Questioning Why, Support, Mistress, Feelings, Treatment, and Sex

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

I wish I wasn't born. I want nothing to do with love. I'm an evil person. I don't blame anybody else for the way that I am. Why? Why am I here?

You are supposed to learn from what you have done. That is why you are here, to learn. You must learn not to be an evil person, in this way, you can teach others to be good instead of evil. Look in the mirror, and watch yourself cry. It will help.

If I say I am a liar, do you trust my words?

Nope. You have given me reason to doubt.

Can we be happy after a breakup?

Oh, hell yes! Of course, it depended on if you wanted to break up. If you didn’t, it will take a while before you see the logic in the move.

How many people are happy to meet with their against people?

This makes little sense. Of course, it could be me.

For what we’re living for? Now it is 8 billion people and what is their function? We are just working for each other I think?

We are living to learn. If you haven’t got a handle on that, it will slap you in the near future. It is what it is, but what it is isn’t clear to everybody.

Feeling stressed and uninspired? What are some short and powerful quotes, that can help me find inner peace and clarity?

Try this: 

“Reality is what it is, and what it isn’t, it isn’t.

Sometimes, what it is it isn’t, and what it isn’t, well... it is.

Other times it's nothing, and then it's anything.

But, if it's nothing, it isn’t, and if it's anything, it is.

But, naming "nothing" makes nothing something;

Therefore, whether it is or it isn’t, it must be,

Because, even nothing that isn’t, already is.”

-- F.A. Villari

What are the consequences of not paying child support and getting remarried?

Going to court and letting your marriage know that you aren’t worth shit for kids.

Is it wrong to love your spouse and your ex?

I love my ex, I just can’t be around her. She has the uncanny ability to push all the wrong buttons for me. I love her because she gave me two great kids, that are not a bit like her.

Is it necessary to leave if you have feelings for someone who does not reciprocate them?

Yep.

Why do so many Americans ignore the obvious and say they are a classless society?

It is odd, that you say this. I know of no one who would agree with you. We do business. In business, we have many classes of workers, supervisors, managers, and owners. It is what it is.

Men don't want to get married anymore because "modern women" are not worth marrying. What do you think?

Indeed.

I have been with a person for 19 years. He never asked me to marry him. What should I do?

Nothing. I’ve been with my “girlfriend” for over 20 years, In 2000 I went through a divorce. She knows this, and she knows I will never marry again. It is what it is, and she accepts it.

“Never marry at all, Dorian. Men marry because they are tired, women, because they are curious: both are disappointed.”

-- Oscar Wilde

What does a mistress have that the wife does not have or offer?

Reasons… for having a great time.

What do you think is the main reason kids/teens want to grow up so fast nowadays?

Stupidity. 

What are some reasons that people get married?

Stupidity and pregnancy. They aren’t “best of friends” and/or there was a “sexual mistake.”

What is your advice for a 25-year-old guy in love with a married woman with 3 kids?

Find a woman your own age. You can’t afford the married woman… or her three kids.

Is it fair to limit the number of children your spouse wants to have, based on your own desires?

A man has little say in a woman’s desire.

Why do some people feel like they are not over someone, but would not take them back if they were to return?

I love my ex-wife more than I can say. But, I can’t be around her for more than an hour.

“Having a date with someone other than your ex-wife after being a married man for more than twenty-five years was an important occasion alright, but wearing a tie she bought with such strong emotional value attached to it was a form of cowardice, a subconscious reluctance to let go.”

-- Vann Chow 

How do you handle a boyfriend who doesn't care about your feelings?

Find a new boyfriend who cares about your feelings.

As a white man, how do you feel about a white woman marrying Tim Scott?

Tim Scott is a man. Why would I have an issue, regardless of her color?

Why do women stop giving oral sex after they get married?

They are looking for a divorce.

Is my marriage over if I can’t do this? Husband of 10 yrs. wants me to peg him. We tried, but it’s not for me. Now we don’t have sex, and he spends hours in the restroom.

This sounds like a good reason to end it.

My wife passed away. Now my wife's boyfriend is looking to split the inheritance with me. How should we do it?

He gets nada. What he’s looking for is your wife’s “Will”… which she doesn’t have.

My boyfriend cheated on me with 2 women and I can't take the pain. What do I do?

This is silly. You leave him. He cheated on you, and it won’t be the last time.

F**k You for cheating on me. F**k you for reducing it to the word cheating. As if this were a card game, and you sneaked a look at my hand. Who came up with the term cheating, anyway? A cheater, I imagine. Someone who thought liar was too harsh. Someone who thought devastator was too emotional. The same person who thought, oops, he’d gotten caught with his hand in the cookie jar. Fuck you. This isn’t about slipping yourself an extra twenty dollars of Monopoly money. These are our lives. You went and broke our lives. You are so much worse than a cheater. You killed something. And you killed it when its back was turned.”

-- David Levithan

I put these two questions together, for an obvious reason:

Why do women stay in a relationship with men who treat them badly? 

Is it considered rude for a partner to dismiss your feelings by saying, "You're too sensitive," after saying something hurtful?

The first question gets down to reality. Women should not stay in a relationship with an asshole that will "treat them badly," especially if they dismiss their feelings. My father told me, early on, to look out for "sensitive" women, or you'll have your hands full. Personally, I like "sensitive" women. I have had my hands full.

Do you agree that poor kids are just as bright as white kids?

So, “poor kids” aren’t white? White kids can be just as poor as any other kid.

What should I do if I let you down?

Apologize. I am sensitive to apologies and accept them as a humble friend. Letting me down is not the end of the world. People let other people down all the time. I hate to say it, but… it is a human trait.

My pregnant girlfriend doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. How do I deal with this?

It takes two to tango. Why is she putting all the blame on you? Is it yours? Hmmm... 

Why do people use "stupid" instead of "ignorant" when they don't know something?

They don’t realize that “stupid” is more demeaning than “ignorant” is. If they thought about it, they would take the word “stupid” and stop using it… period.

How do I deal with a guy who won’t stop demanding sex?

Say “no” enough and he’ll probably stop, and you can get a better friend.

“Being this sensitive, not demanding sex when I’m so tired, understanding me completely, is basically foreplay, long-range foreplay because sleep is calling, but it still counts.”

-- Kerry Heavens

What do you think of having a boyfriend/girlfriend just for sex?

They aren’t a boyfriend or girlfriend. You are using them just for sex. Pay them and they’re a prostitute, don’t pay them and they are your slut. Using people for your pleasure is wrong. Pay them, this way they know what they are.

What are some reasons why some girls may choose to stay in a relationship even if they are unhappy or tired of it?

Security, until they can find another “sugar daddy.” Are you buying into this?

What do I do if my girlfriend wants to wear revealing clothes?

Is there a problem with this? If she wears it for you… but, that’s probably not the case. I’d look out for her “hitting” on other guys. It probably won’t happen, though. Is she innocent about “revealing clothes”? For me, I’d enjoy the hell out of it... and be very concerned.

Why are British policies so stupid?

Uh… they’re British. No other reason makes sense.

Why would a girl stay in a relationship with someone she finds annoying?

She might be getting something that she wants. She can deal with “annoying” as long as she gets what she wants… all the time.

What is a different phrase for "you're such a loser"?

“You suck.”

“Losers have goals. Winners have systems.”

-- Scott Adams

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com