Questioning Answers, Shame, Lies, Skills, Replies, and Reality

 

“Those who respect the elderly pave their own road toward success.”

-- African Proverb

Are people who answer like this, "Pack your son's things and let him leave your house," in the age range of 60 to 80 years?

If the son is over 18, and not going to college, yeah, that sounds like us. It’s time for them to get a life of their own and stop mooching off their parents.

Why do good people say they’re giving you privacy, but secretly, they're not?

They really aren’t that good.

Is "negative" action preferable to non-action?

Like, murdering a child in the womb instead of allowing it to live? Only if the life of the mother is in jeopardy.

What is a question you can ask AI to test its self-awareness?

“Why?”

What about the person who never stands first in class or in anything? Is he still smart?

Intelligent people stand and bloviate, while "smart" people listen, learn, and keep their pie holes shut.

“Leadership is not about occupying the front seat. It is being at the forefront of the struggle to free people from whatsoever that is troubling them.”

-- Gift Gugu Mona

What are some ways to show perseverance at work?

You have to persevere, not just make a show of it.

What do you say to someone ashamed of who they are?

I would have to know why they are ashamed. Are people telling them things to make them ashamed? Has the person done something to make them feel ashamed?

If other people are involved, they need to ignore ignorance. Other people’s negativity says more about them than their target. If they have done something to make them feel ashamed, then they either need to make it right, apologize, or let it go and do better the next time.

Is the phrase "No, you're not the only one" a universal answer to questions beginning with "Am I the only one who…" on the Internet?

Not necessarily. There are two answers to this. Another “universal” answer could be, “Yes, you are the only one.”

How do I stop feeling like I want to or need to be ‘nice’ and submissive to everyone? At work, there are people I truly don’t think have anything to offer me and they just want to take take take from me but I keep giving because I’m ‘nice.’

If you expect something back, then you’re being nice for a selfish reason. If you expect something back and you allow people to take from you, that is being nice in a kind of stupid way. If you can’t be selfless in giving, then you should stop giving. You think you’re being nice but, in reality, it seems like you are being submissive and letting everyone spank you.

A thought would be for you to do some introspection, some self-analysis, and find out for yourself why you are being selfish and why you are being submissive. Personally, I think you need to find a dominant character and let them really spank you.

What’s the best way to engage the 55+ years old community to continue their purpose and active nature?

Answer questions put to them. They need to mentor and pass along the knowledge and wisdom they have collected over their life.

“Capriciousness is the preserve of the old. So marvelous to be able to let random thoughts pour from the mind to the tongue without pause or retribution.”

-- Hannah Rothschild

How do you deal with a woman who plays hard to get?

Move on.

What small things do you find happiness in?

Being a grandfather, small children make me smile. There is a sense of wonder on the face of a small child that you can see nowhere else. It makes me smile, and when I smile, I’m happy!

Depression/anxiety is rampant in society today. How do we approach it?

Attack the cause.

Can lies be a form of love?

Yes, but why would you base love on lies? Love will be doomed for the onset. I know this very well.

What can you do happily for hours?

Answer questions. I do it every day.

“Change the way you think and you will change the way you feel.”

-- Charmaine Smith Ladd

Do you feel that leadership can be learned, or is it an innate skill?

I spent 23 years in the military learning, performing, and teaching leadership skills. I was so not a leader when I enlisted. Being a leader doesn’t mean you have the required skills to be one. Many have had leadership thrust upon them, and they have to learn as they travel their path.

If I'm happy with someone, then does it matter what other people think about that person?

Not really.

How can we deal with failure in life, and how can we improve our attitude toward it?

Mistakes and failure are the best ways we learn, but you have to learn from them. You need to ask why you failed and why you made the mistake. Critique the steps you made that led to the failure or mistake and find out why it happened. When we find out what we did to cause the failure or mistake, we can mitigate the chances of another one. Everyone makes mistakes and fails. If they say they don’t, they lie. 

Why don't most people achieve their dream?

Lack of perseverance.

What is the best advice you can give to someone who is looking to improve their critical thinking and decision-making skills?

