Questioning Purpose, Advantage, Husband, Responses, and Vindictiveness

 

“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.”

-- Mahatma Gandhi

Why are we here? And what is our purpose?

We are here to live and to learn. If you aren’t learning, you are wasting the life you were given, and you won't proceed very far in the next life. Heck, you'll probably live this life over.

At what age do you think "damn, I can't maintain my youth"?

70.

Do you ever regret having your child?

No. I have two, a boy and a girl. Actually, a man and a woman. Their mother is a piece of work. I divorced her. My son makes the big bucks working for Verizon, and my daughter is the best mother for my two grandkids that I can imagine.

Forgive me, honesty only hurts when you allow it. For example, two squirrels quarreling only can mean what part of the grass your eating?

What the...???

Do you judge people, or are you against judging?

God forgive me, I judge drivers when they do anything but drive the car they are behind the wheel of. I’m sure they are nice people otherwise.

Was Alain Delon a world-class asshole for wanting his healthy dog to be euthanized and buried with him when he died?

The jury says, “Yes!” And, the dog agreed.

"I have never agreed with shelters where healthy animals are 'put to sleep' just because they need the space. I find it cruel and something that needs to stop, especially in this century where something else could be done for this animal."

-- BlizzardHaze

Where is advantage?

Uh… advantage of what? How about some more information?

Why is it that people would actually allow someone to take advantage of them and mistreat them? Is it that they have low self-esteem and don't feel good about themselves?  Do they need validation from a person who has malicious tendencies?

For one thing, some people allow this. Not all people allow it. If the victims would stand up for themselves, the bullies would leave them alone. The rest of your question is spot on. But, why would anyone need validation from a malicious moron? If you give yourself the self-esteem you deserve, you won’t need outside validation. It is a choice, to be a group of one.

Why is it so hard, these days, to find a caring and honest person and a friend?

Move to the Mississippi Gulf Coast. It’s hard to find one that’s not.

Why do people these days not care about anyone?

I’m a caregiver for my girlfriend. Where did you get this line of bullshit? I hang with some vets that help at the drop of a hat. Not all people are not caring.

Why do people in the US think they’re the “average” or “normal” when they’re literally neither?

Being above average and abnormal, I have no idea.

What are some debate topics that will start an argument?

Politics. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to say the right thing and get the liberals to start an argument, because they don’t agree with anything that isn’t socialist. It is what it is.

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”

-- Mark Twain

What is a sister’s husband called?

Her husband. Did I not understand the question?

How do you respond to someone who tells you not to be rude?

I can’t help myself. I have no filter, so I say what I think. It can be rude, but it is probably the truth. Sometimes, people need a shot of the truth to get them back on the right path. 

Is it rude to call Joe Biden a jagaloon, and tell him he’s a failure?

When did honesty become rude? Now, on to Harris…

Why is fear keeping people broke?

Bad parenting? If they were taught to work hard and learn the lessons that life delivers to them, they would be fine. Unfortunately, they were never given the information or they simply ignored it. It comes back to the individual being afraid of work and learning.

How do I start an extramarital affair in a family?

You need to learn to say the right things, to the right person.

Last night I slept with my husband's friend while I was drunk. What should I do now?

Take a shower... and hope his "friend" doesn't have any STDs he passed to you. this isn't his first ball game. After you get your wits about you, you might think about your marriage. Don’t blame your decision to "sleep around" on the booze. If you slept with your husband’s friend, ask yourself, how many friends he has? I mean, really. If you’re going to "sleep around" you might think about a divorce.

“He wants to use my body, to take advantage, and I want to let him. I want to be someone’s one-night stand, some blithe slut... I want to allow myself to be like all those women I pretended to look down upon all my life, but whom I secretly envied for having the guts to have their legs spread by strange men in smoky bars.”

-- Valentine Glass

How should one respond to someone who says, "Kids these days."?

“Yeah, they are much older.”

My wife doesn't satisfy me sexually, what should I do? I have told her this many times.

What you need to ask of her, for all of us, is why you married her, in the first place? I mean, sex is the “big taco” in marriage. What do you do? Well, divorce comes to mind. I mean, you’re going to live your whole life with your wife. Is this the one? Think about it, and then you might need to rectify the mistake.

Is staying a recluse away from society like saying “f#%k you” to society?

Pretty much.

How will you encourage the young ones to avoid or prevent from engaging in premarital sex?

