Questions of the Future, Today, Ambiguity, Power, and Luck

“If you want to be happy, do not dwell in the past, do not worry about the future, focus on living fully in the present.”

-- Roy T. Bennett

How do I come to terms with the fact that I will miss out on so many things in the future?

There are plenty more lives where this one came from. If you miss out here, try to fit it in down the road.

How can I fix my mistakes?

Well, congratulations are in order… you’re already owning them. This is a step in the right direction. The next step is to recognize what mistakes and failure really are. They’re opportunities to learn. Critique why you failed or made a mistake, and then make it right or learn from it so you mitigate failure the next time. But, we can’t fix it if we don’t know why we made the mistake, and the mistake is usually the result of our poor choices or decisions. I use the “5 Whys” method when I try to fix mistakes. A simple worksheet explaining the process can be found here:

https://www.oakland.edu/Assets/upload/docs/Pawley/Lean-Enrichment-Activities/LEA---5-Whys.pdf

Fixing mistakes is all about humility. If you were wrong, admit it. If you hurt someone, apologize. If you can make it right, do so. Be always humble in your efforts.

How can we get people to realize that the world is too sophisticated to be left to typical politicians and their horribly limited understanding of good business practices and technology coupled with their dysfunctional behavior? Ideas on Solutions?

Nobody liked Trump, and look at what we have now. Oh, joy...  How is socialism working out for everyone?

As you cast your vote, do you only think about yourself or do you think about others in need?

I think about the damage one of the candidates is capable of doing to my country. If we vote for the right candidate, we won’t have to worry so much about others in need. If we vote for the wrong candidate, we’re in a recession. Guess what?

If you were to place judgment on me what would you say?

That the judgment I placed on you is going to cost me dearly when karma catches up. It is not my place to judge you.

“If you didn't grow up like I did then you don't know, and if you don't know it's probably better you don't judge.”

-- Junot Díaz

What is something that needs to be considered in today's world?

Voting for the right candidate, and that socialism only works until you run out of other people’s money.

If individuality is a breaking away from God and therefore evil, will my death be an opportunity to merge with God, or is birth and death the price for claiming individuality?

Why does “individuality” mean you have to lose your spirituality? I broke away from organized religion and churches due to their agendas of control, but my faith in God did not suffer an iota. If anything, my faith became stronger because of my individualism. 

My boyfriend hasn’t been making time for me and when I tell him, he takes date night away and said that’s not how it works. Is this abusive?

Ya think? Time to find a better boyfriend.

My boyfriend puts me down but claims that he is doing that for my own good and it’s tough love. How do I handle this if I love him?

Grab a handful of his balls and squeeze till he breaks out in a sweat. Tell him that you’re doing it for his own good and that it’s tough love. Tell him, that if he ever puts you down again, it’s over. You are better than the way he treats you. What will you do when he steps it up from mental to physical abuse? Are you still going to love him? 

What happens when your partner stops wanting to be with you?

Divorce. Been there and done that. 

“...unrequited love does not die; it's only beaten down to a secret place where it hides, curled and wounded. For some unfortunates, it turns bitter and mean, and those who come after pay the price for the hurt done by the one who came before.”

-- Elle Newmark

How do I win white people’s hearts?

Don’t be a racist. Win people’s hearts, and you’ve attained your goal. Black lives are not the only lives that matter, all lives have value.

How do you see an opportunity in a disaster?

Price gouging and “disaster capitalism” come to mind. One is illegal, and one ought to be.

Why are one’s impulses and instincts often questioned?

Because we don’t know who “one” is? If some stranger came up during a disaster and spouted instincts and impulses, no one would pay them much attention. I a fire chief came up in uniform and did the same, people would scramble to make it happen.

What personality characteristic screams “winner” to you?

Perseverance. 

How ambiguous are you?

After almost 23 years in military intelligence, I have the same problem with ambiguity as I have with screwing with people’s heads and showing the real me. At 70 years of age, I am still a work in progress.

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given to you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.”

-- Rainer Maria Rilke

What are the different ways one can achieve power?

Assassination, revolution, election, purchase, chance, or you can work your way up the ladder.

Are we really morbidly curious? What drives us to be SO curious? Curiosity only killed the cat or the humans too?

Unless “morbid” make you throw up, I’d say curiosity is a human characteristic that not only kills cats but dumbass humans, as well. We are driven by our desire to know. Why do people look up when they see someone looking up? Why do they look under the only can, in a series of cans, that is turned over? If you have something cooling, on top of the oven, that smells great, there is a good chance someone will taste it, not knowing it is homemade dog food. At one end we are curious, at the other end we are gullible. It is, for better or worse, who we are.

What aisle would Pedialyte be in?

Baby food. You can’t miss it, the other shelves will be bare.

What's best for a person with no financial willpower to put money aside? I absolutely don't want access to the cash for any reason, including hardships.

A tough fix. If your employer has a retirement fund, this is the best way I know of. The money comes out of your paycheck automatically. Some employers have matching amounts they put in, as well.

What is more valued in the USA, individualism or collectivism?

Individualism. Has to do with that little “freedom” issue that most of us value.

“I have no right to call myself one who knows. I was one who seeks, and I still am, but I no longer seek in the stars or in books; I'm beginning to hear the teachings of my blood pulsing within me. My story isn't pleasant, it's not sweet and harmonious like the invented stories; it tastes of folly and bewilderment, of madness and dream, like the life of all people who no longer want to lie to themselves.”

-- Hermann Hesse

Are human intuitions about risk generally reliable?

If it’s your intuition and you are very familiar and knowledgeable concerning the risk you are considering, yes. Otherwise, it’s still a crapshoot. People tend to say they have an intuition concerning things they have no clue about. Relying on that is simply dangerous.

Is there such a thing as luck, or does hard work take all the glory?

There is no glory in luck. If you work your ass off to attain a goal, you deserve all the glory that comes your way.

Why is it that the more good you do for bad people, the more they expect and use you?

They are, after all, bad people. What they expect, don’t give them and, certainly, do not let them use you. It benefits them nothing morally. When you “do” for them, however, do it because you want to and always do it selflessly.

Serve the country, serve the society. Life is too short. Carpe diem. Which will you choose?

If you’re going to serve the country and society, then… seize the day. There is no choice, other than not to do it. I made this choice for almost 23 years in the military, and I’ve still served my country and society ever since. If you don’t “seize the day” you are wasting the “gift” you woke up to. Am I misunderstanding the question?

What quote motivates you?

“Yesterday is gone. Tomorrow has not yet come. We have only today. Let us begin.”

-- Mother Theresa

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and, finally, a senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Western Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research.

Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as the lead chaplain at a regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com