Join the military.

“The essence of the independent mind lies not in what it thinks, but in how it thinks.”

-- Christopher Hitchens

How do you reply to “How are you” from your girl?

“Better, now that you’re here.”

What causes some people to never be satisfied with their life and career even when they have everything that they want?

Lack of true happiness. If you weren’t taught to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances, to begin with, then getting everything you think you want won’t make you truly happy either.

What is the power of positive thinking for achieving success?

A necessary tactic.

How does marriage change thought processes?

It changed the way I thought. You can’t believe anything you’re told until you verify it. I wasted 25 years with a woman who said she loved me. As we were getting divorced, she admitted she never did. I have lived with another woman for 20 years. Never married. I swore I would never make the same mistake again.

How do you calculate your luckiest day?

I don’t, because I don’t believe in luck. “Cause and effect” rule the universe.

“When luck plays a part in determining the consequences of your actions, you don't want to study success to learn what strategy was used but rather study strategy to see whether it consistently led to success.”

-- Michael J. Mauboussin

How can a survivor of trauma avoid acting on thoughts of revenge?

Revenge for those who take revenge is the purview of karma. I wouldn’t want karma on my back when I know karma will deal with the assholes in good time. Two wrongs never make a right, no matter how good you think it will make you feel.

Given what you have learned about your own personality characteristics, what have you identified as changes that might benefit you in the future?

At the age of 70, to misquote a t-shirt I recently acquired, I find that my people skills are just fine it’s my tolerance of moronic drivers that needs some work.

What's the most important quality for a successful leader to have?

Good management skills. 

What's the most unexpected thing you've learned this year?

I was chosen by a very beautiful and dear friend to be her surrogate father after her dad died. I am still touched by her faith in me.

Can people have different roles in the same relationship?

They usually do. Good communication prevents duplication of effort, getting in the way, and taking a different path. Although the phrase is socialist, popularized by Karl Marx, a version of it applies here: “From each according to their ability, to each according to their needs!”

"We whose names are here underwritten, intending by God's gracious permission to plant ourselves in New England, and if it may be, in the southerly part about Quinnipiack, do faithfully promise each, for ourselves and our families and those that belong to us, that we will, the Lord assisting us, sit down and join ourselves together in one entire plantation, and be helpful each to the other in any common work, according to every man's ability, and as need shall require, and we promise not to desert or leave each other or the plantation, but with the consent of the rest, or the greater part of the company who have entered into this engagement."

-- Guilford Covenant, 1639

How can you turn your vision for an unforgettable event into a reality?

Present the “unforgettable event.” Is this a trick question?

My problem is that when I talk, I speak very fast and start stuttering. How can I make my conversation normal and perfect?

Think before you speak. Speak slower and keep your sentences shorter. A good exercise is to read out loud to yourself or talk to yourself. Keep it slow until you hit the right speed for you. Focus on this speed when you talk to others. I had to learn this when I did public speaking, and briefings for aircrews, while in the military.

How do I know if I'm emulating someone or if I'm genuinely being myself?

If you don’t know, then you’re probably not, so don’t worry about it.

How can I deal with the guilt that I’m so far behind in life compared to the people I went to school with?

Balance. There must be balance in the universe. Some people are meant to burn hot, and others are meant not to. Many of those who don’t take on the jobs the fast-burners don’t. And, there is no shame in that. Many people in the hospitality industry, are not fast-burners. People who stock shelves, check you out in stores, keep the city clean, and the like, are probably not fast burners, but they do jobs that are a necessary part of our everyday life. Without them, you can make your own burger… because no one will be working at fast food franchises. 

I hesitate to bring up some mothers, but… motherhood is a definite skill that many fast-burners don’t have time for. So, it doesn’t matter what you do, it matters that you do it well. Take pride in whatever you are, and let people see it. Everyone deserves respect for doing a good job.

What do I do when I feel like shit and a waste of space?

Make the conscious choice to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

“Mmmmpphhtthhh?”

-- Stuart Gibbs

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions offered. After over twenty years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier, and world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. 

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

 Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com