Have you ever talked to a brick wall? How did the conversation go? The girls are pretty smart. The guys have a “boner” they need to take care of. You might be talking, but their “urge” is helping to ignore you. Now, we’re back to the “brick wall,” at the start of this. Everything you might have said to them, early on in life, is out the window. What they want, is some “strange.” Hey, I don’t blame them a bit. I have enjoyed a lot of "strange" in my life. Premarital sex is all about protection, and this might keep their attention.

Is a sex-free marriage the norm?

Oh, hell no.

Why do I hate it when people feel proud of me?

What people think of you is immaterial. How you think of yourself, is more important to your life than what others think. If you can be satisfied with your accomplishments, you have "accomplished" something special. "Pride" is a dirty word, but being very satisfied with what you have done, is much better.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”

-- Seneca

How should one respond when someone says, "I'm prettier than you"?

“You’re a slut. Something to be proud of.”

What are some excuses to tell your parent/parents why you weren't in class?

I’m a screw-up. I take after you. They don’t teach me what I want to learn. And, my favorite: I was getting some strange sex in the backseat of my car.

What is a term for someone who naturally makes others laugh without trying to be funny themselves?

Naturally humorous.

How do I ask a female if she would allow me to take naked pictures of her at my home?

“Can I take naked pictures of you at my home?” This isn’t rocket science. It is a “yes” or “no” answer.

What would you want to do with me, my girl, if we were with you right now?

I’m not a female, but the question seems humorous. Who is “we” in the question?

My bf has a retroactive jealousy issue, he now constantly likes to joke around about my "ex" and devalue me, in a way. Is he actually joking or not?

Your “bf” has a peculiar sense of humor. First of all, your “ex” should be off-limits for him. Second, to “devalue” you, is crossing a line. It may be time for a “new bf” decision. If you let him “devalue” you, anything goes. Joking, or jealousy? Be real. He’s showing his ass, and you probably deserve better than this.

“Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.”

-- H.G. Wells

How should one handle a spouse who has been consistently vindictive since the beginning of the marriage?

Why stay in the marriage? Get a divorce, and be more careful the next time.

How do I go back to school, after the most embarrassing, humiliating thing that happened to me in school, and the whole school heard about it?

Sucks being you, but... it is what it is. Embarrassing? Humiliating? The only cool thing to do is to laugh about all of it.

Why does someone say, "Are you done being mad at me?"

They liked it when you weren’t mad at them.

Could my fear of a preordained universe come from inferior intelligence? It may involve the rejection of uncertainty.

The universe is a fact. The “Big Bang” ordained the creation. “Uncertainty” is a human weakness, that tells us we don’t know what is certain. Your fear is unfounded due to the foundation of facts that can’t be changed. I just gave myself a headache. Have a nice day!

How do I reply, to a female, when she asks if I'm a virgin?

“Yes, but I game if you’d like to take care of that.”

What are the best habits for success in life?

Strive toward true happiness always and in everything, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice.

“Success is not how high you have climbed, but how you make a positive difference to the world.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

 

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Change, Judging, Advantage, Pretending, Sex, and Dealing

“Everyone must leave something behind when he dies . . . Something your hand touched some way so your soul has somewhere to go when you die . . . It doesn't matter what you do, so long as you change something from the way it was before you touched it into something that's like you after you take your hands away.”

-- Ray Bradbury

How have you seen the world change in your lifetime?

Many times. When I was in military Intelligence, it changed several more times.

What do you do if the question doesn't like the answer?

Nothing to do about it. I have no filter, so what I think is what you get. If the question doesn’t like the answer, then the question needs some work. Don’t shoot the messenger when the author is at fault.

Why do all my friends be so rude to me?

You need new friends who will value your friendship.

If you make a civilized respectful reply to someone with differing views, that is considerate and not even implying anything sinister whatsoever and they reply in anger and frustration for not thinking like they do, saying you need help are they NPC?

They are not as considerate as you. They are a borderline “asshole.” When they go off the “deep end” you need to smile and walk away from them. That will really piss them off.

In your opinion, what’s the difference between teasing and bullying? When does teasing cross the line into bullying?

When teasing begins to hurt, it has crossed the line.

Do you like going to bars at all, if you do how often do you go and do you socialize with others there?

Absolutely! There are several in town, and I make the rounds. I try to go every day, and I do socialize with my friends… and my new friends. The Mississippi Gulf Coast is a pleasurable place to hang out.

