Questions of Forgiveness, Love, Beauty, and Drama

 

“Beauty that pleases the eye is a frail, fleeting illusion. But that beauty capable of pleasing the heart can endure endlessly.”

-- Richelle E. Goodrich

What’s the most attractive feature about a girl?

From a distance, if she is truly attractive looking from the shallow end of the pool, her legs. However, if we’re discussing anything except looks, from the deep end of the pool, her personality. I’ve dated both, the legs and the personality. No slight intended, but, personality was always more fun. Just saying.

Why can't I figure out why I cheated?

You refuse to leave denial. You know why you cheated, you’ve just suppressed it so you don’t have to face it.

Money, love, or sex? Which one is the most important in a relationship?

Love. True love. Not the bullshit many people think it is. We tend to confuse deep, meaningful lust for true love, and then the novelty wears off, and, “what the hell was I thinking” takes its place.

What are your long-term interests?

Writing, art, and woodworking.

What’s the difference between “shoot oneself in the foot” and “dig oneself into a hole”?

If you shoot yourself in the foot, whatever the reason, it’s pretty well over. If you dig yourself into a hole, there's a chance you can climb out of it, but you’d better hurry before you shoot yourself in the foot.

"It's one thing to shoot yourself in the foot. Just don't reload the gun."

-- Lindsey Graham

How do you overcome intense sorrow and grief over a lost loved one?

I’ve never lost anyone that young. My loss has always been those who have lived a full life. We shed a tear, remember them fondly, raise a toast, and get on with life just like they are. I am sad they are gone. I will miss their company. But, they are off on the next great adventure. I, too, hope to be there someday.

How do I ask a woman out at work?

If there are no rules preventing fraternization, “Hey, would you like to go out?” 

In the job I work at in the warehouse field I deal with co-workers who act like they're my boss and I get talked about horribly, what can I do to keep my anger and stress level low because I don't tolerate anything?

Know what your job entails, and ask your supervisor how many supervisors you have on the floor. His answer better be “one,” or you need to find a better job where people have a better handle on HR law.

What is stopping you from looking for therapy?

I’m fine with my insanity.

Did your career success peak early?

Yes. In the military, I couldn’t stop making suggestions to make the job easier, so I was always put in charge of new projects. No matter where I was stationed, I was always in charge of something. Mom always said my mouth would get me into trouble, luckily it was not so much. 

“I don’t want to peak too early. The worry is that you never know until it’s all over whether you peaked at all – and then you’re finished and it’s too late.”

--Tom Courtenay

How do you apologize (as with emojis) without apologizing in a text message?

Try apologizing to them face-to-face or over the phone. For years we have taken the cowardly approach of sending a text or a letter to do what should be done personally. Have the decency and the temerity to rise above your shame and do the right thing after you’ve fallen on your sword.

What's the most crucial thing for a healthy relationship nowadays?

Honesty. It hasn’t changed so much. 

How do you find love in your thirties?

How did I find love at 50? Well, she asked me out on a date. She chased me. It was a nice change. As we get older, what we expect becomes “not so much” to us. We tend to go with the flow. “Pick up” lines are substituted for just asking if she’d like to go out for dinner. If the answer is no, it really becomes no big deal. Maybe she’ll come around when she realizes you’re treating her with maturity. Or, maybe you’ll realize you can probably do better.

Do you want to talk about your problems but worry that people won’t understand?

Nope. My problems are my problems. The only way anyone would understand is if they’ve been there and done that, and the fact that they have means they will understand and give me relative feedback.  

What name of God compasses all things?

"God said to Moses, “I am who I am. This is what you are to say to the Israelites: ‘I am has sent me to you.’”

-- Exodus 3:14

Can a husband cheat on his wife's sister?

He can cheat with her, but not on her, unless he’s married to both of them. If he is married to both, it wouldn’t be cheating.

How can I forgive myself for the mistake I did many years ago?

Mistakes and failures are the best ways we learn. If you haven’t learned anything from it, you probably find it hard to move forward. So, you made a mistake, good for you, you’re a human. Now, learn from it, correct it if possible, apologize to those you wronged, and get your ass back in the present. Now is what you need to pay attention to because what we do now, with the lessons from the past, has a great bearing on our future... if any.

Is it better to have an unfaithful spouse rather than a rude one?

No. Either way, you should dump them.

How does social media affect your day-to-day life?

I spend way too much time, in the morning, answering these questions. I have been working on getting up and out earlier than I have. 

