happiness always and in all things, regardless of their circumstances.

I am in my 20s but horrified about getting cancer. What should I do?

Avoid anything carcinogenic. But, cancer can hit the healthy through genetics. It is what it is.

Is it better for a leader to be feared, respected, or a mix of both?

A leader should never be feared. A leader should never knowingly set out to destroy the country they swore to support and defend. And, a leader should never set out to divide the people they swore to serve.

What is the procedure observed while making decisions?

Weighing the pros and cons comes to mind.

Why do they always say that revenge is a dish best served cold?

The target will be expecting revenge. Better to let the dust settle, let them become complacent, then cut their balls off. However, revenge comes at a price. Two wrongs don’t make a right, and karma already has a full plate. The eternal soul will suffer the consequences of revenge.

“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.”

-- Marcus Aurelius

Would it turn you off if your girlfriend had sex with ten guys, you being the tenth, and then didn’t tell you?

Well, there are words to describe her. I don't associate with those words … or the girl that didn’t tell me. Something about STDs just turns me off.

Reader comment: That “body count” mentality plays a role in why people have an undiagnosed STD! You insinuated women who have more past partners inherently have something – in a roundabout way, you made it seem like you cared about health, but if that’s the case, you know it doesn’t matter how many people women have had sex with; even if she has only had one partner, they could have a disease! What’s important is safety.

My reply: Spoken like someone who is perpetually offended. I never mentioned the number of guys she had sex with. You assumed. But, since we're there, the chances of contracting an STD go up the more men you screw. Maybe you should learn about "odds" before you crap all over people's comments. Just saying. 

Do you think some Indians on [this site] are polluting this space with their soulless formulaic robotic-English paragraph answers in every category?

Judgmental? I’m not touching it.

There is nothing impressive but only impressionable people. Any thoughts?

There’s nothing “impressive” about impressionable people. Most impressionable people are easily swayed by other people’s impressions. This is evidence of minds being unable to think for themselves.

Is it better to cut out all my free time so I can get to my goals faster?

No. It is essential to good health that you have time to relax.

Is it hard to talk wifout teef?

Yes.  You need to get your tongue up against your pearly whites for people to understand certain words.

“Do you remember our first kiss? I do. Not a day goes by I don’t think of the feel of that bicuspid against my tongue. It had such a distinctive feel, neither cuspid nor molar…but I’m not sure it knew that – that was what endeared it to me so. It was like the blunted tusk of a wild boar.”

-- Benson Bruno

What is the best revenge on your cheating husband?

Lorena Bobbitt cut his penis off. I’d be more interested in taking him to the cleaners in divorce court. Karma would look more kindly on it.

Who’s the most evil person you’ve personally met?

My ex-wife. No contest.

What is an interesting definition of the word "problem" you have come across?

When the military says, “It’s a problem, but we’re on top of it.” Their idea of being on top of a “problem” would depend on the numb nuts they assigned it to. I had more problems dumped on my desk when the “problem” finally exploded in their face. The military has a real issue with admitting the difference between a problem and an impending disaster.

Is ethical behavior actually lying (for your own and other people's happiness)?

If you’re “lying,” you aren’t practicing good “ethical” behavior.

What is an example of being judgmental without realizing it and being judgmental intentionally?

I’ll make this simple without a needless example. You can not realize you’ve been judgmental, or you can do it intentionally. Now, for an example:

“Do you think this skirt is too short?”

“I wouldn’t wear the skirt.” might be construed as judgemental.  “Well... if you want to look like a whore...” removes all doubt.

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you"

-- Matthew 7:1-2

Is it ever okay for a teenager to bully someone else?

It is never “okay” to bully anyone. It shows personal issues, like cowardice and a lack of good character. 

What does it mean when someone describes your stage performance (any stage performance) as simple, direct, childlike, and unpretentious?

If you’re a child actor or you need to convey a “childlike” presence, it doesn’t sound bad.

What is the meaning of “be humble in your confidence yet be courageous in your character”?

Do you know me? I see no need to wear my humility on my sleeve for all to see. But, if you see me being humble, don’t mistake humility for cowardice. I dealt with the bullies of my childhood. I learned how to stand my ground and stay humble while doing so.

What do you think of the name Alex Robert Ralph does it flow well and sound nice?

It doesn’t work for me, but I’m not the father.

How can a woman show respect to a man without losing her identity?

If she gives what she gets, she loses nothing. Respecting anyone that gives you no respect is subservient, and just wrong.

“I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich, or poor. If you're nice to me, I'll be nice to you. Simple as that.”

-- Robert Michaels, MD

Why did America have 100 times more gun homicides per 100,000 in 2019 than Great Britain, which has drastically restricted access to guns, if guns aren't the problem?

Guns don’t kill people... yet. Artificial Intelligence might change that.

What should I do when I am scared of making it in the future?

You don’t have to make it. It is a bit counterproductive. But it will probably end the fear of making it. Of course, it might be replaced by a fear of not making it. Life is a bitch, this way.

What do I say when I am creating people?

“I am a God!”

Is mercy pity or peace?

Pity. Exercising mercy may very well create an atmosphere of peace. 

What is a full threat assessment?

Try this:

“A threat assessment is the evaluation and assessment of the intentions of people who could pose a threat to an organization, how they might cause harm, and their ability and motivation to carry out the task.”

-- Security Science (2013)

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After over twenty years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center. 

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com