Questioning Ethics, Trust, Belief, Respect, Humility, and Luck

“Am I a good person? Deep down, do I even really want to be a good person, or do I only want to seem like a good person so that people (including myself) will approve of me? Is there a difference? How do I ever actually know whether I'm bullshitting myself, morally speaking?”

-- David Foster Wallace

What is the difference between ethics, morals, and values?

Good ethics are morally valuable.

When will you consider an action is good or bad, moral or immoral, ethical or unethical?

Every time I consider an action. As a pastor, it is incumbent on me to set a good, ethical example for others. Occasionally, I slip, but not very often. Mistakes and failures are the best ways we learn.

Which of Ayn Rand's quote(s) do you completely agree with?

“The man who does not value himself, cannot value anything or anyone.”

How do I appeal wise?

You probably meant, “How do I appear wise?” Well, you really can’t unless your audience is all un-wise. True wisdom comes with age and experience. If you appear to be wise, well, you must be. Wisdom is not something you can readily fake. In your case, the first step is to learn how to "spell check" what you type.

My coworker is pretending to be lost or in need of help to get my attention. She has asked me if I am married. What does this mean?

Is she gay?

“You can only do so much pretending before you become the thing you're pretending to be.”

-- Hank Green

How do you know when to trust someone or not?

Putting your trust in someone is opening yourself up to disappointment. The only person you should trust is you, and even that can be disappointing. 

What is the character of a child whose father is an extrovert and the mother is an introvert?

It might depend on who has the most influence. Then again, they might find the middle path.

Where does your wisdom come from—and how do I get there?

The “school of hard knocks” has taught me the wisdom of ages. You get there by not being afraid to live life, make mistakes, and fail occasionally. Strive to be truly happy, always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

Do you like it when girls call you daddy?

Oh, my yes, indeed! Spankings will commence! 

What is success? Is it all about luck or hard work? What's more important than the other, if both are required for success?

True success is being truly happy in life. It is a choice to strive for true happiness, always and in all things, regardless of circumstances. Everything else is attaining goals.

“Success is not how high you have climbed, but how you make a positive difference to the world.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

When is it okay to believe in something without seeing it?

I have faith that there is a supreme power in the universe that created all, and I haven’t seen it. Faith, after all, is a belief in something for which there is little or no proof.

What is true freedom for you?

True happiness.

What can each person do to respectfully appreciate a female today?

I bought a dozen roses from a vendor walking through the mall. I handed them all out to women as they walked by. It was selfish of me because it made me feel as good as it made them feel.

What can you do today, to show anyone you care for them?

Give them a heartfelt hug.

How can someone become more aware of their thoughts and actions in the moment, rather than after the fact?

I have no point of reference for this. I’m always cognizant of my thoughts and actions at the moment, as opposed to an “after” thought.

“If, then, I were asked for the most important advice I could give, that which I considered to be the most useful to the men of our century, I should simply say: in the name of God, stop a moment, cease your work, look around you.”

-- Leo Tolstoy

What does it mean when a smart person says something that sounds stupid?

They’re human.

Should women respect men?

Only if the men respect them. Respect is a two-way street. You give what you get, and vice versa. 

Do people regret giving bad advice to others?

I do, so I try not to do it. No advice is better than bad advice.

How do you retain everything you have learned in your mind?

No, but I have the wisdom it left me. I have no idea why some things are simply wrong to me. I know they are, so I don’t push the envelope. So far, I’ve been spot on.

Do you ever look for a good reason to be bad?

I used to. Unfortunately, I don’t hang around that many women anymore.

“Bad stuff happens, people are mean, there are no steps you can take that ensure the world leaves you alone. All you can do is try not to be one of those people who contributes to the bad.”

-- Holly Bourne

Is being humble a weakness? How can you use it to succeed?

Being humble is anything but a weakness. It allows you to focus instead of acting out.

How can I trick my mind into thinking I’m ok when I’m not?

So, let me get this straight. You want to use your mind to trick your mind into thinking you’re ok when you’re not. I’m not sure your mind will allow that unless it’s broken.

How do I answer the question, "What's up?"?

The sky.

Can something useless to one person be used by another person? Explain your answer?

I have several pistols that I consider useless to me. I have about 25 knives that I’m more proficient with.

Have you ever thought about changing your name and identity completely?

Military Intelligence for 23 years. We thought about it constantly.

“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Why does one of my little brothers have bad luck? How can I fix it?

Cause and effect, not bad luck. Teach him to make better choices and decisions. It may require him to slow down and think before he acts.

I already have a kind heart, but I cannot show it to others all the time. How do I do it?

Why can’t you show it? Having a “kind heart” doesn’t mean you have to let people take advantage of you. Kindness is teaching a man to fish, not giving him your fish.

What is it called when someone forces you to think and believe something that isn't true?   Like, if you don't have a beard you're not manly?

Gullible.

Do you think that living/loving yourself is quite narcissistic?

If you think you’re “all that,” you probably are. Loving yourself is the first step to happiness. It allows you to focus on truly loving others. 

Why do I feel uncomfortable whenever I step outside?

Try this:

“Agoraphobia is a type of anxiety disorder. A person with agoraphobia is afraid to leave environments they know or consider to be safe. In severe cases, a person with agoraphobia considers their home to be the only safe environment.”

-- Better Health Channel

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After over twenty years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance... he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com