Beauty: Skin Deep? (Republished, and updated, from 6/25/13)

 

"Everything has beauty, but not everyone sees it." 

-- Confucius

Nowadays people are augmenting everything, breasts, cheeks (both sets), eyes, lips, and, if all this isn't your thing, you can turn your skin into a canvas with a beautiful tattoo.  Adolph Hitler and his Third Reich would have loved to make a lampshade out of many large tattoos which now adorn our skin.  As a matter of fact, there are business entrepreneurs who will frame the tattooed skin of a deceased loved one, for use as a keepsake.  Other than becoming the object of some sick ticket's desire for unusual art to put above the bar in their “man cave,” what does this really accomplish?  

When I die, I'd rather my butt cheeks not be stretched on a canvas for a bunch of drunk yokels to poke fun at.  Okay, that not only didn't come out the way I intended, but I've now got this vision of stretched butt cheeks I can't unsee, and a flashback to some uncomfortable alien probing during my military years.

Tattoos aside, people undergo body augmentation for many reasons.  Sometimes the augmentation is to replace what was lost during surgery, cancer, accidents, and war.  More personal “cosmetic” reasons generally lean toward making one more attractive or defining who one is.  I can't argue with the latter, as many people need defining, or redefining, as the case might be.  However, one reason which floors me is, "My husband wanted me to do it."  Who gave him control of your body and control over what you want?  I try not to judge, but I hear this excuse and immediately think submissive wife.  The Marquis de Sade would approve.  I'm keeping quiet.

Medical reasons for augmentation stand well apart from the personal ones; people want back what God gave them.  But those personal reasons I have never understood.  My point of reference for the reasoning is my own shortfalls, which I deal with because, well, I am what I am. 

Medically, I was blessed with lousy vision.  My glasses were so thick they would fall off my face every time I looked down.  I became very adept at snatching them from mid-air before they hit the ground, so contact lenses were a godsend.  I am also slowly going bald.  But I have never considered implants, fusing, or even medications to grow hair.  Why not?  Well, would it make me something I'm not?  Would it make me a better person?  I am reminded of the joke where a man takes a gorgeous woman to a hotel room where he watches, mortified, as she slowly undresses, removing her wig, her left leg, her teeth, glass eye, well...you get the picture.  What is left is what is at hand.  What is left is what she hopes you will love.  The point is, wouldn't you rather be loved for who you are, and not the sum of your parts?  To put it another way, wouldn't you rather love a real person and not a plastic reproduction?  If you want plastic, go buy a blowup doll.  Otherwise, it is what it is.

I have never considered myself to be a handsome fellow.  Yet, I have never had a problem dating the ladies.  I found, early on, that it’s all about who you are inside, and how comfortable you are with… yourself.  Augmentation will not accomplish that.  Like drinking alcohol to forget, it is only a stop-gap on a journey to larger psychological issues.

What about those people who are already very handsome or beautiful and are looking to tweak their bodies a bit?  I just shake my head when I see absolutely gorgeous women who have permanently scarred their bodies with tattoos or augmented their breasts when they were already so beautifully petite and natural.  Who do you want to be more beautiful than when you’re already perfect?  I only hope the market for body art is limited to what the deceased puts in their Last Will & Testament or there will be bidding wars, “skin” wars, for ownership of expensively beautiful and desirable body art.  I love looking at some of the fabulous work some tattoo artists are capable of, I simply don't see the point of wanting it, unless it's to see how much pain you can endure but, even then, the point still escapes me.

As for your spouse wanting you to have it done, get a clue; if it takes you changing you to make them happy, to make them love you, better you should find another spouse.  How can anyone possibly see this demand for submissive behavior as love?  Not that whips, leather, and role-playing don't have their appeal but, in a relationship, if you don't love me for who I am and how I am, you don't love me.  Whips, handcuffs, and leather will make a lot happen, but probably not true love.

I love many of my friends that have had augmentations and tattoos.  I love many of my friends who smoke and are alcoholics.  Would I marry them?  Maybe, but if they don't love themselves there’s too much drama and baggage there already.  There are exceptions to any rule, even for me, but I have to look deeper than what they've done to their body.  I try to understand their reasoning, even if I might not agree.  And, if you’ve already had it done, then, what’s done is done, and there is rarely any going back to the perfect you that God gave us.  

Every mistake is a lesson to be learned, a lesson we usually discover as we get older.  Like when a woman sees that beautiful peach tattoo, covering her left breast, succumbing to gravity, and stretching toward the floor at her feet.  Not really a problem, except she's still standing upright and looking down upon it.  No big deal, except every biker in the bar, is also looking at it.  It is what it is, right?  Throw it over your shoulder, along with the sagging right breast, and move on.  Gravity gets worse or we tend to go “south” faster, as we age.  Tattoos also tend to fade and morph, like the depth of colors, or the supple peach which becomes the size of a grapefruit.  

Love of one's self.  That, for me, is what it comes down to.  Loving who you are and making the most of what God gave you.  You can't cheat God.  God makes us who we are for a reason.  It is up to us to find that reason and you won't find it with a scalpel or a tattoo needle.  If God wanted you to have more, you’d have it.  If God wanted you to have a tattoo, you’d have been born with something humorous emblazoned across your butt cheeks.  Why?  Because... I have faith in God’s endless sense of humor. 

With all this being said, I’d recommend looking deeper than the skin for what you think you need. God gave you what you are for a reason.  Work with it.

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com