Questioning Friends, Advice, Confusion, Change, Women, and Property

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me… just be my friend”

-- Albert Camus

Is having friends always going to matter?

Friends give you honesty when you need it, even when you don’t want to hear it.

How do you check your own ignorance?

I find out I’m “ignorant” from people in the know. We are here, in this life, to learn. Part of learning is realizing you are ignorant on many levels. You can educate yourself if you find an area you are ignorant of. Part of learning is knowing to let people know, you don’t know, so you can learn.

What does it mean when a husband says he doesn't care if the wife cheats?

Probably, because he is already cheating. He might be looking for a divorce. Or, he might want to watch his wife have sex with a stranger. Or, he just doesn’t give a shit.

What was the moment you realized, your boss was completely out of touch with reality?

When he blamed me, to the owner, for doing something he did. I let it go and chewed his ass in private. How dare he throw me under the bus. Over drinks with the owner, I ratted him out. She knew that he had done something off-color, by the look on my face when he did it. We laughed about it. 

How do I become a good person in society?

Become good and selfless, in all that you do. Helping people, always, is a great way to start.

How can I be more confident, have a strong personality, make changes, and be a leader?

Your questions are evidence that you have some way to go. A leader already has the answer to these. The best way to learn what you need is to take a leadership class with a group like the American Management Association. 

"A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way."

-- John C. Maxwell

It's kind of hilarious. Everyone here is looking for advice but can't even take their own smh?

Okay, so I’m old. What does “smh” stand for? And, this is not really a question. It’s more of a statement.

Is it practical or even desirable to be mindful all the time?

I’m mindful most of the time. Making love, on the other hand, requires one to surrender whatever your partner wants. I have tried to be mindful. But, it’s difficult when you are ad-libbing at the moment.

How do I get rid of anger pangs caused by realizing I missed a task or am too late?

It is what it is. You can’t make it right, so let it go. Apologies all round. Oops… Screwed up. Que sera, sera.

Why do many people regret their decisions when they reach the end?

They made the wrong decision, or they made the right decision for the wrong reason. All one can do is do the good thing. If your decision is based on good, there is nothing more you could have done, but been wrong. If you do the best you can do, and it is good, people will see it, sooner or later.

What is the difference between confidence and action?

You have confidence that the action you are taking is the right action. Confidence is thought, and the action will show that your confidence was not in vain.

What are you thankful for today?

I woke up. Any day on this side of the dirt is a great day.

“The very fact that you're aware of suffering is enough reason to be overjoyed that you're alive and can experience it.”

-- Bob Ross

Why can’t I think of anything to do? I’m so confused.

Selflessly help someone. You won’t be confused anymore.

What is some advice for the new generation regarding success in life?

If what you do makes you truly happy, you are successful in life. Strive to be truly happy, always, and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

Do you agree that the mark of your education is not in how many degrees you acquire but in how you treat others?

Indeed.

Why has Cowmala Hairyass said that her racial identity is alien from Uranus?

An interesting thought. I thought she was a human, acting like an anus. I don’t think she knows what racial identity she wants to be, not that it is important, to anyone but her. Again, an anus. 

Is it possible to answer questions here but using incognito?

Most people do.

How does your mindset influence your perceptions and actions?

I try to be truly happy, always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. I try to do good, and I try to be selfless in what I do. This “mindset” influences much of the “perceptions and actions” I utilize.

“There is nothing, either 'good or bad', but 'thinking' makes it so. It is the "perception" that makes things what they are. Good and bad are in our minds. It is our mindset, our mental attitude, that determines how we will interpret and respond to situations.

-- Erik Pevernagie 

In which country can change my race, in this world?

You can’t change who you are. On paper, maybe, but who you are will never change. All will do is know you are living a lie, for the rest of your life. I find that thought uncomfortable.

Is it true that a cheating wife/woman is more dangerous than a cheating husband/man?

How many cheating wives have killed their husbands?

Should I leave my husband who has committed adultery?

Will he commit it again? Probably. The act shows that he doesn’t love you more than life. Do you want a husband that wants you more than life? If not, you can stay where you are and find a flesh and blood toy to have fun with… kind of like your husband did. 

Do most men get bored of having sex with their wives?

It depends on how proficient and energetic she is at sex. Of course, if he loves her more than life, sex shouldn’t matter to him. 

How can you handle a disrespectful husband who refuses to obey you as his superior woman and ignores your orders, even if they are not abusive or unreasonable?

You thought you were marrying a submissive. Surprise! Next time do your due diligence.

This guy played me now he's in a serious relationship and I think he'll marry her. How do I cope with being "second best" all the time? Also, I'm mourning the loss.

Don’t be played. If you want to have sex, then go get it. If you want a serious relationship, you should be circumspect, and very careful of the men you date. You cope by getting over yourself. Get back on the horse and be more careful.

“She felt like she had started running a full marathon, feeling completely prepared and ready, only to be told, just before the finish line that the race had been canceled. And, in fact, there never even was a finish line”

-- Kawaguchi Toshikazu

What are simple things you can do to make your woman feel good?

Buy her flowers. If that doesn’t do what you thought it would… try oral sex. If that doesn’t do it, try something in between, like a hot sportscar. To tell the truth… flowers usually work.

Why would someone say no one wants you?

Jealousy. I deal with it all the time.

What happens when the public can see a narcissist’s victim overcome the smearing, bullying and public humiliation attempts from the narcissist?

“She breathes a sigh of relief that that shit is finally over, lets the narcissist destroy his own life (and probably several others) and gets back to her own shit.”

Rose just typed that, as an answer. I concur. You go, girl!

Women don't really hate men; why does society think they do?

They have a misconception that female homosexuality has spread more than it has.

How do I sleep with my husband's best friend?

You sleep with your husband, right? Well, it isn’t that much different. I wouldn’t call your husband’s name in the throws of orgasm, though. It might kill the moment. 

What do you mean by loyal?

Try this:

“Loyalty implies a faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray.”

-- Merriam-Webster

How are the foundations of problems fixed?

With new foundations. Is this another trick question?

The Lib voters are exploiting the system and rarely pay back their dues. Why is that? Is it laziness, stupidity, or no morals?

That, and so much more. Socialism sneaks in there somewhere, along with anti-Americanism. You have to love these people. Did I just say that? No, you really don’t have to love them, put up with them, be friends with them, listen to them, or hang around them.

My boyfriend cheated on me with other women when he was drinking. He still gets on stupid chat sites and answers and has all these fake bot women. Should I be concerned? I’m getting bored with the situation. Any advice?

I’m surprised you’re still with him.

What can I do if my husband and I have become political opposites?

If you really love each other, your politics don’t matter. It makes for good conversation. My Dad was a Democrat and my Mom was a Republican. Somewhere in their life, Dad became a die-hard Republican. They lived together until their deaths.

Sir Isaac Newton believed that his discoveries were largely based on his faith in God, so, why do modern physicists universally reject Isaac Newton's own view of his discoveries?

They reject his belief in a “God” figure. You can’t have religious beliefs around atheists.

Is it normal to regret being British, even though it wasn't my choice?

The British have a long and colorful history to be proud of. To regret being what you are is an insult to your country. If it wasn’t for Britain, holding the Nazi war machine at bay until the U.S. could make up its mind, we’d all be speaking German. I don’t find it to be a beautiful language. I studied it in high school. I thank the Brits for holding the line.

"The English certainly and fiercely pride themselves in never praising themselves."

-- Wyndham Lewis

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com