Questioning Change, Judging, Advantage, Pretending, Sex, and Dealing

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies . . . Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die . . . It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away.”

-- Ray Bradbury

How have you seen the world change in your lifetime?

Many times. When I was in military Intelligence, it changed several more times.

What do you do if the question doesn't like the answer?

Nothing to do about it. I have no filter, so what I think is what you get. If the question doesn’t like the answer, then the question needs some work. Don’t shoot the messenger when the author is at fault.

Why do all my friends be so rude to me?

You need new friends who will value your friendship.

If you make a civilized respectful reply to someone with differing views, that is considerate and not even implying anything sinister whatsoever and they reply in anger and frustration for not thinking like they do, saying you need help are they NPC?

They are not as considerate as you. They are a borderline “asshole.” When they go off the “deep end” you need to smile and walk away from them. That will really piss them off.

In your opinion, what’s the difference between teasing and bullying? When does teasing cross the line into bullying?

When teasing begins to hurt, it has crossed the line.

Do you like going to bars at all, if you do how often do you go and do you socialize with others there?

Absolutely! There are several in town, and I make the rounds. I try to go every day, and I do socialize with my friends… and my new friends. The Mississippi Gulf Coast is a pleasurable place to hang out.

“Socializing is more positive than being alone, that’s why meetings are so popular. People don’t like being alone. That would be, however, an important skill to learn...”

-- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

What justifications do you have that it is okay to judge people as long as they cannot be condoned, are far worse in terms of quality, cannot be trusted, etc. in the capitalist society?

I don’t judge them, I just don’t pay attention to them. Paying attention can paint you as a target for them. I like to make the statement that I am off-limits as a target.

What should people never say to you?

Anything they don’t want to be thrown back at them. I despise assholes.

How do you control your anger and not leash out towards people whom you cannot condone, cannot trust, etc., in a capitalist society, since want to bait you?

Not taking the bait is the first rule of control. I condone most people because they try hard to be condoned. Someone who plays games is not my cup of tea. I am upfront and honest, and I expect the people around me to be the same. If they aren’t now, they soon will be.

Why do they keep saying Kamala is stupid?

Stupid is as stupid does. But, wait… she hasn’t done anything. Okay, she laughs.

What do I do when she always blames me for everything and says I always let her down and I am not able to make her happy emotionally?

Sounds like the time for a divorce. You need someone you can be close friends with, especially in a relationship. 

Who, among internet users, are weak-minded enough to answer this question, so I can gather up all the idiots and have a block party?

So, you want people with something in common with you?

“I've always been very confident in my immaturity.”

-- Brandon Sanderson

Just because I’m a really nice person, people try to take advantage of me. How can I stop being treated like this?

There’s nothing wrong with being a nice person, except that people will try to take advantage of you. It is the curse of the “nice” person. You will always be a target. The best thing you can do is to not be taken advantage of. That’s it. A couple of the best ideas are to get a better group of friends… and learn to say no.

Do you look other shoppers in the eye when at the store? How do you avoid doing it?

If I were shopping for shoppers, I’d be interested in their eyes. I avoid this by shopping for other things.

What are common health-related challenges in relationships?

STDs, cancer, smoking (see cancer), drinking alcohol, losing a limb, or losing a face. Almost everything becomes a “health-related challenge” in a relationship. This is why the relationship should be based on true love and friendship. Losing most of your motor skills can be a challenge for you and who you are with. When you get older, you don’t give a shit about most of this. It is what it is, for most people.

How does obsession with celebrities impact an individual's intellectual development?

Only if their “obsession” gets in the way of their “intellectual development.”

When did you change your mind about something? Briefly describe.

1998. I was separated from my, soon to be, ex-wife. I went to bed with a fairly good-looking woman. She was wrong in so many categories. I changed my mind about taking strangers home. I didn’t get laid as much, but I also didn’t have to deal with strangers in my bed. It was an intelligent choice.

Is pride what stops people from changing for the better?

No. They might think it’s pride, but it would be real ignorance, on their part.

“All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride.”

-- Sophocles

How does pretending to be stupid help benefit you on [this site]?

It doesn’t. Pretending to be stupid is ignorant, and most people can tell.

What is a lesson flow?

Are you talking “Lessonflow” or “lesson flow”? Lessonflow, is “a platform to standardize the way you collect, store, share and reuse lessons learned.” Lesson flow, is how the lessons taught are presented to the students.

How can a university student gain confidence?

Study and get good grades. This isn’t rocket science. Well, it might be.

What are things you wasted countless time worrying about, but never happened?

Her name was Barbara. I ended up divorcing her after 25 years of marriage. What I worried about was her love for me. It was never going to happen, and I needed a life. I’ve been seriously happy for the 23 years since.

What is missing in our society?

Law and order.

How do you stop expecting from your partner? When you know it will hurt eventually.

Whether it is business or marriage, expectations should be what your “partner” should expect from themselves. Both have enough on their plate to be worrying about the other partner. Take care of your side, and let the partner take care of theirs. If you are both doing the right things, the partnership will flourish.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

-- Alexander Pope

What happened to me? I don’t enjoy sex that much anymore.

Age. How old are you?

Which country has a higher value of money?

I used to say the United States. After Joe Biden screwed the economy, that thought died a painful death, along with our border that he opened.

Why do most ladies not want to talk the truth in updating their new partners?

Their guilt, with the old partner, is a nasty update.

Why is being single both a scary and a relieving thought?

I went through this in the divorce from my wife, of 25 years. Infidelity. No problem for her. I gave her everything in the divorce. I was left with nothing, not even pride. I had a gun, that was it. I was scared and considered the coward’s way out. But, a voice in my head, asked me what people would think of me… taking the coward’s way out. After 23 years in the military, I was better than this. I was so much better than her. Five years later, I was dating and had forgotten all about her. I wasn’t scared, not anymore. I didn’t know why I was scared in the first place. Life is what it is. Deal with it.

Do you find people profoundly uninteresting because of their stunning lack of sophistication?

You are hanging around the wrong people.

What are things people should not be afraid to say or do, even if they are worried about other people's opinions?

Nothing. How you say things and how do things will soften the blow… if you care. I have no filter. What I think, I usually say. People consider it bad form. I consider it honesty. It is what it is.

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”

-- Harlan Ellison

What is the best way to deal with a high-conflict ex-spouse, for the sake of the kids?

Any conflict should not be done in front of the kids. I speak from experience.

Is it normal to compare yourself to your partner?

It is normal, but not recommended. Both friends bring commonalities, along with differences, to the marriage. If you were the same, there would be no room for friendly discussion. You would know what the outcome would be. The differences, you both bring, make the marriage interesting and, at times, unknown.

How should one respond when being called an "emotional mess"?

Start crying.

Would you like to have sex with another man in front of your husband but your husbands not okay with it?

Well, aren’t we being the asshole? As a man, personally, I’d enjoy it. Tit for tat. It gives me permission to bring a strange woman home and have sex in our bed. The wife can watch… if she wants. The marriage just became a free-for-all. You'll have to wait, though, for other shoe to fall - Divorce.

Why do some children throw tantrums, even for little things?

Questionable parenting.

Why do most relationships that are based on love fail?

There isn’t enough friendship to hold a loving relationship together. Relationships, especially in marriage, need a strong friendship to get the couple through the hard times. No friendship, no good, strong, relationship.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com