“Socializing is more positive than being alone, that’s why meetings are so popular. People don’t like being alone. That would be, however, an important skill to learn...”

-- Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

What justifications do you have that it is okay to judge people as long as they cannot be condoned, are far worse in terms of quality, cannot be trusted, etc. in the capitalist society?

I don’t judge them, I just don’t pay attention to them. Paying attention can paint you as a target for them. I like to make the statement that I am off-limits as a target.

What should people never say to you?

Anything they don’t want to be thrown back at them. I despise assholes.

How do you control your anger and not leash out towards people whom you cannot condone, cannot trust, etc., in a capitalist society, since want to bait you?

Not taking the bait is the first rule of control. I condone most people because they try hard to be condoned. Someone who plays games is not my cup of tea. I am upfront and honest, and I expect the people around me to be the same. If they aren’t now, they soon will be.

Why do they keep saying Kamala is stupid?

Stupid is as stupid does. But, wait… she hasn’t done anything. Okay, she laughs.

What do I do when she always blames me for everything and says I always let her down and I am not able to make her happy emotionally?

Sounds like the time for a divorce. You need someone you can be close friends with, especially in a relationship. 

Who, among internet users, are weak-minded enough to answer this question, so I can gather up all the idiots and have a block party?

So, you want people with something in common with you?

“I've always been very confident in my immaturity.”

-- Brandon Sanderson

Just because I’m a really nice person, people try to take advantage of me. How can I stop being treated like this?

There’s nothing wrong with being a nice person, except that people will try to take advantage of you. It is the curse of the “nice” person. You will always be a target. The best thing you can do is to not be taken advantage of. That’s it. A couple of the best ideas are to get a better group of friends… and learn to say no.

Do you look other shoppers in the eye when at the store? How do you avoid doing it?

If I were shopping for shoppers, I’d be interested in their eyes. I avoid this by shopping for other things.

What are common health-related challenges in relationships?

STDs, cancer, smoking (see cancer), drinking alcohol, losing a limb, or losing a face. Almost everything becomes a “health-related challenge” in a relationship. This is why the relationship should be based on true love and friendship. Losing most of your motor skills can be a challenge for you and who you are with. When you get older, you don’t give a shit about most of this. It is what it is, for most people.

How does obsession with celebrities impact an individual's intellectual development?

Only if their “obsession” gets in the way of their “intellectual development.”

When did you change your mind about something? Briefly describe.

1998. I was separated from my, soon to be, ex-wife. I went to bed with a fairly good-looking woman. She was wrong in so many categories. I changed my mind about taking strangers home. I didn’t get laid as much, but I also didn’t have to deal with strangers in my bed. It was an intelligent choice.

Is pride what stops people from changing for the better?

No. They might think it’s pride, but it would be real ignorance, on their part.

“All men make mistakes, but a good man yields when he knows his course is wrong, and repairs the evil. The only crime is pride.”

-- Sophocles

How does pretending to be stupid help benefit you on [this site]?

It doesn’t. Pretending to be stupid is ignorant, and most people can tell.

What is a lesson flow?

Are you talking “Lessonflow” or “lesson flow”? Lessonflow, is “a platform to standardize the way you collect, store, share and reuse lessons learned.” Lesson flow, is how the lessons taught are presented to the students.

How can a university student gain confidence?

Study and get good grades. This isn’t rocket science. Well, it might be.

What are things you wasted countless time worrying about, but never happened?

Her name was Barbara. I ended up divorcing her after 25 years of marriage. What I worried about was her love for me. It was never going to happen, and I needed a life. I’ve been seriously happy for the 23 years since.

What is missing in our society?

Law and order.

How do you stop expecting from your partner? When you know it will hurt eventually.

Whether it is business or marriage, expectations should be what your “partner” should expect from themselves. Both have enough on their plate to be worrying about the other partner. Take care of your side, and let the partner take care of theirs. If you are both doing the right things, the partnership will flourish.

“Blessed is he who expects nothing, for he shall never be disappointed.”

-- Alexander Pope

What happened to me? I don’t enjoy sex that much anymore.

Age. How old are you?

Which country has a higher value of money?

I used to say the United States. After Joe Biden screwed the economy, that thought died a painful death, along with our border that he opened.

Why do most ladies not want to talk the truth in updating their new partners?

Their guilt, with the old partner, is a nasty update.