Why is 666 the mark of the beast specifically?

“Here is wisdom. Let the one having understanding calculate the number of the beast, for it is the number of a man. And his number is six hundred sixty-six.”

-- Revelation 13:18

It isn’t the “mark of the beast” specifically. It is known in several other arenas, and some are good. However, when one speaks of “666″ we tend to automatically associate it with evil, and this is not necessarily a bad thing. Better to jump to evil as your first thought, than to have evil jump to you as its first thought.

Reader comment:  We're here to think NOT to blurt out doctrine. *eyeroll* 

Note to my readers:  I'm not certain putting context behind the question would be considered blurting out doctrine, but that seems to be all she read.  The "*eyeroll*" told me the League of the Perpetually Offended was in the house, and that explains much.  That, and she spelled "eye-roll" wrong.  I'll let the comment speak for itself.

"I don't really believe in the Devil, but if the Devil is the Father of Lies, then he certainly invented the Internet."

-- Ken MacLeod

Is self-love really important as people make it out to be?

If you want to truly love others, yes. I always refer to airline safety briefings for this: “Put on your oxygen mask first, before helping the passenger next to you.” How truly good are you to anyone else if you don’t take care of yourself first? How can you truly heal someone if you aren’t 100%? How can you truly love someone if you don’t truly love yourself? Oh, you can probably do all of this, but success will be a crapshoot, a gamble.

What do you hope to gain from life?

Information to assist me in answering the question we should all be concerned with - “Why?” On the journey, I have learned to be truly happy always and in all things. This is the icing on my cake.

When someone tells me "I have a doubt", what does it mean? Is (s) he doubting me or going to ask a question about something else?

If you made a statement of belief, he might be doubting your belief. If you are discussing an opinion someone else stated, he might be doubting their belief. “I have a doubt” doesn’t mean they are right, or that the other person is wrong, it simply means they simply question the veracity of the information that was put forward.

What made you realize that the previous people you were surrounded by were negatively influencing your life?

I have never “surrounded” myself with negative people. The few I let get close are known to me to be negative, and I allow them into my circle of friends more as comedy relief. Negative people are counterproductive to everything, they tend to belong to the League of the Perpetually Offended, so it behooves us to recognize them early on and deal with them appropriately.  

Is forgiveness fundamentally a release from blame and anger?

Oh, hell no. I forgive many people for what they’ve done. They are still at fault, and the blame is squarely theirs. My anger, if any, is assuaged by my forgiveness of their actions.

“To err is human, to forgive, divine.”

-- Alexander Pope

Editor's Note

(Re: disclaimer cum "get out of jail free" card)

Before you go getting your panties in a bunch, it is essential to understand that this is just an opinion site and, as such, can be subjected to scrutiny by anyone with a differing opinion. It doesn't make either opinion any more right or wrong than the other. An opinion, presented in this context, is a way of inciting others to think and, hopefully, to form opinions of their own, if they haven't already done so. This is also why, occasionally, I will present an "opinion" just to stir an emotional pot. Where it may sound like I agree with the statements made, I'm more interested in getting others to consider an alternate viewpoint. 

It is my fervent hope that we keep open and active minds when reading opinions and while engaging in peaceful and constructive discussion, in an arena of mutual respect, concerning those opinions put forth. After over twenty years with military intelligence, I have come to believe engaging each other in this manner and in this arena is the way we will learn tolerance and respect for differing beliefs, cultures, and viewpoints.

We all fall from grace, some more often than others; it is part of being human. God's test for us is what we learn from the experience, and what we do afterward.

Pastor Tony spent 22 years with the United States Air Force Intelligence as a planner, analyst, briefer, instructor, and senior manager. He spent 17 years, following his service career, working with the premier, world-renowned, Institutional Review Board helping to protect the rights of human subjects involved in pharmaceutical research. Ordained 1n 2013 as an "interfaith" minister, he founded the Congregation for Religious Tolerance in response to intolerance shown by Christians toward peaceful Islam. As the weapon for his war on intolerance he chose the pen, and wages his "battle" in the guise of the Congregation's official online blog, The Path, of which he is both author and editor. "The Path" offers a vehicle for commentary and guidance concerning one's own personal, spiritual, path toward peace and the final destination for us all. He currently resides in Pass Christian, Mississippi, where he volunteered as a chaplain at the regional medical center.

Feel free to contact Pastor Tony:  tolerantpastor@gmail.com