Why is being single both a scary and a relieving thought?

I went through this in the divorce from my wife, of 25 years. Infidelity. No problem for her. I gave her everything in the divorce. I was left with nothing, not even pride. I had a gun, that was it. I was scared and considered the coward’s way out. But, a voice in my head, asked me what people would think of me… taking the coward’s way out. After 23 years in the military, I was better than this. I was so much better than her. Five years later, I was dating and had forgotten all about her. I wasn’t scared, not anymore. I didn’t know why I was scared in the first place. Life is what it is. Deal with it.

Do you find people profoundly uninteresting because of their stunning lack of sophistication?

You are hanging around the wrong people.

What are things people should not be afraid to say or do, even if they are worried about other people's opinions?

Nothing. How you say things and how do things will soften the blow… if you care. I have no filter. What I think, I usually say. People consider it bad form. I consider it honesty. It is what it is.

“You are not entitled to your opinion. You are entitled to your informed opinion. No one is entitled to be ignorant.”

-- Harlan Ellison

What is the best way to deal with a high-conflict ex-spouse, for the sake of the kids?

Any conflict should not be done in front of the kids. I speak from experience.

Is it normal to compare yourself to your partner?

It is normal, but not recommended. Both friends bring commonalities, along with differences, to the marriage. If you were the same, there would be no room for friendly discussion. You would know what the outcome would be. The differences, you both bring, make the marriage interesting and, at times, unknown.

How should one respond when being called an "emotional mess"?

Start crying.

Would you like to have sex with another man in front of your husband but your husbands not okay with it?

Well, aren’t we being the asshole? As a man, personally, I’d enjoy it. Tit for tat. It gives me permission to bring a strange woman home and have sex in our bed. The wife can watch… if she wants. The marriage just became a free-for-all. You'll have to wait, though, for other shoe to fall - Divorce.

Why do some children throw tantrums, even for little things?

Questionable parenting.

Why do most relationships that are based on love fail?

There isn’t enough friendship to hold a loving relationship together. Relationships, especially in marriage, need a strong friendship to get the couple through the hard times. No friendship, no good, strong, relationship.

“It is not a lack of love, but a lack of friendship that makes unhappy marriages.”

-- Friedrich Nietzsche

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Not my circus, not my monkey (Updated from 7/30/2015)

 

Question: "I would like to invite each of you to post your personal meditations and how you cope with life's stress. We could all benefit from your input."

-- Rev. Lynne Delgado

Best Answer: "How do I handle everyday stress? That's a great question! I try not to hold on to any negative energy... I find that if I repeat to myself,  "Not my circus, not my monkey." I keep calm!"

Lynne asked this question the other day on the minister's page of the monastery website.  I didn't see many responses, but I've been busy hanging the lattice surround under the new house and haven't checked back.  My choice of best answer, though, would have to go to Tracy with her, "Not my circus, not my monkey" comment, which I have included in its entirety.  It seems Tracy follows my philosophy.  Here is a woman who, I think, truly sees the value in not being responsible for everyone else's happiness.  "Not my circus, not my monkey."  My own answer reflected this same sentiment:

"Lynne, in answer to your query as to how we deal with life's stress, I stopped letting other people be in charge of my happiness and I have stopped being responsible for theirs, and I stopped having monetary debt. Why worry over that which you have no control? Why worry over that which you do? I think we need to let more stuff go in our lives. We carry around way too much baggage which we seem way too eager to share. Not having debt is a great way to own your own life. If you carry a balance on your credit card, full insurance on a vehicle you do not own outright, a mortgage, etc., you are someone's indentured servant and their plan is for you to never be free, which means never to be truly happy."

I will be spreading this new saying, as I think it simplifies the entire point of keeping other people's stress out of your own life and off of your path.  With everything going on in the world today that is of so much more importance than the trivial bullshit involved in the circus we visit upon ourselves, maybe we should all recognize, early on, that nothing is entertaining here. We need to learn to leave the "big top" when we see the monkey has set the tent ablaze.

My thought for this Sunday is to take stock of not only how we handle our stress, but of why we even allow this stress to occur. Stress is a choice, it is a choice each of us makes for our own lives, and it is proof that we are not the sharpest tools in the shed. It is one thing to buy a ticket to the sideshows in life, it is quite another to become part of the sideshow, much less become the star attraction.

There’s a Polish proverb which millennials often use today: “Not my circus, not my monkeys.” It’s a way of saying, “Don’t drag me into your drama and your issues—I’m not getting involved.”

-- Kirk Walden

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Rights, Fun, Work, Leaving, Stupid, and Happiness

 

“If you want to know a person’s true character, observe how he treats those who don’t matter.”

-- Matshona Dhliwayo

Do you agree that rights should be earned, not given? For example, stupid, illiterate people shouldn't have the right to post an opinion?

So, intelligent people who act stupid, shouldn’t have the right to either. I’ve known many “intelligent” people who do ignorant things and think it’s okay because they have a degree that makes them think it’s okay. It isn’t, and they’re intelligently ignorant. Everyone has the right to state their opinion. They have the right to post their opinion. They have the right to have their opinion heard. The people who are ignorant, or “stupid” as you call them, are the people who don’t want “stupid, illiterate people” to have a voice. As I have heard, it seems most of the people that populate the earth are “stupid, illiterate people,” God bless them.

If a person is self-important, does it mean he's not important to anybody but himself?

Pretty much.

Is it considered inappropriate to tell someone that their life has no real purpose or meaning outside of their own perception?

And your perception is perfect? Probably not. I would say, anyone who tells someone this “has no real purpose or meaning outside of their own perception.” But, I sure wouldn’t tell them that. It would make you sound ignorant. 

How do you call a person who lives by threatening others so he can feel good (give me another word other than a bully)?

Asshole? Prick? Son of a bitch?

Will being really nice to every living creature make me pretty, or at least cover the fact that I’m ugly? How do I know if I'm nice and kind?

You are worried about it. That, in itself, states that you will work to make it so. Be “selfless” in all you do. This means you don’t go for the spotlight, you don’t want the accolades or the thank yous. You do “good” and fade into the background. I buy supplies for our local soup kitchen, I work through the manager and have told him to keep my involvement on the down-low. Not even my significant other knows I do this. If you do this and strive to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of your circumstances, you will know you are “nice and kind.” Pretty? What does pretty do for you, that being nice and kind won’t? I think, not much.

Trust, loyalty, and respect are a must for eternal happiness… Is that true?

These are traits that define a good person. Are they eternally happy? Maybe. But, if they aren’t, I can almost guarantee, they are looked on by most people as a truly good person.

“The reason why there are so many bad people in the world is very simple: It's easy to be a bad person, it's hard to be a good person!”

-- Mehmet Murat ildan

What kinds of fun do you like with your opposite gender?

We go shopping. At 70 years of age, this is about it. We are making a standing “Saturday night date” for wine at the Bistro.

What are the deep-seated needs and desires that drive people to seek out and create shared moments, and how can food play a central role in these experiences?

We are societal creatures. We started this way and still are, though we have forgotten our long-lost history. Food has always been the peacemaker. It makes a good experience where combat may have broken out. 

Would you kill your enemy and his children because he called you a loser?

This would be the action of a coward. It would be better, if you smiled and forgave them.

I don't blame other people, but I often feel lonely which comes suddenly and weighs on my chest to the point of crying, how do I stay stable?

Accept who you are. You are right not to blame those who had no hand in your choices and decisions. This is all about you. When this feeling comes upon you, do something “selfless” to help those really in need. You might find that the weight will leave you as you do "selfless deeds" for other people.

What's your perfect Saturday like? Your current age? Thanks.

Bourbon and a cigar, as I relax at the local watering hole. I am 70+ years young.

I am shy and I am an introvert. I also have low self-esteem and low confidence caused by past experiences. What can I do to help build my self-esteem and confidence? Or, is this part of having a shy personality?

The first thing you need to do is accept that you have past experiences and let them go. You aren’t there anymore. Close your eyes and relax. Now, mentally, forgive everybody who did you wrong. This, instead of, mentally, killing them. You are stronger than you think, and “forgiveness” is the sword of the strong of heart. Being shy has nothing to do with having good self-esteem and confidence. So, snap out of it! Go work at a soup kitchen, or anywhere you can see many people and interact with them. “Shy” will be a historical trait you will dust off occasionally. 

"Let us be shy no longer. Let us go to our strength. Let us offer hope. Let us tell the world, that a new age is not only possible but probable."

-- Ronald Reagan

“If you work hard, you’ll be successful in life” To what extent do you agree with this statement?

It depends on your definition of “success” in life. For me, striving to be truly happy always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances, meets my definition of success. Anything else is just money to live on.

I loved my first girlfriend. She loved me too, but another woman treated her better. What should I do?

Nothing. She is shallow. She wants to be pampered. Now, you can go out and find true love. 

How would you become the best version of yourself?

I’m already there. “Strive to be truly happy, always, and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice, a life choice.” I came up with the saying, and I live by it. Anything else is contrary to progress in life. 

I made my wife cum for the first time. What should I do?

Drink champagne with her, take her to dinner, come back home, and do it again... better.

How do I act when she comes back?

From where? If she’s having an affair, change the locks and slam the door in her face. She thinks she can come back? She must think you will forgive her. She will continue to have “trysts” if you let her.

How do we cope with a relationship to maintain a strong and peaceful marriage?

If you have to “cope,” there is already a problem. If you have to cope, you shouldn’t have gotten married in the first place.

“Happy is the man who finds a true friend, and far happier is he who finds that true friend in his wife.”

-- Franz Schubert

My boyfriend behaves very rudely with me and without physical touch he doesn’t even talk to me. I always behave well with him. What should I do?

Leave him. It isn’t rocket science.

Why are Republicans promoting ignorance, stupidity, and lies?

They’re trying to catch up with the Democrat’s ignorance, stupidity, and lies. It seems a little counter-productive, to me.

What should I do if I want a better life?

Get a better job. Or, move from California to the Mississippi Gulf Coast.

What are the effects of saying "I don't love anyone" or "I don't have any friends"?

The effect of saying, “I don’t love anyone,” is the response, “Sucks being you.” The impact of saying, “I don’t have any friends,” is the response, “What am I?” Before you consider saying any of this, consider the person you’re saying it to. They may have a snappy comeback, or they may take offense.

Why does it bother other people when someone thinks highly of themselves?

If they misplace their ego, what else have they misplaced?

How can my husband tell everybody including me that he loves me more than anything, yet takes off on me constantly, never home at night, and refuses to respond to a single phone call or message? Why can he respond to others, yet not me?

Do you think he’s full of shit? It sounds like his love for you, is lip service… and not the “lip service” you need. Maybe it’s time for you to stop cutting bait, and think about fishing for a man who pays attention to you. Mention “divorce” and see what his reaction is. One way or another, you might be happier.

“If I was married to a guy like that, chances are good he’d wind up being a suspicious smell in the attic”

-- G.A. McKevett

What is the best way to handle a situation where people constantly call each other stupid?

Don’t get into it. They are, constantly, trying to outdo each other with their obvious ignorance. And, this is the point. There is no stupid person. They are only ignorant. Name-calling simply pisses people off. I try not to get into it, thus, my advice: Don’t get into it.

Should I stay at a job I am not happy with?

No. A simple answer to a simple question.

Is it okay to have one thousand questions?

It is okay, but they may not be answered all at once. One thousand questions will take a while. Actually, it's kind of a job a person needs to be paid for. One thousand questions… Jeeze!

Do I really need a serious relationship?

No. 

Why can't people understand that race does matter to you?

They are really racists, and they think you are. Or, they think you have made some racist statement, which you haven’t. Or, they just don’t give a shit, one way or another… you are guilty. The fact that I think the illegal aliens need to be rounded up and be ejected out of this country, is not racist. They are illegal and they have invaded my country. They need to go. It isn’t racist. It is protecting our border, which the waste of a President hasn’t done.

Why do I always pick the shitty girls to date?

You like the “shitty” girls. No problem with that. Everyone needs to have fun.

“Was she a bad person? She didn’t know. She didn’t feel bad but…she didn’t feel exactly good either. Not that she knew what those things really meant anyway. Who decided?”

-- Lexie Talionis

What is your opinion on the quote, "Happiness is not in possessions but in appreciation of what we already have."?

It is my quote: “Strive to be truly happy, always, and in all things, regardless of your circumstances. It is a choice, a life choice.”

Why aren’t many people responding to my questions?

If I have not responded, please send the questions to me.

Why is almost no one helpful on here?

It depends on the basic question. If there is no meat, there will be no reasonable nibble. Are your questions asking for more than a one-word answer? If not, a one-word answer is what you get.

Why would a guy stop to eat you out in the middle of sex?

Uh… he’s hungry?

What does it mean when your son does not like your boyfriend?

It means he doesn’t like your boyfriend. Not rocket science. It means that the boyfriend will put up with rejection from the son. If this doesn’t change, marriage is a serious problem.

My father got my wife pregnant. What should I do?

Tell your father he’s on the hook for all the bills, and you need to divorce your wife. 

“Why didn't I feel that I belonged to my parents? How could I have known that I was not right? I think it has always been part of me. Can a newborn sense her parents' disappointment, and feelings of frustration, at not being able to change the unchangeable?”

-- Joan Frances Casey

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com

Questioning Friends, Advice, Confusion, Change, Women, and Property

“Don’t walk in front of me… I may not follow. Don’t walk behind me… I may not lead. Walk beside me… just be my friend”

-- Albert Camus

Is having friends always going to matter?

Friends give you honesty when you need it, even when you don’t want to hear it.

How do you check your own ignorance?

I find out I’m “ignorant” from people in the know. We are here, in this life, to learn. Part of learning is realizing you are ignorant on many levels. You can educate yourself if you find an area you are ignorant of. Part of learning is knowing to let people know, you don’t know, so you can learn.

What does it mean when a husband says he doesn't care if the wife cheats?

Probably, because he is already cheating. He might be looking for a divorce. Or, he might want to watch his wife have sex with a stranger. Or, he just doesn’t give a shit.

What was the moment you realized, your boss was completely out of touch with reality?

When he blamed me, to the owner, for doing something he did. I let it go and chewed his ass in private. How dare he throw me under the bus. Over drinks with the owner, I ratted him out. She knew that he had done something off-color, by the look on my face when he did it. We laughed about it. 

How do I become a good person in society?

Become good and selfless, in all that you do. Helping people, always, is a great way to start.

How can I be more confident, have a strong personality, make changes, and be a leader?

Your questions are evidence that you have some way to go. A leader already has the answer to these. The best way to learn what you need is to take a leadership class with a group like the American Management Association. 

"A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way, and shows the way."

-- John C. Maxwell

It's kind of hilarious. Everyone here is looking for advice but can't even take their own smh?

Okay, so I’m old. What does “smh” stand for? And, this is not really a question. It’s more of a statement.

Is it practical or even desirable to be mindful all the time?

I’m mindful most of the time. Making love, on the other hand, requires one to surrender whatever your partner wants. I have tried to be mindful. But, it’s difficult when you are ad-libbing at the moment.

How do I get rid of anger pangs caused by realizing I missed a task or am too late?

It is what it is. You can’t make it right, so let it go. Apologies all round. Oops… Screwed up. Que sera, sera.

Why do many people regret their decisions when they reach the end?

They made the wrong decision, or they made the right decision for the wrong reason. All one can do is do the good thing. If your decision is based on good, there is nothing more you could have done, but been wrong. If you do the best you can do, and it is good, people will see it, sooner or later.

What is the difference between confidence and action?

You have confidence that the action you are taking is the right action. Confidence is thought, and the action will show that your confidence was not in vain.

What are you thankful for today?

I woke up. Any day on this side of the dirt is a great day.

“The very fact that you're aware of suffering is enough reason to be overjoyed that you're alive and can experience it.”

-- Bob Ross

Why can’t I think of anything to do? I’m so confused.

Selflessly help someone. You won’t be confused anymore.

What is some advice for the new generation regarding success in life?

If what you do makes you truly happy, you are successful in life. Strive to be truly happy, always, and in all things, regardless of your circumstances.

Do you agree that the mark of your education is not in how many degrees you acquire but in how you treat others?

Indeed.

Why has Cowmala Hairyass said that her racial identity is alien from Uranus?

An interesting thought. I thought she was a human, acting like an anus. I don’t think she knows what racial identity she wants to be, not that it is important, to anyone but her. Again, an anus. 

Is it possible to answer questions here but using incognito?

Most people do.

How does your mindset influence your perceptions and actions?

I try to be truly happy, always and in all things, regardless of my circumstances. I try to do good, and I try to be selfless in what I do. This “mindset” influences much of the “perceptions and actions” I utilize.

“There is nothing, either 'good or bad', but 'thinking' makes it so. It is the "perception" that makes things what they are. Good and bad are in our minds. It is our mindset, our mental attitude, that determines how we will interpret and respond to situations.

-- Erik Pevernagie 

In which country can change my race, in this world?

You can’t change who you are. On paper, maybe, but who you are will never change. All will do is know you are living a lie, for the rest of your life. I find that thought uncomfortable.

Is it true that a cheating wife/woman is more dangerous than a cheating husband/man?

How many cheating wives have killed their husbands?

Should I leave my husband who has committed adultery?

Will he commit it again? Probably. The act shows that he doesn’t love you more than life. Do you want a husband that wants you more than life? If not, you can stay where you are and find a flesh and blood toy to have fun with… kind of like your husband did. 

Do most men get bored of having sex with their wives?

It depends on how proficient and energetic she is at sex. Of course, if he loves her more than life, sex shouldn’t matter to him. 

How can you handle a disrespectful husband who refuses to obey you as his superior woman and ignores your orders, even if they are not abusive or unreasonable?

You thought you were marrying a submissive. Surprise! Next time do your due diligence.

This guy played me now he's in a serious relationship and I think he'll marry her. How do I cope with being "second best" all the time? Also, I'm mourning the loss.

Don’t be played. If you want to have sex, then go get it. If you want a serious relationship, you should be circumspect, and very careful of the men you date. You cope by getting over yourself. Get back on the horse and be more careful.

“She felt like she had started running a full marathon, feeling completely prepared and ready, only to be told, just before the finish line that the race had been canceled. And, in fact, there never even was a finish line”

-- Kawaguchi Toshikazu

What are simple things you can do to make your woman feel good?

Buy her flowers. If that doesn’t do what you thought it would… try oral sex. If that doesn’t do it, try something in between, like a hot sportscar. To tell the truth… flowers usually work.

Why would someone say no one wants you?

Jealousy. I deal with it all the time.

What happens when the public can see a narcissist’s victim overcome the smearing, bullying and public humiliation attempts from the narcissist?

“She breathes a sigh of relief that that shit is finally over, lets the narcissist destroy his own life (and probably several others) and gets back to her own shit.”

Rose just typed that, as an answer. I concur. You go, girl!

Women don't really hate men; why does society think they do?

They have a misconception that female homosexuality has spread more than it has.

How do I sleep with my husband's best friend?

You sleep with your husband, right? Well, it isn’t that much different. I wouldn’t call your husband’s name in the throws of orgasm, though. It might kill the moment. 

What do you mean by loyal?

Try this:

“Loyalty implies a faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray.”

-- Merriam-Webster

How are the foundations of problems fixed?

With new foundations. Is this another trick question?

The Lib voters are exploiting the system and rarely pay back their dues. Why is that? Is it laziness, stupidity, or no morals?

That, and so much more. Socialism sneaks in there somewhere, along with anti-Americanism. You have to love these people. Did I just say that? No, you really don’t have to love them, put up with them, be friends with them, listen to them, or hang around them.

My boyfriend cheated on me with other women when he was drinking. He still gets on stupid chat sites and answers and has all these fake bot women. Should I be concerned? I’m getting bored with the situation. Any advice?

I’m surprised you’re still with him.

What can I do if my husband and I have become political opposites?

If you really love each other, your politics don’t matter. It makes for good conversation. My Dad was a Democrat and my Mom was a Republican. Somewhere in their life, Dad became a die-hard Republican. They lived together until their deaths.

Sir Isaac Newton believed that his discoveries were largely based on his faith in God, so, why do modern physicists universally reject Isaac Newton's own view of his discoveries?

They reject his belief in a “God” figure. You can’t have religious beliefs around atheists.

Is it normal to regret being British, even though it wasn't my choice?

The British have a long and colorful history to be proud of. To regret being what you are is an insult to your country. If it wasn’t for Britain, holding the Nazi war machine at bay until the U.S. could make up its mind, we’d all be speaking German. I don’t find it to be a beautiful language. I studied it in high school. I thank the Brits for holding the line.

"The English certainly and fiercely pride themselves in never praising themselves."

-- Wyndham Lewis

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch - it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either view any more right or wrong than the other. Opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form their own opinions, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint.

I fervently hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion in an arena of mutual respect concerning those opinions offered. After twenty-three years of military intelligence, I believe that engaging each other in this manner, and in this arena, is a way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience... and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. Following his service career, he spent 17 years working with the premier and world-renowned Western Institutional Review Board, helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. He also served 8 years on the Board of Directors for the Angela J. Bowen Foundation.

Ordained in 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As a weapon for his war on intolerance, he chose the pen. He wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's personal, spiritual path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony at: tolerantpastor@gmail.com